Hera was pulling me forward before I really realized it. I was already caught up in the noise and music and the people, and we were just barely in the door. She turned her face to me and jerked her head to the side. Her grin was fierce. I followed her through the entrance crowd in a daze, the thumping, pounding beat slamming against my body like waves on a beach.

"Where are we going?" I shouted, but it was completely lost in the noise. She looked over her shoulder and mouthed something, but I couldn't make it out.

We wound up in front of the bar, the pixie cut bartender swinging around to look us over as the concert attendees started to roll up. Hera had to lean forward and almost yell to be heard, but she gestured over her shoulder at me and the bartender glanced up and nodded, turning to pull down a bottle and pour something.

I leaned down next to Hera's short sleek dyed hair, raising my voice again.

"What are we doing?"

She looked up at me with a smirk, the her teeth glinting through her blood red lipstick. "Taking care of you!"

I raised an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes, standing on her toes again to lean into my ear. Her breath was warm on my neck. 

"You said you wanted me to take the lead tonight, yeah?"

I nodded. I had, in fact, said that. I hated being anxious and having to choose things while we were out together. I could tell she had grinned without even seeing her face.

"Then follow my lead!"

Hera turned back to the bar, and I leaned forward on it, watching her for a long moment. She really was incredibly pretty. Her features looked like they were hewn to a cutting edge in the golden-toned brown of her skin. She gave off the impression of someone who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. Which Hera did. Her eyes were keen and her smile sharp, and she smiled without caring who was watching her.

She had gotten new tattoos in the time since I had last seen her, the swirling, artistic designs curling around her wrists and up to the back of her neck where they peeked over the collar of her crisp black leather jacket. Silver rings sat in her left eyebrow, pierced on the end. The muscles of her arms were toned and obvious in the tightness of her jacket sleeves. She had a septum piercing that she was always fiddling with when she thought others weren't looking, and her ears were bedecked in silver chains and sword earrings.

Hera wasn't much shorter than me, but our height difference was just enough to get her to have to look up when we were standing together and talking. I found it funny, especially whenever she made a face after realizing it. She gave me trouble about being too tall. It worked out.

Her and I had been friends since college. We were inseparable since we met, really- well, at least until we both left school. I was her straight guy best friend, who was always there for her through her girlfriends and breakups and dramas. She was my lesbian best friend, who showed up the men around me with impeccable repair skills and the number of drinks she could hold and women she could swing.

I turned to look back out at the stage as the opening band played off to scattered applause. The crowded room was dark, the stage lights on, and there was a held breath as somebody came onto stage. It was just a roadie, setting the bass guitar up for the lead of the band we were here to see. He smirked at the people in the front row as they heckled him and went back to talking. My eyes went to the symbol on the front of the drumkit- bold and sharp, the band's name in red. I had sent Hera a first-tour tee of theirs for her birthday last year, from when their logo was far less developed, and she was wearing it now as she laughed at something the bartender had said. They were hot too, I thought, and right up Hera's alley. She'd probably get their number for after the gig. A pang of loss went through me like a splash of cold water. I swallowed and shoved it away, looking back out on the stage. The lights were going down, and you could taste the anticipation in the air.

Hera had introduced me to this band when we first met in undergrad several years ago. This was their reunion tour, and they had happened to be just a two hour drive away on my birthday. Tonight was also a reunion for us, a few years after we had both - somehow - survived college. Hera had been away for a while at a secondary school she didn't talk much about, but she was finally back, and the first thing she wanted was to take me out with her just like old times. We had talked frequently since school, but Hera couldn't get away long enough to visit in the meantime, and I couldn't afford to travel that much with my job. She bought the tickets for this a month in advance, and I had booked a hotel room for us, thinking of all the times we had traveled together for stuff in college and how drunk we'd both get. I didn't want either of us to have to skip part of the night just to drive home.

I had slipped into a bad habit in the time since I had last seen her, fantasizing about the memories of our outings like this, making them over in my head to be dates- but Hera was strictly platonic when it came to men. Too many bad experiences, she said. She was extremely homosexual, and spent a good chunk of time talking about the victim complex and privileges of straight white cis men. She was right, and I respected that. I benefited from stuff she'd never have access to, and I tried my best to recognize when it was happening after she opened my eyes to it. Our friendship was safe. It didn't have any surprises. We were both off the table from each other romantically, so we didn't have to worry about the same things others did. Hera was really important to me, and I would never, ever take a step to ruin that.

