It is said that not even the Creator has beaten the Headmistress of the Maid School in a fight. I'm willing to believe that since, no offence to Mom, but the Headmistress seems incredibly overwhelming. I wonder if Sherry could beat her? Probably, but that's a question for a different day. Simply put… how the hell am I supposed to make it to the next floor? How do I beat the Headmistress? I'll figure something out.

For now, I am lying down on a bed. Why am I lying down on a bed? I was forced to. It is not my bedtime, and I do not want to have pleasant dreams. I am a big girl, and I'll stay up as late as I want! Oh… the Headmistress is glaring at me, going back to closing my eyes.

Huh? Why is the Headmistress in the same room I'm trying to sleep in? Before we were about to fight, she suddenly grabbed my hand, dragged me into this side room, saying she wanted my full strength, and plopped me on the bed. You know, if it weren't for the fact that I almost saw her kill my girlfriend and the fact she's just itching to kill me or have me kill her right now, I would've thought she was incredibly caring. Well, I can't complain. I'm true to my desires as well. It's just that my desire is to yell out random things.

Not like I can do anything, so sleep it is. Night night.

Funny story, I'm awake now, but also in the sky. So high up in the sky that I can't see the ground. The ground is so far from view that I think I'm closer to the clouds… except those aren't real clouds, I'm inside a pyramid. Why am I in the air? Because the fight has already begun. In fact, I'm standing on the falling bed in a combat stance as we speak, waiting for the Headmistress' flank. 

She threw my bed up for a reason, and I will treat it as the threat it is. She probably plans to jump up and kick me off the bed, creating a scenario where I can't use magic, which is admittedly my most potent combat option. I've also summoned Ava, Light, #1 (She still hasn't given me her name because every time I ask, she blushes), Ardio, Kyrie, and… Cookie. Look, she's one of the stronger Shadow Clones, okay? I can't even use Deja since she's holding down Rio, I still haven't gotten Darky, and all the others are either not sentient or have spent too much time fooling around and got rusty.

Well, I've got all my bases covered, so the Headmistress shouldn't be able to attack me without me being alerted. I've got eyes north, south, west, east, and even up, although I doubt she'll… where the fuck is my bed?

"She punched through it from below, mother." I looked at Cookie with a questioning look, only to be answered with a shrug. From below… woah. I looked around the sky, seeing what little remains of my bed there were and the other Shadow Clones, who were gracefully falling. Yet, nowhere could I see the Headmistress…  "Ava! You have wings! Scout about! Everyone else, just try not to die when we land!"

Ava created her demon wings (I wonder, can the rest of us do that?) and zoomed off, looking for our opponent. The rest of us, though, are preparing for impact. I'm fine since I've got the amulet, but I have no idea what the others are going to… I think I just saw Ava fly past me. That's no-

I was suddenly pushed out of the way by Cookie, who was sent speeding downwards alongside Light, who I remember was behind me. I turned around and saw the Headmistress, who was somehow moving around the air, as if she was jumping off it. Never mind, that's exactly what she's doing… one by one, she jumped towards the Shadow Clones, kicking them at me. I managed to dodge the first two and narrowly avoided the third, which caused me to spin slightly.

However, a little spin was all it took to gain a disadvantage since the Headmistress immediately dashed towards me, giving me the most graceful and painful-looking kick I've ever seen. I only managed to not take damage by summoning a Shadow Clone in front of me to take the blow instead. It made my one-way trip to the floor much faster, though.

The Headmistress has given me an idea of how to deal with this, by the way. If she can step on air, what's stopping me from stomping on the air to activate my magic? Why haven't I thought of this before? I tap the air and miraculously trigger my magic, creating wings of light and darkness that stop my momentum just before I hit the ground. I gently let myself down, only to hear a giant explosion behind me.

I turned around, finding a giant dust cloud in the middle of an even bigger crater… that's where the Headmistress landed, huh? I stomped my foot, covering the hole with my Eternal Ice. There's no way the Headmistress has the stupid amount of strength Wulfric had, so this should… and the ground is shaking now. 

