Chapter 18

Nikola set his hands in a prayer but he couldn’t say any of the words he had known from when he was a little child visiting church on Sundays. He was angry. He needed guidance. Vampire were real. And fairies and werewolves. Bogeymen stalked the shadows. Fucking Slender man lived a block away from his apartment building and in his mind. The Devil was real and begging on his knees right in front of a broken alter right in front of his eyes as he tried to pray.

So was God real too? Malkav was an angel so they existed too and if they did why shouldn’t God be real? Although Malkav got cursed with vampirism so God didn’t give a hoot about his own first creations, did he? Oh sure, Malkav might have deserved it. He had been pretty fast to forbid him to research the Book of Enoch to hide the fuckery explained within but he was still an angel and he should have been forgiven. He should have been delivered, not cursed with madness. And Vasilisa…

Beautiful, angelic Vasilisa. Cruel and powerful Vasilisa. A sinner and a victim all in one Vasilisa. He hit the bench and it splintered. He went and kneeled next to the Devil and bowed his head before beginning his very own prayer.

“Dear God, do you hear me? I have never talked to you before so I don’t know how this goes but I will give it a shot. If Satan can talk to you and have hope you will save him then can’t I?”

Satan stopped his own conversation with God to stare at him. He put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a couple of pats but didn’t say anything.

“Dear God where were you when Dimitri walked into my life and turned it into a nightmare? I didn’t go to church more than twice a year, true, but I was good! I helped old ladies carry their grocery bags. I walked the dog of my invalid neighbor. I volunteered and donated to fucking soup kitchens!”

Satan gave a whistle at that and moved away from him. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like doormat but didn’t try to stop Nikola from talking. Nikola balled his fists and continued on.

“Dear God why don’t you answer? So you can send lightning but can’t be bothered with a face to face with a believer? WELL FUCK YOU! Where were you when I needed you to save me? Where were you when Dimitri started bringing his victims home? Where were you when he raped me and then Malkav muscled his way into my life after him? HUH?”

The Devil looked at him with eyes the size of saucers. He gave Nikola’s back a couple of extra pats before opening his mouth to speak. Nikola wiped his head towards him and bared his fangs. Satan shut his mouth.

“Dear God I am talking with you with the Devil right next to me. He lives in my head now. How could you let it happen? Do you listen to him trying to negotiate with you all day long? Are you laughing your ass off at him? Are you laughing your ass off at ME?”

Nikola buried his face in his hands and felt that the Devil had returned his hand on his back. “Get thee behind me Satan” indeed.

“Dear God I understand you don’t care about what I was put through but how can you call yourself benevolent when you let me fall from grace so hard? I kill now. I am cursed. I harm others. Why did you let me turn into a disgusting monster? Why are you letting me walk the good Earth? WHY DON’T YOU SMITE ME SO I CAN’T FALL FURTHER? Why do you refuse to save my soul? SMITE ME, YOU BASTARD! I DESERVE IT! I HATE MYSELF! AND I HATE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

Nikola started laughing with fucking Satan still supporting his back. Oh the picture they made.

“Dear God I am supposed to fear you but you haven’t said shit! You don’t deserve my fear and obedience. You don’t deserve my anything. But do you know what the worst transgression of yours that I know of is? IT’S YOUR VERY EXISTANCE AND INACTION! You didn’t act when you saw what happened to Vasilisa. You didn’t act when you saw what happened to Malkav. WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU EXISTING? ARE YOU HERE ONLY TO LORD OVER US? WELL TO HELL WITH YOU! HOPE I NEVER GET TO HEAVEN’S GATES BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN IF I DO! I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR LILITH. I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR CAINE. I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR EVERY SHIT YOU PULLED IN THE BLOODY BIBLE! I WILL MAKE YOU CURE MALKAV AS YOU LAY BROKEN AND FALLEN. I WILL MAKE YOU LOOK AT VASILISA UNTIL YOU FINALLY LEARN REMORSE. AND THEN I WILL DO DIABLERIE ON YOU. IF YOU EVEN HAVE A HEART, DEAR GOD. COUNT ME OUT OF YOUR FLOCK, BASTARD.”