I glanced up across the bar at the mirrored wall backing the rows and rows of alcohol bottles, my eyes inevitably tracking to my reflection in the mirror. The bar was dark, the glass smudged, and the music loud enough to rattle the glass, but I knew what I looked like clear as day. My reflection was of a gangly, long proportioned guy with awkward, indecisive stubble that never shaved down evenly against my pale face, and short dark brown hair that- try as I might- was slowly starting to climb up my forehead. I sighed, dropping my eyes down. It was the same look that greeted me in the mirror every morning, complete with tired bags under my green eyes bright in contrast with my white cheeks. My outfit wasn't much. A band tee, jeans, a grey beanie to hide my hairline, and a pair of leather bracelets, since I was feeling risky today. I had on a blue flannel I thrifted recently in a poor attempt to dress up, but as it was a little ill fitting for my body, the whole look came off as kind of sad.

It wasn't worth thinking about. I had enough to pay attention between the the concert and Hera's promise that she'd take care of everything. We had eaten before we came- Hera saying I needed to "keep my strength up" and "be ready for anything", which was typical for her. I was a little worried about my tolerance since I hadn't done much drinking for a while. But, hey, no time like the present.

Behind me, a roar was rising. The crowd was screaming as the band took the stage, all extra lights in the venue dimming. The first notes of their opening song wailed out, and the noise with the crowd shook the ceiling.

Hera was watching me, I noticed, her expression inscrutable. I blinked the thoughts away and she leaned forward, pressing a shotglass into my hand.

"What is it," I asked in a shouted question.

"Do you trust me?" she hollered back.

I laughed, and nodded. "Yes! Always!"

"Then let me pick, and don't ask questions! I'd be obligated to answer all of them, and we'd never leave the bar!"

Her grin was wide and genuine. I nodded back, putting up a thumb in agreement. Hera always picked what I'd like and she rarely got it wrong. I knocked the first drink of the night back with a grin to match hers. The whiskey slid down my throat and filled my mouth with warmth.

She nudged me in the ribs when I grinned back at her. She had to lean in almost to my ear.

"Happy birthday, Robin!"

Robin was her nickname for me. She had shaken her head when I introduced myself as Robert in that class so long ago now, pressing a finger to my orange shirt with my brown leather jacket and saying I was too bright and alert to be anything but a songbird. I hadn't heard it from her in person in a while, and I ducked my head, hiding the blush that crept across my cheeks. It felt good. I had missed this.

We slid into the chanting crowd after our first shots, Hera shouldering her way to the front as I followed. The lead singer screamed into the mic and pointed down at me. I shouted the chorus back with the crowd and she grinned in a breath and turned away, the drums pounding, the music crashing over me. I closed my eyes and let it take me. It drove everything else out of my head. All I felt was the song.

We moved, after some time jostling at the front, to make room for others to come up. Hera was at my shoulder for all of it, which struck me as odd. I was used to her floating around the concert floor saying hi to everyone she knew. That wasn't her tonight. Tonight she was by my side. I thought about that a little too long and heat rose into my cheeks. I shook my head and the thoughts away. Not now. Nothing has changed. Don't make this weird. She probably just didn't know anyone here, a lot of our friends from the area had since moved on. The buzz from the shots were starting to settle into the tips of my fingers, and I could feel it loosening thoughts, things I usually kept to myself.

Then Hera took my hand again and was pulling me through the crowd. I followed, helpless in her wake, as we turned down a back corridor to find ourselves outside of a pair of bathroom doors. Single unit, it looked like. There was a 'everyone welcome' sign taped to both, marked with a three pointed gender symbol that I slid my eyes off of. It wasn't meant for me.

The music still punched through the floorboards here, shaking my shoes as I looked at Hera. Did she want me to guard the door while she went? Maybe the lock was broken. And then she pulled me along through the door, and I heard the lock click behind us, and then my back was pushed against cool tile, and my brain was struggling to realize what was happening.

