Sir Andy

“Mary? Do you think you are a bit too old for that?” Our mother referred to the teenager in a little girl's dress.

I watched my big sis -- that was Mary -- look down at me with a smile and my rosy cheeked face smiled right back up at her. Then as a response to our mother, we smooshed our cheeks together to make a bigger smile. “Nope! It's Halloween and we can be as silly as we want.”

Our mother shook her head as she added: “And what is Ann wearing?”

My big sis laughed as she gave me a great big hug! “She's being my male chaperone tonight. Isn't that right, Sir Andy?” Before I could respond, my sis placed her hand on my short red head of hair and nudged my head down to yield an agreeable nod of confirmation for our amused mother to witness.

As I always do around my big sis, I simply kept quietly smiling.

...It felt weird, though. That was, the costume felt unnatural.

The knightly outfit my sis bought for me was made of a soft and thick fabric: a steel-grey outfit. But I could feel a weight to it.

A warm, welcome comfort.

A newborn purpose.

A responsibility.

And I couldn't complain: she had said it was special ordered specifically for my size. It was different, and I enjoyed mixing things up. Especially compared to the last few years of Trick-or-Treating.

The armor appeared brilliant on me. Absolutely every single moment, I believed more that the knightly getup was becoming hardened steel!

Ridiculous, but... I felt a lot less soft and squishy. Now I was... formidable? My big sis made a big deal about me being her protector tonight. And that had blossomed remarkably stalwart senses in me the likes of which I'd never experienced in my life!

For the sake of my new sense of pride, I kept my waterworks in check and remained smiling as always.

For my big sis tonight, my life would soar to any heights to be what she wished me to be.

For a profound honor that my big sis forged into my heart, I would always be there for her!

I honestly felt as if I was a knight in shining armor! Even the little blade buckled at my hip had a certain weight of responsibility -- my sword was only for my big sis.

With my new sense of standards, my sword being drawn for any cause other than in defense of Mary would be a petty excuse for bravado.

“Okay, you two.” Mom shook her head again as she looked us over in disbelief. “Be sure to be back no later than ten.” As we turned to leave, Mom yelled at us: “And don't go down any strange streets. Also none without more than one porchlight on.”

That last rule struck a chord in us. “But Mom, it's already late as is. If we cut --”

“No buts or cuts, or I'll smack you one across your butt.” When I heard that, my cheeks turned a brighter red! My big sis getting spanked wasn't a common occurrence at all. “Do I make myself clear? Porch lights-s. More than one light on, and walk with a crowd.”

“Mom, I'm not alone. See?” Mary grabbed my sword... okay, to be honest, it was actually a letter opener. Anyways -- sis grabbed it and my hand to force me to do a strikingly gallant gesture of dignified fealty with the magnificently gleaming blade. “Sir Andy will protect me with his legendary Opener.”

“And who's going to protect Sir Andy tonight?” In response to mom, Mary rapped her knuckles on my fitted 'breastplate' of steel-grey fabric. “Oh, whatever! Seriously... be careful.”

“We will, Mom! Happy Halloween!” Mom waved at us as we went out into the night...

Mary didn't listen...

I remembered it clearly, and forever would. We were finished down one block with a bag half full and saw the lit porches on the other -- but we would have to walk through a dark corner before we reached it.

It would've been our last line of houses! When we would finish there, we'd head back. Mary had promised and I would ensure that she kept that promise.

I failed my duty. 

We heard a conversation, which we thought meant there were people nearby. We thought we were safe in a crowd!

We didn't know it was a prowler listening to a talk show from inside a van!

Once we began to walk alongside its dark and bulky silhouette, we realized what we were hearing --

-- and the trap was sprung before we could ever react! The side door slid open so fast that we froze with fright!

He pulled us in and slammed the door shut. A very big and dark outline of a man hovered over us and clapped so loudly to get our attention that we submitted by fearful instinct. He brought his chubby finger up to his lips to shush us before wedging himself back into the front seat and driving us off into the long night...

We had driven a far way out and for far too long. Mary was crying by the time we felt the van jerk and throw us against the back of the driver's seat. I was too frightened to say or do anything.

