"Dark. Groggy. Hungry."

These were the primitive thoughts that went through my newborn dreaming mind.

"But then, what is Dark?"

"What is Groggy?"

"What is Hungry?"

"Who am I? What am I? Why do I feel? Why do I know things that I have never heard or experienced before? Why do I ask myself these trivial questions? What is even a trivial question? What is a question, anyways? Why can I ask myself these questions? Why can I even think? What is the concept of thinking?"

There are so many unfamiliar yet familiar concepts.

So many unanswered questions. Yet no one to answer them but my mind and shambles of memories that were mine, yet not my own.

Visions, Voices, Knowledge.

My immature mind began to try and sort out the fragments, trying to make sense of my many unanswered questions. Slowly, some foreign pieces integrated into my mind, giving me much-needed succor.

 

"I was a human man named... Jacque. Or, at least, the original owner of these memories was Jacque. I shall assume I was him before since I have no other memories or recollections."

I concluded from some of the memory fragments.

"Now, what am I?"

I asked myself as I combed through my shambled memories.

 

"A tower. A simple room. Books. Magic. Studying. Teachers. Fellow students."

"Apprentice Wizard. I was an apprentice wizard."

"But, why do I know these things? How did I get these memories?"

Again, I searched through the memories of Jacque, including memories of untold pain that I wanted to forget immediately.

 

"Heartbreak. Sexual Disfunction. Demonic Ritual. Pleasure. Agony. Death."

"I died. Or, at least, Jacque died."

"But, this raises another question. If he is dead, and I am him, shouldn't I also be dead? And, if I am dead, how can I even think? Do I even exist?"

 

After thinking about the question for some time, I reached an answer.

 

"I think, therefore, I exist."

"As for whether I am Jacque or not, I shall think about it later."

 

Giving myself a mental nod, I started addressing more urgent issues. Such as my current discomfort.

"Why do I feel so dizzy? How do I make it go away?"

I tried to comb the memories in my mind for the reasons and a possible solution.

"Migraine? Overloaded mind? Perhaps soul damage? Maybe because of death? And the solution is that it will go away by itself? If not, go to the doctor or the local priest? Useless."

I cursed in my mind and decided to switch my focus to something else, the Dark that shrouds me.

 

"What is Dark? Why is it Dark?"

Again, I searched my memories.

"Dark is the lack of light? It's dark because my eyes are closed? What are eyes, then?"

I continued searching and soon found answers.

Over-detailed answers.

"Occular sensory organs? Situated on the head? On the face, below the forehead?? Detects light sources and sends them as information to the brain???"

After digesting the weird information in my mind, I couldn't help but complain.

"This has solved my query, but it has also raised a slew of new ones."

After filtering all the unnecessary information, I asked myself a more vital question.

"How do I open my eyes? Hm? Open my eyelids? Then, how do I do that?"

 

This time, it wasn't the memory fragments that answered me, but what I would soon know as my body instincts.

My two eyelids slowly opened themselves for the first time, dissipating some of the darkness that shrouded me. I could finally see. 

At first, the world around me was relatively dark, but soon, as if responding to the dark, my eyes acclimated to the dark and I could see the world clearly in black and white.

The first sight that greeted my eyes was a white and cracked stone ceiling with a bit of black-colored moss growing on it. 

 

How did I know what they were? The moment I saw them, relevant information popped into my mind.

"Convenient. Now I don't need to ask myself every time I see something new."

 

After dealing with the first two problems, I had one more pressing matter to solve.

Hunger.

"What is hunger? How do I solve it?"

I looked through the memories of Jacque for an answer.

 

"My body needs sustenance to survive? And I need to eat food? Buy it from a place that serves food?"

I then started asking myself a series of questions, every time getting an answer that needed another question.

"Then, how do I buy it, then? Go to the place that serves the food? How do I go there? By walking? How do I walk? By using my legs? What are legs? Limbs attached below my torso? Then how do I use my legs? By getting up? Then how do I get up? By propping myself up? How do I prop myself up? By using my hands and back muscles? How do I use them?"

This time, my body instincts took over as I felt two limbs attached to my shoulders start to move in some sort of force of habit, propping me up off the ground with the help of my back muscles.

As my body moved, so did my field of vision. 