Hera had me pressed against the wall next to the sink. Her limbs flexed as one of her knees pinned solidly between my thighs, her arms holding me in place. She shot me a look with her chin inclined up, her eyes flashing with green light.

"H-Hera?" My adam's apple bobbed under her thumb. "I'm not- what's happening?"

"Do you want me, Robin?" Her voice was very low, her nickname for me rolling off her tongue.

I nodded frantically, my heart in my throat. She looked up at me and grinned that sharp grin and I felt myself rise up as heat flooded through my body. "I- yes- but you're a lesbian, and I'm just-"

She put a finger to my lips, pulling my beanie off my head with a hand as she physically pressed herself close in against me. "Shhh. Do you trust me?"

"Yes." More than anything.

"Good."

She leaned forward and kissed me, deeply, and it felt like electricity crackled through the contact. It shocked me, the buzz of energy flickering through my face. She tasted like whiskey and sharp vodka and the gum I had watched her discard before we came inside. I thought I saw the tattoos on her wrists start to glow with green light, and then willed myself to focus and stop imagining things. I had to stop her before she made a mistake, no matter how much I wanted it. I pulled back and my lips came away from hers and I felt my whole self want to press back into that warmth. I could taste her lipstick. My head fell back against the wall, and it was swimming.

"Hera, what are you doing?"

"What I should have done the day we met," she whispered, and shoved her face into my shoulder to bite at the base of my throat.

All rational thought fled my mind as her teeth met my skin. I was captivated. I could have sat there with her mouth on my throat all night and then - then her hand had my shirt pushed up and was flat against my stomach just under my belly button, and I couldn't think clearly anymore. 

She slipped her short-cropped nails under layers of fabric to slide her hand lower, pressed against my skin, green sparks rising from where she touched me. And then she had me cradled in her cupped hand, and I realized I hadn't said or thought anything at all in a little while. The music had faded, and all I could hear was my heartbeat in my ears, thumping quickly like a bird in flight.

"Are you okay, Robin?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak in fear that I'd just whimper. She nodded too, leaning in.

"Can I keep going?"

I nodded quickly and said "yes" through the rattling heartbeat in my throat, the word more of a breath than a sound. Her sharp grin curled across her face and I felt her hand tighten around my stiffness.

"Well, then, you're mine."

One hand pulled my shoulder off the wall, spinning me till my back was to her and wrapping her arm around my shoulders. The other kept a firm grip on me, twisting with the motion. And then her hand was moving as she pulled me against her, pressing my tense shaft against the soft skin of myself, in short, quick sharp strokes. I think I saw stars. I stumbled back into her waiting embrace as I stood there, legs shaking, completely dumbfounded, and she kissed my neck again. I was close. I was so close already, and she pressed in with a long stroke and the light on her wrist flared in emerald green and I cried out her name as I came into her waiting hand.

I shuddered, and very suddenly the moment was too real. I was pressed against Hera, and I was very aware of the shape of her chest pressed against my back, and of the fact that she had just given me a handjob in the bathroom of a basement bar. This was what I had imagined for so, so long, but it was wrong. Hera was going to regret this. She had made a mistake. I had let her do something I knew she hated, and I knew it was wrong but she was making me feel good so I went along with it anyway-

I twitched, down there, as Hera slowly removed her hand. I could smell my own musk as she brought her sticky fingers to her lips and touched the tip of her tongue to them. 

"I've been waiting for this for years," she said quietly.

My head swam. That didn't make sense. I opened my mouth to reply, or apologize, or something, to show her that I hadn't meant this, shouldn't have agreed when I surely wasn't who she wanted, that I had never wanted to take advantage of her trust - and then a wave of heat spread over my body from lower within me and I collapsed into her waiting arms.

Every inch of my whole body felt like it was asleep, crackling with the sensation of television static. Hera held me off the ground with that strength of hers. She pressed her lips to my forehead, whispering trust me, and I cried out again. I could feel tears streaming down my face, like a dam had broken. I couldn't think. I clutched at her shoulders for something to hold, anything, and my whole body shuddered uncontrollably. All I could see was Hera's face, her eyes, and that smile, her sharp, knowing smile.

