Feng-momo awaited Princess Zhongcheng outside the Empress Dowager’s palace. As soon as she saw the personalized palanquin, she breathed a sigh of relief and rushed forward to receive the Princess.

“Your Highness, thank goodness you’re here!” The old servant cried.

Princess Zhongcheng wasn’t just beautiful. Having received the dotage of her parents, there was a pride about her that did not allow anyone deny her royal blood. 

Motioning for one of her servant to help Feng-momo stand, Princess Zhongcheng said matter-of-factly, “Bengong[1]’s imperial mother has always been of strong spirit and mind. For her to collapse, something must have occurred. In a time of crisis, Bengong will naturally accompany her.”

¹Bengong: A royal personal pronoun used by female royals when referring to themselves. It takes the place of “I”, “me”, “my”, “mine” etc in their speech

“Yes, the Princess’ words are right. …Her Majesty’s heart will be eased by Your Highness’ presence.” Feng-momo nodded slowly and started leading Princess Zhongcheng towards the Empress Dowager’s inner palace. 

As per the Emperor’s orders, she did not tell Princess Zhongcheng this was the second time the Empress Dowager was fainting.

The news was perfectly suppressed, ensuring no one knew the first time was when the Emperor informed her Guang Shen lived, and now… now she fainted because she was just told of his death…

Feng-momo agreed with Princess Zhongcheng’s words about the Empress Dowager being strong spirited.

She could still remember her master’s days as a Consort. Not only did the Empress Dowager like to frustrate the Emperor prior to death, she once bullied another Consort out of the harem when that Consort stole her necklace. 

Of course, she received numerous punishments but still held onto a prideful and unrepentant attitude that could annoy others till they wanted to rip their hair out.

In all her years of service, today was the second time Feng-momo ever saw the Empress Dowager in a feeble state.

She let Princess Zhongcheng into the bedroom and left with a bow, giving the family privacy to talk.

“Imperial Brother?” Princess Zhongcheng was surprised to see her twin by their mother’s side— not because he wasn’t caring, but because she knew he had a lot of work to do now that the war has ended. Wei Zhang leaves early and returns exhausted each day, I can’t imagine how many things imperial brother is taking care of.

He stopped her from bowing with a wave of his hand then motioned Princess Zhongcheng to take the seat placed besides the Empress Dowager’s bed.

She did, her heart aching at the sight of her mother’s pallid face and reddened eyes. “Imperial mother!” She gasped, reaching out to hold one of the older woman’s hands. 

The Empress Dowager met her daughter’s eyes, her mouth opening to say something, only for her to break into tears again.

Facing Jin Bing Wen, Princess Zhongcheng saw a little grief come through that stoic mask of his, “Imperial brother, what happened? What made imperial mother become like this?!” The last time she’d seen her mother this distressed was the day the Emperor Prior passed.

It has been ages since Jin Bing Wen last felt speechless. Not even because he didn’t have the words, but that his own body didn’t want to speak them. 

Squeezing his fist, he started, “Pei Lam[2], you must remain calm and listen to what I am about to tell you.”

²Jin Pei Lam: Princess Zhongcheng’s name

Jin Bing Wen was a ruler first before he was a man, and since ascending the throne he remained as perfect a monarch as one could be. That included no longer taking an informal form of speech with her, their mother, or anyone else.

Despite his gentle tone that wished to ease her heart, Princess Zhongcheng became even more apprehensive. Still, she readied herself and nodded.

Jin Bing Wen took a deep breath. “Some time ago… I… I received word from Captain Guang Shen.”

Princess Zhongcheng didn’t speak for a short moment, and then bursted out laughing, “Aiya, imperial brother you worried me this much just to say there is another fraudster who…” Seeing the Emperor’s solemn look, her words trailed into silence.

Princess Zhongcheng searched her brother’s deep eyes, finding only a grave look within them. She looked to her mother for words that would rebut this shocking news.