The Devil began clapping and whistling a strange swing tune as he watched Nikola’s chests rise and fall angrily. There was no going back now. He wasn’t a part of a religion just like Caine had commanded in his laws. He turned towards the Devil and the Devil stared back.

“Are you done, kiddo? Because that was one of the best prayers to me I have ever heard. You could have done with less screaming but otherwise everything was spot on. And the threat was a nice touch. You will never manage to go through with it. I have laid siege on heaven many times but never managed to so much as see it’s gates. The feathered fucks are quite the berserkers. You excommunicated yourself just now. Why not join my flock? You’d like my bible too. It is all about self-love and making your enemies piss themselves. What do you say, kiddo? Will you buy what I am selling?”

The Devil stood up and went in front of the broken alter and extended his hand to Nikola. Nikola barked a bitter laugh.

“You came a bit later to my wedding so you must not have heard but I already sold my soul to Vasilisa. I have nothing to offer you.”

Satan gave a pout but didn’t pull his hand away. His tail flicked and lightly hit Nikola on the nose.

“Boo, so what? I don’t want to be judged by my rival in Heaven if you die so you can count on me anyway. Why not be partners, kiddo? People sell the souls of their firstborns for the privilege to lick my hoofs, you know? This is a one in eternity kind of deal. Take it or leave it.”

“Can’t you at least make a selling pitch first? I am done with blind faith, Lucifer.”

The tail hit his nose again and Satan frowned at him.

“Do I look like a blonde feathered fuck, kiddo? His name means shining one and he is just that. Do I fucking look like I sparkle? You all think that I am one and the same with that spoiled brat that I let him in hell when he was kicked out of home for not babysitting Adam and his little shits! Loving his father above anything else my ass. His corner of hell is filled with mirrors so that he can look at his own behind all the time! Don’t compare me to him ever again or we will have problems, kiddo!”

Nikola gave a chuckle at the mental image and smirked up at Satan.

“So his ass is so fine you put up with him, huh? Baba Yaga will be heartbroken.”

“Don’t mention that hag to me! And angels are something else. But you know all about that, don’t you? Even though yours really pissed off the Big Boss with the shit he pulled while on babysitting duty. Have you ever heard of Giants? Ya, they were real and your Malkav liked being their daddy with hot human women. He is the reason for the flood and the almost extinction of all life from the planet. And the things he has been doing ever since his mind cleared? Let us just say I am a fan and leave it at that.”

“I am still waiting for you to tell me that you will convince me to follow you instead of demanding it of me. I could always worship rocks and paintings like the prehistoric people. I don’t need you.”

The Devil gave a sigh and pulled Nikola off of his knees and dusted him off. Then he draped an arm over his shoulders and began to lead them out of the church.

“Oh that is where you are wrong, kiddo. You came here because you needed your faith restored. I don’t want to hear why. I don’t pretend to care unlike certain entities. You want a selling pitch? Well here goes. I can restore your faith in you. I can teach you to celebrate your own desires. I can show you the fine line between goodness and evil. And who better to teach you than the one who runs a prison and torture service and does the sorting of who deserves it and who doesn’t? But I suppose you can always find a sharp multicolored rock, name it Walter, and bow down to it three times a day while you whine to it how your life sucks.”

Nikola didn’t know when but he had began smiling. Satan had a sense of humor. And what he offered was what he needed. He could always get himself a pet rock and do what Satan told him to with it. But knowing his life someone will come along and smash it and then he would have to mourn poor Walter.

“Ok, I’m game. But I draw the line on reading your bible. Someone else wrote it, right? I want to learn about my new religion from the source.”

Satan hit him over the head with his tail before tugging his right ear.

