Chapter 24: Mushroom Forest

After breakfast we set out, our direction fixed on Charon's docks. The path there would lead us through one of the enormous mushroom forests, then to one of the towns built around the giant stone pillars and from there it would only be another two days until we reached the docks.

The scenery was just as gorgeous as it had been the day before. I'd thought the novelty would wear off but the weird dichotomy of knowing we were in a cave but having what appeared to be a night sky above kept me amazed. Everything looked so huge, so open, as if I could see a shooting star at any moment but every plant and every animal I saw was a continuous reminder that we were underground, with luminescent mosses and mushrooms and most of the animals being newts and insects.

Oh, there were other lifeforms as well. Part of the way to the mushroom forest had taken us through a gorgeous meadow of shockingly mundane flowers. Of course less mundane had been the dog-sized albino bees harvesting pollen from them. It warmed my heart to see that Selene wasn't afraid of these the way she was of most oversized insects. We'd already seen these in Shackled Hollow and they were very docile so long as you didn't attack them, which we had no reason to. But there were also normal animals. From the meadow we'd seen a small herd of deer grazing on the carpet of moss that covered most of the ground in the same manner that grass covered the plains above ground. Apparently the place wasn't that hostile if animals like these could survive down here, but then again the deer didn't venture within fifty yards of the mushroom forest.

After a few hours we finally reached said forest and honestly, 'mushroom forest' was a bit of a misnomer. Yes, it had mushrooms the size of trees and yes, they made up the bulk of the forest, but there were also a couple normal trees in it, particularly towards the center.

The mushrooms came in several different types. There was something that looked like a giant porcini mushroom with a wide, brown round umbrella-like top, something that looked like a giant morel with its distinctly phallic tip, something like a chanterelle with its distinct ocher color and wide, flat top and finally something I couldn't identify but that Yume said reminded her of shimeji mushrooms from her homeland, clusters of thin-stemmed mushrooms with round tops, except unlike the shimeji mushrooms Yume apparently knew these ones glowed in gentle blues and pinks. They were also just about the only illumination inside the forest as the mushrooms with their massive tops and the few normal trees blocked out most of the fake starlight from overhead. Speaking of, the normal trees were once again utterly incongruous in this alien place, pines and oaks dotted around the giant mushrooms. But as we walked I noticed something.

Many of the mushrooms sat on top of fallen, dead trees. Maybe once this entire forest had been entirely comprised of trees but as they'd died they'd slowly been taken over by the mushrooms. I wondered idly what this forest would look like in a hundred years, not that I'd be there to see it.

Unfortunately the gorgeous forest wasn't deserted. More than once we found monsters we had to dispatch, giant versions of the newts and insects we'd seen scuttling around outside the forest. They hadn't been too tough but I had a feeling that might change if they grew a little bigger.

Just as I thought this there was a loud crashing sound and a woman screamed in a terrified tone of voice: “Ulrich!”

I exchanged a look with the others as I was already drawing my blade. The sound had come from up ahead.

“We're helping, right?" Anna asked.

“Of course," I said.

“I can't let others see me," Athena said.

I growled: “Then cover up or something.” I honestly thought she was making too big a deal out of it. I knew who she was but I'd met her dozens of times. Anyone who didn't know her and hadn't seen her stepping off a beam of light would just think she was an unusually pretty woman traveling with a whole group of unusually pretty women and me.

I didn't even give her the time to make a snarky comment but instead ran ahead. I hurried but I didn't rush in blindly. I was well aware that if I wanted to set a trap for adventurers then fighting noises and a woman screaming in fear were pretty high up on the list of ways to do it.

