The prompt is: Truck-kun's latest mark is going to be problematic. After recruiting dozens of heroes to defeat demon lords across time and space, the most recent client god has requested the ultimate lifeform: Chuck Norris.

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In one of the billions of trillions of universes, there exists a tale as old as the existence of a certain religion. When the souls leave their mortal chains, they drift down into the soil holding them up. They’ll go down and down and down until they find themselves drifting into a chasm. Inside that chasm, the soul will find a river made of lost dreams, hope, and ideals. Floating upon the discarded waste of humanity, is a robed figure standing on a wooden boat that looks like it’ll crack if it so much as bumps into a pillow. That robed figure’s name is Charon, and out of all religious views, the people who came up with that man rowing a boat full of souls were the ones who got as close as possible to the truth of the afterlife.

So what is the truth? Well, it all starts with me, the real Charon. But Charon isn’t my real name. Then what is the name of an immortal, all powerful being such as I? Well, I actually don’t have a name. In fact, it was only recently that I acquired a name. Due to incidents of me killing people for the man above, so he can send them off somewhere else for his own amusement, I have been baptized a name that shares between all those events. They call me Truck-kun, the embodiment of death and rebirth. 

I always wondered why they called me such a ridiculous name. Well, I get why, of course. For some reason, God asked me to go around killing specifically Japanese teenagers in between the ages of fourteen and eighteen, and to disguise myself as a truck. Even when I went to universes where trucks aren’t a common mode of transportation, or even if the civilization is still using horses and carriages, I am forced to take shape of a truck. I asked him why, and he told me it was all for his amusement. 

At first, I thought it was so he could double over laughing as a teenager is tortured in a world much unlike their own. However, I noticed a pattern between the worlds God would send the teens to. They were primarily worlds where the men of the world were much more submissive than the summoned teens’ original world, and where the women were a lot more desperate to keep a strong man. Then, when I actually looked at God, it all clicked into place, and the situation went from plain confusing, to immeasurably pitiful.

Now, God called for me once more. I have to do my job as his right-hand truck and take the new job. As I rolled up to God, he stared down at a blue sphere floating along a black void. Other spheres floated along like it, but God held that specific blue sphere in place for the sole purpose of keeping watch on it.

Once I pulled up and parked right next to him, God raised his hand and refused to look away from the sphere. I looked into it as well, and I saw the reflection of a male teenager fighting a bodiless threat. The silhouette looked like it was beating the boy, and the boy cried out for help that might never arrive.

“Truck-kun,” God spoke without looking away from the sphere. “I have a new job for you.”

“What is it, my holy master?” 

If I had legs, I would have bowed on my knees. However, due to me constantly having to take form of a truck, I forgot my original form, and I couldn’t change back. For the rest of my days, I shall truly be a truck, but as long as it’s for my holy master, there is no greater pleasure in the world than to be a truck.

“Tell me, have you ever heard of the television show known as Walker Texas Ranger?”

I nodded my hood. “Yes sir, I believe I have. It is an American television show, correct?” 

I remembered hearing about such a show during one of my jobs. A Japanese man who was into western culture was talking about a show starring a character named Cordell Walker. I didn’t hear much after that since I ran him over, and at the time, it seemed to be inconsequential. Now, with my holy master bringing it up, I couldn’t help but have the need to pummel my past self for disregarding crucial information.

“Well, as you can see from the Universe Sphere here, this hero is having trouble. I think it’s strange that he’s having a difficult time, considering the fact I gave him some of my power.”

“What does that have to do with a television show?” 

God looked at me, his shadow black unkempt hair covering his eyes as to avoid me seeing what he could be thinking. 

“The main character of the show is played by a man named Chuck Norris. This Chuck Norris is the most supreme being that has been born into the world. Even without my godly power, he can rival some of the heroes you sent me.”

The idea that a man without any of my holy master’s powers appalled me. He’s the God of creation itself, so the idea that someone could be born with that level of power was absolutely absurd. But it must have been the case, since it was my holy master who was saying this. 

“Would you want me to bring them to you, my holy master?” I asked.

“Yes, I would like you to. I want him to give this young man some assistance to overcome his current and future trials.” 

A simple matter indeed. This Chuck Norris character may be a strong fellow, but there’s no way he could meet the strength of one such as I. The only one that exceeds my level of tenacity and overwhelming power would be this God before me. 

“It’ll be done quickly.” I confidently said, with my headlights on.

