"So this is an egg you laid."

"Yes."

"How did you lay an egg?"

"Well, there was probably a rule that said I can't lay an egg, so I decided to break it."

"Honey, we don't have enough room in the house for more products of your breaking of reality."

"I'm going to call it the Cosmic Egg! It shall bring life to the newest goddess on the block! The Goddess of Eggs!"

"And she's ignoring me. Great. I'll empty out a room for the egg… I wonder what we should name it."

Oh hey there, I didn't notice you sneaking up on me. Just kidding, I knew all along. A perk of breaking the rules of logic, narrative, and some other things is that you become aware of so much you could consider me nigh-omniscient. Not truly omniscient. Even a rule breaker like me isn't stupid enough to do that… okay, I was. I just snapped out of it. 

Huh? You have no idea who I am? It's me, the triple three, the threenatic, the shadow clone obsessed with the letter 3. It's me, it's me, it's Darky. Or #333. Whichever floats your boat. I've decided to take centre stage because I laid an egg. I was going to reference that one time Kakyoin laid an egg, but it was really difficult to explain it to Rebel. I even showed her the book and everything, and she still didn't get it!

Anywho, that's enough of that bit. Since Rebel is going to be busy emptying out a room for my precious egg, I might as well do something unproductive. Usually, it'd be something like having a lovely day with Rebel, destroying a random prison in Mendass, or editing my spreadsheet on the Shadow Clones (I have so much dirt on each of them), but I think today I'll do something a bit more exciting, just for you guys.

I was thinking of kidnapping Mendass' Santa Claus. He… she… I actually have no idea, all I know is that they're this world's Santa Claus. Now, why am I kidnapping them? For the content, obviously. There needs to be filler before the next arc, mini-arc, whatever the fuck they are. Spoiler alert, I read ahead (There's a rule that says fictional characters can't read the story they're in, and also a rule that says you can't truly look into the future. Obviously, I broke both of them.), and there's going to be like six chapters in the Zombielands. I hate zombies, so I was bored while reading it. 

By the way, while I was giving you guys my thoughts, I had magically teleported into the house of Mendass' Santa Claus. Their name is Kris Cholas. Hah! Suck it character profile! I got to say the name before you! In fact, I might mess around with it later… maybe. By the way, Kris comes from Kris Kringle, and Cholas comes from Saint Nicholas. I'm a smart cookie, unlike Cookie. Speaking of Cookie, I should visit her at some point to let her speak. She's the only shadow clone I'd be willing to do that for since it'd be funny. She's at the bottom of the pecking order, after all.

Oh yeah, Kris. Now that I see them in person, it's clearly a woman. Hot female Santa… if I were unfaithful, I'd tap that. Long flowing black jacket, white shirt and… holy shit, she has jeans! I don't think denim even exists in Mendass! Then again, transmigration. You'd think with the amount of Otherworlders Mendass has, one of them would be the main character, but nope, it's just one of the many insane maids. Granted, Madeleine is special… so fucking special. Maybe I should kill Leviathan and take that overgrown sea lizard's Demon Lord of Envy title.

Back to Kris, back to Kris. Umm… hair, eyes, fingers… honestly, I'm just trying to describe her physique because I have no idea how to pad for runtime like our oh-so-special Madeleine does. I mean, I could have a conversation with her, dialogue is a good way to fill up space, but the problem is I don't want to talk to her. Kris looks like the kind of person who'd scold the person who destroyed the world, lecture them on why it's terrible, and somehow convert them. Like actual Santa Claus. I bet you old Saint Nick could do that. Well, that and I've put a gag on her. Kind of hot, I'll admit. She's also tied up. I did say I was going to kidnap her. Now, before I blindfold her and bring her to my home, where she'll join the theoretical sitcom I've put Rebel and me into, I'll contribute to the plot and look into her eyes. She has 'Gift', which contributes to the fact that she's Mendass' favourite Coca-Cola mascot. Ooh… what a pretty pair of ruby eyes. It must be a transmigrator thing.

See, even the Side Note recognises this is basically the power of Santa! Man… if only this chapter were released during Christmas. Do you think Christmas exists in Mendass? I'm only asking since Rebel has no idea about Mendass holidays, and I also know nothing. Speaking of Rebel, I'm back home, and she's opened the front door for me.

"Who the hell is on your shoulder?"

"Mendass' Santa Claus."

"Look, honey, just because we can get away with kidnappings doesn't mean you have to do them. After that dragon orphan, Veera's Royal Jester, and Tsukuyomi refused to go back after you kidnapped them, we have no more room in the house."

"I could always make more room."

"And break more of the spacetime continuum? I thought you'd stop it after that talk Evelyn had with you."

"I don't care what Evelyn says. What she says is boring."

"Haa… you can keep her for two days, but once the two days are over, I'm asking her if she wants to return home."

"Yippee! Love ya, Rebbie."

"I still hate that nickname."

Character profile: Kris Cholas

Sacred power: Gift

Favourite soft drink: Vanilla Coke

Description: I said I'd mess around with this character profile, so I shall. In fact, maybe I'll do some lore dumping. Lore! I love lore! Especially when it's Kirby lore. I got invested in Kirby lore when I went to visit Medya. She's basically the niece of all the shadow clones. Enough about that copyrighted stuff, though, onto the Side Note lore. Ooh, title drop… god I hope I don't end up getting killed off due to being seen as obnoxious. Anyways, the person who writes the Character profiles in-universe is this guy named the Observer. Guess what, he observes. It's his diary. Oh, but I have messed around with some of the character profiles, like Madeleine's. Spoiler alerts, you know. Huh? How did I mess with it when it happened before I even existed? Rule-breaking, obviously. Poor spacetime continuum.

Chapter namesake: Cosmic Egg by Wolfmother (Look, it's my reference band! I'm even breaking into the author's territory! Hahaha!)