It took close to an hour for the other party to arrive, following a small group of Guards.

“It’s them!” Mikayla shouted, pointing to the trio.

“It’s definitely those three who jumped us,” James declared. “I recognise that armour from a mile away.”

“Oh, if it isn’t those little babbies,” Adam said, mockingly. “Did you change your clothy? Drank your wittle milk?”

“You!” James growled. “How dare you treat a Priest this way.”

“A Priest? You? I’ve met plenty of Priests, well, a couple, and none of them were as shameful as you. You think just because you’ve got a harem of hot babes that you’re hot shit?” Adam asked. “If you really were hot shit, why didn’t you come and beat me when I was all alone?”

“You weren’t alone,” James said.

“You’re right, I had an Elk near me,” Adam said. “Me and an Elk, against a mighty Priest and his harem.”

James’ face was a deep red, and he was hot with both embarrassment and anger. “You! You!” He tried to form words, but couldn’t manage any.

“Anyway, do you Guards have any Zone of Truth scrolls or something? I’ve been waiting forever and I want a nice hot bath and a nice hot meal, just like I said.”

“We don’t work on your time,” the Guard said. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Adam raised his hands innocently. “I would never claim you work. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

The Guard stared at Adam. “We do have such a scroll, but it would be a waste to use it on this.”

“A waste?” Adam asked. 

“The scroll is expensive,” the Guard stated.

“Is it?” Adam looked to Jurot. “What, it’s like, fifty gold? Maybe a hundred?” Adam shook his head. “Look. Bring the spell scroll, and if we’re wrong in the situation, you can have us pay. If they’re wrong, they can pay. Then we can discuss the compensation for my little heart later.”

The Guard narrowed his eyes. “Is this agreeable?” he asked James.

“Why should we pay?” James asked. “They’re the one’s who attacked us.”

“He’s already admitting he’s guilty,” Adam said. “If you’re in the right, you don’t have to pay.”

“It’s a matter of principle,” James said.

“Principle?” Adam shook his head. “You’re slinging shit at me and now you want to talk about principles? Jurot, remind me next time not to help them out. They can kill each other in peace. You were right, we shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“Enough!” the Guard shouted. “I will retrieve the spell. Wait here, silently, the lot of you.”

It didn’t take long, no more than five minutes, for the Guard to bring the scroll. “I will cast the spell and I expect none of you to resist, neither you four, neither you three, understood?”

They all agreed.

“If you do resist, I will know,” the Guard said, reading the words of magic. 

Charisma Save
Voluntary failure.

Adam felt the soft glow of magic within him, which surrounded his heart, his mind, and his throat, tickling him. 

“Now, explain the situation,” the Guard said, looking to James.

“Mikayla,” James said, nodding his head.

“We were travelling nearby, going about our business, when we came across some smoky wolves. We fought them and then everything went black. I awoke, tied up, and saw the man in puthral saying some weird things about not wanting to be a virgin, and then they interrogated us. He admitted to attacking us, and when he found out we were… weak,” she said, wincing slightly, “they eventually let us out. They followed us for a day and then we managed to escape another day when they were asleep.”

The Guard nodded. “You told no lie. Do you agree, man in puthral?”

“I agree with the gist of it,” Adam said, coughing into his fist again. “I was saying weird stuff about not wanting to be a virgin-“

“Then,” the Guard said. “It appears that you were in the wrong, and you will need to pay for the spell.”

Adam felt the tickling sensation leave and he blinked. “Did you stop the spell?”

“Since we’ve gathered what happened, you will also be arrested for your crimes,” the Guard stated.

“I’m going to lose my fucking mind,” Adam said, looking to Jurot. “Do you believe this shit? How the hell do you cast a Zone of Truth spell and not ask me what happened? She hasn’t mentioned what the smoky black wolf was about, nor about the magical sigil that I found, nor about the fact that we saved them from killing each other.”

“Enough! We have found what we have needed to, and that’s that. I don’t care about a smoky black wolf, or about whatever magical sigil you found.”

“The magical sigil was the reason why these fucking idiots lost their damn minds and were trying to kill each other!” Adam shouted. “I should have expected this was going to happen.” Adam rubbed his forehead. “I knew it. There was going to be a misunderstanding, I called it, didn’t I Jurot?”

“Yes,” Jurot said, narrowing his eyes. “The Guard did not do his job well.”

“We were heading to Red Oak,” Adam began the tale, “when we saw these four fucking idiot fighting each other. They didn’t act or behave like themselves. They were mindless, and were flinging all kinds of spells and attacking each other.”