Before I turn away to head out and kill this Chuck Norris guy, God raises his hand, and I’m forced to look at him. 

“Don’t be so doubtful of that man’s strength.” God warns me.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at God’s warning. As soon as I realized I had laughed involuntarily, which was actually just a series of honks, I shut myself up and stood to attention, turning my headlights off in the process. 

“I’m sorry for my rudeness, my holy master, but I doubt that there is someone with such strength that they could ever best me.”

“I will give you this one piece of information before you go.” God said. He lifted his hair and I could finally meet his glorious, spectacular, pitch black emotionless eyes. “Chuck Norris has many surprises up his sleeve. Don’t doubt humanity’s power to conjure up heroes of their own.”

With that, I rode away with a sinking feeling of foreboding writhing and squirming in my passenger seat. The idea of someone truly being that strong just didn’t set well with me, but at the same time, I couldn’t believe God was lying. Maybe he was just overestimating Chuck’s power and underestimating my own. 

As I break open a portal to the realm Chuck Norris resides in, I set myself straight on task. It’s just the same job, but with a different person. All I need to do is drive top speed and God will force the universe to have Chuck walk in the middle of the road without looking either direction and being a complete dumbass. With that done, I hit him. A new red streak paints the road, and God is proud of me once again. 

I drive through the portal, and I find myself parked just outside of a film set. Cameras and people are crawling around with the same speed and precision of ants collecting meals for the queen. The cameras were all aimed directly at two men having a brawl in the middle of the chaotic crew. Suddenly, an image of my target appeared in my brain, and I could identify Chuck Norris from the crowd.

Chuck was wearing a blue jean jacket with a sheriff badge pinned on the breast area of the cloth. With every kick he performed, the loose jeans moved with him, jostling around with the amount of power put behind each attack. The criminal he attacked at backed away, and he attempted to pull a gun out, but before he could, Chuck rushed him and kicked the gun out of his hand. As soon as that action was performed, a man sitting in a chair yelled for them to stop, and the cameramen lowered their arms. 

Chuck and the criminal returned to their normal positions and reasonable people, and they walked and talked while hearing about the next scene that was to be performed the next day, morning sharp. 

There wouldn’t be a next day after this was over, I thought. 

After all, he’s about to die, anyway. There wouldn’t be anything to be sad about, however, since he’ll be able to help God with his fixation on living through the lives of Japanese people getting everything they ever wanted, whether it be to kick tons of ass, lay with hot women, or a combination of both. 

After their discussion finished, Chuck waved goodbye to everyone and approached his car, which was conveniently parked on the other side of the road. I revved my engine and waited for the right moment. Usually, there would be a wandering teenager or child that’s playing in the road to lure the hero, but that wouldn’t be needed this time. All that needed to be done was the eventual death of Chuck Norris. 

Chuck stepped one foot into his grave, and my wheels began turning. Smoke from the friction of rubber against pavement whisked into the air as I barreled toward the hero at speeds that no truck could possibly reach. 

As I was about to hit him, Chuck turned to me, sensing his impending demise. We both looked at each other’s eyes, and I wondered how his body would feel going underneath my tires. It would only last a second, but that second will change the life of this man forever. Chuck better have said goodbye to his family, cause this was the last time they’ll ever see him alive.

Suddenly, with no warning, Chuck stuck his foot out. I didn’t understand what he was doing, so I took it as one last stand before death. This man is someone who fights back before letting himself be taken down. That’s something I could respect. 

What I didn’t expect from this was that foot stopping me completely in my tracks. As soon as the grill of my hood touched the bottom of his boot, my tires came to a screeching halt. I continued to press on the pedal, but no matter how hard I pressed, I couldn’t move forward.

Chuck, without any warning whatsoever, put weight on his leg, and the power behind his push sent me back, and the entire left side of my metal body nearly tipped over. I traveled a distance of nearly ten feet before stopping, and I could only stare as he placed his foot back on the ground, eyes giving me death stares that normally wouldn’t frighten me, but in this case at least sent a few shivers into me. 

“Who’s driving the truck!” Chuck called out to me.

I couldn’t answer back. My nonexistent lips were sealed from the amount of power this man possessed. God was right, after all. This is going to take much more effort than just running him over. 

“I asked who’s driving the truck!” Chuck yelled again, this time with more demand in his voice.