“It’s not a religion, kiddo. It’s a way of life. A philosophy so to speak. Sigh. You have questions about life? Well, fine, I’ll answer to the best of my abilities but I make no promises that you will like the answer. But if you are to follow me there is one rule. You have to be honest with yourself. Now let us give it a shot. What are you? And I am not talking about your species. I am talking about your self.”

Nikola stopped to think and the Devil stopped with him. He knew what he had been before. And he forced himself to make judgement on his past actions. With a resolve that came from his soul he looked up into the Devil’s eyes and gave his answer.

“A monster.”

The Devil gave him an approving look and got them past the threshold of the church.

“I think so too. You will burn in Hell when you kick the bucket, make no mistake. But as far as monsters go you are at chaotic neutral level. And since you are squeamish about harming children and are not afraid of your own remorse I doubt you will sink lower, kiddo.”

“You know, Satan, I feel better now. You are not as evil as Sunday school made you out to be.”

“I’m awesome, I know. But you went to Sunday school, kiddo? No wonder you used to be such a wimp and have an existential crisis now. I’ve decided. You are my prophet from now on. It’s not like I can speak to anyone ever since that hag Baba Yaga found out I’ve been sending out distressed signals and had the two priests of this place muffle my pentagrams. I will speak through you and I wouldn’t even make you smoke weed. Unless you want to? You vampires like to stimulate your brains with things that can pass by your barf anything human disability.”

“No, I like my mind nice and clear. Does this prophet gig mean I will get an easier time in hell, boss?”

Satan barked a laugh and clapped him so hard on his back that Nikola stumbled.

“Boss! I like you, kiddo. And no. I will send you to the front lines of the border between Hell and Heaven and you will spend eternity battling and getting slapped around by feathered fucks. But at least you won’t be tortured by me. You’d be surprised at the pure genius that angels have when it comes to torturing. And when they find out how you threated their daddy? Kiddo, I don’t want to be you. Now let us go to my preferred satanic churches and have a heart to heart about your sucky life.”

The satanic “churches” turned out to be a bar craw where Satan got himself wasted and Nikola had to support him while his new boss kept telling him how he missed his dear Lucy who took over Hell in his absence.

While they were hopping from bar to bar Satan and he spoke. Nikola found out that all of his memories were up for public viewing, well apart from the times he had sex which Vasilisa kept for private use. The Devil knew of all his problems. He talked to him about how to fight back against life while staying true to his principle. He also told him to get his head out of his ass and start loving himself because if he doesn’t the people who loved him will start hating him too.

It all sounded simple when the Devil said it but Nikola still found it an impossible task. But he had hope that he could manage, somehow. He had the luxury of knowing what will happen in his life thanks to Flavius and now he knew what will happen once he lands in Hell thanks to Satan. There was a comfort in having a purpose.

He returned back to Vasilisa smelling of cigar smoke and went to tiredly lay by his side. Nikola couldn’t muster up the strength to look him in the eyes.

“Fly, I know you went to the church. Did you find the answers you were looking for?”

“Sort of, Vasilisa. I, well, I am working for Satan now.”

Vasilisa broke in a fit of giggles. He was still in his female form but his hair was let out of it’s braid. It covered his back like a soft golden silk drape. Nikola found himself wanting to pet it but remembered how Vasilisa had asked him to look past his beauty. He felt shame at his shallowness.

“Ya, it’s kind of funny, isn’t it? But he is a good judge of character and doesn’t sugar coat things. I needed someone to call me out on my bullshit. How was your day, Vasilisa?”

The blonde grabbed a comb from the bedside table and gave it to Nikola. He obliged him and began to run it in the soft hair.

“It was a good day today. I went out to the ancient version of Rome on Baba Yaga’s flying mortar. The Ventrue love it there. They go around in togas and reminiscence about the good old days. It is their version of heaven. The Brujah tried to bully me about recreating Carthage but I had none of it and kicked plenty of them out. So now those that are left live side by side with the Ventrue in Rome and wage war with them over it. It is amusing to watch.”

