Edward was small, stump, had a long brown beard, big old nose, green hat and a green jumpsuit. What was he? Human? What?! No! What kind of tale would that be? He's a gnome! Duh! A garden gnome to be exact. The kind that goes in your front yard. The one all the kids make fun of. Yeah, that one. Old, goofy, weird, yep . . . That's Edward for ya. But I can tell your asking, aren't Gnomes made out of stone? They aren't alive, right? Oh you foolish humans! Of course they are! Every one of them is! Even the ones in your backyard. Yeah Timmy, your Gnome is real. But anyways, back to Edward. He's one of the Gnomes that is well . . . In the front. So when kids throw eggs or other garbage on the gnomes . . . They go straight to him.

"Gosh darnit those kids!" An old gnome named Frederick scowled, "Throwing eggs and all that wasted garbage at us! Us poor Gnomes who can't defend ourselves!"

"It's just kids being kids Frederick." Edward told him, "They do it every time. How aren't you used to this? You've been here almost longer than anyone else!"

"William has been here the longest." Frederick glanced at the old gnome that had a extremely long white beard, instead of wrinkles cracks were on his face, multiple teeth were missing and his body was covered in stains.

"Look! A butterfly!" The old gnome croaked, squinting at a mosquito.

"But . . . I don't think he remembers much." Frederick looked back at Edward, "Edward, you SHOULDN'T be used to this. It's like getting used to bullying!"

"Technically they are the same thing. Just this is with eggs other than fists." Edward agnowleded. 

"Yes, yes but that's not what I'm trying to say!"

"But that's exactly what you just said."

"Well . . ." Frederick paused, "Okay, yes but-"

"Listen Frederick. I understand, it's just happened so many times that I'm used to it." Edward tried to shrug but wasn't able to with his stubby body.

Fredrick sighed, "Oh nevermind. Get back to work." He waddled away from the oblivious Edward.

"Wait what? What did I do?" Edward yelled out but might as well have been talking to himself.

He pushed off the thought and went to work in the garden.

Edward tugged out weeds from the garden. 

"Stupid human. Never taking care of their garden." He tugged strongly at one but it wouldn't come out.

He grunted as he pulled harder.

"Quick! Edward! Get back to your spot! The human is home!" A gnome yelled out to him.

The human? Home? Already?! 

Edward darted to his spot and froze like stone into his proper position. He watched as the human got out of their car, slamming the door. They walked down the sidewalk and into the house. He could see them perfectly through the window where he was. He watched as they set down their things and took out a large board that was white. They took tubes of pasty colored material and put them on a plate. They took a brush and dipped it in it. The brush lifted, covered in the pasty stuff and it got spread along the board. Soon to be made into a masterpiece. It was called painting and Edward loved the thought of it. Now your probably like , wait what?! Edward is a gnome! He shouldn't like painting! How could he?

Now a couple days ago Edward had decided to go into the human's home well they were away. He had snuck in and found one of the white boards and the brushes and paint and he had seen the human paint before and decided to try it. When he did, he absolutely loved it! He would paint mushrooms, flowers and vegetables if all kinds! He would hide his work. But . . . A gnome caught him one day and that was the end of it. Edward hadn't painted since. Of course he wanted to but he couldn't. He was watched all the time now and wasn't able to get away long enough for him to paint. He had tried so many times but it never worked. Finally, he gave up.  

Now as he watched the human do their work once again, the urge to paint grew thick. He NEEDED to paint! He might explode if he didn't! (Don't worry, not actually).  If only he could once again do so. Then he would be free. Wait. What if he asked William? Why hadn't he thought of that before! So stupid of him! William had been here the longest! He was sure to know how to be able to paint!