The Empress Dowager was still not at a point where she could speak. She silently brought a rectangular pendant from her sleeve, causing the Princess’ brows to raise so high they almost touched her hairline. 

“This…” She breathed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Uncle Shen really… he is actually… No!” It was simply impossible! Was she not a victim of that vicious attack? Hardly anyone that went with her survived— let alone Guang Shen who sacrificed himself to divert the Zhou Li soldiers! “Imperial brother, this is clearly the work of another trickster! They do such evil things, not caring how much they hurt others! Imperial brother, you must punish the liars without mercy!”

Jin Bing Wen put a hand on her shoulder to calm her. “I already sent Eunuch Kwong to investigate when I first received the pendant. He confirmed it with his own eyes. Jin Pei Lam… the pendant was truly sent by Guang Shen.”

If she weren’t already seating, Princess Zhongcheng would have collapsed. Her mind was in a daze, her body without strength. “H-How could this be…?” She muttered, “Can such miracles actually occur?” looking between her mother and brother, she wondered, “Imperial mother, imperial brother, why are you in such a state then? Is this not a good thing? Uncle Shen will return to us and—“ 

The Emperor gripped his heart, appearing to be in a pain he could not give to words. His expression was enough to make Princess Zhongcheng feel like her heart was being pressed down. She started to tremble, her mind landing on one, devastating conclusion. “…Uncle Shen… no… Y-You can’t tell me he…!”

“I received word yesterday.” Jin Bing Wen admitted, “Guang Shen’s injuries from that day were too severe— it’s a miracle he lived this long without getting proper treatment...”

Tears streamed down Princess Zhongcheng’s cheeks. Ah, how can fate be so cruel to me?! She did all she could to blurt that horrid day from her mind, yet it came back to haunt her in new ways, picking at old wounds and uncovering buried trauma.

What had she done to suffer such fright and humiliation? 

What had she done to not be allowed to forget?

“Pei Lam, all is not lost…” The Empress Dowager croaked, “Xiao Shen, he… till the very end, he kept all of us in his heart!”

Princess Zhongcheng raised her eyes to see the Empress Dowager smiling sadly. 

Confused, she looked to Jin Bing Wen, who stated, “That year, your child did not die.”

“…What?” The Princess felt her mouth go dry.

“Guang Shen escaped with your child— your daughter— and has been raising her all these years. As we speak, she’s on her way back with Eunuch Kwong.”

“I… I…” Not knowing what to say, Princess Zhongcheng lowered her head.

Thinking she was overtaken by her emotions, the Empress Dowager and Emperor did not force her to speak, but carried on joyously;

“Eunuch Kwong had nothing but praises for her.” The Emperor said, “In his letter, he said she reminds him a little of you, imperial mother, and that she took care of Guang Shen from sunrise to sunset.”

“My,” The Empress Dowager brightened, “she must be something to receive Eunuch Kwong’s acknowledgment. Wen’Er, that child, what’s her name?”

Princess Zhongcheng’s ears pricked up at this.

“Guang Shen named her “Qiang”. Eunuch Kwong said it’s a very fitting name.” 

Wei Qiang. Princess Zhongcheng tossed the name in her mind, her lips unconsciously folding with displeasure.

With her prayer beads folded around her hand, the Empress Dowager pressed her palms together. “Amitabha[3]! We could not be reunited in this life, but the heavens took pity on us and returned a child of our house!”

³ Infinite light. The essential practice of Pure Land Buddhism is chanting the name of Amitabha Buddha with total concentration, trusting that one will be reborn in the Pure Land, a place where it is easier to reach enlightenment

The Empress Dowager’s feelings were a mess. She fluctuated between sadness and joy, making the Emperor fear she would worsen her health should she continue like this.

As such, the Emperor had the physician feed her some medicine to put her to sleep.

As soon as they left, Jin Bing Wen donned the image of an unreadable monarch once more. 

