Floors 88 through 84 pose no real obstacle, just a speed bump with their hordes of meatheads. Technically there were several monster types that could kill me near-instantly with their attacks but all of them were stopped cold in their tracks due to safe zone abuse. Not my fault if dungeons are designed with such easily exploitable mechanics.

I wonder why I've never heard of any isekai stories with heroes that abuse similar safety areas... commit war crimes left and right but face monsters in an 'honorable' way. Bah, damn hypocrites!

Meanwhile I've been digging through the brick of a book. According to the never-ending list of contents this world has over 8000 dungeons. I hope I don't have to fully clear all of them at some point to gather mac guffins needed to unseal a divine alarm clock because a regular one won't do...

The short introductory text tells me that out of that enormous amount of dungeons only about thirty count as major dungeons, the rest are only minor dungeons. But the exact scientific difference between the two groups is supposedly only elaborated on further back in the book.

The first 6800 pages are reserved for listing rough overviews over all known dungeons but since we don't know in which we are exactly I just skim through them. But it seems like each dungeon has some kind of theme to it. There are dungeons emphasizing traps or terrain effects, some are more puzzle-oriented. Others kick you out after a set time limit with maybe a gimmick to extend the duration of the stay. There are supposedly dungeons that try to emulate an honorable 1v1 tournament. And some are just needlessly deep with a near-endless supply of monsters.

This dungeon obviously belongs to the latter group.

Well, there might be more different types of dungeons, I stopped reading too close into it.

I'd like to just skip ahead to the in details explanations of minor or major dungeons - god knows what idiot decided to put the most important parts at the end! - but... well, this book just refuses to let me turn more than one page at a time or go faster than a page per minute... or rather what feels like a minute.

The weird time distortion while 'idling' still seems to take place. At least I've no better explanation; it feels like a mere minute goes by but according to the system clock about an hour passes. And while the monsters are still alive and making noises time still proceeds roughly as expected, not that I can do much reading with all of those distractions.

(That's going nowhere, Elly. This book is cursed. I can only progress like thirty to forty pages a day. And so far there's nothing of value in them.)

(Maybe just keep flipping the pages and do something else at the same time?)

(It would still take about half a year to get where I want to be in it.)

(That can't be changed.)

(Yeah...)

I continue towards floor 83 - or rather try to.

whoosh

Before I can leave the safe zone suddenly an angel-like warrior stands before me and winds up to strike me with his(?) sword. I quickly step back and the strike barely misses. I run back a bit more and am back outside the previous safe zone, now on floor 84.

(I guess teleportation comes from space magic?)

nothingpersonal.mp3

Argh! I feel a sword slashing through my back.

There was a second angel and it warped behind me.

You want a fight? You can get it!

A double claw swing ending with a stab to the heart. I guess that confirms the heart counts as a proper weak spot.

He tries to strike back at me but the wind ups are too wide and predictable so even I can see it coming and just get out of the way then counter with my own claws.

After that I try to gain some distance but my adversary is faster so I'm stuck in melee range.

With that concentrating on casting a spell is out, too. I may be able to move slowly while doing so, but if I move too fast the prepared spell dissipates before I'm done with it.

The angel prepares to take another big swing and while doing so draws back his shield leaving it wide open again. so I strike to where its heart should. Critical hit! Repeat with my other hand. Another critical hit! Just 672 HP to go.

But then my opponent strikes forward and hits me before I can fully withdraw my claws from the chest holes. I was too greedy there.

The angel winds up for yet another strike not having learned from his mistake before. Another double critical and down he goes.

I've no clue why the first angel didn't make a move the entire time. Two against one I would've most likely lost.

Well, if he lets me I'll take the opportunity to wait until my HP regenerates back to full. I don't want to risk finding out how well the safe zone barrier holds up from the wrong direction while being half dead.

(At a minimum I learned that teleportation magic exists and monsters with it can also go through safe zones by using that spell...)

(Maybe, but good job on fighting him off in melee anyways.)

(That was an experience I could've done without, thank you very much. Also, how did they spot me before I attacked them? I thought I have [Stealth]?)

(I guess it is too bright in here for that to work.)

(And yet another useless skill...)

After my HP is full again I try to shoot an ice spell at the squatter hoping he is stuck behind the safe zone wall like usual.

But before I can prepare the second spell the angel rushes forward and goes right through the barrier. Seems like the protection only goes one way.