Instead of providing him with an answer, I revved my engine again and charged at him once more. Smoke and tire marks trailed behind me as I put in as much power as I could within this single push. Chuck rolled his sleeves and braced for impact. I slammed into him with all my might and pushed Chuck back slightly, but he still managed to hold on.

We fought at a stalemate, constantly pushing at one another, seeing who would give in first and crumble under the weight of our power. This was what God meant by humanity producing heroes of their own. It sickened me that someone with this level of strength managed to be born in the world without my holy majesty’s permission. 

Still, none of us could make a move on each other, and I noticed everyone around us was trying to get involved as well. Some people took out their phones and began recording the event, while others called for the police. Some even began throwing rocks at my tire, and although I didn’t fear anything popping since not even diamonds could pierce my tires, the rocks could wedge themselves in my tires, stopping them, forcing me to lose any momentum I built up. The scenery needed some changes.

I opened a portal directly behind Chuck Norris, and I positioned it at just the right angle so half his foot was hanging off. No matter his strength, there was no way he could keep his posture being so off balance. And I was right. He fell back, and I followed after him, closing the portal behind me. 

Chuck fell, and I looked around to see where we ended up. I just opened a random portal in the sky of a random dimension, so we could’ve ended up anywhere. However, on immediate inspection, I figured out our location right off the bat. 

Trees made entirely of cartilage and bone towered above us. Instead of the calmness and normality of green leaves, strips of flesh replaced them and they rustled about in an uncomfortably hot wind. A river of a green bubbling substance stretched far beneath us, and the grass below us was completely burnt and crisp. We fell toward a literal hellscape.

Chuck will die of the fall. There’s no question about that. However, I couldn’t just let him die like that. The only way he could meet God is if he dies by my hands. Any other method would end up with him being reincarnated in a random body not of anyone’s choosing, and he’d forget his memories. I couldn’t believe that I’d need to bring out such a power for a human, but if I don’t and he dies normally, then I’d have failed my holy master.

I concentrated as hard as I could, and rockets popped out of my exhaust pipes. Concentrating even harder, I focused most of my power on the rockets, and I soared toward the ground faster than Chuck did. He screamed and shouted, asking where he was so much that he failed to notice my descent. 

Once my tires hit the ground, I shut the rockets off and positioned myself directly under him. Chuck looked down, and he saw me under him. There’s no way he could break out of the dead end he set for himself, and he knew it. All he should do is pray.

As Chuck fell from heights that would kill anything with a pulse, he turned in the air, positioning himself so his feet were under him. I didn’t understand what that would accomplish, but he did something I believed to be impossible once again. His feet landed on my truck bed, and instead of dying on impact like a good mortal, he somehow managed to redirect his momentum without killing himself. With a simple kick, he changed his momentum before hitting the ground, and significantly weakened the killing blow. He flew out of my truck bed, and he hit the ground with his hands, flipping until he righted himself.

I could only stare in awe at the mortal. The power needed to perform such an act was not one that any normal mortal could possess. So, it turns out I do need to take him seriously.

“Who are you, and where did you end up taking me?” Chuck yelled. “Answer before I reach in that window and force you out.”

The hot wind picked up, burning the grass even further. Some of them gave up living and detached themselves from the dead soil, turning into ash. The air around us filled itself with the ash of the dead plants. 

Despite the chaos happening around us, I couldn’t help but let a slight chuckle escape. Chuck raised an eyebrow at me, confused by my joy, but I couldn’t help it. It’s just been so long since I’ve had someone really challenge me like this. 

“Who am I, you ask?” I said. “Well, you’re going to hear my name, and remember it for the rest of your life, and the life you’ll get after this one.” 

I concentrated as hard as I could, focusing power into my metallic body. Even the floating ash sensed my overwhelming power and floated toward me, orbiting my body like planets orbiting their God. Chuck waited like a good warrior should, as I powered up and created limbs for myself for the first time since I turned myself into this blasted truck. 

I stood on legs that used to be the tires I rode around on. The truck doors opened, and arms popped out of the sockets, already bound into fists and ready to wallop their enemy. I fell to the ground, my knees burrowed into the soil. It’s been such a long time since I’ve walked, but once I got my bearings, I pounded my fist into the ground; the force bending the earth and forming a crater beneath me. I hopped on my two feet, and Chuck raised his arms, ready for combat.

“My name is Truck-kun, and you are the first worthy opponent I’ve met.” 

With no more time for words, I dashed at him with my newly found legs. I reeled back my hand and punched him, the wind backing away, terrified of the power I exuberated. Just like a worthy opponent should, Chuck met my fist with his own, and we locked eyes with each other, a fiery passion for combat igniting within us. 

After the first punch came the second, then followed up with a third. After that, we went all out, punches flying so hard, so quick that not even I could keep track of all of them. I punched on instinct, leaving my senses trailing behind. 

With each punch, our fists collided with each other, and the force from our all out combat tore the very ground beneath us. The surrounding air heated to such a degree that the grass burned with each punch, and the coming ash orbited our onslaught, only to be blown away by the wind, then sucked back in. 

I found an opening and launched a punch at his chin. As I was about to make contact, Chuck had to surprise me once again. A third fist appeared out of nowhere from his beard and stopped my punch. The suddenness of it stunned me so much that I accidentally left myself open. Chuck wailed at me, punching my hood, body, and windows. 

Right away, I knew I had to take this somewhere else. If I didn’t distract him, then there’d be a very real case that I’d lose. Opening a portal beneath our feet, we fell through to another world at random. 

Where we fell to may not have been the best option, since upon coming to this new world, we were thrust immediately into another battle. A monster raged in a village, and the people of this world were putting up a drastic fight to defeat it. 

I searched around for Chuck, but he wasn’t anywhere within my sight. For a second, I thought he somehow managed to slip through my fingers. I managed to find him a second later when I turned toward the monster. It turned out Chuck used the momentum from one of his kicks to dash toward the monster.

I couldn’t just let him get away from me, so I reignited my rockets and began blasting toward him. I wasn’t able to make it in time, however, due to him somehow speeding up from the last time he fell. 

With a few more kicks, he made his way to the monster, and with one powerful kick, the head ripped cleanly off. Blood erupted from the stump of the neck, and the monster corpse lazily fell to the ground. The people of the village had no idea what had just happened, but they wouldn’t need to.

As Chuck fell back toward the ground, much steadier than before, he forgot about me barreling toward him. I hit him straight on with my hood and opened a new portal to another world. We went straight through it, and I stopped as soon as we entered the world, sending Chuck flying. 

He landed some distance away, and he groaned on the ground. It was noble of him to risk his life to stop that monster from destroying the village, but this was where it ended for him. Retracting my arms and legs, I went back on my four tires, and this time, I layered more rockets across my body. 

With a honk of power, I turned on all the rockets at once, and charged at the broken Chuck Norris. However, as the mighty human he was, he looked up from his crumpled position, and stood up upon seeing the oncoming death. He stuck all three of his hands out and braced for impact.

I slammed into him, and we broke into another stalemate. Our power whirled around us in an extreme whirlwind of pressure and terror. With a long honk of my horn, I stepped up my rockets power, and with a yell for his life, Chuck pushed back even harder. Our clash of power became so grand that as soon as we hit the climax, and a winner was decided, a bright flash of light blinded us.

***

“So, that is the outcome of the match?” God asked.

“Well, I’m alive. Aren’t I?” I said, bowing my hood to my holy master’s presence.

God played around with the same sphere he had ever since he sent me on my quest to begin with. I couldn’t see anything nefarious going on inside it, but it was hard to tell from the angle I was in.

“Would you like to know something interesting?” God asked.

“What is it, my holy master?”

God grabbed the sphere and raised it, peering inside it like a detective would look at evidence of a murder. 

“You have already solved my problem for me.”

I raised my hood, confused about what my holy master was saying.

“One of your portals during your fights led to this sphere. And the monster that Chuck just so happened to kill was the one I originally meant for him to fight in the first place.” 

The memories of the fight came back to me, and I gasped at the realization of it all. I was too caught up in the fight that I didn’t realize what world we were in at the time. That monster was truly the same one that Chuck was meant to kill.

“So, what are you going to do with Chuck now?” I asked.

“Simple. I’m just going to brief him on why he’s here, then send him off to another world with some of my powers, just like always.” God signaled for me to leave after he explained that to me. “You may depart, Truck-kun. I’ll call you when I have another job for you.”

Raising my hood, I turn and leave, a new lesson burned into my brain. Humanity truly isn’t just weak creatures. There may be other men and women out there with strength similar to, or even surpassing that of Chuck Norris. But one thing’s for certain. If I’m destined to fight them again, then I hope they give it their all.