“Many unexpected things have suddenly happened,” His voice, however, remained kind while trying to comfort his sister, “and there is a lot for you and your family to discuss. Nonetheless, you have to keep a calm mind for you and Wei Qiang’s sake.”

“Wei Qiang’s…? What about her?” The Princess muttered. Wasn’t that child rising up in life? Who else is lucky enough to soar from dirt to golden branches on the efforts of someone else’s wings?

The Emperor knew his sister was of the habit of acting by her emotions, unintentionally forgetting about others at times. Worried she would overwhelm Wei Qiang, he advised, “Wei Qiang and Guang Shen’s life has not been easy. Remember, you’re welcoming your long lost daughter, but she is still grieving the only relative she ever had. You must be patient and comfort her, and in this way you will grow closer as a family.” 

Underneath her sleeve, Princess Zhongcheng’s nails dug into her skin. You’re saying such things without considering how I feel! “Yes, there are many things to consider.”

“Also be mindful of those who will look down on her, or envy her because she grew up as a commoner but became a child of a Princess and high ranking official. It won’t be easy at first, but she will adapt with time and support.”

“…Imperial brother, what if… what if she does not?” Princess Zhongcheng carefully suggested, “As imperial brother said, this will be a drastic change for her— but also for myself and my family. …If things will be too difficult for her, then—“

“Zhen trusts imperial sister is not about to suggest sending Wei Qiang— your child saved by Guang Shen— away. Certainly, my own blood related sister would not show such disrespect towards Guang Shen’s brave sacrifice, disregarding him and the feelings of our imperial mother!”

She cowered under the Emperor’s stormy aura. The kindness in his voice was replaced with a painfully indifferent tone, the warmth of his eyes dying down to a glacial chill.

The servants staying ten feet behind them felt the Emperor’s displeasure and dropped into a kowtow, so what of Princess Zhongcheng who was only a foot away from him?

She genuinely could not remember a time she had been the object of her brother’s anger. With sweat dripping down her brow, she grit her teeth and dropped to her knees. “Chen qie[4] misspoke, Your Majesty. Please forgive this one’s foolish words!”

⁴Chen qie: Personal pronoun for women when they are addressing themselves towards a person of higher status. I’ve seen stories translate it as “your subject” or “this one”

Seeing his sister’s contrite posture, the Emperor’s heart softened. “Get up.” He said, “Back when we were young, imperial sister was soft hearted, most of our troubles were handled by imperial mother and Zhen.” 

To the Empress Dowager’s luck, her daughter was beloved by the Emperor Prior and her son was born talented in all aspects— a Prince who deserved to be called the son of a dragon. 

As such, she left most matters to Jin Bing Wen and he also grew to rely solely on himself. We can only blame ourselves for how spoilt she’s become. “Nonetheless, you are an imperial Princess and a mother, Princess Zhongcheng. No matter how you may not want your peaceful life disrupted, it is your duty to gratefully honor Guang Shen’s hard work and raise your daughter accordingly.”

The side eye the Emperor gave Princess Zhongcheng twisted her guts with fright. “Chen qie understands, imperial brother.”

Jin Bing Wen took a deep breath and let it out. He could see there would be difficulties ahead, but he was certain that Princess Zhongcheng’s heart would eventually make room for her daughter. After all, she was so devastated back then, and they both have wounds to lick. Once they meet, they will surely bond quickly. 

Only when she left the imperial castle in her carriage did Princess Zhongcheng’s face twist with a toxic mix of anger and sadness.

“Such a thing…!” Tears of self-pity started down her cheeks, “Ah! Why must that cursed star torment me after all these years?!”

Jin Bing Wen will later learn how much overestimated his sister. 

Princess Zhongcheng was convinced her brother and mother were blinded by their emotions towards Guang Shen. “They weren’t there!” She told herself, “That child, she is evil— Wei Qiang is a cursed star…!”

During her pregnancy with Wei Qiang, her health deteriorated to the point she had to take a vacation. Two months before his due date, Wei Qiang suddenly insisted on being born, effectively forcing her to stop in that cheap town and be attacked by the barbaric Zhou Li! 

