Twirling the rectangular pendant between his fingers, a glacial anger seethed in the eyes of Emperor Jin Bing Wen. 

Though Xiao Han is one whose abilities are recognized by Eunuch Steward Kwong, he was still shaken by the Emperor’s intimidating aura.

In the years after the war began, there were no shortage of people that showed up with a baby or toddler, swearing to high heaven that it was Princess Zhongcheng’s child entrusted to them by Guang Shen.

Of course, they all failed to prove their claim and after a merciless punishment befell each liar, the scam became no less than a suicide mission embarked upon by those with hollow skulls.

It had to be done, as the Emperor didn’t want his sister constantly reminded of the death of her child, nor his mother to stay wallowing the loss of her grandchild and sworn brother. 

But this… The string of the pendant was old and frayed, but the luster of the high class jade was yet to wane. He wouldn’t forget this jade even on his deathbed.

The green jade in Jin Bing Wen’s hand was actually one out of a pair. For as long as he could remember, the white counterpart has always hung around the Empress Dowager’s neck. It is her prized treasure that made her beat up one of the Emperor prior’s Consorts when the Consort dared to steal it out of spite.

Jin Bing Wen knew Guang Shen cherished his pendant just as much as the Empress Dowager did her own. It could never leave their person unless they willed it to, or they were dead.

After reading the letter, Jin Bing Wen was fazed— he couldn’t possibly retain his composure. He thought the writer was a crafty person with deep connections for them to be able to imitate Guang Shen’s speech and handwriting, but as soon as he saw the pendant the Emperor could no longer sit still.

With a sigh he stood and made his way to the window of his study. Some time had passed since Jin Bing Wen sent Eunuch Steward Kwong to investigate this matter, and while he trusted his Eunuch Steward very much, Jin Bing Wen’s heart was still uneasy.

He missed Guang Shen. Guang Shen wasn’t just a guard, or his martial arts teacher, but family. 

There is a strict conduct that exists between members of the royal family— even between parent and child. The warm closeness Jin Bing Wen was unable to have with the Emperor prior, he received from Guang Shen.

Though Jin Bing Wen didn’t have the luxury to cry when he first heard of Guang Shen’s death, his heart wept, and in the solitude of his bedroom he succumbed to grief, only to rise the next morning as a bold and indomitable Emperor.

For the first time in years, he found hope. It was only in his whimsical, fantastical daydreams that Guang Shen miraculously returned to them.

For the person that dared to stir the heart wrenching feelings Jin Bing Wen struggled to calm, he couldn’t imagine what he would do if it turned out to be another lie. 

While the Emperor thought up all sorts of horrid punishments, he felt a new presence in the imperial study but did not react to it. “You may leave, Xiao Han.” 

The little Eunuch bowed in a neat and servile manner, but his steps were quick as he did not think his bladder could hold on any longer!

Only when Xiao Han’s steps faded out of the Emperor’s trained hearing did he motion to the black cladded person to reveal himself.

The secret guard dropped from the roof beams then immediately went down on his knees. He cupped his fist in greeting, his voice a mix of reverence and fear, “This servant greets Your Majes—“

“Report.” The Emperor interrupted with a dismissive wave of his hand. Jin Bing Wen did not like his thoughts to be known, but was also in no mood to hide his anxiety. “Is it really him?”

“Yes, Your Majesty! Eunuch Steward Kwong has already confirmed it . Captain Guang is alive.”

Outwardly, the Emperor appeared cold and undaunted as a statue. Only he knew how his heart violently shook, how the corners of his eyes burned with a heat he hasn’t felt in a long time. There was a great joy… and beneath was lay sorrow. 

How cruel, Jin Bing Wen smiled ruefully, we only just found you, and yet… Fate has such a sadistic sense of humor.

Recalling the last words from Guang Shen’s letter, the Emperor’s heart went cold. Before he could succumb in front of his subordinate, Jin Bing Wen dismissed the secret guard.

“…By the time this letter finds you, I will have already gone ahead. To die in service of my Emperor has been my greatest honor. Glory to His Majesty the Emperor, Glory to Her Majesty the Empress Dowager.”

“Someone, come!” The secret guard understood he was being dismissed and disappeared before the three Eunuchs rushed into the study and knelt before the Emperor. “Zhen[1] will be going to to see the Empress Dowager.”

¹Zhen: The royal pronoun used only by the Emperor when referring to hisself. It takes the place of “I”, “me”, “my”, “mine” in the Emperor’s speech

*****

Everyday seemed to be filled with endless celebration. From dawn till dusk there were cheers, feasting, dancing, and singing.

It was all around him, yet Wei Qiang was completely detached from the festive atmosphere. 

After exchanging herbs for medicine with doctor Lin, Wei Qiang hoisted his gathered firewood onto his back and started for home. 

People still looked at him strangely— not that he blamed them. I would also be confused if the boy I knew turned out to be a girl. 