My chest hurt. I could feel the skin on my forehead itch and itch, my whole scalp itch, like it was dancing with static shock. My face, too, felt that sharp static pain, and I felt like my mouth was on fire. My back and my whole lower body down to my toes were clamoring for attention, the strongest sensation in a throbbing pulse between my legs. I held on to her like a lifeline, completely overwhelmed.

Finally, what felt like ages later, it subsided. I gasped for air. Hera slowly raised me back to my feet and I staggered in her arms, not letting go of her shoulders. I could still feel the music thumping in the floorboards, so not that much time must have passed, though it had felt like an eternity.

"What- what the fuck was that about!?"

My voice was quick with anxiety. Hera shrugged, smiling.

"What do you mean?"

I stared up at her, and shook my head sharply. Hair whipped around, a weight on my neck. 

"You- you know- you just fucked me?! Am I high? Am I dreaming? You're not into me, you're not - you're gay, for fuck's sake, I went with you to the pride march, I helped with the club, I- you're a lesbian! You don't fuck men!"

I could hear my voice raise as I went.

"Yeah?"

Her voice sounded amused, and she had her head pulled slightly back, her eyes taking in every angle of my face. I stared back at her, confused. The angle from below made her irises look deep and rich with the glimmering color of green and brown swirling in their depths, in the harsh bathroom light. Her makeup was flawless, a wing on both sides, iridescent hues of eye shadow picking out the highlights of her irises.

"You got it. I'm a lesbian. I don't fuck men."

"Then why-"

I had been building up to some point, I was sure, but she leaned forward again and put a finger to my lips as my mouth was moving and I tasted something salty and richly scented and the words died in my throat, my breath hitching. I pushed my tongue out between my teeth, parting my lips, and touched it to her finger. She laughed in surprise and put her fingers in my mouth as I licked my own cum from her hand.

Hera's grin curled back up across her face as she spoke, watching me suck at her fingertips.

"Wow, you're a slut, huh?"

Her tone was teasing as I pulled her hand away from my mouth.

I stood there for a long, dumb moment, holding her wrist in my hand, the leather bracelet on my wrist slipped to the middle of my arm. My fingers encircled the complex, weaving tattoo on her wrist, the one that I thought had been shining with green light a few minutes ago. The rich scent of my own cum filled my whole mouth, tempered by the aftertaste of whiskey. I couldn't process the words she had just said. I couldn't process the taste in my mouth. My clothes felt too big and too small at the same time. My hair still itched, and Hera kept pushing it out of my eyes with gentle fingers, smiling at me like she'd never seen me before. That wasn't right. My hair wasn't that long. My mind was racing, but it wasn't moving at all. I couldn't string two thoughts together in the aftermath of what had just happened. I distinctly felt like I was going to burst into tears.

"Here." Hera had me, drawing me back into her arms again, and she stepped to the side to peer into a graffiti covered floor length mirror. Between the markings of "XOXO CALL ME" and "I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER" and "life is beautiful, I choose love~" (plus the addendum "WITH YOUR MOTHER"), two women looked back out at us. One was Hera, her short hair mussed, black jacket askew. A grey beanie was stuck half in her jacket pocket. In Hera's tight embrace, a little shorter than her, was a young woman who stared back at the mirror with wide eyes.

Her features were rounder and softer than Hera's, and her deep green eyes shone in the light. Her long healthy dark hair swept over her face and down to her shoulders. Her chest was mostly concealed by the shapeless band tee she had on, but she was simply about to burst out of the jeans she was wearing, they were so tight on her thighs- and too long for her. She was wearing a blue flannel that fit her figure well, the collar rakish against the multiple bite marks and blemishes teeth and tongue had left against the pale light skin of her collarbone, marks encircled by smeared red lipstick. Her wrists had leather bracelets around them. She looked like a complete lesbian, like someone I'd expect to have seen in Hera's arms on any given weekend back in school.

She looked like me.

I raised my hand in wonder, watching the woman mirror my movement. Her bracelet fell in the exact same way as mine and I could feel shock settle over my body. Hera pulled me close to her chest, her voice lowered to a whisper.