“I’m glad you like it here, Vasilisa. You deserve a golden web to move around in.”

Vasilisa leaned into his back and hummed in agreement. Nikola set the comb aside and embraced him.

“Vasilisa I’ve been thinking. Can you bring Malkav and Dimitri here too as I sleep? If you were still alive I would have feared they would attack you but since you are dead and control everything here I know you won’t let it happen. I’d like for us all to be together.”

“I won’t let it happen, yes, but won’t you protect me if my powers slip? I have never fought an angel before. And if I couldn’t defeat you how do I defeat your sire, husband?”

“It goes without question! I will fight tooth and nail for you. Because you have…damn how do I say this without hurting your pride?”

Vasilisa turned around in his arms and gave him a feather light kiss. He wanted to return it but then he remembered Vasilisa’s story and felt like a thief for even thinking it. He didn’t know anything about Vasilisa but what he had told him earlier.

Except that wasn’t true, was it? He knew Vasilisa loved his long hair. He adored having flowers in it, fresh ones every day. He should have picked some for him instead of crying over himself like usual. Vasilisa liked herbs in his blood and he liked to crush them himself. Nikola had passed by a very busy herbal shop on his bar hopping. He should buy some and force himself to eat them here in the dream so that his blood can be to Vasilisa’s taste. It was the least he could do for him after…after…

Vasilisa gave a sigh and slapped his face. He gave his other cheek a slap too.

“You pity me now, no? I didn’t tell you my life story to be pitied, but to be understood. You have no right to act saintly and pure now after what you did. Now that you know that there are other vampires molded by life just like you will you continue your Jihad? Do you see now that our lives are worth living too, fly? And don’t just use my name when you refer to me. I know you mean spider as an insult but I take it as a compliment.”

Nikola leaned down and rested his head onto Vasilisa’s chest. He was now in a tight fitting gray silk nightgown with long sleeves that were split at the middle. Why did Vasilisa made it so hard for him by being so breathtaking? He couldn’t think straight. He had seen a picture of Lucifer that Satan had shown him to brag, supposedly the most handsome angel of all, and he paled in comparison to Vasilisa in either of his forms. How does he see past such blinding light and into the darkness beneath? He didn’t want to anyway but he had to. He wouldn’t be like the cursed villagers who had gotten easy and had long since rotted in Hell while Vasilisa was still plagued by his memories.

“I can’t help pitying you, spider. You are too tragic for words.”

He was slapped two more times and then Vasilisa broke his nose for good measure. He reached out and set it back in place. It didn’t hurt as much as it should and it healed instantly.

“Keep hitting me all you want if it makes you feel better, Vasilisa. But I can’t fix what I did. I’m sorry. I can only try to do better by you from now on. And even now I know I will fail most of the time. You deserve to be put first but I will always put Malkav and his health first. You deserve to be loved first but I will always love Dimitri more than you. You deserve a friend but I already have Vanya and Matthew and don’t have enough space in my heart for more. You deserve to be given much but I can’t give you anything at all but my wretched soul. It’s not enough and it won’t bring you back to life but after you take it I will have nothing left at all. I don’t even have a beast in me to make me forget my humanity so I can’t ever be the way you want me to be. And I can’t see past your looks, either. I’m the lowest of the low, I know. But I am more yours than I am anyone else’s. Take me or leave me.”

Hands wrapped around his neck and he was being chocked again. He heard a snap before he felt how twisted his neck was. He didn’t even whimper at that as he watched Vasilisa’s angry expression.

