Yokoso-san arrived.

 

“UFUFUFUFU≈”

 

I had to squint. Yokoso-san was shining brightly. Her feathery wings encompassed us like a holy protector. Yokoso-san was… truly an angel.

 

…If only the Mitsa couple could see the truth…

 

“N-Nani?!”

“An angel? No way… to fight this devil woman?!”

“A-Ano, Yoko—”

“BE NOT AFRAID.”

 

No, Yokoso-san, I’m actually rather confused instead.

 

We didn’t even notice that we had been teleported to an all-white room. A third eye opened up on Yokoso-san’s forehead.

For some reason, it really suits her, huh… Ah, did I really just have that thought?

Ah, our table got teleported in with us. Juan-san scooped up more omurice, but his eyes were still glued to Yokoso-san. I looked at her, and she gave me a wry smile. Maybe she had some sort of amazing plan?

Wait, how did she teleport us here? Wasn’t that, like, expensive? Ah, no, if it’s her, she probably made Pouko cough the money up…

 

She froze up.

 

It was as if something possessed her. Even if I know it’s her, it’s really unsettling, you know!

Her mouth wasn’t moving when she spoke.

 

“ISSUING HOLY DIRECTIVE UPDATE.”

 

She simply looked on, almost listlessly, as if her boss just called her up on her day off because someone else skimped on the job.

Sister Eve and Juan-san were trembling. If Yokoso-san was planning on giving them faked instructions from “Heaven,” I think it’s working! Or at least, it looks like they’re taking things seriously.

I mean, just look, poor Juan-san couldn’t bring the spoonful of omurice to his opened mouth. He was just frozen there like some sort of Jolly Bae ad poster.

 

“UNROOT THE COMMON CORRUPTION. FORCES LURK WITHIN AND WITHOUT. HOLY DIRECTIVE UPDATED. RESUMING.”

 

I thought something else would happen, but just like that, we were returned to the restaurant. It was as if time had always been where we’d left it. Yokoso-san was nowhere in sight, and the omurice fell from Juan-san’s spoon. Sister Eve, even with her mind blown away, reflexively caught it with her spoon, not letting even a single grain hit the table.

 

"“Tenshi…”" they said in low, disbelieving voices.

“No, even if you say that…”

“How can Hero-sama not believe?!” Sister Eve slammed her hands on the table as she stood up.

“That’s right! Rather, are we not all Heroes here? We all know Heaven exists!” Juan-san followed after his wife and slammed the table, standing up in the same beat.

 

Then, that was when their hands met. They froze and looked at each other straight in the eye. Then they hurriedly looked away with a ‘Hmph!’ from both sides.

 

You’re both blushing, you know? These two, I swear…

 

“M- Maa, let’s finish up with our lunch first…”

"“No, yeah, he’s right.”"

Their omurice meals were still very much intact.

“And then maybe we can continue the interview—”

"“As if!”"

 

 

 

We briskly finished our lunch after that. I was impressed by how Sister Eve managed to eat only the rice and leave the ketchup untouched. Sou—she expertly left a single layer of rice underneath the ketchup to support it!

In an era of siege warfare, I don’t think any castle wall would have been able to stand up to her sheer talent at digging underneath things with peerless precision. Rather, it’s sad that such a skill has been converted into such a uselessly-impressive skill as being able to eat around ketchup art in three dimensions.

“A- Anyway, about a while ago…”

“Ah, you don’t want to do the interview, Hero-sama?”

“Eh? Eve-san, we can do that later!”

“I- I see…”

Why are you disappointed?

“I’m a Hero too, you know? I can’t just ignore that weirdness that happened.”

“Hero-sama mentioned that it wasn’t an angel,” Juan-san remarked, wiping his mouth with a paper towel, “But I—no, we are sure that it was really an angel.”

 

Ah, you know, come to think of it, if I denied that Yokoso-san was an angel, then that would also mean that Sister Eve and Juan-san would have one less thing to agree on, huh? Ehh, we really don’t want the two of them fighting, though, otherwise our plan won’t work.

Amazing, so Yokoso-san set herself up as a unifying figure, huh?

 

“W-Well, assuming she really was, what would you do?”

My question somehow managed to paralyze Juan-san. He didn’t seem to be someone who thinks that far ahead. Sister Eve spoke up first.

