As I read the message sent to me by the 7 lords, my teeth grit in anger and frustration. “How dare they try to tell me what to do! I’m the most powerful cultivator in the world!” The lords of the 7 cults dare order me to give up my land and my honor, and submit to them? I would rather die! I am the lord of the Heavenly Demonic Cult, Huang Jianzhi, the strongest cultivator in this world. Not even all 7 lords at once can stand up to me! I tear the paper in two and retreat to my quarters, where I find a bowl of rice and miso soup waiting for me. Without hesitation, I begin to gulp down the soup while thinking about the issue with the lords. The only possible solution I can see is to eliminate them before they can eliminate me. As I begin to gobble down my rice, I silently thank the Heavenly Demon, as is required every time you eat a meal in the cult. But halfway through my prayer of thanks, I feel a strange feeling wash over me. Drowsiness. The work of a spy. I begin to cultivate, but before I can start my breathing techniques a sharp pain hits my throat. Poison pills! My body collapses due to the sleeping pills’ effect and I hit the floor, asleep.

 

As the demonic cult’s lord sleeps, an unknown threat approaches the quarters of the lord. The threat is a mere servant, hired by the 7 lords to assassinate the lord. He wields a small knife, easily disposable. His mind dances with thoughts of his rewards after he ends the life of the most powerful cultivator ever. His hand shakes as it reaches for the gold-plated door to the quarters of the lord. His mouth splits open, revealing his repulsive yellow teeth, before he throws open the door. The well-oiled sliding mechanism does not make a sound as it flies open. The servant creeps along the floor to the body of the lord, fallen prone on the ground. He clutched his knife. But then his body relaxes. He raises his blade, preparing for a swift cut downwards, across the throat. He closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. And cuts. The demon lord makes no sound as his life flows from his body, entranced in a peaceful dream. He is unaware of the fact that his life has just ended. The servant begins to chuckle. The chuckle quickly grows to a giggle, before finally transforming into an all-out evil laugh. He bends over and whispers into the unhearing ear of the lord. “What a waste of a perfectly good cultivator. I’d better grab your body and bring it to the 7 lords.” The last sounds anyone heard from the room of the Demon Cult’s Lord’s quarters was the sound of a window opening, then a light thump.

 

Darkness. 

 

Darkness is all I know.

 

All I see.

 

All I feel.

 

Darkness.

 

Oh yeah, and that weird white egg-shaped thing floating next to me. That’s here too. Pondering, I close my eyes. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years, and years to eternity. But eventually, something strange interrupts my schedule. I awoke to a crack in the egg. Every time I wake up after that, there’s a larger or different crack on the egg. Until one day, when it finally splits in two, and a winged humanoid emerges from the shattered shell. He stretches his neck with a sickening crack, then looks down towards me and smiles. 

 

“I’m so sorry for the wait, I had to deal with some… more pressing matters. But I’m here now! I’ve already selected a world for you to be reborn into, but you may select your new name, gender, and other physical features.” 

 

“What the hell is going on here?”

 

“Oh my, it seems in my rush, I’ve forgotten to explain what’s going on! Well, allow me to explain now. You are a special participant from planet earth that has been chosen to be reborn into another world! That’s great, right? Well, not only that, but you are allowed to be reborn as whatever you want!”

 

“Wait just a minute. What the hell is planet earth? And I’m going to be… reborn?”

 

The god muttered something under his breath that may have been, “fuck.”

 

“So you’re saying… you have no idea what planet earth is,” the god choked out.

 

“Of course not, how the hell would I know what that is?”

 

The god spat multiple words that I definitely shouldn’t repeat here. 

 

“Fucking hell… you’ve really fucked up this time, haven’t you?” He muttered to himself. 

 

He smiles, but it’s obviously forced. Through his teeth, he says,

 

“So you aren’t from earth… well where are you from then?”

 

“The great continent of Linxia.”

 

“Shit, so that’s where I messed up… I was in charge of reincarnating someone from Linxia, China, but I messed up and chose you instead.”

 

“So now what the hell is going to happen to me?”

 

“I have no choice but to reincarnate you. But I’ll give you a gift. After all, it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.” 

 

“Yeah, and what the fuck is that?”

 

“I’ll let you keep one of your… techniques, or whatever you call them. And you will keep your memories. But you’ll be forced to be reborn exactly as you are now, but your age will be decreased significantly. After all, you are old, and… crusty.”

 

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

 

The god coughs.

 

“N-nothing, nothing at all. So, what technique of yours would you like to retain?”

 

“Hmmm. I suppose, if I lose all of my other techniques, I’d want to keep the strongest one.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

“BUT!”

 

“But what?”

 

“I have a much better idea. If I keep my specialized breathing technique, I can adapt it and use my memories to recreate all of my other techniques.”

 

The god smiles, and this time it doesn’t appear to be a fake smile.

 

“That’s… actually a really good idea. Didn’t expect something like that from you.”

 

“Care to repeat that?”

 

“O-oh, nothing, nothing at all.” The god smiles sheepishly.

 

“Well then. I’d like to be reincarnated with… The Heavenly Demonic Breathing Art!”

 

“I understand. Good luck. You’ll need it.”

 

“You too, I’ll bet you need it more than me.”

 

The god laughs. “Yeah, you’ve got a good point. Let me give you a tip before you go.”

 

“Yeah, alright.”

 

“When you reincarnate, read the news right away. That way you’ll get a good understanding of the world you are in. And then, get a weapon. Whatever weapon you were the best with, get it. Then, start training.”

 

“I understand.” I mentally store the tip away and prepare myself for my journey.

 

“This shouldn't hurt a bit,” the god says as he raises his hand. With one twist, I’m sent spiraling into the infinite blackness once again. My gut clenches, and I feel like I’m going to toss my cookies, but then it stops.

 

I open my eyes.

 

And see a blue screen.

 

It reads:

 

Welcome To The Tutorial!