“Stupid fly you still don’t understand! I want everything. I already know I deserve it and not because of what happened to me but because of my power. Power which I earned! Why can’t you respect that and give up, already? Do you want me to put you in a coma until you understand? I AM NOT HUMAN! I AM DEAD! I WANT REVENGE, FOOL. I want you to suffer, not to heal. And that is what you have been doing ever since you killed me. Why can’t I heal too? How come you aren’t healing me instead of forcing me to remember how good people who are treated like humans have it? I want you in the shade with me but you keep tugging us to the light! It won’t kill you to be more like me! How many times do I have to eat from your heart before you get it? What do you think now that you know I was used? That I don’t value my pretty face? What do I have apart from it? Even you can’t see anything but it! Husband answer me! And I swear to your new friend Satan that I will beat you black and blue if you say one more stupid thing!”

Nikola remained silent as Vasilisa searched his face for something, anything. to make him justify lashing out.

“Are you giving me the silent treatment? Now that I am making myself as strong as you physically and you can’t push me around are you afraid of me? Well about time! I love your fear, fly!”

“Liar”

Nikola said it before he registered saying it. Vasilisa’s fist stopped inches from his nose.

“How dare you talk back to me?! I am a Methuselah! It doesn’t matter how many diableries you do it would take you centuries to reach my level of power. But thanks to your manipulation you now have my power to draw from. You won the fucking lottery, fly. Are you happy?”

“I’ve never been more miserable, Vasilisa. I don’t like it when you are hurting. And if your beast is slipping into your voice then…”

Vasilisa gave an unhuman roar and Nikola felt pain in his ears. So he had busted his eardrums again. Vasilisa kept screaming at him and hitting the mattress but he couldn’t hear him. He felt something mending in his ears and he suddenly could hear again. He had been such a beaten ragdoll that he healed in a blink now. He was still weak.

“…all I want is for you to love me back, bastard. Why can’t you? I want to kill your two other loves so much it hurts but that would hurt you and then I would hurt more. Why do you keep hurting me without any effort on your part? Why can’t we be just like we were at the beginning when we were both drunk on each other’s vitae? I will force a blood bond on you and toy with you to get what I want from you! Don’t think I won’t do it if you don’t forget everyone else you hold dear! You…you…”

Nikola laid down on the bed and stared up into the ceiling. He put the sheets over himself and waited for more abuse to exit from Vasilisa’s mouth.

“What are you doing now, fly? Get up and be a man while I am talking to you!”

Nikola gave an exhausted sigh and ran his hand through his hair. It had gotten longer as Vasilisa didn’t let him cut in back at the hut and had been too busy hunting the blonde after that for him to stop and trim it. If Vasilisa knew that he was thinking about his hair instead of his words right now maybe he would really kill them and end it all.

“I am waiting for you to beat me black and blue, spider. I’ve already had this type of shit from Dimitri and I know from my experience with him that there is no point in trying to stand in the way of a raging beast. You must have seen what happened when I tried to stop him from hunting the first time. So go ahead and prove to me that you are just like him. Maybe if you abuse me enough I might come to love you like you want me to. It worked for him so go ahead and try your luck. Better yet make me helplessly human while I am here and do to me what he did. I have no choice but to let you.”

Vasilisa began to shake him. He felt his power slip from his limbs just like he had suggested. But what would it matter? He was going to wake up no matter what Vasilisa threatened him with. He had survived Dimitri and could spend up to seven months without sleep. If he took it easy he could last even longer. He would just lay down and take whatever was dished out but he would not hate Vasilisa like the vampire wanted him to. He was so tired of hating.

“Quit comparing me to your Dimitri! I am better than him! I have never and I will never rape you!”

“Why don’t you ask yourself why, Vasilisa? You want to, I know. You are evil and you hide it behind your angelic image. I have never seen anyone that can best you in looks. I feel sick with myself for saying that after hearing about what happened to you as a child but there, I said it. I want you to be beautiful like a fairytale on the inside just like you are on the outside but you are...”

His jaw was suddenly broken mid-sentence but it righted itself instantly. So Vasilisa wanted him to heal the damage as soon as it was dealt but remain weak in his arms? Literary beat his point across? Fine, he won’t complain.

