The young miss, I ended up finding out, was pregnant to Zonic!

I had accompanied her nearly all the time and had no idea when the intimacy would have happened, but that was how it was! And strangely, I wasn’t as surprised as I thought I would be…

This was what Carly always seemed to do and I knew that she knew that Zonic had wanted me, so I really did worry what she would do to get his attention…But I had never thought that Carly would go as far as to get into that man’s bed!

Did she want attention that much that she would loss something so valuable!?

Did she not know that her own husband knows that she wasn’t clean?

But then again, why did he marry her, especially if he already knew!?

When her husband told me this, he was also at a loss…He didn’t seem to want to divorce Carly, because then I would also then leave…And for the first time, I felt like he did feel something for me, that no other man had.

Of course, I had never felt right about him, but I was starting to question his actions since I had first met him. He had not forced himself onto me, he was just…Irritating…

It was a lot different to the Mosquito King, who did whatever he had wished with me…

No…This man was…

I did not change my mind though, well not straight away. But, neither did he. He showered me with affection and honestly, I had no idea on how to deal with it because it simply had never happened before!

I was always so busy trying to live my life, and this was strange and new.

He made me feel like…There was more to life…

 

 

When the young miss was heavily pregnant, and we were of the age of seventeen, that was when I had felt like I had softened to the man’s antics and had become his concubine.

I was not ready, I knew, but with his continuous show of affection, even when I told him to stop, he was getting slightly mad at me and I…I didn’t want the only man who treated me this way to go away…So…

I had been scared, completely, but after all these months, he had been soft, starting with touches and then kisses, to finally getting me into his bed. I knew that as soon as I let him touch me, that he would want more…I knew that as soon as I let him kiss me, that he would want more…Why did I let him keep going?

But it had been a hell of a lot different to the Mosquito King, but I still felt like I wasn’t all there and had been pushed into this occasion.

Having to experience intimacy on this level, in a different way, did not help me though. I still acted somewhat uninterested to my new husband, not sure on what to do!

I felt different, yes, but I also felt scared. Scared that this man will become another Mosquito King, or scared that he’ll abandon me…

He coaxed me over very gently all the time but on the next day, it was like I had completely reverted back to my scared state…Making him unhappy that he had to coax me all over again…

 

It wasn’t long after the young miss’s child was born, that I had become pregnant. But it was at this time that things went slowly downhill and reverts back to another terrible past that I hated…

The beginning was when the young miss had the chance to make me abort the child and again, no longer be able to have children.

After that, I was then put upon a pedestal of never being good enough for my husband. He was upset, making Carly get punished…But nothing could be done now that his future child was gone.

He had gotten so angry that he had done what I had been scared of the entire time that he had tried to coax me to become his wife…

He abandoned me…

Just like that, a few months went by before my eighteenth birthday and I was completely neglected!

With no self-esteem, I did not leave my room. With myself lower then Carly, I did not even dare to think I had any type of right! Not only that, I felt like I was no longer a woman! Depression easily sat inside of my heart and for a while I would just daze out into space…

The man that I had put a certain amount of faith in, more then I had thought, had left me for another woman and ended up starting a family with her instead. In quick succession, she moved into his own room and she roamed freely, making me envy her, yet unable to bring myself to do anything about it.

 

By this time, the young miss was unable to leave her quarters, so nothing happened to the new concubine of my husband…Because…I wasn’t going to touch her…No.

I had already too many dark things happen to me, and I didn’t want to cause that type of sadness or whatnot to another. Besides…My depression had helped me completely give up on becoming someone like Carly…I just wanted to run away…

So, instead, I had decided to cultivate and be strong!

I was going to leave here the first chance I had and live a life away from everyone that knew me!

I had considered using my Phoenix feathers to get money, to use my tears to help people and using my wings to get me to places that would be far away from anyone that would want to hurt me!

 

And upon my eighteenth birthday, when it was time to bring forth my creature, I saw a change in not only how quickly I brought out my creature, but also that of the way it looked…I was not completely golden anymore…

I had now gained a green color and even some white that didn’t go well with the gold and green…But, there also seemed to be a purple color as well!

It was…A very strange change and made me feel like there was definitely something I didn’t know about the Phoenix that I probably should find out!

Such a thrilling change brought slight happiness to me and I was able to gain enough confidence to do as I had planned and leave.

I had said goodbye to Daxton and Sheila, packed what I needed, not even taking personal items of this life with me, and had written a note.

