Chapter 31

Not That Look

Sat in the car moving through the slow morning traffic, Mathew asked, “what was that all about?”

Blushing like mad, William said, “my men are just very happy for us.”

“...” Mathew’s face went red. “they aren’t disgusted? Or disappointed?”

Turning to his lover, his face serious William said, “no I know my men, they are genuinely happy for us.”

From the front seat Barry said with a tender smile, “I’m sorry Boss I couldn’t help over hear. I would like to add my congratulations too.”

“Thank you Barry.” Said William with a goofy grin.

Taking William’s hands, Mathew turned him round so they were face to face and said sternly, “William Boss Leoni’s men are not like yours, you can’t let them know about us.”

William smiled at his serious man, who said, “that look, that look there, you can’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Boss you look at the kid like he is the sun and you are a flower waking up from a long winter.”

Mathew said, “Barry that was lovely, and accurate.” Turning back to William he added, “I love that look on your face, but you can’t make it while we are at Boss Leoni’s, Rick’s men are brutal and prejudice.”

Stroking Mathew’s hands, William said softly, “I’m sorry you had to live hiding who you are for so long, it must have been very scary.”

Dropping his head and his voice going slightly hard Mathew replied, “it’s ok I’m used to it, it’s not everything I am, although it’s a huge part of myself to hide.” Looking up at his lover with an adoring look, Mathew finished, “But I can’t be totally unhappy, because it meant I got to meet you.”

William’s heart almost stopped then thundered in his ears, as his face bloomed into the biggest smile, leaning down he kissed his man softly on the lips, “I’m really glad I got to meet you too.”

As they pulled back and lapsed into staring at each other happily, Barry coughed from the front and said, “Boss as cute as that was, none of that is allowed.”

The pair laughed and said in unison, “yes Barry.” Then laughed at each other.

As his mirth faded, Mathew said, “Ok, now give me your best brooding grumpy look.”

Try as he might William couldn’t keep the happiness from his features.

With a sad sigh Barry said, “Boss I’m sorry to say this to you, but it is for the good of your man. Think of Patrick.”

William’s face instantly dropped.

Shocked Mathew asked, “who is Patrick?”

“He was my friend, and one of the reasons I was determined to get out of Boss Dolton’s gang.”

“What happened to him?” prompted Mathew.

Knowing the reason they were bringing up this old horror was for his own good, didn’t make it any less painful to remember.

“Patrick was a drug runner, before I became an enforcer, we worked together sometimes. We had to take shipments from where they were made to where they were sold. On the last trip Patrick made he was stopped by a rival gang, he was beaten and left for dead on the side of the road. By some miracle we found him before he died, but rather than get him a doctor or even let me take him to a hospital, Boss Dolton had him killed, saying he was too expensive to save.”

William left out that it was after Luke killed Patrick, that William hugged him and started him on the road to salvation.

Horror was written across Mathew’s face, “Oh William I’m so sorry.”

With a deep sigh, William replied, “all of us have a similar story. It’s what drove my men to accept my slim chance at freedom.”

From the front Barry said, “Boss it was also because we believe in you, even back then when you were but a whippersnapper I believed in you.”

With a cautious look Mathew asked, “William how old were you when you were... when you left your gang?”

Images of that week of horror flashed through William’s mind making his face harder still, “I was 23.”

Seeing they were stopped in traffic, Mathew undid his seat belt, slid across the seat into William’s arms, and hugged him tight.

Sadness tightened Mathew’s throat as he said, “I’m sorry to say this my dear but you need to keep those thoughts at the front of your mind, I would not be able to keep my promise if anything happens to you because of me.”

Holding his man tightly, William kissed the top of his head, “Ok my love I’ll not think happy thoughts, just please keep your promise no matter what.” With a sigh William added, “Your going to have to release me, because I’m already feeling better.”

When they arrived at Boss Leoni’s office, William took a deep breath and for the first time, purposely thought about being tortured.

He almost threw up.

Trying to wave off Mathew and Barry’s concern, he regained his composure and got out the car.

On the pavement people hurried out of his way as he strode into the offices, Mathew trailing in his wake.

They were greeted by the same men at the entrance, the men took one look at William’s face and started fighting among themselves, not wanting to be the one to frisk him.

In his gruffest voice William said, “we’re going up, you can frisk each other for all I care.” Then he walked in without a second look at the men.

Dropping his stuff on Mathew’s desk, William pulled the little man back out and went to the bath room. Closing the door and checking they were alone, William braced himself against the door and hugged his bewildered man.

Fear making his eyes large William said softly to Mathew, “Please don’t think of me like this, this is not who I am.”

Gently stroking William’s clenched jaw, Mathew said, “You are doing great. Don’t worry I know this isn’t the real you, even if it is a very convincing act. Now come on lets get back out there before it all goes to nought.”

Stealing his expression William nodded and they went to work.