“I am not going to rape you because you…and I…You know it will break my heart! I want to eat you while you are willing so stop resisting! Trample on your stupid morals for me! Develop a beast for me! I demand it! I need it! Give me what you own me, darn you! Make me feel alive again!”

Nikola exhaled and folded his hands over his chest calmly. He looked up at Vasilisa but he couldn’t resist the temptation of running his fingers through the blonde’s golden hair. Vasilisa tore out his fingers from the hair and broke them one by one and left them unhealed. Nikola took his hand back and resumed staring at the ceiling.

“I’d rather you remain dead and human than become an even bigger monster myself for the sake of you feeling alive. Sorry not sorry.”

“You think I am human now? This is my beast talking! You would have known if you have one! This is why everyone keeps using and abusing you! You are not a saint but you act the part because you think you should. And you never learn. I can’t believe I let someone as stupid as you trick me into love!”

“Oh I know I’m stupid for a vampire. But ignorance is bliss and I am not faking mine. And despite everything I am still happier than the average vampire. I’m sorry but you can’t take this from me.”

Vasilisa took his hand and snapped his broken fingers back in place and they mended on their own. Nikola just knew that the lovely blonde would cave at the sight of them eventually. Vasilisa gave his hand a few soft rubs and Nikola felt his power return to him. Vasilisa had tried to imitate Dimitri from the start of this game time and time again but couldn’t pull through with the emotional abuse the way the Romanian had before he caved.

Vasilisa laid down next to him and changed into his male form and pulled him to his chest while he huffed. Nikola wondered if he would ever see the lovely woman again. He felt sad at the prospect of never feasting his eyes on her ever again.

“So this is all I have now, fly? You won’t give me more? Well guess again. As soon as you go back to your two loves I will see them for real and then I will manage to pull them here with me. I won’t hurt them, no. I will steal their adoration from you and make you beg for the scraps of the table. You said yourself I am the most beautiful of all. Far more pleasing to the eye than you. I will cheat on you with them all the time and only make love to you when I feel like it. Let’s see how warm your fucking humanity can keep you at night when your husbands are busy fucking me!”

Nikola turned around and ignored the warning snarl as he started petting Vasilisa’s hair. Why did all vampires bar him had to be such monsters? Suddenly he was very grateful he didn’t have a beast eating at his sanity.

“It won’t be cheating, Vasilisa. I will gladly share Malkav and Dimitri with you and I am sure you will be able to seduce them in time. I also know that you will never kick me out of the bedroom while you are with them. Lie if you want but it’s the truth.”

“You think that you know everything, don’t you, fly? What happened to your precious ignorance?”

Nikola placed a soft kiss on the man’s earlobe and resumed the soft petting. Vasilisa relaxed into his arms.

“Do I act like I deserve to be blissful in everything? Spider I spend the whole day speaking to Satan about my problems. I am as light as a feather. Don’t you want to be too?”

Vasilisa pushed him away and sat up in bed. He snapped his fingers and a black suit appeared on a chair. Thinking it was for him Nikola got up and reached for it but Vasilisa beat him to it and began to dress in it. Then the blonde send him a backwards glance, grimaced, and snapped his fingers again.

Nikola raised an eyebrow at what he was seeing. It was normal clothes for once. A nice white sweater, underwear, and comfy looking pair of black pants. He looked up at Vasilisa as he began to dress too.

“I was going to give you a dress, fly. I figured since you refused to wear the pants in this relationship you might as well dress the part. But that is something Dimitri would have forced you to do. And I am better than both your husbands combined! Because I am your wife and we had a wedding and I love you and if I could I would have given you a child in my female form for you to love and so I can see firsthand how parents treat their child right. But I am dead and a vampire besides so I failed to get pregnant and I took it out on you. Now stop gaping at me and get dressed. I am taking you on a date in your hometown. At the restaurant were your father proposed to your mother. And we are going to have a pleasant time dining on empty plates and I will let you be as human as your heart is. You survived Dimitri, cured Malkav and escaped my web. You get to have it all. Congratulations.”

