Something within Wei Qiang had gone terribly wrong. He just didn’t know what exactly. 

This “wrongness” was ugly and broken. It squirmed in his chest, demanding his attention. It was his tormentor, keeping a noose around his neck to remind him it could easily be an executioner as well.

The wrongness kept him awake at night, writhed beneath his skin and often times made him feel like his body was some dingy, filthy shell he was forced to inhabit, that it was about to burst out, throwing sinews of flesh all over the place. 

When did the wrongness take root? When did it bloom with such horrific magnificence?

Was it when Wei Qiang lost Guang Shen a second time?

No. Maybe it was when he killed that soldier.

…That’s not right either.

Perchance it took form at the moment of his death?

The wrongness is ageless and vast. It regards Wei Qiang with the all seeing eyes of a higher being. Through every second of every day it picks him apart and finds him lacking— inside and out, Wei Qiang is severely lacking. 

And so, he has to pay. Yes, this is his penance. 

He will never truly, honestly be all that Guang Shen hoped for him, but to fool others into thinking he was is the only way someone like him can repent. 

In face of the wrongness and the secondhand salvation it promised, not even the great imperial castle could daunt Wei Qiang. 

Family reunions are never really a completely joyous event. Social etiquette just demands people pretend like they are.

However, with Wei Peizhi’s status, she hardly needed to be discreet without beneficial reasons, and Wei Taio had to pinch her whenever her expression turned sour. 

When Feng-momo returned to the pavilion, everyone unconsciously stiffened. “Eunuch Steward’s carriage just crossed the castle gates.” She informed them with a barely repressed smile. Finally, Her Majesty can relax and focus on recovering!

In a humorless turn of events, Princess Zhongcheng actually found herself praying some scammer was trying their luck. Truly, She tiredly rubbed her forehead. a fake would be better than a cursed star. 

Contrarily, the Empress Dowager’s smile could outshine the day. She placed a hand on her chest in a bid to calm her racing heart. “Aiya, thank the heavens nothing went wrong.” She looked over the small feast. “Hmm… She will probably be very hungry. Feng-momo, quickly tell the kitchen—“

“Imperial mother,” The Emperor gently cut in, “this is more than enough. Too much and she will be overwhelmed.”

The Empress Dowager weighed the words then nodded. “Aijia[1] has gotten so muddleheaded with age.” She sighed. 

¹Aijia: royal personal pronoun used by the empress dowager when referring to herself. I’ve seen it translated as “the grieving one” since she is a widow

“Imperial mother is caring, but be mindful not to worry yourself to illness. After all, if imperial mother worries too much,” His eyes darted towards his twin, carrying all sorts of warnings, “what role will Princess Zhongcheng play as Wei Qiang’s birth mother?”

Princess Zhongcheng immediately took the hint and forced a smile. “Imperial brother is right. Imperial mother should be at peace and leave such matters to the children you have painstakingly raised.”

The Emperor noticed his sister did not say she would personally handle Wei Qiang’s matters, but this was not the place to reprimand her. The Empress Dowager’s health was barely stable from her last shock, All other things can be discussed once she has recovered. he decided. 

“Yes, yes, Aijia trusts you. Princess Zhongcheng was raised preciously, and Aijia knows you will not fail to do the same for all your children.”

The Empress Dowager’s words almost made Princess Zhongcheng feel like her mother knew her heart, but the deep look of reminiscence in her eyes made her realize the Empress Dowager said those words carelessly.

Still, it clued Princess Zhongcheng in on the older royal’s hopes for Wei Qiang, and she despised the fact she was being forced to care for the child that aimed for her life so callously. 

Underneath the table, Wei Zhang took her hand in a show of comfort.

The very day she heard of their daughter being alive, she leaped into Wei Zhang’s arms and cried as soon as he returned from court. While he didn’t understand, nor agree with her sentiments towards Wei Qiang, he knew his wife is a woman that can bear no grievances and could not help but sympathize with her. 

Princess Zhongcheng looked gratefully at him. To think, that child almost made it so I could never be by this man’s side again. With his support, she was able to steady her emotions and school her expression accordingly. Even though a great ordeal was before her, Princess Zhongcheng was glad she could face it with the man she loves.

Wei Qiang didn’t feel anything when standing before the magnificent doors of the Tuanjie pavilion. 

It is a well known place in which blood related royals gather to spend time with one another. In some records, certain Emperors did not allow their Empresses or Consorts enter it because they are not blood related to the Jin clan. Similarly, those who married the Emperor’s sisters or brothers cannot enter without the Emperor’s special invitation. 

For Wei Qiang to be brought to this place, it can be said he has already been recognized as his mother’s child. 

It was the same in his past life. However, Wei Qiang entered Tuanjie pavilion only on the day of his return and never again. 

