"BOOM BABY BOOM!!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

Hey there, it's me, Physical Madeleine, in the flesh. I kind of like the sound of calling myself Physical Madeleine. It's apparently what the Shadow Maids call me. How did I find that out? I can read their minds, obviously. Just kidding, Mammy told me. Anyways, ri-

"KABLOOEY!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Right now, a bunch of things are exploding. Where am I? I think this is a mine. I don't know what a normal mine is since the only mines I've ever seen are the ones in Hamblin. You know, the ones where you have to rope down the edge of the world and hope you just happen to be on a route towards a built or natural tunnel and not the possibly endless abyss you're flimsily hanging over. I kne-

"BEGONE RUBBLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

I knew a maid who tried to get rich quickly by going to the mines. They accidentally slipped and ended up falling to their doom… or at least I think they fell to their doom. It might be endless, it might not be endless. No one knows for sure. Apparently, there was a scientist who wanted to know, so he jumped off the edge with a device that calculates how long a fall takes. What a dumba-

"EXPLODIO CLAUDIO AT YOUR SERVICE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

What a dumbass. I don't mean the screaming guy. I meant the scientist. As for the screaming guy, well, he's my target. Target for assassination.

"ALL ASSASSINS WILL EXPLODE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Why did you have to make him think we're assassins, Madeleine?"

"Because I thought it'd be funny."

"Well, now he's throwing exploding rocks at us!"

Mel is currently shooting the rocks he throws at us with her arrows. She used to use light magic to make arrows, but ever since we went to get her a new bow and arrow, she's been using the physical arrows more. Oh, Christie, your weapons truly are top-notch. I'm not slacking either, by the way. I'm throwing daggers whenever the man decides to throw two rocks.

"DEATH TO THOSE WHO OPPOSE THE WAY OF THE BOOM BOOM!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"Why are his laughs getting longer?"

"No idea. Maybe he likes laughing."

"Can you just knock him out with a shadow clone, Madeleine?"

"I could. He's amusing, though. What do you think he'll say next?"

"I don't know, nor do I want to know. Just do it."

"Do I get a reward? Can I get a new tea cup? Actually, no, I want a kiss… ah, but a new tea cup… let me think about it for a while, Mel."

"I'll take you out on a date."

"Shadow Norika, rise!" I tapped my shadow with my foot, making a shadow clone of the tiny maid rise out of it. The clone did a little curtsy, then casually walked towards the man.

"Is that clone going to slowly walk towards the man and knock him out?"

"Probably."

"Won't it be seen?"

"Nah, she has Stealth. It's a bit busted, in my opinion. I'm glad I get to abuse it."

"Wait… I don't see her anymore. How'd she do that?"

"No idea."

"BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! I'LL KILL YOU IN MY ROO- ARGH!!!" The man suddenly flew up into the air before slamming onto the ground with a big thud. The shadow clone of the tiny maid had done a beautiful jumping uppercut, sending the man up and down an elegant curve.

"Huh… so, you going to look into the guy's eyes?"

"What? Why?"

"He's clearly a Sacred Power holder."

"Good point… hmm… I don't feel like it."

"What about your goal?"

"Oh yeah… how come you remember it?"

"Umm… no reason. It's not like I expected to be with you on your whole journey and thus decided to remember the main plot."

"You're lucky I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot."

"You're lucky I'm sometimes an idiot."

"Yes. Yes, I am. Now hurry up and look into his eyes, then we'll go on that small date, then I'll get to go to sleep."

"Aye aye, captain!" I ordered the shadow tiny maid to look into the eyes of the man.

Thinking about these screens, something weird happened the other day. I was just minding my own business, attempting to trip up Speedy, when suddenly one of these screens appeared. Something about Body Swap. I'm guessing it was one of the Shadow Maids, but man, that sure is cool. I don't know what else to say.

"Those shadow clones of yours are surely convenient."

"Yeah. So about that date?"

"I know, I know. I'm a bit hungry, so I could go for some dinner. Let's go to a tavern or something."

"Not one of those fancy restaurants?"

"Do you have the money?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you mean yeah? Why are you questioning it?"

"Well… I love questioning myself."

"Okay then… so do you have the gold or not?"

"I do. Merida pays me, the shadow clones steal gold every now and then, and the shadow maid Mammy owns has a personal vault in the Shadowrealm that I take from whenever I need to make a purchase."

"Oh, that explains why she was chasing you the other day."

"She was chasing me? I thought we were just playing tag."

"She held her dagger with killing intent."

"Well, how else are you supposed to hold a dagger? With healing intent?"

"You know what, shut up. Let's just go on that date. It'll beat arguing in this mine."

"What do we do about the exploding guy?"

"Put him in your Shadowrealm or something."

"Aye aye, captain!" And so I made the shadow tiny maid drag the man down into the shadows. "Let's go on that date!"

"You know, I can't help but feel like there's something at play here, but I can't figure out what."

"Maybe the Creator is secretly trying to get my hopes up only to crush it."

"Why would the Creator be interested in you?"

"No idea. Maybe my personality is attractive to the Creator."

"No way. The only people who are attracted to your personality are either twisted people like Merida or people who have spent too much time with you."

"Oh, I see." 

"Stop with that smirk. It annoys me."

"Okay, Mel."

Character profile: Claudio Explosivo

Sacred power: Bomb

Favourite thing to turn into a bomb: Oranges

Description: The explosive madman. Claudio grew up with a fascination with explosions. He was born in Golmi, the capital of inventors, and thus saw many explosions. His father was an inventor, and ended up seeing many of his failures comically explode in his face. The newest weapon created in Golmi was the hand grenade, which Claudio had the honour of seeing its beta tests. His fascination with explosives led to him studying the field of pyrotechnics, and it soon became an obsession. His obsession grew big enough that the world noticed this, granting him the Bomb Sacred Power. Now he blows shit up with a smile on his face.

Chapter namesake: Explosivo by Tenacious D (You know, the band with Jack Black in it)

pojlk

I forgot to mention it last chapter, but I've started writing the Side Story. Thinking about it, I should've known "Love, Love, Love" would've won. Oh well, I'm not one for foresight. If I was, this story would have better foreshadowing. Anyways, I've started writing it, and I've been mulling over if I should release it in a series for just the side stories or post it on Side Note. I'll probably decide it through a coin flip. I like coin flips.