The note wasn’t for anyone specific, but I felt like I needed to leave something behind…And two days later I was just about to attempt to fly away!

 

 

…I didn’t get far…

It wasn’t because of the same rainbow that had lasted two days again, this time, it was because of the man that I thought was gentle and sweet had given me away!

Before my eighteenth, I found out later, I was bought by Zonic, the greedy eyed person that I had thought I would never see again…

To my utter distraught, I was enslaved, but they had never thought that they would have enslaved a Phoenix!

Before I knew it, I was watching a greedy man rub his hands together and think desperately upon a place to hid me…And that place ended up being in the palace…

Since I was enslaved, yet such a magnificent ‘object’ to the Cockroach King, my master had been accepted to live in the deepest part of the palace, as long as I could be used whenever the King wanted me.

It was…Tedious…

 

I had only just got used to living as a normal person, having a somewhat normal life…But now I remembered every bad thing that had happened to me while the first time I had been enslaved!

I glared often at the people who wanted to push me around, not afraid of death, but they didn’t seem to care. No, I found out, after I had cooled down, that glaring only made my position worse!

I didn’t even realize until later, how much more impressive the palace was compared to every other place I had seen so far in Dura. I didn’t even care too much about how much less workers and people their where in the palace compared to the palace in Torte. Hell, I was so far gone into my hatred that I never realized how many others that were unhappy…Being enslaved once again was a nightmare!

It was something that, as much as I tried, I could never forget!

I again thought I was a curse, or that my creature was a curse! That I wanted to die over and over again, and that I wished I had done it myself before I had turned eighteen!

 

Again, I was used as a test subject, enduring a lot of pain and agony…Again, I was hating humans and their greed, seeing how little help I got and how many bad people there were!

My blood was used, my feathers were used and most of all…My tears.

With all the money that had been received by selling some feathers in the black market, I received nothing. With all the weakness I got from being drained of blood, I only received a sleep that entangled me in nightmares! With all the tears that came out, because of having to endure something so desperately scary to me, I only got more and more scared and believed humans, all of them, were enemies! They were all my enemies and I hated every single one of them!

I remember going a bit crazy and wanting to kill everyone. If I fought the connection from my so-called master, I might be able to do it! All I’d have to do is endure through the pain of disobeying him but as long as I never got caught, I’d kill everyone on my way out!

I wished I knew what other powers the Phoenix had, in the way of attacking, as I wanted use it!

But, not only did I lose my enthusiasm to fight back, I also didn’t know what to use to attack anyone. I had never been able to get that far into finding out what else the Phoenix could do, and I was hardly able to fly…Especially when my feathers kept getting plucked. They might grow back but…

I lost my will, along with my fight, just cursing everyone in my head…

There was no one that was willing to help me out of my misery, there was no good people around at all!

The small amount of trust that I might have obtained, having been reborn and starting anew, had completely obliterated and shattered!

 

Zonic forced himself onto me multiple times and I was unable to get away!

For a decade, this new life went on, making me loss more and more fight in me and wishing wholeheartedly that someone would have come along to kill me!

I went back into hating humans to my very core! Their cruelty was amazing! Just because of who my creature was, they felt like doing this was ok! Did they not know how much I’d love to get revenge!?

With each crank that they pulled at my arms or legs to make me cry, with each arm or leg that had gotten cut off without even any type of pain reliever, did they think I would not inherit some type of hate, some type of injustice!?

I was certain that, for any future life, I had already helped them out enough and that I would become selfish! I was never going to help humans if I had the choice!

 

Nightmares…Nightmares still existed in me today, waking me up with my heart pounding and sweat covering my entire body. No, it was unlikely that I will never forget what has happened to me!

Did they not know that I remember this and get reborn!?

I hated it, I hated it so much that I wished I had never come into being, that I was never born, never conceived! Never existed!

How could anyone tolerate this! Why, why was I the Phoenix!? Why is the Phoenix something that can be enslaved!?

And that…Is a question that I continued to ask to this day!

Why am I able to be enslaved?

And…Why can’t I be killed to become nothing? Not ash, but nothing!

 

Then…With being taken and used for my tears by unknown people, it was then that I was killed and finally saw the dragon briefly for the first time, before disappearing into ash…To come to this third life…

Of course, my previous lives did hold more in them, but I am unable to think more about them. I most likely forget some good memories because the bad ones are too significant. The bad memories are the ones that stuck and were the ones that changed my life…

 

***

 

Remembering this now, I did start to question myself…

I might not be eighteen yet, but, if I were to bring my Phoenix out, wouldn’t this just happen once again?