The guards hurriedly opened the door upon seeing Eunuch Kwong. He nodded to them, then cast Wei Qiang an encouraging glance. 

Wei Qiang returned it with a shy smile. He wished it was nervousness clenching his heart right now and not the wrongness. It dared Wei Qiang to make a mistake once more— to disgrace himself, shame Guang Shen’s efforts again, love his family like a fool and long for their hearts like a beggar!

I’ll never allow that. Wei Qiang looked to the future without expectations of anything or anyone but himself. Whatever needed to be done to achieve Guang Shen’s hopes for him, he would do it. Now that he’s cut down one soul, Wei Qiang knew he could cut down as many as required.

He followed Eunuch Kwong’s motion and knelt with his face to the ground.

“This servant greets Your Majesty the Emperor and Her Majesty the Empress Dow—!”

Before the Eunuch could finish giving his greetings, the Empress Dowager got out of her seat and went towards Wei Qiang. 

She stared down at Wei Qiang, who was still in a kowtow, not knowing exactly what she wanted to say or do now. 

Reading her emotions, the Emperor’s deep voice commanded, “Raise your heads.”

Eunuch steward Kwong and Wei Qiang were quick to obey. 

Wei Qiang watched the Empress Dowager’s shaky hand pinch the end of his veil and slightly lift it.

As soon as she saw his eyes, the Empress Dowager covered her mouth, tears pouring down her face. These eyes…! For a moment, she thought she was looking into the eyes of the late Emperor. Apart from the delicate face as pretty as a lotus, Wei Qiang’s eyes were a perfect copy of her dead husband’s. 

The more she looked, the more physical similarities she could make out that tied Wei Qiang to their bloodline.

Dropping the veil, the Empress Dowager looked back at her son, who was awaiting her judgment with concealed anxiety. She nodded furiously, then faced Princess Zhongcheng, “This is your child!”

The words were damnation to Princess Zhongcheng. Her body lost all strength, and her only support was Wei Zhang. 

Wei Peizhi’s jaw dropped. She turned and grabbed Wei Taio’s sleeve, hissing, “Brother!” an unelaborated demand for him to do something about this situation. 

Wei Taio shook his head. He wasn’t any more happy than she was. How is one supposed to accept a sister that rolled in from nowhere? However, he could already tell his grandmother did not have intentions to turn Wei Qiang away. So long as she accepts her, He sighed, what room do we have to refuse?

Seeing his sister had not composed herself, the Emperor’s lips slightly curled in annoyance. “Imperial mother,” His voice stopped the Empress Dowager from overwhelming Wei Qiang with questions. “let us sit down and eat, there is a lot to discuss with Wei Qiang.”

The meals were lavish and tastier than anything Wei Qiang had eaten during his time with Guang Shen. Still, it all rolled down his throat without him registering exactly what was going into his mouth. 

From underneath his veil, no one could properly make out the upper half of his face, leaving him free to observe his family as much as he wished. 

There was a surrealism to this moment. For all that has happened, Wei Qiang couldn’t shake the feeling of mystification when he looked at his sister and brother, who were younger than when he died at the age of twenty-two. 

His dark eyes were drawn to Princess Zhongcheng. She was smiling sweetly at Wei Zhang, who filled her plate with all the things she liked. 

“Wei Qiang, don’t blame me.” The scene before his death began to overlap with the now. 

Wei Qiang promptly looked down at his food, batting his eyes to chase away the tears. How foolish. He scolded himself. He was still aggrieved over matters that have not happened— that will never happen if he can help it— but Princess Zhongcheng probably did not shed a single tear after leaving him to die. If anything… she must have been happy to be free of me…

Seeing Wei Qiang had slowly stopped eating, the Empress Dowager worriedly asked, “Xiao Qiang, is the food not to your liking?”

“This one has never had anything more delicious, Your Majesty.” Wei Qiang smiled, “This subject was just muddleheaded for a moment.”

Eunuch Kwong shook his head. “Your Majesty, please excuse this servant for speaking.” When the Empress Dowager nodded, he informed her, “Xiaojie’s health has been poor since young, making Xiaojie have a small appetite.” If he does not speak up he knows Wei Qiang will force himself to finish every bit of food, even at his own detriment. She’s so selfless it causes others to worry.

“Oh… Is that so…?” The Empress Dowager’s heart ached. Now that she looked closer, she found Wei Qiang was practically being worn by his mourning clothes. “Xiao Qiang, grandmother will send you some medicine later.”

Wei Qiang immediately placed his palm to the back of his other hand and bowed. “This one is grateful for Your Majesty’s grace.”

“There is no need to speak formally, we are your family, so be comfortable.”