This angel forgoes the wide telegraphed slashes of his buddy in favor of forward stabs. So I try to stick to his side like with a bad souls boss and after a little tango, I manage to slip behind the safe zone barrier where this foe can't reach me anymore. Those walls are clearly one way only for regular monsters.

Should I feel bad about abusing that? Don't care, I've too much to lose to care about a concept like honor or fairness.

Three bullets and one [Blood Burst] later the second angel goes down. The 10 blood bullets produced by the latter just hover in the air waiting for a target but then fall apart after a moment when I still don't give them one.

(There were only those two on the whole floor? The whole floor-to-floor balance seems very off. One floor has almost a hundred level twenty to thirty brutes - that I would have no chance in hell to beat even 1v1 without the safe zone abuse - while the next floor only has a handful of 'elites' that don't even live up to that status. They were far too weak.)

(Look who is talking. They basically had your exact level and the perfect elemental magic to exploit your weakness.)

(And then they blew their whole load just on getting to me. Your point?)

(That is my point exactly! They had a skillset tailored to giving you a hard time.)

(I find it highly unlikely that they were designed with exactly me in mind. How would that even have worked with a proper party? Two 'evil twins' for every single party member?)

(Possibly?)

(Ah, no. Until proven otherwise I'll just stick to my belief that was just pure chance, Elly.)

After the non-events of floors 81 and 82, I finally reach floor 80 - the next boss fight. I'm not really looking forward to this, I don't have the faintest clue anymore what to expect from these encounters. The golem didn't care much about safe zones until a completely arbitrary point, the tree trapped me in the boss room and the snail didn't care where I was, it wasted a ton of resources just by existing... I still have over 600 blood packs, yes, but I've no way to replenish them and this is probably not the last extended dungeon crawl if I want life for much longer...

Though this time the door to the actual boss room is closed? Huh?

(Or the door simply is the boss. That works too. The stats... are just plain wrong. The hell?)

(I don't see any dangerous skills on it though.)

(How would it even attack? Fall on me?)

(Only one way to find out, Jared.)

I try to attack it with my best spell...

Great start...

Out of curiosity, I get closer and nothing happens. It doesn't move. Because it is a fricking door!

Cautiously I touch the door handle and try to open the door and walk through it, still nothing happens.

Out of reflex, I close the door behind me... and with that it dies? What?

(I guess for some people closing a door normally would count as a near-impossible challenge. I mean, have you seen any protagonist ever close a door?
Busting in? All the time. But closing one is a rarity.
This is the PERFECT obstacle for your average protag.)

(So, uh, what is this a metaphor for then, Jared?)

(I dunno, it is just a door. And as a wise man once said, 'sometimes a cigar is just a cigar'. Why, what would it be a metaphor for?)

(I dunno, maybe that you closed the door on your past, finally left it all behind and are ready to move on with your new life?)

(Nah, you're overthinking this. It is, was, just a door. Nothing else to it.)

(If you say so.)

After the anticlimactic 'boss fight' floors 79 through 76 also pose no problem. Rainbow bears, bear rats, beer rats, rat bears, oxygen elementals - none are a match for the might of the safe zone barrier.

Though it is taking a suspiciously long time for another glitch monster to appear... the no HP ghoul seemingly didn't count, I didn't get exp or drops from it.

But despite all that work I've not even gained one more level, I'm only up to 1902/2025. I miss abusing the flood monsters with rain magic on a daily basis. In the same 'time' I would've gained nearly triple the exp.

(Uh, Jared? What did you do?)

(What? I have done nothing, Elly, I'm just walking towards the next floor.)

(Then why did you suddenly gain over 200 exp and a shitload of loot?)

(What?)

stomp stomp

screams

(Ok, what the hell is going on now?)

(I have a bad feeling about this. Let's run back quickly and carefully check out what is going on.)

(Yeah, I agree.)

more stomping noises and screams

I try to run away back towards floor 80 but whatever is causing this turmoil catches up to me by floor 78.

There's a boss approaching me. A woman about a head taller than me wielding an oversized axe. The first time I appraise the womanly figure her name looks like a glitchy mess then it changes.

Whoa, slow down there, Lady! Fifteen classes is cheating! I supposedly can only get ten!!

