I'm Shadow Madeleine #9, and I'm currently at a birthday party where only serial killers were invited. Who knew the serial killer community in Sacre Pla was tight-knitted? The only notable name I don't see is the Paintist, but according to the Shadow Madeleine Mind Network (Or as it is colloquially known, the Shadow Mind), Physical Madeleine beat the shit out of him. 

So why am I at a birthday party that only has serial killers? Well, like most of the sentient Shadow Madeleines, I have a lover as well, and she just so happens to be a detective. It's great when I accidentally get involved with a murder plot but very inconvenient when she needs someone to sneak into a place she can't get into. This place is really depressing, though. So dark and damp, if I weren't a shadow, I would've thought this darkness was oppressive.

Now, it's usually incredibly difficult and risky to get into a birthday party filled to the brim with serial killers, but it turns out all that hardship and danger is nullified when you're made out of shadows and can just sit in a random serial killer's shadow. I'm honestly tempted to just jump out and fight them all. You know what, I'll do just that.

I jumped out of the shadow of the man I was in and immediately swept his leg, making him fall to the ground, his head banging against the floor, knocking him out. I surveyed the room and assessed the situation. There are only seven serial killers (excluding the guy I just knocked out). Six of them were alarmed by the sudden thud of their friend. Meanwhile, the birthday girl just sits at the table that has her cake on it, not reacting whatsoever. 

I'm pretty sure I'm safe from murder since I'm a shadow, which means I get to experiment and show off. I stomp my foot onto my shadow, but instead of hitting the ground, it goes right through into the Shadowrealm. The serial killers hesitate for a second, shocked at me knocking out their compatriot and the fact that it looks like I'm sinking into the ground, which is something normal people don't do, I think. A second is all I need as my leg emerges from a dark wall, right into the face of one of the killers, knocking him out. Two down, six to go. 

I sink my other leg into my shadow, basically making me do a fancy crouch, and watch as one of the killers dives over me. I punch up and combined with his momentum, he's sent flying up into the upper half of the wall behind me. Three down, five to go. 

I rise up then brandish a bunch of shadow daggers, prepared to throw them. The remaining killers seem vigilant, waiting for me to make the first strike. I guess they think they have a better chance of countering any attack I throw at them. Hmm… boring. Using Umbrakinesis, which Physical Madeleine has, I turn all the shadow daggers into an assortment of items, like shadow metal pipes, shadow birthday cakes, shadow Madeleine dolls in various poses, and much much more, then throw them down into the Shadowrealm.

The killers were all in a defensive pose, guarding against an attack they thought would be thrown at them, before letting their guards down upon realising nothing happened. One of the killers chooses to run at it, brandishing a comically large skewer, aiming for my neck, when his head is suddenly hit by a falling shadow metal pipe. Four down, four to go.

The other killers stand still, wondering where the metal pipe came from, when one of the killers near the back of the pack is suddenly pelted with shadow eggs and eventually a giant shadow chicken, incapacitating her. Five down, three to go.

The rest eventually figure out that the shadow items are falling from the roof, which is as dark as the rest of the room aside from the sole table in this room, lit up by a tiny candle atop a cake and a slightly larger lantern. The two killers that aren't the birthday girl eventually realise to stop this, they need to rid themselves of me, but it's too late. One of them is knocked out by a near endless shower of shadow spoons. Meanwhile, the other is knocked out by a good old-fashioned punch to the face. He didn't notice my approach since he was too busy being distracted by the falling lingerie. Ahh… such lovely chaos. Seven down, one to go.

The last killer, the birthday girl, stands up and applauds me. "What great entertainment, simply enjoyable. You may stop the shadow rain." I stomped my foot on the ground, causing items to stop falling out of the dark roof. "May I ask who sent you?"

Before I could attempt to convey that I couldn't speak, my girlfriend burst into the room. "It was me!"

The birthday girl gasped. "Sister?!"

"Your one and only."

"Why are you here? We already did our little celebration earlier."

"My shadow girlfriend here needs Sacred Power holders, and you're one I knew. That and I wanted to taste the cake made by a serial killer."

"Oh, I thought you were here to arrest me and send me back to jail."

"It hasn't been a day. How do you keep forgetting? Whatever, just do your thing, honey."

I gave my detective girlfriend a thumbs up and turned to her sister. A detective with a serial killer sister. Hmm… as a Madeleine, I feel compelled to seduce her sister as well. I can do it later. I looked into the eyes of the birthday girl, which were illuminated by the candle.

"That concludes today's episode of 'Shadow Clones (Gone Wild) (Not Clickbait) (Holy Shit, What's The Plot Again?)'. Tune in next time where you'll get a proper perspective on the actual events of the date instead of it being replaced by the adventures of some random clones who all seem to be oddly proficient in getting pussy."

"What the fuck are you saying, Myka?"

"Whatever the fuck I want, I need to make the most out of the limited screen time I get. If I knew I would get more screen time as an antagonist, I would not have complained about it. Now hurry up and drink this water, then go to sleep. You're annoying when you're drunk, Melina."

"Haha… okay, hot bunny girl… I love your tits."

"Fucking hell. I'd take Cookie over drunk you."

Character profile: Nali Flowers

Sacred power: Nail Biter

Job: Manicurist

Description: The serial killer with a detective as a sister. Nali, alongside her sister Shay, grew up on the streets. As a way to provide for the both of them, Nali chose to take assassination jobs where the targets were people in the slums. She ended up enjoying killing a bit too much, and started just killing for the sake of killing, rather than for money. The bodies constantly being found around the slums awoke the sleuth inside of Shay, who would attempt to solve all the murders. Murder is common in the slums, so Shay was able to solve most murders, but there was always a case she couldn't figure out that followed the same pattern as a bunch she still had yet to figure out. Eventually she figured out her sister was the culprit, and thus began a cat-and-mouse game between the two. Despite their current relationship, they still get together to celebrate each other's birthdays.

Chapter namesake: The alternative rock band 'The Killers'