“This— I-I will do as… imperial grandmother wishes…” Wei Qiang had not received such favor in his past life. He was the one who took the liberty to call the Empress Dowager “imperial grandmother” after seeing his siblings do so. I must have really been an eyesore back then.

The Empress Dowager could not blame Wei Qiang for speaking stiffly, but she also could not help being saddened by the obvious distance between her and her grandchild. 

Suddenly, she had an idea, “Xiao Qiang, it might be a little sudden, but these are your siblings,” She will be more relaxed if it’s with people in her age range. She gestured to the Wei family’s oldest child who sat straight and undisturbed as a bamboo. “he is Wei Taio, your older brother. There is only a two year difference between the both of you.” Wei Taio was mindful and graced Wei Qiang with a charming smile. Next, the Empress Dowager introduced, “Wei Peizhi is your younger sister. The difference between you two is only a year.”

Wei Peizhi looked Wei Qiang over, then turned her head with a harrumph. 

The Empress Dowager frowned. “Junzhu[2], what sort of attitude are you showing your older sister?”

²Junzhu: Princess of the third rank

“Imperial mother, do not take Zhi’Er’s actions to heart.” As always, Princess Zhongcheng was quick to defend her daughter. “Zhi’Er has always had a willful nature and is only acting this way out of shyness!”

Wei Taio sighed into his tea cup. After watching in silence for just a short amount of time, he could tell his grandmother already made room in her heart for Wei Qiang. In that case, it’s a matter of attacking the heart itself. “Wei Qiang, please do not be offended.” His voice was sweet as honey with an undertone of helplessness that would make others unconsciously pity him. “I promise our little sister is actually very goodnatured but behaves like a hedgehog when she feels incapable.”

“…” Wei Qiang felt sick. The wrongness was stirring in his guts. 

There’s a saying in the Yuxuan empire; Even wasps can be soft bees, and a knife will be a feather when one has had enough wine. 

It’s a sad thing that he had to be reborn to get the wine out of his veins. When Wei Qiang looked at his family, he saw something so ugly and horrid he wanted to bleed his veins to wipe his connection to them. 

Even when he was obviously disrespected, Princess Zhongcheng did not think to apologize to him once but leaped to deliver Wei Peizhi from trouble. Wei Taio, who was always so kind and virtuous in his mind, was trying to have Wei Qiang bury the matter— leaving him to be a fool that cannot fight for his own dignity. And, as always, Wei Zhang was on the sidelines, an apologetic look denoting guilt— guilt so shallow even a bug would find it hard to drown in it. 

Look! The wrongness said, These are the people you were even willing to die for! Good, Wei Qiang, very good. You truly did justice to your grandfather’s efforts!

There was bile in his throat, a desire to shrink out of existence, a need to rip his clothes open and tear the wrongness from his chest.

Through it all, Wei Qiang bit his tongue till he tasted iron, then smiled pleasantly. “I am only meeting you all for the first time… I suppose it cannot be helped if she feels that way.”

Wei Taio’s smile faltered a little. “Yes… thank you for understanding.” Wei Qiang’s words certainly sounded forgiving, but it also felt a little passive-aggressive. He tacitly searched Wei Qiang but not much could be told from a smile alone. I’m probably overthinking. 

“Hexie Junzhu,” With two words, the Emperor’s presence took over the hall. 

Whilst Wei Peizhi could behave however she wished with others, her imperial uncle is a hardline she dared not cross. 

He commonly referred to her by her title, but today her beloved title was said with unhidden irritation within an otherwise indifferent tone. 

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty.” She croaked. 

“As a Princess what would you say for yourself if others saw you behaving so impertinently towards your older sister?” His eyes were like anvils on each of her shoulders. The longer he looked, the more Wei Peizhi felt her shoulders slumping. “Your sister has not had the privilege of being spoiled by your parents, do not create situations in which they could be unfair to her.”

While saying the last part, the Emperor briefly looked over Princess Zhongcheng and Wei Zhang. They immediately knew this was also the Emperor telling them to not play favorites between their children.

Wei Peizhi‘s eyes filled with tears, her hands gripping her skirt with the most pitiful expression. 

The Emperor sighed. Just that and she’s already crying. He pushed out of his seat. “Imperial mother, Zhen has some things to hear from Eunuch Kwong and will be leaving first.” 

The Empress Dowager knew no one would be able to relax while her son was in such a mood. “Then go. Thank you for making time today.”

The rest also stood, bowing after the Emperor to wish him farewell. 

Even with the Emperor gone, the atmosphere was still tense. When no one moved to comfort Wei Peizhi, her soft sniffles soon became sobs. 

Wei Taio realized he had miscalculated. It’s not just imperial grandmother that has put that girl in their heart. He thought the Emperor appeared today to show the Empress Dowager courtesy, but it was actually to give Wei Qiang face. 

The family reunion ended rather poorly.