"Dark Madeleine, I will stop you!" Mel stood before me, her bow drawn and aimed at me with a light arrow.

"I am darkness. All shall crumble!" I stomped on the ground, creating countless shadow clones, before using the Ring of Lurking Darkness on my hand to manipulate them all, crushing their human forms and turning them into the Scythe of Reaping Darkness, the Armor of Unbreaking Darkness, and the Shadow Companion Dragon of Powerful Darkness.

Before I could equip my newly made weapons and unleash my Familiar of Friendly Darkness, Mel dispersed her magic arrow and put her bow down. "Satisfied? Also, your naming sense sucks."

"I'm satisfied."

"Then take the ring off."

"No!"

"You leave me no choice." She pulled out her spare dagger. "I will break my dagger."

"That's not that big of a threat."

"Let me try again." She put the dagger back into its sheath and then pulled out our special table in miniature form. "I will break our table."

"Okay, that's somewhat worse, but I will not hand it back! It's mine! Mine, I say!"

"You don't want me to do this."

"I dare you to do it!"

"I won't eat your sandwiches."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What are we doing? Why am I playing along?"

"Because you love me, and I love you."

"We should get out of our house's burnt remains and go to an inn."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Just so we can go right now so I can sleep, yes, yes it is."

"Cool." And off we went to the nearby inn.

---

Hey there, it's me, the person who talks to the wind, Madeleine here. I'm currently alone in the inn room me and Mel share. She's out, off to do something. She didn't tell me what, but I assume she went to a nearby bakery to buy a sandwich. I should've also asked her to buy something for me, like a wedding ring. I should really make a guest list. First guest, the Judge of Souls.

"So I got us some quests." Mel came back into the room, holding a few pieces of paper.

"Quest? Why?"

"Because we need money. Don't tell me you forgot everything burnt down in the fire?"

"My two jars of eyes didn't burn."

"Why do you have them? Why did you bring them?"

"I didn't bring them. They came to me."

"That is incredibly alarming. Put it in your dagger. They freak me out."

"Aye aye, captain!" I put the jars into my dagger. I don't remember how I got them, but I do feel like they're related to tentacles. I'll put them right next to my masks. I have seven now. 

"So I didn't actually read the quests, but I picked the lowest-ranked one."

"Shouldn't we be going to save the others?"

"We have no idea where they are, and even if we did, we have no money or supplies for a trip to go save them."

"That makes sense."

"Also, I want to make the most of our time without them."

"Aww… you wanted to be alone with me."

"No, I just don't like hanging out with large groups. The Hero's Party was only four of us, and that was annoying. Then again, they did fuck every two days. Basically, I quite like the fact that the group is currently not altogether, granted we didn't choose to be split up. Although if I had to pick anyone to be stuck with out of all of us, I'd end up picking you."

"Just say you love me."

"I will kill you."

"If you were wearing villager clothing, I'd believe you."

"I have no idea what you mean by that. Now, I'm going to read the first quest." She looked at the top paper and read out what was written. "There's someone illegally growing grass…. Really? This is a quest?"

"What a fiend."

"Haa… let's just get this over and done with. Anything you want to do before we approach this 'evil below all evil'?"

"Breakfast date."

"You know what, fine."

---

We arrived at the house of the mayor who was having grass trouble. He's noted for being a paranoid fellow, always blaming any major and minor problem in Davidstown on Sacred Power holders. He's usually right, though. I haven't heard of a Sacred Power that can grow grass, though… actually I have. That little girl with Florakinesis. I never went back to ask about her and the princess, did I?

"Oh yeah, the incident at Fort Lorparrel. There's no way it's the same person."

"You never know, Mel."

"I think it's more likely a grass person than a recurring character. It's more likely to be the mayor. Hell, I think it's more likely to be a cat!"

"That's silly but funny. Also, what's a recurring character?"

"No idea. So who's talking to the mayor, and who will look around for the culprit?"

"I would like to play hide and seek."

"Okay, and I'll greet the mayor. Maybe he'll offer me a sandwich. Have fun, Madeleine."

"Aye aye, captain!" And inside Mel went. 

Okay, the target today is a person illegally growing grass across the neighbourhood. It seems whenever a house that was already hit by this grass fiend mows their lawn, they'll find the grass grown again, and since the mayor's house has already been victimised, we'll use it as bait. Time to start the cutting. Luckily, I snuck the Ring of Lurking Darkness out of Mel's arrow, so I know what I'm doing today. I raised my fist with the ring worn, letting a torrent of dark energy from the ring go through my body and into my very shadow, creating the ultimate grass cutting machine! The Shadow Cow of Gluttonous Darkness! HAHAHA!!! TREMBLE BEFORE MY MIGHT, FEEBLE GRASS!!!

…

…

This is taking forever. I'm summoning more shadow cows. Eventually, Mel's talk finished, and she came and sat beside me.

"Shadow cows. Really?"

"Nature's grass cutters."

"It would've been quicker if you used your infinite daggers."

"That's not as cool as shadow cows."

"That's true, but coolness doesn't matter."

"Well, my job, my method."

"Whatever. Can you take out the sandwiches? The mayor made bad sandwiches."

"Sure." I grabbed into my dagger, grabbing out a sandwich on a dagger. I feel like I've made this joke already. Oh well.

"Thanks." She took a bite out of the sandwich. "So… I guess we're just going to sit here until the culprit comes."

"I guess."

"Huh…" She continued eating her sandwich. "This sucks."

"I know."

We spent a few hours sitting there, watching the shadow cows do their work. Occasionally I'd create other things with the ring, like shadow horses, shadow rabbits, and shadow foxes. They looked really cool. I gave the ring to Mel to try out, but it turns out it was pretty tricky for her to control the darkness. I guess I have a natural affinity for it. Eventually, the culprit arrived. It was a cat. At first, Mel was fawning over how cute it was, petting and rubbing it all over, then when she let it go, the first thing it did was walk over to the short grass and grew it somehow. That's when I grabbed it, turning its face towards me to stare into the eyes of a thing so evil that it would commit the grave sin of growing grass on someone else's property when the familiar blue screen appeared.

Grass Grows You can grow grass. Side Note: Birds fly, sun shines, and brother.

We handed the culprit over to the mayor and went back to the inn. 

---

Character profile: William S. Cout

Sacred power: Grass Grows

Favourite thought: "I hurt people."

Description: The despicable grass grower. William, just like many Sacred Power holders that are cats, have this twisted desire to inconvenience the denizens of the towns they live in. William achieves this by growing the grass of people's lawn, forcing them to constantly mow them. Sometimes William will feel extra sadistic, and choose to grow the grass to unbelievable heights, but most times he'll slowly grow the grass, bit by bit, over a course of a few weeks. His routine contains five hours of grass growing each day, with the rest of his routine containing bouts of either eating or sleeping. After being caught, he became the pet of the mayor, who he would inconvenience by growing grass in terrible places, like his pillows, his carpet, or if he feels really evil, his food.

Chapter namesake: Green Green Grass of Home by Tom Jones