I cringe when I think to those years in my former lives now.

My blood, my features, my aura and tears. Being beaten, being scared and frightened.

Then there was more, they found out how far they could go with wounding me, and still be able to live. They also ravaged my body, taking my innocence at the same time of sucking my blood.

The Mosquito King found that particular exercise to be extremely satisfying and forcibly raped me many times, just to satisfy his want to get the best tasting blood that he’s ever tasted.

I was his favorite, even before Juliet, but I was also hard to kill, so they did not stop Juliet from hurting me.

In fact, Juliet was the reason why I did not bare any of the children that I could have for the Mosquito King.

To a strange degree, I don’t know how I could have acted to the children that I could have had. They were forced upon, yet…I wanted someone to love and someone that would love me in return…Perhaps I might have thought that if I had a child, I would be treated better and that I could slowly get rid of the hate that had formed and grow to love the child…I don’t know…

It was sickening, yet heartbreaking…

Yet, I had only been three months pregnant, with the Mosquito King really happy to find out how a child of the phoenix would be like, when Juliet had forced the abortion and made it so that I could no longer have children.

…I still don’t know if it was a good or bad thing…But I do know that it didn’t travel beyond this life as I was able to bare children once again after being reborn…

That hate, yet tiny bit of hope, was dashed into nothing and even now I try not to think about it…As it wasn’t the first time it happened.

Now, I have a lot of hatred towards any other females that would be with the potential father of my future children…Not once, but twice, other females from the man who had forced a pregnancy onto me, had ended my future of baring anymore children for that life.

Perhaps it was better, yes, but to another degree, perhaps it was worse…I guess I’ll never find out because those two lives are obviously over…

 

The subject of my potential children was quite an emotional topic for me, and I didn’t know how to explain my feelings about it…So I will continue not to think about it.

The endless tests and the endless brutal assaults in my first life continued until my father came along, and that was the start of the end of my first life.

After my father had spoken to me, telling me of what I had done to my mother and a few other things, I felt like things had changed slightly then before.

I had started to believe wholeheartedly that I, or my creature, was cursed, but then I had started to think that I did actually deserve this type of existence because of what I had done to my mother…Yet, I still somewhat hated my creature…

And then my father had poisoned the Mosquito King…

I had then been summoned to heal him then, my master and the one that treated me harshly the most. But since I was no longer enslaved, I choose not to, even though I was threatened with a knife to my heart, by one of the King’s bodyguards.

I had wondered for quite some time why someone else had not just enslaved me and made me do it, but after a few years, I think I figured out why they hadn’t done that. I guess it was because the Mosquito King had demanded that no other was to enslave the phoenix…

Luckily though, I came to realize that if my master is severely hurt, I came to know that the connection can be broken!

Perhaps it was because there was not a future for him within the day or something, but the connection was broken before he had died and I hoped that this fact would help me in my second life, but it hadn’t…

 

Yes, back then, even with a knife to my throat I was a lot tougher then I had used to be, and no tears were forming at all for them to use for the Mosquito King!

The problem was, I should have known that they wouldn’t have just let me go…No, since I didn’t do as asked, I was stabbed in the heart. The last words I remember hearing of the Mosquito King before I quickly left before I died was, was, ‘If I can’t have you, then no one will!’ After that, he had coughed up blood in a strange manner and laughed, in which was something I was used to and not. He was someone greedy, that was for sure, but coughing up his most precious blood made me feel weird, but I had no time to think of it back then.

And so, I was bleeding through the heart, quickly gathering what I could to make a nest, not understanding why I felt like I had to do it…

It was not even far away from the Mosquito King, whom had died shortly after I flew away, and I rummaged around to a close by tree with a few strange items.

Then…I was ash…Slowly flying around for three years…

The first time this happened to me, I was completely shocked and stunned, not knowing in the slightest on how I should be thinking…

But, when it happened the second time, I was not worried and was more thinking about that dragon.

