10: Left Behind
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**Troy** 

I’d never gone to a funeral of someone I wasn’t related to before. Weird that was one of my first thoughts in my head, getting dressed that day. My other thought was how fucked up it was that the name on her tombstone will be of the man the world thought she was, and not the woman that I had barely even begun to know. Or at least, I thought I had begun to know. Really, she was there the whole time. Her laugh, her smile, every bit of her in my memory, it never felt like I was remembering a guy, even if she was playing the role of one. There’s just her. Just Aria.

And now she’s gone. Too soon. Far too soon.

I have a few trans friends, and all of them have said in one way or another that one of their biggest fears is dying with a grave that has a name not their own. I would say something, but who’s going to believe me? Definitely not the shitty dad that Aria mentioned now and then. Would he even be there? If he wasn’t, I’ll find him and deck him. Shit, I might if he’s there. The things she mentioned every now and then… the fear on her face when she talked about having to go back. Fucking bastard, doing that kind of mental damage to your daughter. 

How come this is getting in my head so much? I mean, we lived together and she was a somewhat good friend, but we weren’t that close. Were we? It’s like all I can see in my memories is the times we spent together, watching some anime or showing each other memes or whatever. Stupid shit. But, also precious. I’ve lost people who I was technically closer to–not by dying, but falling out or moving away, stuff like that–but Aria is different. I feel like I’ve lost a little part of my heart. Of course, I’m not dumb. I suspected I might’ve liked her when I thought she was a guy, but I’m straight, so I didn’t think anything more of it. But now that I know that she’s really a girl, was really a girl, it’s hard not to think I was in love with her. What straight guy wouldn’t be, living with someone that damn adorable for months? I let out a small laugh at that thought, and immediately felt guilty. She’s gone, Troy. Gone. 

***

There’s nothing special about the service. I shut out all the “Johns” from my head, resisting the urge to scream out that her name is Aria, and that she’s not the man you all say she was. She wasn’t some larger than life character, that was just how she acted around other people so they wouldn’t see how small and quiet she was when she was alone. She was so empathetic and kind, always listening to my problems and complaints about school and life when hers were so much worse than mine, all along. But maybe small and quiet wasn’t what she was either. I didn’t get to know the girl behind the mask very well before she was gone. 

Her dad was there, but the entire time he looked like he had somewhere else to be, not once showing an ounce of sorrow or grief. He left as soon as the service ended. Well, most people did. I was actually the only one still here, just sitting in front of her grave and missing her. No tears fell, but inside I was so empty it hurt. 

I want to see her. I want to see her so bad I could die. 

No need for that.

“What?! Who said that?!” I looked around, and no one was there except the dead.

Just a Goddess who believes a little in love. And fixing some mistakes. 

“Goddess?”

Not of this world. Call me a… friend of Aria’s. 

“You know Aria? How?”

Has she ever mentioned a dream to you about another world? 

“Once? When she came out to me, the day she died.”

You see, that wasn’t exactly just a dream. That was her original life. She’s actually supposed to be from my world, but was brought to Earth and put in the wrong body due to… extenuating circumstances.

“Circumstances?”

Look, communicating to people who are alive on Earth is difficult, no time to explain. Do you want to see her again?

“I can see her again? How? I mean, yes! I do!”

You’re not originally part of my world, but right now there’s a catastrophe on the way that Aria will have to stop, and she needs all the help she can get. And I have enough power to create one possible birth of a new soul into the world. 

Going to another world just to see Aria again? It sounds like a lot, but also… staying here doesn’t seem much better right now. I hide it, but I’ve felt like I’ve been missing something for a long time. I thought it was love for a long, long time, but I’m not sure. It might just be reasoning to myself, but I think that I’ll find it, chasing after the girl that went on ahead of me. 

So you know what?

“I’ll do it.”

It shall be done. Unlike with Aria, you don’t have a set body or name in this other world. Whatever happens will be up to fate. Is that alright with you?

“That’s perfectly fine. I don’t… particularly have much attachment to this body anyway, now that I think about it.”

Okay then. You will be born on the same day of Aria’s birth, and in a family with similar circumstances. Looking into the future, your best possibility to meet her is by chasing down the path of an adventurer, and heading to the adventurer’s academy by your 10th birthday. Good luck Troy. 

I nodded to the Goddess I couldn’t see, and took one last determined look at the grave of the girl I love. 

I’ll see you again.

 

Author’s note: TBH not too proud of this chapter but it’s setting up future plot so it stays. Also Troy was totally called Ty in the beginning but I misremembered their name in a later chapter and now I like Troy more so that also stays. 



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