She lets out another banshee-like scream "4̷̨̟̆̈6̵̯̕6̵͕̎́9̴̜͎̽͐6̸̱͑e̵̻͊͘6̴̻͗͜1̸̗̯̊̚6̵͙͛͘c̶̝̝̓6̷̮͓̊͋ć̸̲̇7̶̣̣̀9̴̖͑2̴̘̰̌̏0̶̣̭̃ ̸̠̍̈́6̴̱͂͐6̶̟͋6̶̘̃̈́f̵͎͍̉7̶̢͋̔5̷̥͎͌̚6̷̨̔̆é̴̠ͅ6̴̮͇̍̆4̵̭̫̀2̸̪̦͆̀0̷͉̰̋̈́ ̸̠͕̏7̵̼͛9̵͍̏͊6̵̣̅̂f̸͓̗͂7̷̺̍ͅ5̷̧͔̇2̷̯̎1̸̯́́"

(Uh, I guess your girlfriend over there is pissed. Forgot an anniversary?)

(She's probably found out about Lucia or Chloe, possibly both?)

(Possibly. Got any chocolate to apologize?)

(I seem to be just right out of the stuff, Elly. Do you think a romantic lightning bolt to the face will suffice instead?)

(Charming...)

(I take that as a yes.)

I might barely survive two hits from her, she has enough SP for seventeen attacks left and no way to recover more. I might just be able to stall that out. No idea where she wasted all her MP and SP but I'm not complaining about getting a chance.

Now I wish I had a status or skill that let me drain her SP without exposing me to danger. Well, that's food for thought for later.

And a third!

Crap! I've barely enough time for another spell before she is in my personal space.

Not my lucky day...

The boss lady now stands before me and swings her axe at me. I barely manage to dodge to the side.

There's no point in trying to sneak in attacks of my own for now, I just need to endure her remaining sixteen attacks and then I'm free to do whatever I want. Maybe ask her out for dinner.

Next she tries for a low sweeping attack. I try to jump over it. I can feel the axe flying by my feet, seems like she missed by a hair's breadth again.

I take the moment to take out a shield from the loot out of my inventory. I may not have the proper skill to equip it but screw skills, I should at least be able to use it to stop an attack.

BLC takes another overhead swing which I can sidestep but instead of retreating the axe she continues from there to swing at me again. I try to stop the sudden attack with my shield; I take no damage but the shield is instantly knocked out of my hands and destroyed. Thirteen attacks and four shields left.

I take out another shield.
This time she performs a direct forward stab, the shield instantly breaks.

Guess an untrained shield block only has a chance to work and the shield is destroyed either way.

I've managed to get a few steps distance between us, at least enough that I'm not directly in range of her axe unless she lunges forward first, but too little to cast another spell. And I can't go further, my back is literally to the wall already.

The boss jumps at me while swinging her axe overhead again. I dive forward and end up behind her when her axe rebounds on the wall.

I quickly turn towards her and bite into her neck. She may be a monster but she still has a human shape so this should work. It better does.

This girl has proven much more flexible with her attack strategy than the angels have so I'm not confident I can keep up stalling her for another eleven attacks.

She tries to shake me off but my fangs are firmly planted in her flesh, neither does she manage to reach me with her axe.

After a moment of drinking her blood, she finally breathes her last breath.

"5̷͎͊̽9̴̛̫̮͠6̵̤̆f̴̮̋͠7̴̬̞̍̒5̷̭̑̃2̶̜̅͝0̵̘̘̔́ ̷̺̈6̵͚̠͘4̶͌́͜6̷͉̬̈1̸͇̋6̴̭͔̔͠d̷̰͇̕6̴̙̋̀e̶̡͔͆2̶͕͌0̸̻̣̀ ̶̡̉̑7̵͖̬͝4̵̡͈̈́͠7̷̲̰̐͐2̵̹͑͜6̷̒ͅ1̶̳̯͐̔6̶̧̄̇9̴͔̪̇̋7̶̖̝̈́̒4̴̦̹̈́6̸̗̂f̶̺͙̈́̈́7̵̯̈2̸̧͙̕͠2̷̮̽1̸̛̗͉͌ ̴̘̔͜"

These sounds still give me the creeps.

(If you don't mind me asking what did it taste like, Jared?)

(...disgustingly familiar.)

(So more sand? Shame. And you worked so hard for that sip.)

Not even close but let's leave it at that...

After that stressful encounter, I need to sit down and catch my breath.

(Hey, Elly. Before I came here Jeff implied that the souls of the dead can't leave this world so they die off for real. I'm afraid that was just wishful thinking on his part.)

(Huh?)

(Nevermind.)