Strangely, there are times when I felt like I was nothing, when I had been ash, and it was something that I had welcomed…

 

It was around this time that the dragon had felt his heart ache to the connection he just gained, to be lost once again. It was when he started to realize that his most precious phoenix may indeed be something that could be enslaved…

 

***

 

My second enslavement was something that I knew would probably happen but didn’t want to accept that I couldn’t be strong enough to fight against it.

The start of my second life was different to that of my first. I ended up with a new name of Sally, but still preferring that of my original name of Kendra…Even though that life was now gone.

Later, I realized why I liked Kendra so much and it was because my father, whom had given his life for my freedom, had given me that name…I never wanted to forget what my first father had done for me and so, I was going to change my name at some point in that life…But I never had gotten to chance to do so.

It took me a few years to get over my last life, so even though I was taken into a poor family, I was still grateful that I was no longer owned by someone else. But…I kept to myself a lot, always worried that I might get hurt. I didn’t sleep well in my younger years and I was frightened often if someone was to touch me. I really was…A mixed up ball of problems…

 

With all these problems, and keeping to myself, it seemed to work to my advantage though. I was thought of as ‘mature’ for my age and someone that obviously wanted to stay out of trouble. Even though in my second life, I was still ‘serving’, by becoming a maid, I was looked upon relatively well, even though inside I did not get better for nearly two decades…

In fact, living the life of a maid, in comparison to being enslaved, was nothing. I welcomed that life willingly and did as I was told in pure gratitude! Not in gratitude to my new ‘master’s’ but in gratitude that I still felt more free then I had when I was enslaved.

Learning a number of things from my previous life, I grew up not depending on anybody. My second father back then had been someone that never got close to me, but he did work extremely hard. My mother seemed to work just as hard, but I never let her close when she wanted to be closer to me. I just couldn’t bare it back then…

Remembering what Juliet had done to me, I was even glad that I had no siblings as well…Well, actually they knew that I wasn’t their child anyway, so they did try to have someone blood related to have, but ended up leaving whatever they had to me, simply because they had no other choice. What they had though, was a very small amount of belongings that any rich person would be disgusted with…

 

***

 

In the land of Dura, which was where my second life was, I was reborn outside of the capital of Sirest. But being on top of the land didn’t last very long though, as for the rest of my life, I will not see the sky…

My second father took me in just a few hours after I had become a baby once again. He was unable to find anyone close by that had lost an infant child, only taking me in after he had searched a decent amount of people in the area. After bringing me back into his house, his wife had wanted to bring me up and over a couple of days my second father was talked into adopting me just to make his wife happy.

They had been trying to have a child now for two decades, but it seemed that the only child that they may ever obtain was…Me…

I was still hurting and scared from my last life but having these two people want to take me in slowly changed some of my hatred into something else and I was able to finally relax.

My new parents were called Daxton and Sheila and they were already getting old, making me help them a lot from a young age. I was not one to feel no gratitude for them taking me in, so I did as much as I could and tried to be like many other kids and treat them like my real parents…But found that I was not able to do this.

 

Edna’s face would come to me often, my father’s face…

I couldn’t just act unruly and want attention just like any other child because I was fearful that if I did and we had a close bond…

For the life of me, I was more grateful then anything yet, when my new mother wanted me to act spoiled, instead of thankful, I just could not do as she asked…I don’t know if I regret acting that way now, but back then I just wasn’t ready to let them into my heart just in case my heart would break more later.

I die and get reborn, I can be enslaved…It was certain that I would have to move on from my new parents, and that scared me into distancing myself from creating a bond with them the most…

I kept myself inside my own little bubble and did not communicate very much at all with them. It wasn’t their fault and I wished I could have told them that…No, it was because I had been still dealing with the hatred that had been burning my soul into shreds…

 

***

 

A few years later, me and my new family had moved into the capital, to get better jobs…

The problem was, earning money in Dura was very hard to do. That was because the Cockroach King was greedy…

So, we were actually very poor, and I had to work from the young age of six. But…There was one thing that I definitely noticed in Dura, that was different to that of Questro, and that was that there were more servants! The mosquitoes had done a lot of things for themselves, but in Dura, it seems there was a lot more then just cockroach creatures. It was just…A lot less populated…

I had first done work with my second mother as a maid, then ended up next to a young miss at the age of nine.