Nikola made a couple hesitant steps forward towards Vasilisa as the man was tying his shoes. He reached his shoulder and griped it gently. He didn’t need to see his own face to know that he was smiling from ear to ear.

“You tried to give us a child?”

Vasilisa brushed his hand away with an annoyed huff.

“Was that the only part you heard from what I said, Nikola? You are the worst husband there is!”

“And you just said my name…” Managed to utter Nikola in amazement. He was rewarded with another annoyed huff.

“Well that is what names are for, aren’t they? Now quit smiling like a loon or I will…never mind, just get dressed already!”

“As you command, dear heart.”

Vasilisa finished tying his shoes and exited the room with a loud bang. Nikola followed him soon after and when he went down the stairs Vasilisa was waiting for him impatiently by the front door with a bouquet of white orchids wrapped in black paper and tied up with a blood red ribbon. As soon as he reached Vasilisa’s side the blonde pushed the flowers into his arms and turned his back to him. Then he opened the door and held it open for Nikola.

Nikola was grinning again as he stepped outside and suddenly he was in front of his parent’s house. He blinked a couple of times at it, drinking up the details of it.

They had a pleasant, albeit quiet, date. Then Vasilisa took them both to a jewelry shop and picked a ring for Nikola and looked at him expectantly until Nikola got the hint and picked one for him too. They went back home and fell in bed and cuddled. Vasilisa sang him to sleep and when he finally drifted to sleep he woke up in his hotel room. The new ring was on his finger right next to the one that Dimitri had given him.

But how? Just how powerful was Vasilisa now? He heard a giggle and decided he didn’t want to know the answer to that. He turned towards the bedside table to get his phone and saw the bouquet Vasilisa had given him lying on it. A shudder went up his spine at the implication and he picked his phone and saw what day it was.

It was still Wednesday and his flight was on Sunday. He went to drink a bottle of blood, showered and went back to bed. Vasilisa didn’t pull him to him and for the first time ever since the Methuselah had taken residence in his head he dreamed properly for a time.

Satan didn’t show him the same courtesy as Vasilisa and soon they were sitting in an office of sorts with Satan being behind the desk. There was a photo of Lucifer wrapped around a stripping pole dressed only in lingerie. He stared at the photo, then at Satan, then back at the photo.

He repeated the motion until the Devil snapped his fingers at him to get his attention before speaking.

“Stop eye fucking my lover, kiddo. It is work time, mister dark prophet. Now since I can’t talk to my followers anymore you need to do it for me. Here is a list of everyone you need to contact, how to contact them and what to tell them. Take a good look so Vasilisa can help you with it. Well get to it!”

Nikola woke up with a start after reading the list and he went to the bathroom in a daze and there was a pentagram drawled on the wall. He poked it a couple of times and found that it was solid. He was just about to ask himself who could have painted it but then he heard another giggle. Right, stupid question.

He tried to remember anything from the list but came up blank. He stared in the mirror and gave a whine before he spoke to himself.

“Vasilisa a little help here. You are the one with the list.”

“Right first is a vampire by the name of Adriano Medici. Yes, the Medici. He is from the Giovanni clan so be careful how you speak to him. You are supposed to tell him that Satan is displeased at him for what he did last week with the corpse of one of your overlord’s demons. The password is chicken nuggets.”

Nikola said the password and waited for the Giovanni to answer him. Just as it was lighting up he noticed how dark it was getting in the room. He then did a facepalm at his own lack of manners.

“Thank you for helping me with this, spider.”

“You are welcomed, fly.”

The room brightened again. Right Vasilisa had all of his former magical powers and he was using Satan to fuel them. He was so screwed.