"Look at you. You're beautiful."

My mouth hung open as I stared at my reflection and then I brought both hands up to cover it, my eyes suddenly brimming with tears. Hera smiled as she talked.

"I've been wanting to do this for you for a long time, but I was never quite certain back then. I had to be sure I could do it right. I had to be sure it was what you wanted. This time, though..."

She kissed the nape of my neck, parting my long hair with her face. She stayed there for a long moment and I could feel her hot breath on my skin.

"Happy birthday, Robin. My treat. I hope it makes up for the ones I missed."

I turned my face away from the mirror and buried my head in her chest, the tears coming fast as my hair curtained around my face.

"I- I'm-"

"Shhh," Hera said, her hand coming up to run her fingers through my hair. "Take your time. You don't owe me a single thing. You could leave right now and I'd never blame you. This is yours, your body. It's yours. I had to give you this because I know you, I know how much you've done in silence for years. I know how much you deserve this, how much you think you don't."

I sobbed, hiccuping until I cried myself out in her arms. Finally, I untangled myself from her embrace, stepping back to look at her. Her rich, deep eyes flickered up and down my body and I felt myself blush in a way I had never experienced in my life- here, in front of me, was someone I wanted, who seemed to want me, who was showing that interest openly and was willing to reciprocate my desire, who apparently knew my body and needed it. I had never expected to know what that meant. I had never expected to know how it felt, to be held in her vision like some beautiful woman she was hungry to bed.

I pushed my hair out of my face behind my ear, and I cleared my throat.

"You... changed me. You gave me this. I can't- I can't believe- that was magic? You're a witch?"

She stuck her hands in her pockets, shrugging as a slight blush crept into her cheeks. "Well, of a sorts, I guess-"

I crossed the space between us with a step and pressed my mouth to hers with an eagerness I had never felt before. My lips parted, then hers, then my tongue was among her teeth and meeting her own and the way she ran it down the length of mine made me shudder, my knees suddenly weak. I grabbed at the collar of her shirt and pulled her closer, in and in, until finally we broke away gasping for air.

I looked up at her. "Will you teach me that?"

"To be a witch? I mean, I can, it just takes a lot of hard work-"

I laughed, the notes of my voice an unfamiliar peal in the room, but they felt right. They felt like they were mine. "No, silly. How to use my tongue like that."

"Oh. Oh. Well- yes- it's not that hard, honestly-"

"Then show me!" I could feel my whole face blush furiously red but I couldn't help it. I felt more daring than I ever had been. I never would have asked for sex in a public bathroom before, but this felt like something completely necessary. My body wanted it, my mind wanted it, I wanted it. I didn't feel guilt- I just wanted her. I wanted Hera.

Her hands came to my ass and she squeezed, lifting me up in her arms as I squeaked in surprise. She sat me on the edge of the battered sink and fumbled with the fly of my jeans, leaning forward to kiss me again. My hands came to hers and I helped loose my tight pants, and then they were around my ankles, along with my very wet underwear, and she was sinking to her knees, as one hand clenched tightly around my thigh and her other hand parted me and her mouth found the wet hot space between my legs, and Hera drew her tongue over me as I rolled my head back and gasped.

I came very quickly and sagged, expecting it to be over- but Hera pressed on and the shocks filled my whole body again, and then again, each time getting deeper and stronger. I shuddered and cried out, my head thrown back, my fingers entangled in her hair, pulling her closer to me as I came again and again. I said her name in a wreck. I repeated it like a prayer. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was transcendent. It was bliss.

And then someone banged heavily on the bathroom door and we both jumped, startled. Hera's head came up from between my legs and she coughed, clearing her throat once and then hollering "FUCK OFF!" at the top of her lungs. I squirmed back, my back against the tiles of the wall again, suddenly incredibly aware of how naked and spread out I was. 

A voice shouted back through the door- "People gotta piss, lady! Take your girl home or something! Jesus christ, worst part of this joint, two single restrooms and people fucking in both of them..."