The young miss happened to be in the top five of the richest families, her name was Carly and I never found out what creature she had. She was the same age as me, yet of course, we had many differences. She was doted upon well, never really having to do work and did mostly whatever she wanted to. She didn’t treat her friends very well and wanted what they had, for some reason…If they had a toy, she wanted it, yet never played with it. If her friends talked to someone, she talked to them, trying to get more of that person’s attention…I could never work her out. Why did she want so much, when she already had so much to begin with?

 

I wasn’t Carly’s main maid, but I was happy not to be. I wanted to stay out of trouble as much as possible!

I learnt from other maid’s faults and did the best I could with what I had. Besides…It wasn’t the first time that I had to act this way because...Back when I had found my father, I had been working then too…

But that had been a new life, so I tried very hard not to think of the previous life when my second life was still just beginning.

Becoming such a good maid, only getting into trouble when the young miss was in a bad mood, I was noticed by a few gentlemen over the years…And that was when trouble had started coming to me, before I had even reached to get my creature out…

One gentleman was an uncle of the King of Dura. Since all his assets had mostly been taken and all he had to do was live in the palace, he didn’t seem to be much of a threat to the King and it must have played a part to his unruly ways.

Just in a few times of meeting this uncle of the King, named Zonic, I already did not like the men and tried very hard not to let him near me. It was also because of this man that I started to realize that beauty is a problem. In my first life, I was practically always dirty and rarely was dressed up, so I had forgotten what beauty could do to a man.

But, Zonic reminded me very much of the Mosquito King, whom had dressed me up a few times, only to destroy the clothing to get to what was underneath!

There was another gentleman that also seemed to try and get my attention, and his name was Malic. Malic wasn’t rich, but his parents were but he was different to Zonic by not using money to gain my attention…

Malic claimed to have nothing, and he worked hard as some type of farmer, but being underground I did not know much of what he grew…

 

The young miss started to dislike me, since two gentlemen seemed to like me and not her.

I didn’t particularly like either of the gentlemen, as one was extremely greedy, having eyes that I remember well upon the Mosquito King…And the other I was simply unable to figure out!

I wished that Carly would not think that I cared about these two men, but she really started to show her dislike towards me in her eyes and the way she ordered me around…

I could only oblige her and show her that I was loyal…But it never seemed to go back to what it was like before growing up and meeting these two gentlemen and I ended up spending less and less time around her, as she made me go and do other taxing jobs instead.

As it ended up, the greedy gentlemen was not able to touch me, but…The young miss ended up marrying the other gentleman, taking me along with her to his own small estate.

 

I really hadn’t known at first how the marriage had come to be so quickly. The young miss, I was sure, was greedy and I was sure that Malic and his small estate would not be ‘good enough’ for her.

It seems, when I finally found out why they had married, that it was something to do with the families of the two and so maybe even Carly had no right to object it…What I did see, over the time I got there and lived there though, was that Malic’s small estate did get more and more grand over the years and I guess it was because he had married Carly…I wished I could have seen it earlier, but by the time I thought of this later…It was already too late and I had done some things that I wish I hadn’t done…

The small estate, when we had arrived, was already able to be well lit with lights everywhere, yet the place where we would actually sleep was really only big enough for us…Which made me wonder if this man wanted a family, because it looks more like a bachelor’s place…

It had started off fine, as I tried to stay out of trouble, but as time went on, the new husband of the young miss continued to pester me and only got more and more courage as the time went on.

After a while, he simply told me that the reason he married Carly, was because of me and I was mortified!

To my utter idiocy…I somewhat believed this to be true and that was why I was mortified!

I was a maid and I did not show any type of affection for him, yet he was not leaving me alone!

The strange thing was, the young miss seemed to forget about me when she found that she was pregnant and I really wanted her to tell her husband to go back to her, instead of annoying me!

But…Things didn’t go as planned and I had to realize, yet again, that people did some irrational and crazy things!

 

***