The first thing I saw before my eyes was a large and tall statue of a scantily dressed female human, and a beautiful one at that.

For some unknown reason, as I looked upon this statue, I was filled with a mixture of contradictory feelings.

On the one hand, I felt a strong sense of worship and closeness towards the statue, and on the other hand, I felt a strong sense of loathing and contempt. The rest was an appreciation of the artwork.

"Do I know her?"

As I tried to recall, a name popped into my head.

"Erta. Goddess of romantic freedom, sexual liberty, and consensual sex."

I blankly stared at the statue, trying to make sense of this information.

"What are these weird-sounding things that she governs? Why do I feel these strange and contradictory feelings towards this statue?"

I asked myself this, but no dice.

Rumple* Rumble*

My stomach growled, protesting at its growing hunger.

"I should stop wasting time and find this so-called food before I starve."

I decided as I looked at my legs, wanting to move them. However, my eyes froze as I stared at them. Attached to my torso were two skinny white legs. However, what surprised me was that my feet only had four large fingers each, decorated with sharp black claws.

"Were Jacque's legs always this skinny? More importantly, do humans have four fingers on their toes? Or claws? Then, what about my hands? Are they also the same?"

Turning my head to the side, I looked at my right hand. A skinny white arm with a hand with three large fingers and a thumb. All with sharp black claws.

"According to Jacque's memory, these are not his hands. Or Human hands, at that."

 

I was a bit confused because I assumed that I was a Human, but let it go since my hunger got the better of me.

"First, food. Then worry about other things."

Letting go of any more useless thoughts, I attempted to move my legs to stand up. It went surprisingly well, and I soon managed to stagger to my feet.

Standing up with my back straight made me feel weirdly uneasy, however. It was as though I wasn't supposed to do it. It felt unnatural. My body prompted me to change positions, to crouch down. It wanted me to walk on four.

"Are humans supposed to feel like this? Did Jacque experience it too?"

I wondered as I started to turn my head and scan the room I was in, hoping to find food.

The room was large yet relatively empty, with no exit aside from a single wrecked door. The only decorations in the room were the large statue and a large, wrecked, and half-burnt wooden bed frame at the center of the room, right behind me.

Aside from these, there was also a broken metal container smashed into a corner of the room, called a lantern in Jacque's memories, along with a half-burnt wooden bowl and a broken brush that were in another part of the room. Lastly, I found neatly folded clothes in a corner of the room, along with two leather shoes, undergarments, and a leather purse resting on top of the robes.

"I recognize the clothes and purse. They belonged to Jacque. And I also recognize the room. It was the room where Jacque died while attempting the ritual."

"And, according to Jacque's memory, his purse has some food in it!"

Eager to sate my hunger, I wobbled with my feet to the purse, but after barely taking a few steps, I fell.

Thump*

"KRaaa!"

I uttered a weird voice in surprise as I landed on my hands. However, a fact suddenly dawned on me.

"Ah han Tahk?! Wah Thoh ah Sshouth Lihaik Dhath?" - "I can talk?! Why do I sound like that?"

I said in a high-pitched voice. However, what I uttered barely resembled my words. I felt a forked tongue in my mouth brushing against pointy teeth. It made my speech sound weird and incoherent.

Rumble* Rumble*

My stomach once again rumbled, reminding me of my hunger.

After looking at Jacque's purse and then at my four-fingered hands, I hesitated for a moment about whether to try something my body urged me to do.

"Should I try walking on all four? Humans don't do that, right? Only human infants do that, and I am not an infant, right?"

I struggled for a moment longer before I gave up after another assault of hunger pangs.

"Forget it. Food first. Worry about human ethics later."

After deciding that, I started walking on all four hands and feet to the purse. Surprisingly, it was easy, natural, and graceful. I felt like what Jacque would describe as walking like a feline.

I soon arrived near Jacque's clothes and purse, but I found them strangely large. Too large. About four to five times as large as in Jacque's memories.

"Now that I think about it, the entire room is much larger than in Jacque's memories. Is it just my imagination? Did the room get bigger? Or... Am I just that small?"

I blinked my eyes in question but my body didn't stop, greedily stretching my hand to the purse.