Just a few yards more and we came across a clearing and it became obvious that this wasn't a trap. On the ground lay a dwarf with a massive bloody gash in his chest, a shield still on his left forearm and an axe laying on the ground beside his right hand. He was unconscious but still taking shallow breaths. A few yards away stood a Dark Elf woman, with the telltale snow white skin and hair so black it actually seemed to have a purple sheen to it, holding an ornate bow. From her expression she had likely been the one we'd heard screaming. And another few yards away, almost at the treeline, stood a being I'd only read about before. She had pale skin and long, straight red hair, her features beautiful despite being twisted up in a grimace. And she had legs that bent backwards like a goat's but below the thigh they were made of bronze. An empusa, a spirit of the underworld that ate emotions, particularly negative emotions. She was glowing with an aura of blue-gray force magic, nearly invisible force blades gathering around her, aimed at the thing that had harmed the dwarf.

The beast stood in the center of the clearing, reared up and absolutely horrifying. It was a millipede, except unlike a normal millipede this beast was enormous, at least fifty feet long and its body twice as thick as mine. It was white, with a blood red pattern that made it look pink if you didn't look closely at it. It was covered in thick, sharp plates of chitin and each of its legs looked like the point of a spear it was so sharp. It had a wickedly sharp pair of mouth parts and judging by the blood dripping off them that had clearly been what had hurt the dwarf.

The creature was already damaged, blue blood dripping from a dozen cuts that looked so clean I was certain they'd been inflicted by the empusa's force magic.

The beast also stood atop the corpse of a giant newt though I couldn't tell if the newt had been killed by the millipede or the adventurers.

“I fucking hate this godsforsaken place," Selene squeaked out as she beheld the awful beast in front of us.

“Lucky us, we get to kill it," I said. “Alisha, heal the dwarf. Yume, distract, then draw your blade. Anna, see if your arrows can pierce this thing, if not use your powers. Selene, with me.”

“What about me?" Athena asked.

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't wanted to say her name and as I looked back at her I saw that she had the hood of her cloak drawn comically low over her face. “Just do whatever," I said. “I still don't know exactly what you're capable of.”

“Alright," she said and we were off.

Selene ran after me as we interposed ourselves between the beast and the three adventurers. I really hoped they wouldn't attack us but the fear was laid to rest when Alisha healed the dwarf and the Dark Elf girl said: “Thanks for the help. We appreciate it.” She had a strange accent that I was a little curious about, not quite the same lilt as Alisha but not entirely different either.

“Thank us when this thing is dead," I said, then pulled out a shield and blocked the giant beast trying to bite me. The force of the blow damn near sent me tumbling but I held my ground and Selene used the opportunity to ram her sword into its body while the empusa chucked a bunch of force blades into its flank, severing a few of its legs and creating shallow cuts in its shell. Apparently it took quite a lot to pierce its carapace. Even Selene's massive sword enchanted for sharpness and armor-piercing had only sunk a few inches into its flesh.

But even those wounds were enough to make the beast jerk back. It hissed as us and an arrow from the Dark Elf bounced off its carapace while an arrow from Anna found one of the wounds and dug in deep.

I saw a light blue haze wafting over from Yume and when the beast lunged again it struck the empty ground to my right.

“Felix, Selene, back!" Alisha cried and we hurried to scramble out of the way before a trio of tornado lances struck the millipede, boring into its shell and then going wild, tearing pumpkin-sized holes into its body. Blue blood gushed out of the wounds and the thing curled up. For a moment I thought it was dead but then its body whipped out, swinging its back half at us the way a dragon might swipe with its tail. Selene, Yume, the Dark Elf and I were all struck and flew through the air, Selene in her armor striking one of the mushrooms. I'd thought they were more yielding but from the sounds of impact I had to assume at least some of these mushrooms were as sturdy as trees. The beast loomed over us, with Yume and me scrambling to get up and defend while Selene was likely hurt but then we heard Alisha intone:

“Soothing Sunlight!”

It was one of her newest miracles and the one she'd used the least, an area heal spell, not quite as powerful as her normal healing miracle but able to affect an entire group.

Even that would have barely been enough to get us back into the fight in time but then I heard Athena intone: “Charge forth, Palladion!” And a giant spear of solid light shot out of her palm and skewered the millipede from behind, tearing through the hard chitin like it wasn't even there.