“The first thing the angel said was ‘Unroot the common corruption,’ and then the second thing was ‘Forces lurk within and without.’”

She leaned forward and rested her chin on her hands. A grim veil overtook her face. A buffering animation spun around Juan-san’s head for about five seconds before he spoke.

“You don’t think…” Juan-san shared the sentiment.

“Indeed. There is an evil lurking between our organizations.”

“And she even said ‘common corruption’ which means… It is manipulating the both of us?”

 

Whoaa, amazing, they came to that conclusion on their own! Rather, it’s actually somewhat scary that as long as it’s anything angel-like, they’d immediately believe it, huh?

Well, I guess the third eye kinda gave it a more realistic feeling, giving off something like a “Heaven isn’t something you Humans can comprehend” kind of feeling. It’s important to be slightly out of people’s expectations to be believable, after all.

Though, if I didn’t know it was Yokoso-san, I would have been playing devil’s advocate so hard, I’d show up in the global leaderboards.

 

“Ne, isn’t that actually serious?” I said, feigning ignorance.

"“Very.”"

I can feel Yokoso-san going Ufufufu that’s it, keep playing them, Akiino from somewhere.

 

(Meanwhile)

Oh wow, the keikaku ended up progressing smoother than intended…

 

"“Hero-sama!”"

The both of them faced me with serious expressions.

“W-What is it—”

Juan-san, who was sitting beside me, somehow somersaulted to Sister Eve’s side so they were both facing me. At that moment, they both stood up, then bowed down so hard that their heads hit the table with enough force to cause a small shockwave.

Of course, the other restaurant goers always had hearing protection enabled, even indoors. I’m pretty sure the shockwave registered as a gunshot, as none of them batted an eye our way.

The table was considered an indestructible object, so the worst thing that happened was that we looked kinda weird.

 

"“Please, help us unroot the corruption!”"

 

The heck, that sounds too dramatic.

 

I should say yes—rather, the objective was to bring them over to our side eventually, but should I delay my response a little bit to be more convincing about it? Maa, I’m already known to delay my responses to things, so might as well.

Ah, I’ll throw in some filler dialogue, too.

 

“Well, looking at things, the people at the Revivalist and Obstructionist Churches have treated me well so far…”

The two of them looked up at me.

“I can’t say that I don’t want to, because you’re good people after all, and if someone’s putting you two at each others’ throats and stopping you from being friends, then that’s not a good thing for good people to go through, isn’t it?”

"“Hero-sama…”"

After addressing me with gentleness, Sister Eve’s eyes suddenly sharpened, and I felt the metaphorical knife against my throat.

“Hero-sama, did you just say ‘putting you two at each others’ throats’? What made you say that?”

 

Ah, I gave it away!

 

After making use of Time Out for a minute of me-time, I finally came up with a semi-convincing reply. Hopefully.

 

“Huh? A- Ah, well, you see, from the beginning, I thought that it was weird that Heroes would be fighting each other in the first place. At first I thought that it was a misunderstanding, but then after a while ago, I guess, I’m more suspicious now that maybe you’re being manipulated to fight each other?”

I scratched my cheek saying “Maybe, maybe not” and being generally noncomittal.

 

H-Hey, something’s weird with Sister Eve.

 

She bowed down again with the force of a hand grenade!

“I PLEDGE MY ALLEGIANCE TO THE HERO-SAMA OF WISDOM!”

No, of course, I was shocked—no, I was shocked.

“Eh?! Sister Eve-san?!”

She looked up, but not to me. She looked up to Juan-san who was still processing things. The moment he met Sister Eve’s eyes, however…

“AH!”

He shouted, before he attacked the table with his forehead as well!

“MY PITIFUL BRAIN CELLS HAVE ONLY REALIZED NOW WHAT HERO-SAMA HAD REALIZED THE FIRST DAY WE LOCKED EYES!”

“Eh? Juan-san, we never locked eyes, though? Also, I didn’t realize it that fast?!”

“I, TOO, PLEDGE MY ALLEGIANCE TO THE HERO-SAMA WHO SEES THE TRUTH OF THINGS!” he continued.

 

 

Like that, I suddenly had more employees than Yokoso-san.

…And I’m not that smart, you know!