However, as I grabbed it and attempted to drag it to myself, I frowned, as I found it heavy. Too heavy.

"Was Jacque's pouch always this heavy? In his memory, it wasn't light but was of bearable weight. Am I that weak?"

I frowned as I decided to climb on top of Jacque's robes and open the purse from above. After untying the string that held the purse closed, I opened the purse and checked the contents.

Nothing but darkness greeted my eyes.

"Hm? That's not right. Such a heavy purse should have things in it, right?"

I thought as I tried to recall memories of the purse.

"Ah! I see. Jacque enchanted it with a spell to create room for more items and reduce the weight. I just need to put my hand inside and think about what I want."

After understanding the crux of the issue, I gingerly put my hand inside the purse and thought about the food in Jacque's memory.

As if responding to me, I felt something soft being placed on the palm of my hand.

"Sure enough, it worked!"

I thought as I pulled out my hand, bringing with it half a loaf of bread. It was fluffy and looked fresh.

"According to Jacque's memories, this is basic human food. It should stop the hunger."

I smiled to myself as I brought the loaf to my mouth, to take a bite. However, just as it reached near my mouse, my nose twitched as I smelled something disgusting.

"Ugh! Why does it stink?! It should smell good, right?!"

Rumble* Rumble*

My stomach once again protested.

"Dammit, I am too hungry to complain. Eat it now, think later."

Steeling myself, I forced myself to take a bite out of the bread, only to realize that it tasted awful in my mouth. I wanted to spit it out, but I needed to solve my hunger, or I would starve.

"You must eat, you must eat!"

I kept repeating to myself as I forced the disgusting thing down my throat.

"Ugh... That was disgusting... URK!"

"BLEURGH!"

Even though I should have been hungry, my stomach couldn't handle the vile thing, so I immediately vomited it out.

"Why? Why can't I eat it? There is nothing wrong with the bread, so why can't I eat it?"

I asked myself with tears in the corner of my eyes. In anger, I threw the loaf to another part of the room.

Rumble* Rumble*

My stomach growled again, with even greater intensity than before. The act of vomiting made me even hungrier.

"I need food! But, that bread was the only food Jacque had in his pouch. Where do I find food?"

Tak* Tak*

I froze as I heard a sound come from the door. A large furry creature entered the room.

"A rat? But why is it so big? And... why does it look so... delicious..."

I looked at it and subconsciously drooled.

The rat didn't seem to notice me as it twitched its nose and locked its gaze on the bread I threw away. It hesitated for a moment before it skittered to the bread and started eating its fill, oblivious of me covetously watching it.

I didn't think anymore, as instinct took over my body. My gaze narrowed and focused on the delicious prey in front of me. My heartbeat slowed down to a crawl and my senses sharpened as I crouched down and prowled towards my prey, taking one careful step at a time.

One step. Two steps. Three steps. I silently approached the furry creature. Soon, I covered half the distance, being careful that I was out of its line of sight.

Tak*

I made a small mistake as I accidentally knocked on a pebble, creating an audible noise in this silent room.

As expected, the rat paused its ravenous eating just as I paused my steps.

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.

I noticed that the rat started twitching, hesitating whether to run or continue eating. I, on the other hand, didn't need any more considerations. I was close enough.

TAK* TAK* TAK*

I jumped into action, like a predator, pouncing on the prey.

"Squeak!"

The rat cried as it attempted to escape, but in its panic, it accidentally ran to a dead-end, away from the door. That was all the advantage I needed.

"KREEEE!!!"

"SQUEAK!!!"

I shrieked as I jumped on the rat, piercing my fangs and claws into the shrieking and painfully panicking prey. Music to my ears.

Sweet nectar entered my mouth as I greedily sucked and gulped it down as the prey struggled, making it slowly grow weaker and weaker.

This time, my stomach didn't reject it. It accepted it and soothed my hunger, kindly asking for more. Who am I to say no?

Munch* Tear*

"Squeak... Squeak..."

The prey's struggles grew faint as I tore into it, soon growing as silent.

However, it didn't last for long, as the room was soon filled with the sound of tearing of flesh and crunching of bones.

 

By the time I came to, what was left was a pile of fur and bones and a satisfied stomach.

It was then that I realized that my first assumption was false.

"I am not human."