I met Hera's gaze between my legs and we both laughed, partially in disbelief. "Just a minute!" she shouted back, her grin curled up again. She had my jeans in her hand and she was helping me back into them, which was a real struggle. I had definitely gone up a size or two in just my ass. We had to cuff them to adjust for my shorter height. Finally, I was standing again, only to realize that my legs were shaking so badly that I had to clutch at Hera's shoulder to catch myself.

She laughed, holding me up. "Yeah, that's a thing that happens." She curled a strong arm around my waist and unlocked the door. Hera led me out.

I stared at the floor as eyes fixed onto us in the hallway. The original speaker was a tall bearded man in leather chaps, who chuckled as we emerged. Hera held up a finger in a rude gesture and everyone in the line for the door laughed.

"You sure did a number on her, huh?"

"Fuck off or hers won't be the only number I lay out tonight," she said, pulling me closer to her side.

My ears were burning hot and red. The laughter rippled around the group again and the speaker whistled.

"Shiiit. I can't do that, I gotta walk out of here!" 

A hand clapped my shoulder and a girl was saying to me "Nice catch, sister-" and then somebody pushed into the restroom and the attention of the line slipped away from us as others groaned.

"Cmon man, make it quick! I'm about to piss right here..."

We somehow made it back to the bar, where a pair of stools were free. The music was lower than the high-energy opening as the band went through one of their long concept albums. I watched the singer at the front of the stage, her bright red mohawk twisting behind her as she sang from deep in her throat into the mic. Vaguely, a memory floated back into my mind, of the day Hera had offered me an earbud after class and we sat in the sun and she had showed me this album for the first time. When I watched the light play on her face with her eyes closed and I realized I had fallen in love. How quickly, how deeply I had buried it, to protect her- to protect myself. Her expression when she had opened her eyes and smiled back at me, her face glowing like she was full of sunlight.

I watched the crowd dance and flock in front of the stage like a flight of birds. My head was on Hera's shoulder. She shifted, an arm coming up over my shoulder to hold me close, protectively. Her voice was quiet. 

"You okay?"

I nodded, turning my face to look up at her. 

"Yeah." My heart surged as I looked at her, and I caught my breath. "I'm okay."

She laughed under her breath, and her hand came to my face, brushing over my lips. "You really are beautiful," she murmured, her fingers resting on the curve of my cheek.

I felt myself blush deep red again, a curious sensation throbbing between my legs. It was familiar but- not as physical, not anymore. Pulsing need rippled through my chest and went lower. I swallowed, my heart in my throat. She smiled, her eyes lowering as she watched my expression and I squeezed my eyes shut, shoving my face into her jacket.

"What?" She laughed.

My voice was muffled against her chest. "Shut up!"

"I'm not saying anything!"

"Yes you are! You're saying it with your face!" 

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were Little Miss Mind Reader," she said teasingly, her hand dropping away from my cheek.

My brain skipped a beat. Miss. Miss.

"How did you know?" The words slipped out of my mouth, and I blinked my eyes open again, looking up at her. Hera shifted, signaling the barkeep who came back with a pair of glasses. She pushed one into my hand, and I ruefully lifted my head from her shoulder to take a sip from it. I expected the bitter taste of alcohol, but clear cold water flowed, and I drank deeply. I noticed the bartender looking me up and down as I lowered my glass. They winked at me and I blushed, going red again, before they turned away to someone else. 

Hera watched this moment with a smile and then turned her head back to look out at the crowd. "It was back in our third year, I think. After Allie dumped me."

I winced, remembering how messy that breakup had been, how much it had hurt her. She looked down at the drink in her hands.

"You stayed up with me all night. We got really drunk together, and we watched some movie. And then- I almost kissed you, but you pushed me away, and you cried, and you said that you wanted to love me, but you couldn't do it as a man, and you couldn't be a woman. That you wanted to be a girl so badly, but it wasn't something you could do. You weren't strong enough, or something. You were scared."

I was silent, the memories flickering through my head as I watched her. She was saying the words I had locked away for years. She glanced back down at me.

"You were right, not to kiss me then. It was a bad moment. You didn't deserve for me to treat you as a rebound. But..." She shook her head. "I told you it didn't matter. That if you wanted to be a woman, you were a woman, and I could love you as you were. That... I think that terrified you. You made me swear to never talk about it again. You said it hurt to think about."