I stopped my training, that I had come out alone for today, and bowed my head, letting my hands drop to my sides.

This mountain, where it was isolated…Was much like my heart. Even though I was not enslaved, I still felt constricted. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t do that…I was stuck.

I didn’t know the best cause of action to take, even though I wanted to live a life and experience things that normal people experienced. I wanted to see fireworks and try candies in the marketplace. I wanted to see a play and watch some creature battles. I wanted to have money of my own and spend it on something useless, just to make me feel like I had something to my name. Yet, I couldn’t do all of this because I was the Phoenix and I was able to be enslaved.

 

Defeated, I did not continue my training and simply decided that I will not bring my creature out.

How could I forget how I had felt while being enslaved?

How could I forget the pain and intolerable hatred for people running continuously through me!?

No…I was no longer going to train…I was not going to bring out my creature…

In fact, if there was any time that my creature comes out, I decided that I would end my life straight away, before I was to get enslaved. Both times, being enslaved had happened quickly, so I will have to act quickly too. But, could my creature come out anyway?

I don’t have anything to help bring it out and another person helping me only haunts me. What if they enslave me, what if they use me, what if they abandon me…

I would not live through another time that I would be enslaved and used. I just couldn’t bare it…

I can’t just die and that would be the end of it, no, I am reborn over and over again!

Even if I just end my life’s before I turn eighteen, or fifteen now that I can take my creature out early, it just seems like such a waste but again…I am trapped to feel and think this way…

And I was certain that I never wanted to endure another enslavement!

 

With that decision made, I then realized that even if I didn’t bring my creature out, living my days without it, it still did not mean that my creature may not be known…

There were…Other obvious ways that seemed to stand out to me and I was worried that it would stand out to others too…

So, if I stayed here much longer, there might be a chance that people might find out that I was the legendary Phoenix and they might use me like everyone else has…

Having turned sixteen a month ago, I guessed that it was time to leave.

Perhaps I could find a good place somewhere, where the birds can come, and no one will find out. Where my aura won’t be needed, because I just won’t talk to anyone…Perhaps…On the small chance, take a small trip into a nice town and see the markets, watch the fireworks and creature battles but then return back into seclusion…

Yes, isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?

Be on my own, away from humans…At least then they won’t hurt me, they won’t abandon me or use me…

I…Now have also decided to leave the Nature’s Call Clan…

 

***

 

“My King! My King!”

Duke moved his eyes from staring at a spot in front of him, to see Sharlae come running towards him. “My King! I…”

“Why are you here?” Duke asked firmly. He remembers specifically stating that he was going to be alone…

“Ah!”

He notices that she’s out of breath and narrows his eyes impatiently.

Being King was a tedious job, he had to have helpers and even women hanging around…But, in the last few years, he had not had to worry about it at all!

Even though he had not found his Phoenix yet, it had been a nice retreat. He did not have to talk about his ‘single’ life, nor the fact that he had no heir. He didn’t have people ganging up on him, making him feel edgy to those whom are volunteering to work in the castle…He was also glad to not worry about this woman!

 

He had forgotten what it was like to be alone and free, to fly wherever and do whatever he wanted. Most of the time was spent watching and waiting, finding clues, however small they were, upon his Phoenix but…The sky was his, this mountain…For a short time, had been his. Now everything was destroyed!

Already, he wanted to be left alone again and do things his way. He wanted his own life back!

They will just have to deal with not having him around!

Honestly, he didn’t particularly want to return to his castle…At least not before he found his Phoenix…

“I have news, Your Excellency.”

“Save it, I left people in charge and already know of most problems. If it is something that needs me, it can wait! Now return, I am busy.”

 

Looking back to the space before him, Duke felt a part of him feel odd…Just as he had moments before.

The smell that was left behind here…The aura…

It was…Interesting…

A dragon part of himself felt like he had found the remnants of a treasure. A strange feeling of wanting to obtain this treasure and hide it away from anyone else, made him feel weird.

He heard about the ideas behind dragons in folk tales and how much they liked treasure, but this was the first time that he had actually felt like he’d found something resembling what he had read.

He felt a strange desire to pick up this aura and take it away with him, yet…How was one to pick up an aura? A smell?

For the first time in a long time, Duke was stomped to his creature…