I stomped again, covering the ground I was standing on with Eternal Ice and surrounding myself with Shadow Clones. A moment later, I heard a thud from below, confirming my suspicions. She was punching through the ground and was now below me. 

"Shadow Clones, tunnel downwards!" At my call, the Shadow Clones summoned dark halberds that they turned into shovels and started digging downwards towards the Headmistress. I need a quick plan to beat her… but what can I even use? Before I ponder, I'll need to distract her, though.

I tapped the ground and turned my surroundings into that of the Shadowrealm. With this up, an endless stream of Shadow Clones should get up and enter the whole, prolonging her approach towards me. Okay, time to analyse my belongings now.

I have an endless amount of daggers, an amulet that lets me float, a ring that allows me to… oh yeah, mom gave me an upgrade. How did I forget about that? I summoned the dark halberd within the ring, and as soon as I touched it, a familiar blue screen came out.

I heard a burst from the hole the Shadow Clones made and saw a litter of unconscious Shadow Clones around the Headmistress, who managed to get out of the hole. Well… considering what my dark halberd's Sacred Power and Side Note said, here goes nothing. 

I turned the halberd into a dagger and utilised the most basic skill any graduate of the Maid School has: A simple dagger throw. I aimed right at the Headmistress' head and saw it fly right at it. She smirked, punching the dagger, only for it to phase through her hand and land right between her eyes, much to her surprise.

…

Huh. I… did it. Kind of cheap victory, but… cheap is the name of the game in Mendass, I gue… what the actual fuck?!?! She's getting back up!!! I thought she died?! She's heading right to me… oh shit, oh fuck… what? She just put the dagger into my hands and started nodding pridefully. She's also making eye contact now.

That explains it. Thanks a lot, mom. And now there's a maid headpiece in my other hand… am I going to the next floor? Oh well.

"God, it's about fucking time you got here, mom. Myka, like the fucking prick she is, somehow made it so that I could only help you once through some weird ruling shenanigans. You better rejoice, though, since everyone's favourite Shadow Clone is finally back in the party! We'll probably win from now on, unless our next fight is against the Man In The Pinstripe Suit or Myka herself… or even worse, both! Not like that'd happen, though. Oh yeah, before I forget, can we hurry this whole thing up? I may have gotten my girlfriend pregnant while waiting for you."

Item Profile: Kyrie's Dark Halberd
Sacred Power: Anti-Maid
Blessed By: Mara Rose, Goddess of Darkness and Avatar of the Goddess of Divinity
Description: The weapon Madeleine got from Sherry at the start of her Pyramid Gauntlet, which was created and wielded by Kyrie the Gladiator, the Shadow Clone that found herself inside the Slave Gladiator Arena. The weapon was blessed by Mara Rose, most well-known within Mendass as the Creator, as well as the mother of Madeleine alongside Moira Vusser. 

Character Profile: Moira Vusser
Sacred Power: Maid
Title: The Maid
Description: Moira Vusser was born the daughter of Duke Vusser of the Kingdom Faren and his third concubine, former Viscount Haley Mushter. Despite her noble blood, she was forced into the maid corps of her household, trained as a maid and even treated as such, being told she was the child of one of Duke Vusser's maids. During her time as a maid, the Faren Kingdom would fall prey to Bellum's militaristic regime, with the death of nearly everyone Moira held dear happening during this. From that day, Moira swore to grow stronger and went on to train in many fields while still dressed in the maid clothes she had on that fateful night. She sought out many to be her teacher in many things, including notable figures like the Father of the Ancient Dragons Genekaiser, the Tyrannical Seer Merida Sicht, and even the Creator to become the strongest. A being only a Deus Ex Machina would beat.

Chapter namesake: Matricide by Ridiculon for The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

pojlk

Oh my god guys, it's the namesake of the novel, Side Notes! Man... I definitely did not forget those existed.

On a side note (I love saying this), did you know I make up the Character Profiles after I write the chapter? Incredibly irresponsible, I know, but that's the Side Note vibe, I tell you. I will say that Moira was always planned to have Maid, since that's legitimately one of the 1,000 Sacred Powers I have written down.