From the day the war ended, Guang Shen kept the promise he made the day Wei Qiang killed the soldier in the woods. 

Once people saw Wei Qiang in a long skirt, they immediately looked at Guang Shen for answers. 

“Xiao Qiang is such a beauty, what would I do if those Zhou Li bastards took her for a plaything?” Was Guang Shen’s short excuse.

Short, but sufficient. Who did not know of the Zhou Li army’s wickedness? Whether someone’s wife, mother, or daughter, no beauty could escape their greedy clutches.

Just as well, Wei Qiang was very lovely. Though a bit skinny, he still had a pair of captivating siren eyes framed with long, dark lashes, a small nose, and pouty lips. The makings of a great beauty were evident. 

…The more the villagers thought about it, the more they realized it should have been obvious— Wei Qiang was always too beautiful to be a boy.

Wei Qiang wasn’t fearful of being found out, for he knew, once he got older, he wouldn’t be any more manlier than he was now. Wei Qiang was destined not to grow very tall, but remembered he stayed a little over half a head taller than Wei Peizhi. Even his scholarly brother and father had broader builds when compared to him. 

Wei Qiang could recall many instances in which he wasn’t allowed into certain places because the hosts thought he was a playful young miss dressing as a man.

Of course, there was good reason for his actions. 

After thinking through the events of his past life, Wei Qiang narrowed his sufferings to two damning things— the first is obviously his identity as a flower.

Guang Shen never revealed the true meaning of the flower birthmark on Wei Qiang’s body, fearful the boy might unintentionally reveal it to someone. Wei Qiang only knew the flower was something “inauspicious”. Guang Shen trusted the Wei family to explain things and keep Wei Qiang’s secret, not knowing they would not only publicize it, but join outsiders in condemning him.

The other was an engagement he accepted on Wei Peizhi’s behalf. 

Wei Qiang was only trying to protect his little sister’s happiness, but that despicable Ling family went and turned him into a laughing stock and a murderer! 

His teeth dug into his inner cheek till he tasted blood. Coincidentally, this was a habit he developed having endured all of the Ling family’s thinly veiled ridicule. Ling Jiang…! Just wait and see how I’ll ensure your love is fulfilled this time around! 

Though Wei Qiang didn’t intend to show Wei Peizhi any grace, or carry the consequences of Ling Jiang’s stupidity, the engagement was necessary. 

In the Yuxuan empire, a woman who has her engagement broken for any reason apart from the death of her betrothed, will find it hard to get engaged again. It was such an issue most women would totally give up on marriage and move elsewhere. 

Once I deal with that bastard, I will never have to worry about revealing my body to anyone else. Wei Qiang intended to leave the capital as soon as he had enough money to stand on his own two feet. Since the Wei family and I are destined to not live harmoniously, I will make sure we do not have to live together longer than necessary.

Wei Qiang did not deny to himself that his heart was very embittered. He wanted to take advantage of his rebirth and make everyone who hurt him pay fifty— no, a hundred fold! 

However, in face of fulfilling Guang Shen’s wish, Wei Qiang’s vengeance was forced to cool down. 

“Grandpa, I’m back.” He announced. “I brought you medicine from aunty Lin.”

Guang Shen looked at Wei Qiang and smiled. “Thank you, Xiao Qiang, you’re working so hard to take care of me.”

The smile that should have left Wei Qiang feeling pleasant and warm grabbed his heart in a painful squeeze. “That’s natural,” he shrugged while helping Guang Shen seat up, “you’re my one and only grandpa.”

Guang Shen blushed, but did not reject the words as he usually would. These days, he accommodated Wei Qiang’s affection with red cheeks and a content expression. “You must remember your body has had a delicate constitution since young,” He scolded gently, “it would not do either of us any good if you overwork yourself.”

Wei Qiang hummed, neither affirming or denying he would heed Guang Shen’s words. You’re in this state, but you’re still worrying about me. No matter what Guang Shen says, Wei Qiang already had it in mind to do whatever needed to better Guang Shen’s health.

He smiled, amused by his own stupidity. He already knew there wasn’t much that could be done to stave the hands of death. 

As soon as possible, Guang Shen sent his letter to Eunuch Steward Kwong, as well as a token of his friendship with the Empress Dowager as proof of his identity.

As though a curse had befallen him, Guang Shen collapsed the same day he sent the letter.

The weather got warmer in the two months that passed, yet Guang Shen’s body was cold as ice. He seemed to be rapidly deteriorating, one eye totally blind and the other halfway there. He’d also lost all feeling in his right leg, and, no matter how much he ate he only became skinnier by the day. 

Guang Shen did his best to act like his condition wasn’t that bad, but every night Wei Qiang would hear his raspy breaths and suppressed coughs. 

Once Guang Shen finished his medicine, Wei Qiang took the bowl and went out to wash it. Really, he simply didn’t want Guang Shen to see the tears filling his eyes. It’s the same as before…! He stuffed his fist in his mouth to muffle his sobbing. 