Jurot nodded along to what Adam was saying.

“We knocked them out, pretty easily mind you, and tied them up to find out what was going on. I managed to find this sigil, a magical symbol on the ground, but it faded before I had the chance to figure it out.”

“Lucy and I went to hunt some boar after,” Jurot said. 

“Then, this Wizard, if that’s what we’re calling her, little miss only knows six fucking spells,” Adam said, trying to hold in his laughter, “awoke. Sure, she awoke during a time I was reminiscing about some weird stuff, and she stared screaming. I wasn’t going to do anything to her, it was just a misunderstanding.”

“Adam’s weird, but he’s not that weird,” Lucy said. “Mostly.”

“Anyway,” Adam said, shooting her a glare, “we interrogated little miss six spells, and we confirmed what she said. Yeah, apparently something took over their minds, and then we set them free. They would have been more trouble tied up, and it’s not like they could do anything to us. They left another morning because they weren’t really our captives, otherwise I would have kept a better watch on them, and they sure as hell wouldn’t have escaped from me considering what I can do.”

The Guard listened to Adam’s ramblings, noting just how angry the man in puthral was. “We cannot verify what you said was the truth.”

“Yeah, because for whatever reason, Guards don’t have to be particularly smart,” Adam said. “I wasn’t the one who dropped the Zone of Truth spell. You can go grab another spell and I’ll say the same thing as before, and you can pay for it since you’re the one who had such a bright idea.”

The Guard growled. “You should be careful talking to me.”

“You should be careful trying to pin things on me,” Adam snarled back. “Just you wait until Vice Master Paul hears of this.”

“Do you think you, a random Iron Rank Adventurer, could speak to the Vice Master?” the Guard asked. “Who do you think you are?”

“I’m the one who took the Vice Master on a quest where we slew a fucking White Dragon while you were jerking it and whimpering in your fucking pillow that nobody loves you!” Adam shouted. “You can ask Jurot, he was there.”

Jurot nodded. “They indeed slew a White Dragon together.”

The Guard blinked. “What?”

The four behind the Guard also blinked. “What?”

“Surely you don’t believe them? He’s an Iyrman! A beast!” Mikayla shouted.

“Watch it, kid,” a Guard said. “Jurot. Does he really know the Vice Master.”

“How much can I say?” Jurot asked.

Adam kept a finger on his lips. “Just that we’re a little close.”

“They are a little close,” Jurot said.

Adam removed his helmet, having become so hot with rage, his face sweaty. The four Adventurers gasped, and the Guards quickly straightened, on edge. 

“He’s a knife ear!” Mikayla gasped. 

“I knew it!” James snapped. “I told you that he-“

“Enough!” the Guard shouted, cutting James off. “Go send word to the Vice Master.” ‘I should have left it to the Guild.’

“I would have thought the Guild would have dealt with these matters,” Adam said, grumbling. 

“They do,” Jurot said.

“Then how come we’re with the Guards?” Adam asked.

“They threatened you,” Jurot said. 

Adam smiled. “You’re right. They did.”

“We can discuss this matter with Vice Master Paul once he arrives,” Jurot said. “He will listen to us.”

“So, uh, you’re from the Rot family?” the Guard asked. 

“I am Jurot, son of Surot,” Jurot nodded. “Adam is a Nephew of my family, though I consider him my brother.”

The Guard stared at Jurot. “Why didn’t you start with that?”

Jurot remained silent, narrowing his eyes at the man.

The four Adventurers glanced between one another. 

“A Nephew of your family? Your brother?” Mikayla asked. “What does that mean?”

“It means that we’re in a heap of trouble,” Fiona said. 

“He could be pretending to be an Iyrman,” a Guard said. “That sort of thing will put you in deep trouble.”

“I’ve never heard of an Elf being so close with an Iyrman before,” another Guard said.

“That’s because I’m not an Elf,” Adam said. “I’m a Half Elf. Half Elf, Half Human.”

“If you wish to test me,” Jurot said, narrowing his eyes at the Guard, “you may draw your blade.”

“Relax,” Adam said, patting Jurot’s back. “Let’s wait for our good ol’ Vice Master. I’m sure he probably has some work for me considering our deal.” Adam smiled wide at the Guards.

‘There’s no way he’s that close with the Vice Master, right?’

‘You heard of an Iyrman lie before?’

 

---

Click banner for Patreon and come join my Discord too!

---

As expected, these Guards are stupid. 

New patron new chapter?