The words rattled around in my head. "It- it did."

She pulled me back into her shoulder in her embrace, leaning her head against the top of mine. I could tell she understood what I had felt. Her voice lowered as she raised her other hand, twisting her wrists around to look over the tattoos that had shone with green light.

"I went to find how to help you. I left to learn that magic. Well, that and other stuff."

I pulled my head back, lifting my face to stare at her. She blinked back at me, her expression carefully neutral.

"You- you did this for me? You learned magic for me?"

She nodded quietly, and rubbed the back of her neck with a hand.

"Well, it runs in my family. We're an old magic line... but that's a secret." She flashed me a smile. "I knew it could be done- my grandma did it for grandda some time after they first met- but I didn't want to fuck it up or to hurt you. So I went and trained with grandma for a couple of years without telling you anything." She looked down. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "What- what if I had stopped talking to you? Or if I had found somebody else, or," My voice trailed off as I thought of all the possible ways we could have been separated for good, of the odds that brought us back together again.

Hera stared down at the drink in her hands. "I guess I had faith in you," she said quietly.

I stared at her for a long silent minute and realized I was crying quietly again. When she glanced up, she laughed, and then roughly pulled me back into her shoulder. 

"You sap."

"You knew I loved you-" My voice was choked with emotion. I felt like I was feeling more in this moment than I ever had in my life.

"Of course I did. I know when a girl falls for me."

"But-" 

"Shh." She kissed my forehead, tugging my beanie back down over my long hair. "No more protesting, Robin. You're a woman, open and shut."

I sniffed, and nodded against her shoulder. The warmth of her skin pressed against my cheek. I thought of the moment in the sunlight, so long ago for us now. I could feel those old walls - the defenses I was certain I had to protect myself with, the expectations I had set - start to fall away. Another question bubbled up in my chest before it took my tongue and I said it.

"Will you dance with me?"

She drained her glass of water in one go and stood, bringing me to my feet. "I thought you'd never ask." Her grin was back, and she looked like she could take on the world. Maybe she could. I believed she could in that moment.

She pulled me by the hand back into the crowd, and I felt myself relax as the music took my body. My body. New, yet old, yet still mine. The music wasn't drowning me, this time- it was lifting me up, holding me. My thoughts weren't gone. I was fully here and now. I watched her as she spun to pull me into her arms. It felt right. It felt like everything I had ever wanted.

I kissed her for real then, in the pounding, surging tide of the music, lips locked together, ignoring everyone around us. When we finally drew apart for a breath, my grin matched hers. 

"I love you, Hera," I said, pressing my forehead to hers on tiptoe. She choked out a laugh and I saw that she was crying. She pulled me into an embrace that felt like it could last forever.

"I love you, Robin."

She said it again, late that night, back in our hotel room alone with me, but louder and many times in a row. And I said it again to her, that night, and when we woke in each other's arms in the morning. And I will say it again, and again, and I will keep doing so, for as long as she'll have me.

Forever.

shiftdruid

Hello world! My name's Shift and I'm coming to you from the futchest of femme/butch locations, the couch next to my incredible wife and our spooky black void familiar. Thank you for reading my debut story! This is the first time I've written a gender bender piece AND the first time I've ever written erotica.

Hera and Robin reflect a lot about what was important to me in fiction as a closeted youth years ago, when male-gazey (and really bigoted!) TF stories relegated to the back corners of the internet were one of the only places you could find narratives about being trans. The good, affirming, queer and gender-nonconforming stories were few and far between, and I treasured the ones I found dearly. We're doing much better these day, thankfully - having spaces where LGBTQIA+ authors (love you, ace sibs!) can express themselves have been a big step in that ongoing journey. I can't wait to see where we go next.

It would mean the world to me if you wrote a review, rated the fic, or just left a comment saying hello! I have some long-form fiction in the works right now- some grand and sweeping, some soft and spicy, all queer affirming. If that sounds interesting, give me a follow, and please consider tipping so I can spend more time writing self-indulgent pieces for queer women and sapphic lovers like you. 

Trans love and queer solidarity will save the world! 🔀🌱❤️