Still, the beast had clearly decided to get rid of at least some of the problems plaguing it so despite the spear in its back it lunged at us, intending to take us out. Just before it would have connected with my shield a blue-gray force wall snapped into being between the beast and me. The millipede bounced off the barrier and I heard the empusa let out a grunt of effort, the impact clearly much more powerful than she'd expected.

Alisha could have likely done the same thing with her barrier miracle but Soothing Sunlight clearly worked different from Heal in that she had to keep channeling it if she wanted it to keep working, instead of simply intoning it and then watching the effect unfold. I could see Selene stirring again out of the corner of my eye so that was good.

I locked eyes with the empusa mage, still straining to keep her force wall up against the millipede, and held up five fingers, then four, then I flicked my eyes at the millipede.

She seemed to have gotten the message and nodded at me and when my mental count reached zero she dropped the barrier, the monster encountering no more resistance and finishing the lunge, striking empty air. I'd used a Qi Burst to launch myself above where the beast would land, then crashed down on its back, right underneath where Athena's miracle had drilled a hole into its shell. I charged another Qi Burst and then rammed Helios Edge into the wound, the lance of fire cooking it from the inside, going all the way into what passed for its brain.

The thing gave one last shudder and then crashed to the ground. We'd won.

I looked up to see both Selene and the dwarf back on their feet. “Everybody alright?" I asked.

“Yeah," the Dark Elf said. “You really saved our hides.”

“No problem," I said, pulling my sword out of the bug's guts and wiping it down. “So, who are you and why were you out here, if you don't mind me asking. This thing," I kicked the millipede, “seems a bit too tough for three people.”

The elf winced. “Right," she said. “I'm Karla, this oaf here is Ulrich and the pretty one over there," she nodded at the empusa, “is Daphne. We were out here hunting that Cthonian Salamander but just as we killed it the millipede ambushed us. So, who are you and what are you doing here?”

“Right," I said. “I'm Felix and these are Alisha, Selene, Yume and Anna, my companions.”

“What about her?" Daphne the empusa asked, pointing at the robed Athena who flinched at the attention.

“She's our client," I explained. I'd already come up with a bullshit story and this would be the first time I'd have to use it. “Her name is Aithia. She's a saintess of Athena and she asked us to escort her to Hades' realm to see a dead relative.”

“Hel's half-rotten tits," Karla said. “You come all the way down to the underworld just to talk to the dead?”

“It's very important to me," Athena said, her tone a touch waspish. At least she wasn't contradicting my story.

“Ye seem a little shady," Ulrich said. “Why're ye keepin' yer face covered?”

“No idea," I said. “I assume she's totally hideous underneath and doesn't want anyone to see.” I was a little proud of myself for not snickering at my own comment.

“Fuck you, Tailor," Athena said and then pulled the hood back, revealing her face with the ugly annoyed expression on it.

Ulrich's eyebrows rose. “Wasn't expecting that.”

“Down boy," Karla said, exasperated.

“You already have two pretty women to choose from," Daphne added.

Karla turned back to me and said: “We came here for that salamander's meat but I guess as thanks for saving our asses you should get the spoils.”

“Screw that," I said. “You killed that salamander and we all killed the bug together.”

“You sure?" she asked. “I really don't want to be in your debt.”

“You're headed back to town after this?" I asked.

“If we get to keep the salamander, then yes.”

I nodded. “Then just accompany us and we're even. Always easier to enter a new place if you have residents along.”

She grinned. “Sounds like a deal.” She turned to her companions. “Alright, let's get butchering.”

“Don't bother," I said and chucked a dismantling gem. I didn't know what would happen if I threw it in such a way as to hit two targets at the same time but I'd seen these gems dismantling much larger beasts so there shouldn't be any reason for it not to work on these two at once.

I'd aimed it to hit the spot where the two monsters touched and, as I'd hoped, the gem disassembled both monsters into their components.

“Damn," Ulrich said. “Never seen that before.”

“Really?" I asked. “They're relatively common on the surface.”

“Ye could make a killing with those down here," the dwarf said.

