I wonder why I am here. I wonder why I am alive. Am I supposed to be alive? Am I supposed to exist? Is this real? If not then what part of this is fake? Am I fake? Is the space around me fake? Is everything fake? Can't someone tell me . . . I guess not. Well I guess I should not worry about it now. I have a bigger problem.
Like why can I think or how am I alive or how do I know what words are and mean. Actually that's not my biggest problem . My body is spreading -I don't know how I know I am spreading I just know I am- of course that's not the problem. The problem is I am losing parts of myself. Parts of me are just floating away to never return are something. I feel like if I don't stop soon I will die or something.
I need to find some way to fix this because dying or whatever so soon would not be fun. Well maybe I can try focusing on myself. It doesn't seem like a bad idea. I take a deep non-existent breathe and began focusing on myself and suddenly I see something. I see my core but for some reason I feel like it's not just mine alone. My core looks like a red star but with sinister black streaks in it that make me recoil in primal fear.
Suddenly the streaks began to slowly move to a edge of my core. Once it was done my core is now half red star and half black stuff then something shows up in my vision. It is not the same as before because it is just simple white text with some incomprehensible voice behind it.
[ Time remaining ; 1 day 12 hours]
That's not worrying at all also where did the words come from and why do they feel familiar? Wait I still need to fix my body before anything. I focus on myself again and I begin to feel my body come together. With nothing to distract me it was quite easy and it felt quite nice. It felt like I was completing myself.
Once it was done the feeling was gone and I could actually see not just feel also my body doesn't seem to want to spread anymore. Now I don't have to worry about dying right now so I can focus on things like how to move, what were those word from before, and . . . actually I can't think of anything.
Actually why am I doing any of this. I have no end goal. I just popped into reality or whatever this is and decide to go with but now that I am not on the verge of death or whatever I can actually think about it. Should I think about ? I mean I might just make a hole and give me a reason to die instead. I'll think about this later and say I'll live for the sake of living for now.
So mow on to figuring out how to move. Actually how would movement be possible there is nothing to stand on or grab a hold of . . . wait did that really just happen. Did I just unconsciously close my hand and gripped on to empty space like it was a solid? First how did I move my hand, and second how did I hold on to empty space.
To move my body I just have to do this . . . that actually worked. Now I know how easy it is to move my body. Now on to how did hold on to empty space. I close my hand again and again but I can't hold on to space. Hmm maybe it works based on perception like if I think of space as a solid it will be a solid but that doesn't makes sense then again holding on to nothing doesn't make sense either.
Okay, space is a solid, space is a solid, space is a solid. I try to move my arm but it seems to be trapped in something hard. I think I trapped myself but at least I know it works. So how do I escape. Do I just stop thinking space is a solid? Okay so it worked now do I just think the space at my feet is a solid. Actually if it it based on perception maybe I should just think I am walking on a path instead.
I move my feet to walk and feel something solid yet weak under my feet like if I would step to hard it will break. I wonder why it feels weak but that's not important right now. I can walk but I don't know where to go. I could go to a star but they seem far away and I don't know if I can move fast enough to reach them in a reasonable time.
Actually one star seems quite close then again how far is close. Actually why should I go to a star . . . I don't know I just feel like I need to go to one. I guess I will listen to my body. What's the worse that could happen it lives to me and I die. Well if it does happen I'll accept it. I guess it's time to go now. I began to walk on my flimsy "ground" towards the closest star.
I know it is close because I can see it's shape, and color. It's not like all these little dots around me. It is intense, very intense. It is a ball of white fury. It is a feisty ball of pure heat and plasma. More importantly it is unstable ready to die at any moment. Maybe that's why it is angry. It is fighting itself in an unwinnable war. It is wasting resources to stay alive, to keep itself stable but it's not working , it is making it worse, more unstable.
The harder it tries the worse it gets. It must be painful to slowly die knowing you can't do anything, knowing whatever you do makes it worse. When I get closer I can hear it, feel it, see it even. Underneath all the anger, pain, and heat there is a old man wallowing in sorrow and despair. It is crying . . . He is crying.
For whatever reason he stops crying when I get close. He begins to move towards me. As soon as he walks past his surface it becomes clear. The old man was not my imagination of the star it actually was the star. I thought of it before but now I am sure. I stop walking he continues walking until he is right before me.
I finally get a good look at him before he was blurry like something was hiding him but now he is clear. He is an old man with a full head of white hair, his eyes are closed, his chin is rounded, and he is wearing just a pure white robe. For some reason his robe is decaying letting me see his star bright skin.
Slowly he opens his pure black eyes and I can tell he is blind. I know he is looking past me, just looking in my direction but it also feels like he is looking through me. It is uncomfortable but I deal with it. Slowly he opens his mouth to speak letting out a deep booming voice instead a weak voice that I thought he would.
"I know what you are star killer. I have seen your kind before and have fought them off once before but . . ."
His voice becomes weak in his next words.
"I want you to do something for me. I want you to give me death I can't live on knowing what's ahead so do it. Destroy me, break me apart, do whatever but just kill me."
I-I what how I I what I can't I don't know how this also who is this star killer who's kind. I have so many questions.
"Gladly."
What that wasn't me that came from my body but that wasn't me. What's going on? I just heard a emotionless female voice come from my body. Who's there. I try to say but nothing happens. No one. The voice again but this time in my head. Get out of my body. I could say the same to you.
Slowly I can feel the grip I have on my body lessen. I can feel I am about to black out but before I do I can see my body begin to change. My legs and waist become slimmer and my hips wider and something growing on my chest.