But not my big sis!

The driver had huffed and parked the van before he squeezed back to where we huddled together. His great expanse loomed dangerously over us, as if we would be crushed at any moment... but I couldn't be certain if it would be his weight or body odor that did us in first.

The bullish shape of his head came down to level with us. “That's funny. I'd thought you were bigger when I saw you walk up to my humble abode.” He laughed hard and loud before he made a statement: “That's sweet! Nice and small are just the way I like my little girls.”

“Let us go!” Mary's voice squeaked. At first, I thought it was because she was frightened, but no... she was smaller, younger.

My big sis was a little girl!

She tried to fight him... I felt so horrible, not knowing how to fulfill my new role as he grabbed my sister and tossed her around like she was nothing!

When he reached for her, she kicked out at him in a last ditch effort --

-- and he grabbed her leg to savagely bite her!

To have bitten my big sis, he was nothing but a rabid animal!

And there I was, petrified in my protective steel cage! Not worth worrying about to the bestial man...

In the eyes of that feral predator, I was a scared, rosy-cheeked, little boy in a tin can.

We were subdued, but not before Mary reached out and we hugged each other closely. I felt such deep shame as I watched him tape my big sister's mouth shut just inches above my yarn-thick red hair.

Again he picked us up like we were insubstantial, without care how or where he recklessly carried us, and used his monstrous bulk to force the van's side door popped open. And again with the fenced gate. And again with his broken front door.

He grunted with a fetid air of satisfaction as he carried us into his filthy den. The horrid condition inside our captor's home reflected the image we had of the depraved Beast! We were set down and aside for a moment to be appraised, ogled.

The beast had eyes that were too close to each other. They were the kind that never hid what he laid his eyes on.

And he focused specifically on my now less developed big sister!

The grotesquely fat man had zip-tied Mary's ankles together to immobilize her, but she was also tied around the arms in a way to keep her hugged to me tightly. If she were to hop up and attempt an escape with my augmented weight of real armor, I would accidentally cause us to topple over.

...prone and exposed to the beast.

And it appeared that was how he preferred us. He threw us on his stained mattress and prepared for a most dishonorable night.

Before he sat down, his pants came off in an excited jiffy. The dark marks on his tight briefs...

The TV was already turned on, and he cranked the volume to the max.

And he reached out to us with a steamy look in his eyes --

-- but his attention was grabbed by the television's breaking news, replaying a piece of footage of crazy and bizzare creatures facing off against superheroes and magicians in the streets! What followed was the announcement of a widespread outbreak of transformations!

“Holy shit!” We were startled at his exclaimed curse. “No way... fuck me! Maybe I should put on my Superman costume and join in the fun? ” He removed his shirt and struck a disgustingly heroic pose in his underwear. What hair had abandoned his head had migrated all over his sagging flesh. “Nah, for the sin I'm about to commit, I should be Jesus and suggest you turn the other cheeky.” The deranged lunatic barked a note of laughter and turned his lecherous face toward us. “Cheeky. Get it?”

To provocatively hint what he meant, I saw him reach out at us --

-- and Mary screeched behind the tape as she jerked us both up to escape his perverted violation!

He removed his hand and stared at us from across the bed with a lewd smile. Then his face contorted in an ugly snarl as he viciously shouted: “That was supposed to be funny, you fucking bitch! Laugh!” He grabbed the unlit lamp from the TV stand and held it over his head.

He was going to throw it at us!

Despite the armor, Mary squeezed me so tightly that I squeaked! She was startled by the noise I made, but my face buried down on her shoulder. Carefully with her bound hands, she lifted my face from her shoulder to turned toward the light emitted from the TV to inspect me --

-- and I heard a crash met with a muffled scream!

My big sis had unintentionally shielded me! That wasn't supposed to happen!

I was her knight in shining armor...

Tears welled up in my eyes.

Within that instant, I was filled to the brim with a righteous fury!