I started to grin but before I could open my mouth Alisha pointed a finger at me and said: “You are not starting a business for spell gems in the underworld. We don't need another side hustle.”

My face fell.

“She's got you pegged, Tailor," Athena said.

**

“So, what's the town called?" I asked as we traveled. With the nine of us none of the creatures in the forest had dared approach us anymore, especially with some of us smelling of the blood of the biggest predator that could be found inside the forest. And once we'd been out of the forest the way to the town had been rather straight-forward, though we'd still have to rest for another night before we got there.

“It's called Melinoe's Rest," Daphne said. For being a demon that gorged herself on emotion she was very pleasant company. She was also hopelessly in love with Ulrich, same as Karla. “So, what's up with you traveling with all these pretty women? Are they all fighting over you?”

I snorted. “No fighting necessary. Alisha, Selene, Yume, Anna and I are lovers.”

She blinked. “That... that's a thing? That works out?”

“Sure," I said. “We all care about each other, so it works.”

“What about Aithia?" she asked and it took me a heartbeat to remember who she meant.

“She's just our client," I said.

“Really?" she asked. “The emotions she's sending out...” She trailed off. “Never mind, I won't butt in.”

“Probably better," Karla said.

“But hold on, would that mean Ulrich might not have to choose between the two of us?" Daphne asked.

Karla blinked. “I... Would you be fine with that?”

“I always assumed you wouldn't be willing to share," Daphne replied.

“Are you kidding?" Karla asked. “Dark Elves are polygamous. I always thought you weren't willing to share so I never broached the subject.”

Ulrich wisely didn't contribute to the conversation but he caught my eye and mouthed: “Thank ye.”

I couldn't help but smile. He was a handsome man and had suffered injuries for these two women at least once and it was clear that this was the best possible outcome for him as well.

“So you're saying we've been one-upping each other for years for no reason?" Daphne finally asked, completely baffled.

“Apparently," Karla said, less shocked but still pleasantly surprised.

I left them to their little discussion, knowing that we'd have some privacy later when the three of them would discuss their new relationship dynamic. I was glad for them but also glad that we would get to talk amongst ourselves.

**

Soon enough we reached what looked like a good campsite, once again near the river. After impressing them with my dismantling gem it was their turn to impress us when Daphne cast out a net woven of force magic that she used to effortlessly catch a dozen trouts.

Alisha decided to make dinner and the three adventurers were curious to see what we'd make because apparently surface world ingredients were rare down here. I'd been hoping the three of them would do the cooking as I was just as curious about their cuisine but I figured we'd get to sample the local cuisine in Melinoe's Rest tomorrow.

During dinner I asked: “So, why even bother killing one of those newts? If fishing is this easy for you then food can't be a problem.”

“The Salamanders are a much better food source," Karla said. “More meat on them for the time it takes to catch one. We just had bad luck.”

“More like shite equipment," Ulrich grumbled.

“What do you mean?" I asked.

“We use insect repellent to make sure we can hunt the Salamanders in peace without getting attacked by the millipedes," he explained. “Except this time the insect repellent apparently didn't work.”

“We'll have words with the merchant, don't you worry," Daphne said.

“Speaking of merchants," Karla said. “Trade with the surface world kind of dried up the last few days. You're the first surface dwellers we've seen in a while. What's up with that?”

I winced. “We heard that merchants were scared to come down the tunnels because some travelers had gone missing. On the way down we found a tunnel that wasn't on the map.” Ulrich winced. I figured this wasn't too uncommon an occurrence. “We went down it and found this giant spider monster and signs that it had killed at least one traveler.”

“Did ye kill it?" the dwarf asked.

“Yeah," I said. “Nasty fucker. Almost immune to magic and enchanted weapons.”

“It was green, wasn't it?" Daphne asked.

“Yeah," I said. “Black with some bright green in the joints.”

“Erebos gem overdose," she said with a nod. “A new vein was found recently and since then there's been a huge increase in gem-tainted monsters.”

“A new vein?" I asked, then pulled out the ones the spider had dropped. “So that means we won't be getting much for these?”

Her eyes widened. “These are big enough to be worth something but I'm sure you'll get more for them on the surface.”

“How effective are they?" I asked. “I was considering making something with these.”

She shuddered. “Just don't hand them to any mage. Even one of the small ones, worked into a necklace, could make it almost impossible for a mage to cast spells.”

“Does it make it harder to touch the mana?" Alisha asked.

Daphne shook her head. “Oh you can still touch it, but it feels like you're working through a layer of honey. I guess you could train your magic by forcing yourself to work with that disadvantage but it would be torture.”

“Felix, toss me one of those," Alisha said and I did. She held the stone in her hand and then summoned her aura. It took her ten times as long to do so as it would normally but she did manage it. I could see the strain on her face as she summoned forth a single air lance and then sent it out.

“That was pretty impressive," Daphne said. “I can barely summon my aura when I'm touching one of these.”

“It feels awful," Alisha said. “Like the mana is fighting me every step of the way.”

Daphne nodded in response.

“So, they block magic and enchantments," I said. “Do they block miracles?”

“No," Daphne said. “Well, I've never heard of it blocking miracles.”

Alisha shrugged and clutched the gem tighter before invoking her barrier miracle. It went off without a hitch.

I bit my lip. “Everyone but Alisha and Yume gets a necklace of this stuff once we reach the town. If they're half as good at fending off magic as they are at blocking it for the wearer then they'll be worth it.”

“It would make healing magic less effective, too," Daphne warned.

“All our healing comes from miracles and potions," I said. “Those shouldn't be affected.”

“Yeah, fair enough," she said.

**

Finally the three of them excused themselves, saying they had some things to discuss. They vanished into their tent and started talking, their sounds oddly muffled. They weren't using a cone of silence like the one I used for privacy but they were clearly using something that muffled their voices. Not that it helped keep anything private once they stopped talking and the tent started shaking.

It was rather freeing to be able to refer to Athena by her real name again and my women took it as an opportunity to ask her more about herself, as if the stuck-up goddess was an actual person. I found it somewhere between humorous and annoying but after she referred to Zeus and Hera as 'my father and his wife' a few times everyone there except for Anna and me became confused.

“Don't you mean your parents?" Selene asked. Anna, Athena and I looked at her. “Sorry, I'm not familiar with the stories of the Olympians.”

When nobody seemed willing to elaborate I said: “Athena doesn't have a mother. She appeared fully grown from Zeus' forehead one day. Apparently he just thought her into existence.”

Selene frowned. “You came into existence as an adult?”

Athena nodded. “Yes, and I'm glad for it. I am a goddess of wisdom so it's only fitting that I was never an ignorant child. And I'm even happier that my conception had nothing to do with any of these nasty organic processes you mortals engage in.”

“Nasty organic processes can be pretty fun though," Alisha said.

Athena gave her a look.

“Are you saying you're a virgin?" I teased.

“Fuck you, Tailor," she said, her cheeks reddening in anger. “I have no patience for that sort of nonsense. If my existence didn't require a physical body I would be perfectly happy to just be a being of thought.”

“That sounds lonely," Selene said.

Athena looked away, giving a pretty good impression of being embarrassed for anyone who didn't know that this being had no shame. “I will admit the fact that I was born of only my father means that I don't have too good a relationship with his wife.”

“Not calling her your father's wife would be a good start," I said. “I hated my mother's new husband at first but at least I've always called him by his name.”

“Fu—" she began but then trailed off. “Maybe you're right...”

I was about to tell her that yes, I was right, when someone inside the tent apparently jostled the magic item they'd been using to muffle sounds because we could suddenly hear things we really weren't supposed to.

I'll stay silent on the matter other than to say that Ulrich was a very, very lucky dwarf given what his women were willing to do for him.

It did rather ruin the discussion we were having and other than Yume, who stayed up for the first shift, we all went to our sleeping bags, though thanks to the noises outside it took a while longer before I managed to actually fall asleep.