"What's your opinion on noir? Like the colour? Hate the mystery? Really dig the sultry female love interest for the detective?"

"I don't read many detective stories. I don't have the brain cells to wrap my head around it."

"A shame. I was hoping to go for a jazzy, noir feel this time around. I guess we're sticking with the zombie theme. Speaking of zombies, there's one behind you."

"No, there isn't."

"Yeah, there sure isn't one. So, recognise this house?" Myka and Melina were standing in front of a decrepit house that looked out of place in the Zombielands. While the houses in the Zombielands were made out of wood or straw, like those of rural villages scattered about in Mendass, the house they stood in front of was made of concrete, its slanted door giving off the idea it went underground, and the thick layer of moss showing off its age.

"Looks like a bunker. Whoever made this is really committing to the zombie theme."

"Either that or it isn't supposed to be here. Did you know there's an alien in Mendass?"

"What a careless mishmash of genres, really breaking my fantasy immersion."

"Pfft, as if you cared about immersion with Madeleine around."

"Fair point, fair point." Melina attempts to open the bunker door, but the handle won't budge. "So why are we here? Is this secretly important to the fate of the world? Some sort of artificial living weapon that could threaten the world? Secrets about the Otherworlder Association? Elves with the technological advantage and a bastard leader?"

"Damn, what cool ideas. Also overplayed. Cool in my eyes, though. Well, there's nothing world-threatening in there since Mendass is already overflowing with those. It's just a random bunker from a random, abandoned world. Nothing special about it."

"Oh… and you got my adventurer blood pumping, what a terrible date."

"So, ready for a new reason?"

"Sure, hit me with it."

"I'll do just that!" With the snap of a finger, Myka summons a textbox with a wooden handle connected to it and lightly taps it on Melina's head.

"Really? Seriously?"

"You want to read it, or you want me to monologue it evilly?"

"I don't feel like reading, so the next option, please."

"Aww, how polite. Love ya, Mel."

"Fuck you."

"Now listen closely since this is the logical reason. If the emotional reason was that I wanted to kiss you under the moon on top of a mountain of zombie corpses, then the logical reason is by process of elimination."

"Wow, such a lovely thing to say to your supposed date."

"I had five options: you, Madeleine, Mel, Merry, or Mimi. Now, let's break it down one by one. I didn't choose Merry since I'm incredibly racist against beastmen, obviously. Understandable?"

"No, not really."

"A while back, in my introductory arc, I think I joked about being racist… I'm pretty sure I did. This is basically me continuing that bit."

"Aren't you a beastmen?"

"That's what makes it acceptable. Or ironic. Or stupid. It's multiple choice." Myka slaps Melina for no reason.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"I felt like it. Now, Mimi wasn't chosen for the same reason as Merry, but also because she's basically in a coma. I mean, come on, I made it so she can only say nya. Can you imagine the back and forth? It'd be completely shit. So bad, you'd rather see the Madeleine-Mila dynamic instead."

"Who the hell is Mila?"

"Did you not meet her after Side Character split? She should be in Bellum right now, having dealt with some war shit. You want to bet on whether she got together with her assigned shadow clone or not?"

"No, not really. I'd rather be back with the group, cuddled under the table, not dealing with whatever bullshit this is. Isn't this the kind of thing you're supposed to force onto Madeleine? She's the main character, right? I've seen how the world favours her."

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there. So I can't pick Mel cause that's some NTR shit."

"Of course, you would fucking know."

"Lastly, I can't pick Madeleine because I've done this rodeo before with her."
"And not because it'd be a terrible thing to do to Mel?"

"Nope. I'd be willing to make love to Madeleine regardless of her marital status. Did you know it's been established that Madeleine could be a casanova if she felt like it?"

"No, I didn't. Look, I'm privy to the whole fictional thing, but I'm not on the extreme side of fourth wall breakage like you are. I'm not reading this shit, I'm living it."

"Fair enough." Myka shrugs. "But there you have it. I didn't want the other four; you're also the best option. Now, I'm going to do a funny."

"Funny?"

"Teleport a zombie to Madeleine's location."

"You're terrible. Do it."

"Oh, I will." Myka snaps her fingers, and a zombie somewhere in the Zombielands disappears.

---

Meanwhile, in a random love hotel

"How the fuck did you get on the roof?!"

"I am the roof monkey! This is my territory!"

"We've been here for fucking hours, Madeleine!!! How have we not had sex once?! We're in a fucking love hotel!!!"

"Eh? Is that what love hotels are for? So why is there a swing?"

"I have no idea, honestly."

"By the way Mel, there's a zombie on the swing."

"No, there isn't… wait, yes, there is. Where's my bow?!"

"Just use magic!"

"How about you use magic?!"

"Nah… by the way, when you kill it, throw its eyes at me."

"Fine, fine."

"I've always wanted to taste zombie eyeballs."

"Disgusting, and I guess I'll just uppercut its head off. Ready… HYAH!!!"

"I've caught the head! What… disgusting eyes, I'm not eating it."

Move You can move things. Side Note: We like to move it move it.

"It even came with a Side Note!"

"Oh… cool. Now, can you get off the roof?"
"No!"

"Madeleine!"

---

Character profile: Fluss

Sacred power: Move

Favourite genre: Romance

Description: An author who travelled the entirety of Mendass in search of the perfect story. They eventually found themselves in the Zombielands, hoping its oppressive atmosphere and constant state of danger would allow them to create a piece of horror literature. Unfortunately, they lost their life, becoming yet another tally mark of lost wanderers to go to the Zombielands. They primarily used their Sacred Power to write multiple stories simultaneously, moving pens accordingly. Although they knew the combat potential of their Sacred Power, they chose not to explore it. 

Chapter namesake: Wonderful Dead 002 by Masafumi Takada for Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls