‘Wow… They’re really going at it…’ Hayato was equally as impressed as confused watching the girls’ boob-thirsty duel taking place on the other side of the wooden wall.

‘Dat right herre is de reason to be alive.’ Yanus-sensei, who was looking through the hole, taking turns with Hayato, admired the sheer beauty of the scene.

‘I don’t know, sensei… It feels kinda weird. Are… are we the baddies here?’

‘Naaah, chill out, Princess. It’s not a crime if they don’t catch ya, haha.’ Yanus-sensei logic might've been flawed, but it was A logic nonetheless.

‘I hope Hero’s alright…’ Hayato looked at the lonely bucket drifting amongst the fog with concern.

‘Of course he’s arright! He gets to see everything from up close!’ Yanus-sensei replied, unaware of Hiro’s chivalrous restraint.

As the pure at heart Hayato and dirty, both inside and outside, Yanus-sensei were discussing the fate of Hiro The Unyielding, the sliding door to the male part of the hot springs opened once again. This time, three mysterious looking figures took a step inside the outdoor onsen. It wasn’t long until they noticed the unusual positioning of the already present Hayato and Yanus-sensei. Carefully, they made their way to the wall to investigate what was so interesting about a thin wooden screen.

‘What the fuck’s going on here?’

‘Hey, what’re you guys looking at?’

‘Fair maiden, greetings. What a coincidence for us to be meeting again this beautiful night.’ 

It was the three members of the infamous Harem Club. The Aggressive, The Matey, and Hayato’s partner during the Test of courage, the Virtuous, who in fact, turned out to be anything but actually virtuous. 

 

If you ask, how can the club exist with only three members, while Hiro needs a fourth person to create one… Well, let’s just say nobody wants to have anything to do with the Harem Club, and they just exist outside the law. Okay, now that we got the plot hole covered up, let’s continue.

 

‘Shhhh! Shut your faces! And stop calling me a ‘fair maiden’ for god sake!’ Hayato turned back to them and scolded them while whisper-shouting.

‘Princess’s rright, we don’t want the show to end, haha.’ Yanus-sensei agreed. 

‘...’ The three stood in place, confused. They quickly looked at each other and silently settled on a plan.

‘Move your ass!’

‘Sorry, sorry, comin’ through.’

‘Excuse us, but we too wish to lay our eyes upon the goods the other side has to offer.’ The Harem Club members using the power of their combined weight and friendship, by some miracle managed to push away the mountain of fat and body hair that Yanus-sensei was and annexed the peeping hole for themselves.

However, as their pupils were to approach the hole, something that they couldn’t quite identify hit the wooden wall from the other side with a gruesome impact and startled them.

‘Wh-what the fuck was that?!’ The Aggressive one shouted involuntarily.

‘...’ The other members of the club were too shocked to speak up.

‘... Move, out of the way!’ Hayato decided to take matters into his own hand and regain control over the strategic point, aka the hole between the planks. When he put his eye to it again though…

‘Having fun, aren’t we?’

‘...!’ He jumped away from the wall instantly, after hearing the ominous question coming from the other side.

‘Nice shot, Rin~’ In the background, an encouraging and ever so bubbly voice of Kanazaki-kaichou echoed.

‘Thank you. Though I was hoping the bucket would pierce a bigger hole in that wall.’ Hiyaoka, who was standing literally eye to eye with the guilty peepers, answered. ‘I would highly recommend you stop what you’re doing. Unless you want to get yourselves killed. Or worse. Expelled.’ Hiyaoka’s deep-pink iris that seemed devoid of emotion and life itself, was now taking up the entire surface of the peeping hole and stared at the group of five like they were lower forms of life. ‘Especially you, Yanus.’

‘...’ He gulped down his saliva in distress. The other four, in similar fashion, were too shocked to react in any way. Even Hayato somehow stifled his excitement after seeing Hiyaoka gorgeous eyes up close.

‘Good. And remember. I’m always watching you.’ With yet another sinister line, she returned to the ladies’ bath. None of the people in the mens’ section even thought of peeping through the hole ever again. They were all completely petrified by the Vice President’s threat.

‘So… maybe we’ll just hop into the bath…?’ Hayato spoke up to break the awkward silence that arose.

‘Yeaaaa, the party’s over, boys.’ Resigned Yanus-sensei agreed with his princess and entered the main onsen bath with a heavy splash.

‘The old man’s right, let’s go.’ The Aggressive one guided his companions.

‘Daaaamn, so close.’

‘Truly an unfortunate turn of events.’ The other two expressed their dissatisfaction as they approached the hot spring’s waters. Hayato, on the other hand, was left behind by the wooden screen. He looked down with a sullen expression.

‘Hero…’ The bucket his friend used to hide under was thrown at the wall moments ago. Meaning it was now only a matter of time for the girls to notice Hiro’s presence. Hayato was on the verge of tears only imagining what cruel fate awaits Hiro on the other side. ‘Forgive me!’ As he lamented over failing a mission he was assigned by his friend, the tickling/fondling-based fight on the other side of the onsen came to an end.

 

…

 

‘Nice shot, Rin~’ 

‘Thank you. Though I was hoping the bucket would pierce a bigger hole in that wall.’ 

The bucket I was hiding under until now, was snatched away from me. Hiyaoka upon realizing that there were a bunch of peepers on the other side of the wall, grabbed the bucket and tossed it against the wooden wall in anger, leaving me shelterless…

But I was a step ahead of her. Thanks to Mai’s genius tactics of triggering the boob-fondling fight between the girls, I found a window of opportunity to leave the bucket behind and relocate myself. The ruckus of their fight allowed me to make an escape out of the deeper part of the bath and to find cover behind a big rock in the shallow. And on the other side of that rock, there was…

‘Pssst, Saki. Hey.’

‘...Hm?’ 

‘Here, behind the rock.’

‘...huh? Hm… Hiro?!’

‘Shhh, please be quiet.’

‘Wh-wh- why are you here…?!’ Saki was completely bewildered. She had a hard time forming a sentence, let alone not shout at the top of her lungs. She instinctively tried to cover her bare breasts with her hands, but because she was used to her… previous size, there still was a considerable amount of space between her now crossed arms and actual body, which was honestly comically tragic. I did my best not to sneak a peek, but I couldn’t help myself and caught a tiny glimpse of the new Saki… Maybe flat really is justice. It was honestly adorable in a very weird way and I was somewhat ashamed of myself to admit that.

‘Saki, calm down, please! The others can’t find out I’m here.’ I was well aware that the fate of the Protagonist™ is to eventually be found and beaten up, but I had a side goal in my mind. In order to surpass the dull MCs, I’ve decided on making my great escape stealthily and cheating the system… And hope it won’t break the world. But that was a risk I was willing to take for my own corrupted satisfaction.

‘B-but what are you even doing here, this is a girls’ bath, you know?!’

‘I swear I can explain-’

‘Ara, Mikazuki-san, is everything alright?’

‘Crap.’ Kaichou must’ve heard us.

‘A-ah, y-yea, I’m fine, sorry!...’

‘Hmmm… Okay~ Since the boys have been taken care of, you can come closer, no need to be scared, Mikazuki-san~’ Kaichou was inviting her to join them closer to the center of the bath.

‘Y-yea, in a minute… I, I just… I’ll just sit here for one more minute…’ She couldn’t come up with any reasonable excuse, but I guess it was close enough, since Kaichou didn’t push her any further and instead commenced another attack on the poor Mai.

‘So, Gotou-san, tell us everything~’

‘H-huh? What do you mean?’ Judging by her voice, she was still mentally recovering from the shameful act she was the catalyst of.

‘Don’t play innocent~ What’s your relationship with Sekuhara-kun REALLY like, hm?’ A devilishly playful smile wasn’t vanishing from Kaichou’s face.

‘I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…’ I wasn’t sure whether Mai was genuinely embarrassed, annoyed or simply continued with our telepathically transmitted plan of distracting Kaichou and Hiyaoka so I’d get the chance to seek Saki’s help. Nevertheless, it seemed to have worked.

‘So? What’s going on here?’ Saki asked quietly without turning around so as to not raise a suspicion.

‘To put it shortly, it’s an anime cliche. The Protagonist™ ends up in the ladies’ onsen for some reason and needs to get out. It’s just another scene we have to recreate.’

‘Then why didn’t you warn me?!’ Saki was slowly moving behind the rock, so we could talk face to face, while Mai, Kaichou and Hiyaoka were still engaged in the girly talk.

‘You wouldn’t have agreed to this if I’d told you. Please forgive me.’

‘How do you know?! I mean if it’s for the story… If it’s for you… Then I wouldn’t mind…’

‘Saki… Sorry, I had no idea.’

‘But I still don’t get what’s the point of coming here only to hide and try to run away.’

‘Told you, that’s just how it goes.’

‘...’

‘...’ Silence took over, with the bubbly voice of Kaichou and the not-so-happy voice of Mai still audible in the background.