How could there be such coincidences?! Obviously, Wei Qiang is a cursed star— one destined to bring destruction to everyone unlucky enough to be caught in his blackened fate!

Just look what havoc that child already wreaks— hearing of his existence put the Empress Dowager on bedrest, speaking of him caused the Emperor to be angry with her— Even imperial father has never spoken to be the way imperial brother did today! 

If it’s not the work of a curse, then what else could it be?!

*****

In Wei Qiang’s past life, he just barely managed to bury Guang Shen’s body.

At the end, Guang Shen didn’t keep an intact corpse as a bear dug it up to feast on. There wasn’t much Wei Qiang could do against a hungry bear, except watch as the beast dragged Guang Shen off.

The Empress Dowager and Emperor didn’t say it explicitly, but Wei Qiang knew they blamed him a little for not giving Guang Shen an honorable burial.

He remembered there was an unimaginable loneliness after Guang Shen’s death. It was a part of his memories left foggy. Wei Qiang didn’t remember clearly how he lived without Guang Shen, his mind associating that point of his life to cold, silence, and darkness.

And then, the storm passed. 

The mere existence of the Wei family gave him light and warmth, appearing in his life at the peak of his lonesome existence 

Pathetically, Wei Qiang could forget his grief so long as he had them to focus on. In the most twisted of ways, he found purpose in pursuing them.

Things will never be that way again. His mind said it was a good thing, but his heart was shrouded. 

This cold loneliness left behind by Guang Shen, Wei Qiang feared he might never be free of it, but, perhaps that was a heavenly favor in and of itself.

If Wei Qiang does not trust then he will never be betrayed, if he strikes first, who will find the leeway to harm him?

“It is better this way,” He decided.

Wei Qiang arranged six cups on the tray, along with a bowl of gluttonous rice balls. 

Unlike Ran Zhu, the Capital and its surrounding states were seeing thin snowfalls at least once a day or not at all. No matter how much or little snow fell, the air was chilled enough to feel like little pinches across one’s skin.

After adjusting his cloak, Wei Qiang took the tray and went towards the stables. 

Accompanying Euncuh Kwong were two female attendants and six imperial guards, all disguised as commoners to avoid suspicion. 

Since it was winter, most inns and lodges were booked as the weather wasn’t conducive for traveling. 

They managed to rent a small courtyard, one where only Wei Qiang and Eunuch Kwong could have their own room, the attendants shared one, and the guards had to rest in the stable.

Since it was a courtyard and not a lodge, the group had to take care of their meals. Eunuch Kwong received enough money from the Emperor for them to buy three meals a day, but how could Wei Qiang miss the chance to curry favor.

The moment one of the guards saw the white cladded figure approaching, he pushed to his feet, receiving Wei Qiang with a helpless smile. “Xiaojie[5], you really don’t have to do this.”

⁵Xiaojie: young miss

With a small smile, Wei Qiang replied sheepishly, “It is so cold out, this miss cannot help worrying you gentlemen may fall ill.”

As per tradition, Wei Qiang wore a white hanfu and a veil that covered most of his face, stopping right above his lips. He looked so small and slim in his thick winter coat, his lips and fingers paled from the cold.

With such a pitiful appearance, how could any of the guards stand to refuse? 

“Xiaojie is really too kind,” One of them praised. “we are not worthy of receiving your grace.” They didn’t know the identity of this lady, but if Eunuch Kwong is treating Wei Qiang with so much respect and care, then they would be wise to follow suit.

“Please do not say such a thing,” Wei Qiang said, “you gentlemen have been working hard through out this journey. This miss only wishes to ease your burden however possible.”

Wei Qiang’s thoughtfulness warmed them more than the tea. By the time he was leaving, he learnt they would be at the Capital in a day and a half, and that he still had time to profit off of his memories.