“Enough fucking bullshit!” I heard his heavy weight on the squealing mattress springs and felt our unbalanced roll toward him as he pulled Mary over onto her back. I tried to glance behind me --

-- but I heard my big sis whimper. My attention had been drawn up to see Mary's eyes, which had grown wide with terror.

A massive shadow fell over us.

“When I tell you something, you obey. When it is funny, you laugh.” He had to be very close because I could smell his miasmic breath pouring over my shoulder. Then I felt his meaty hand on my shoulder. “What the fuck --”

Mary's muffled cries grew intense as I was pulled straight out of her tight embrace. Without me, my big sis was now entirely vulnerable...

He turned me around violently, shook and rattled me, and stared directly into my face with contemptuous distaste.

I was scared. But that was to be expected with my new role as protector. Courage overcame fear. And my big sister gave me what I required to be brave.

It wasn't because of my armor. Not my sword. Nor the fantastic wonder the magical night had gifted me.

There was someone very precious to me who was more exposed to danger than I was... and he'd hurt her!

In devotion to all the big sisters I always looked up to, I would become her sworn sword!

In a flash, I drew out the Opener and... well I created a contradiction and closed one of his eyes for good! He jerked back before I could do more than rupture the eyeball, however.

As he screamed bloody murder, I felt the rush of air and the impact of being thrown against the wall. I dropped to the floor and remained shockingly motionless.

In all my long years, I'd never felt pain before.

Not when Mary's great-grandmother had sewn a lock of hair from her lost sister into me. And to complete me, she'd embroidered me with her sister's likeness from an enchanted spool of thread. To be shared and loved as I once was when I had a heartbeat. To be handed down the line over the century.

Never as I gradually dried over the weeks after her grandmother's house flooded and I emerged soaked to the stuffing.

Nor when Mary's mother -- our mother -- had unintentionally cut my red-yarn hair at a too-young age to understand I couldn't grow it back.

As a cherished household icon, I was always proud to be the family's Raggedy Ann.

Tonight was the first time I'd ever felt a swell of pride; I couldn't feel more proud for serving my family as its protector.

The night was not over...

Mary looked at me in shock as I stood up and approached her. With the Opener, I cut the bonds around her ankles and freed my big sis's wrists when she knelt down for me to reach.

Meanwhile, that big tub of lard finally shouted a word of disbelief before he figured out the trouble he would be in when Mary escaped. I heard him charge us --

-- and luckily for us, I was in his stampeding path! I turned immediately around and braced myself for impact as I thrust and held the Opener out before me in both hands.

I would slay the foul beast before he ever laid a hand on my precious big sister ever again!

There was a blur of motion above me --

-- the large beast cursed as something crashed over his head as he fell forward face first --

-- and I lanced him fully in the other eye as he dropped.

The dreaded beast was dead.

I tugged at my sword, but I couldn't pull it out... I left it buried in the ugly man and turned to a more important matter, Mary.

She looked down at the dead predator with well placed vindication in her eyes and determination in her stance; she held the lamp up high and ready to fell the horrible beast again. Just in case we were wrong about his demise by our hands.

After a minute of Mary doing no more than holding the lamp high and readied for another head-bashing, we were feeling assured of our safety from the Beast's lack of activity. Not even so much as a twitch from him.

To impart that there was love and security to be had, I raised my arms for my big sis and smiled like I always had and would.

Her gaze shifted from the dead to the wondrous new boy in armor: me. It wasn't fear in her eyes, but disbelief in what she saw.

I kept my open arms raised in welcome, which had prompted a reaction from her to slowly lower the lamp. As she drifted her attention down to where she could set the lamp, her eyes popped open wider at the thin pair of arms she had. And the rest of her magically acquired youth.

“Ann...? Andy...? You're alive!” Mary sobbed.

“I was always alive,” I said, testing out my new voice. “But now I can move and talk.”

Trembling in shock, Mary dropped the lamp. I was frightened that I scared her, but then she slid down to her knees --

-- and when she embraced me, I added: “And hug you back.”

She bawled her eyes out as we held each other.

The terrible encounter was nearly over. Now all we had to do was leave it all behind us and continue on with our lives... and my new role as Sir “Raggedy” Andy.