"I call."
"Call."
"C-call."
"Fold."
Our journey brings us to this moment, where it appears that 4 grown ass men in white t-shirts and sweatpants are playing a friendly match of poker.
"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!!!"
"HAHAHA I WIN AGAIN!!!!"
"I l-lost so many hours!"
"You win some and you lose some. I can get those hours back eventually."
Winning a poker game feels good. I feel like going to Vegas after beating these fucks asses! Of course, I would if I wasnt trapped in a goddamn mental hospital!
Yeah, this is my reality. To someone in my shoes, it may look like four people who look oddly alike are playing some sunday night poker, but an outsider would only see some crazy ass motherfucker arguing with himself.
For me, Jack Martin, this is normal sunday poker night and we dont stake money...we stake time!
For the record, I don't mean it in the Davy Jones way were losing means another century in the locker, but it is a way for me and my three buddies to not only pass the time in this dull ass looney bin, but also divide the driving time for my body!
What I mean by that is that these guys are my other personalities. I first found out they existed after my fourth mental breakdown and boy howdy was that one a doosey. But thats a story for another time.
After that breakdown, I was in the hospital because I had a seizure that was very bad so I was put in a hospital and when I woke up I saw these three who looked like me and when I pointed it out to the doctor, what did he say?
Doctor: It seems that your son has Schizophrenia.
That was a pain in the ass! My folks are just chatting away with the doctor and im there just chatting to these three fucks getting looked at like im some lunatic!
I learned a lot from them. Specifically, the first guy who was a me that had a very confident looking face. He mentioned the moment he was created was after the cringe fest that was me trying to jump like Lego Yoda. But you already know that story. Basically, this asshole was created because at that time when I was having a mental breakdown, I was so determined and full of pure willpower to do that damn jump. But I could not handle all that strain on my mind, so I unconsciously created another personality to send all that damn willpower and determination.
Apparently, all three of these fucks were created after my mental breakdowns which was a result of overwhelming emotions and in order to keep me from being a vegetable, I unconsciously created a new personality. So, I am pretty much Norman Bates from Psycho or Diavolo from Jojo, but that doesn't explain how I can see these fucks and give them control of my body.
Well as I mentioned earlier, my fourth mental breakdown, which again was a cluster fuck, caused my mind to become so fucked up that my unconscious mind came in clutch again and put all those emotions that were flooding into my head into those guys and thus giving them more power and thus completely giving them their own unique personalities. Make sense? I didn't think so.
So, after that, these fucks now had the mental capacity to operate my body, which was a fucking trainwreck!
But there is only so much they can do since im the captian of this ship, if they take over my body forcefully, they will strain my mind and harm me, which was a big nono for them since we all live in the same body. Thus, we share hours that we can take turns of controlling my body. The first time I let one of them control my body was weird, but I could still communicate so I became a backseat driver and if I see any fuckery from these guys, I will Captain Phillips this shit and take it over!
And so we can bet our time in a poker match because living in a mental hospital is boring as fuck! Since I'm a fucking nutter there is only so much I can do outside of the recreational area where the other loons are. So, we play poker.
Despite looking like me, these guys are also a lot like me as they can think in a lot of similar ways as me, except for the fact that their personalities are completely different. Thus, the poker matches can be intense because we all know each other very well which makes bluffing near impossible.
Jack: Looks like I'm the captain for 20 hours bitches! Git Gud hehehe!
???: HAHAHA EAT SHIT PHIL!!!
Phil: L-losses are natural. I can get back my hours next time.
Jack: Fuck that, I bet you feel like a lost puppy inside right now about to cry. hehehehe!
Today was a lucky day as I came in clutch with a straight flush while mister willpower is only had a straight. I love crushing that dudes hopes because he is such a jackass.
Yeah, I personally dont like any of these guys. They were all born from my embarrassing mental breakdowns. The guy who lost 10 hours in the poker game to me was the first one to be created by the ol' unconscious mind after the Lego Yoda incident as I call it, Phil.
The others also have names that I made up on the go because I didnt have anything else, so I just pulled a Gru from Despicable Me and named them Tim, Mark and then Phil. Tim was born from the mental breakdown I had when I was scared shitless and Mark was born from the time I was so pissed, I triggered another mental breakdown. These mental breakdowns gave life to these fucks and now im stuck with them.
So, they each have their own characteristics that make them special, Tim is a giant pussy, Mark is an angry asshole and Phil is a determined and hopeful lad! And then there is me. I'm just one lazy motherfucker who get shoved in a damn looney bin by his folks and is bored as fuck and tired of being drugged up with some bullshit medicine that don't do shit.
So thats my story. Now im just a nutter who plays with himself all the time. Somedays its UNO, somedays its Skip-Bo but it's the same shit and im tired of it. The only time I get something new is when I have to go outside but I have to be around the other wackos so its bothersome. I am always having to keep an eye out for them because believe it or not, these guys can be dangerous. It's all because of that asshole Mark and his hot temper that I have to watch my ass.