In fact, there might be more benefits waiting for me than I thought. Wei Qiang was initially worried he might miss the opportunity to latch onto coming trends, or affiliate himself with people yet to become famed names, but his early return to the Capital was actually a stroke of good luck. So long as I can save up enough money, I’ll be able to start making moves by the start of spring.

Guang Shen said he would be proud of Wei Qiang no matter who he chose to be or what he did, but that wasn’t enough for Wei Qiang— Grandpa deserves better. 

In the future Wei Qiang painted in his mind, no one could say Guang Shen’s efforts were wasted, and those who dare best be prepared to have their mouths ripped open by Wei Qiang.

Finding Eunuch Kwong in front of his bedroom door, Wei Qiang immediately did away with his murderous thoughts and put on a pleasant smile.

“Xiaojie,” A simple word from the Eunuch carried a mountain of complaints. 

“Does Sir Kwong feel any better?”

Eunuch Kwong felt his tongue go stiff, no longer having the confidence to scold Wei Qiang for doing chores not suited for his status.

During this journey, Eunuch Kwong learnt Wei Qiang is as good natured as he is clever— open to compromise, but also not without hardheadedness. 

Somehow, He thought, she’s a little worse than the Empress Dowager. The Empress Dowager openly refuses the opinion of others and argues till her teeth ache. Wei Qiang would show implicit obedience, only to do as he pleases. If he is scolded, he will simply say, “When did I agree to that? I simply didn’t argue with you and you took it as my compliance. Are you not the one who misunderstood me?”

Wei Qiang was also sure to satisfy Eunuch Kwong as much as he frustrated him. After all, this is such a golden opportunity to climb into his good books. He provided Eunuch Kwong with a joint pain medicine meant for Guang Shen. As such, since he also reaped from Wei Qiang’s efforts, Eunuch Kwong could not find room to chastise Wei Qiang.

Eunuch Kwong knew Wei Qiang was tacitly reminding him of what the latter had done for him. His brows further squeezed.

Seeing no actual anger in the man’s eyes, Wei Qiang sadly gave the excuse, “I don’t want to be useless...”

“Xiaojie could never be useless!” Eunuch Kwong argued. “However, Xiaojie’s reputation is not a simple one, it is not appropriate for Xiaojie to take up such work anymore.”

“I see,” Wei Qiang kept his tone meek, “I— Um… This miss will be mindful from now on and not cause trouble for Sir Kwong.”

Seeing Wei Qiang was taking to his lessons, Eunuch Kwong nodded. “Xiaojie, this one actually came to tell you there has been a change in plans.”

Wei Qiang’s eyes narrowed beneath the veil, but his tone didn’t waver. “Is it anything serious?”

“Not at all.” He assured him. Leaning close so no one else could hear, Eunuch Kwong whispered, “Your grandmother, the Empress Dowager, is eager to see you. For her sake, the Emperor has asked that we travel the rest of the night so we will reach the Capital at noon tomorrow. For Xiaojie’s comfort, His Majesty is also sent over a rosewood carriage and more imperial guards to make the rest of the journey easier.”

“…Such a great honor!” Wei Qiang fawned, “To think someone so illustrious is eager to meet me. This miss is lacking, but will definitely try not to disappoint Her Majesty.”

“Don’t say such things, Xiaojie. As Her Majesty’s granddaughter, your presence alone will be enough to bring her great joy.”

After going over the details, Wei Qiang waved after Eunuch Kwong, his lips only dropping after the man was out of sight. 

He entered his room, ripping the veil off with a scoff, “What “great joy”?” he mocked. While he fully intended to win and enjoy the Empress Dowager’s support, Wei Qiang would never forget their faces when they learned he was a flower. 

His heart felt tight, and as he dropped into the bed he praised himself for choosing to disguise himself as a woman. “No one needs to know you,” He reminded himself, “no one needs to love you. They only need to know and love the daughter raised by Guang Shen.”

One day, his heart will accept how necessary a decision this is.

NEXT UPDATE: August 6th 22