It was happening sooner than Wei Qiang recalled. He thought he would have more time since Guang Shen died after he was fifteen. His fourteenth year had yet to end but Guang Shen’s health was already failing.

He threw down the wooden bowl, angrily pulling at his hair and doing his best not to scream in anger; Why aren’t things getting better?!

He tried to defend them and ended up having to stain his hands with blood! 

He studied medicine to prolong Guang Shen’s life, …So why is he dying?!

An extremely unwelcome thought came to him. “…No…” It was too cruel be real, “C-Could it be…?” yet situations made him wonder if that was indeed the case. Is it actually impossible to change the future? Can I… not grasp fortune but only trade one suffering for another?!

What Wei Qiang didn’t understand was that Guang Shen died that day fourteen years ago— when the Zhou Li army attacked. 

His injuries weren’t one a normal man— soldier or not— should have lived through. And even if they did, their time would be short and full of pain. 

Back when Wei Qiang was a baby, Guang Shen also wondered why he was still alive. Sometimes, he would sleep and feel his soul slipping away, and then Wei Qiang would call him back to life with a shrill cry. 

Staring at the door, which was almost completely blurred to him, Guang Shen wished he could just run out and hug his weeping child. Now that I think about it, it was always your voice I heard when I got tired…

Whether a cry, a whine, a laugh, or complaint, so long as Guang Shen heard Wei Qiang, his body would gain the strength to overcome again, and again.

“Ah… I get it…” Those few words threw him into a fit of coughs. He lay down and took deep breaths to ease the pain in his chest. 

Though Guang Shen’s eyes were losing touch with color and light, the world had never appeared so luminous to him.

He thought Wei Qiang was silly for not running to cry to him as he did when he was a child, but as tears trickled out of his eyes, he was grateful the boy stayed away. 

He was dying now because Wei Qiang no longer needed him. You… You will go to a better home than I can give you…

He’d waited so long, and yet, “Ah, somehow… it’s more bittersweet than I expected…”

The day passed them by with the two occupants of the hovel lost in their own thoughts. 

Wei Qiang could no longer manage a smile, and Guang Shen didn’t know what words could possibly ease Wei Qiang’s worry. 

When night came and they settled down to sleep, unprompted, Guang Shen said, “There was once a rose, it was the most beautiful in the whole world. Even in a field with the loveliest flowers, this rose remained the most gorgeous… It— It was so beautiful…”

Wei Qiang kept his face tucked into Guang Shen’s chest. Just as Wei Qiang could hear when Guang Shen started sobbing, he knew Guang Shen could feel tears soaking through his shirt.

“Inside and out, it was too beautiful for this world,” Guang Shen drew a shaky breath, his eyes looking upward in search of strength to go on. “Even when it was a mere bud, it’s beauty saved the life of an injured ogre. Some despised the rose because it was too beautiful. The ogre shielded the rose from all sorts of storms… while the rose grew thorns of its own and became more beautiful than the ogre ever knew it could be. Finally…” 

Guang Shen knew he should feel relief and joy and anticipation, but the arms that tightened around Wei Qiang conveyed his unwillingness to part. “finally, when the ogre was old, and it’s sharp teeth and claws had gone dull, the ogre found a magnificent garden to plant the rose. All the flowers there loved the rose, they had been waiting for it and were glad to welcome it into their garden. There, in good soil, and bright sunlight, the rose would become even more beautiful than before.”

Wei Qiang recalled the humiliations of his past life, and loneliness of his death. Even if there was a way to make Guang Shen believe him, he realized he would never tell Guang Shen of his past life, because, You trusted them so much… Guang Shen was even more pitiful than himself.

He sacrificed his own comfort and honor for the life of Princess Zhongcheng’s child. He could have killed Wei Qiang, abandoned him somewhere and focused on getting himself back to the Capital, But you chose me… You protected me, you loved me! Why?! If I died back then, who could blame you? Why did you do so much for people who aren’t worthy of your loyalty?!

As the Wei family failed Guang Shen’s expectations, so did Wei Qiang. He forsook himself in favor of pleasing such an ungrateful and selfish family that were dead set on excluding him. 

He was stubborn and did not adapt to the changes in his life, making his existence one that Guang Shen had wasted his time raising. He not only disgraced himself, but Guang Shen’s legacy. 

“…Grandpa,”

Guang Shen sleepily replied, “Hm.”

“I really like your stories.”

Guang Shen let out a small laugh and rubbed the back of Wei Qiang’s head, muttering to the boy to sleep.

For all his painstaking efforts, Wei Qiang now wanted Guang Shen to die in the dream of the Wei family crying in joy as they welcome home their lost child. 

As for him, he would live on in reality, and reality is; no one can accept a cursed flower, the Wei family will never be grateful for Guang Shen’s sacrifice, and I am the only that can be trusted with grandpa’s wish.

NEXT UPDATE- July 15th 22