‘You saw them…?’

‘Hm, what do you mean?’ 

‘Y-You know what I mean!’ Saki blushed and averted her eyes. Only then have I realized how dense I just was. She was obviously referring to her modest breasts.

‘I-I just couldn’t help it! And besides, I didn’t look at the others’ ones!

‘R-really? Only mine…?’ She was weirdly surprised. Just how big of a pervert does she think I am? I mean, I am a pervert. But not to that extent. I think.

‘Yes, I felt too guilty to look at the other girls.’

‘Hiro…’ Even though she was still mad, I could tell by her vague smile that she was happy about me peeping only at her.

‘A-Anyway, I need you to somehow convince the others to leave early so I can-’

‘Mikazuki-san.’  Hiyaoka’s monotonous voice rang from behind Saki without a warning. 

‘Y-YES?!’Saki panicked, and since we were now talking face to face behind the rock, she instinctively shoved my face under water and held it there like an older sibling that wanted to scare their little brother in a cruel but playful manner… Which was actually yet another cliche to check out, that she was most likely unaware of. Nice one, Saki. 

‘You’re acting weird. What’s going on?’ 

‘A-aaa, yea, everything’s alright… I think?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Hiyaoka wasn’t giving in easily. Fortunately for us, Kaichou was a bit more sympathetic.

‘Ara, Mikazuki-san, are you not feeling well?’

‘... No no, everything’s fine…’ Only after a brief moment did Saki realize we’ve been given a chance. In a theatrical manner, she faked fainting and sliding down into the water while leaning against the rock. She made perfect use of the opportunity that presented itself. Sasuga.

‘Mikazuki-san! What’s wrong?’ Kaichou panicked, not realizing it was just an act.

‘Sorry, I spaced out a bit, haha.’

‘Don’t force yourself! Do you want to go back to our room?’ There’s the opening.

‘Y-yea… Could you maybe go with me? Actually, I’m not really feeling all that well…’

‘Of course! Gotou-san, could you please take Mikazuki-san back to the room?’

‘Huh, why me?’ Mai was still very much irritated by basically everything that has happened since they entered the onsen.

‘No!’ Saki shouted, which caught everyone by surprise. ‘I-I mean… I really feel… very weak and…’

‘Mikazuki-san!’ Saki's performance was honestly just too good. For a second I thought she actually just fainted and fell into the water again, but a quick, underwater ‘thumbs up’ from her calmed me down. It was all but an attempt at getting everyone to leave the hot springs with her.

‘Rin, come on! Help me get her out!’

‘Eh, okay.’ Even at a moment like this, Hiyaoka was her usual cynic self. She gave off a ‘fed-up with all this bullshit’ aura, almost as if she’s actually seen through my and Saki’s plan… Unless…

 

Unless she has indeed realized what was really going on. She could’ve realized what Saki was doing and that I was there too. From all we know, she might’ve also been a victim of the Truck-kun™ and trapped in this world. Maybe she also knows all about the cliches that have to be recreated in order to finish the story but has an attitude more similar to that of Mai… But then again, if that was the case, why wouldn’t she want to cooperate with us? Even our grumpy Main Girl™ understands (to some degree) that we need to push the story forward. Finishing the story seems like the only potential way out after all. Why isn’t she on our side? If we were to work together it’d all be much easier.

 

‘Thanks… Sorry about that…’ Saki said while she was being supported out of the water by Kaichou and reluctant Hiyaoka. In the meantime I managed to circle around the rock and grasp some air unnoticed.

‘No need to apologize, Mikazuki-san! Come on, let’s get you to bed. Gotou-san, you too.’ 

‘Yea, yea, comin’’ Mai must’ve eventually realized what it was all about. Though I’m pretty sure she knew all along it was just Saki covering up for me, but she really just couldn’t be bothered anymore.

All four of them eventually stood up and set off in the direction of the ryokan, leaving me behind, still hidden in the onsen. Could it really be the end? Did I actually manage not to get found by the girls in the Hot Springs Scene™? No. There must be something more to it. It was way too easy. I know I had an ally, or actually two if you count Mai, but still, something was off. It felt ‘rushed’. As if a part of the story was missin-

‘fffffFFFFFUUUUUUCK!’ With a thunderous roar and an even louder thump, I fell in the shallow after the least epic fail imaginable… I hit my toe against that goddamn rock. And we all know, there was no way for me to withstand the insufferable, sharp yet dull pain that spread quickly around my body. My thinking was completely cut off in that instant and my mind went blank. Only after a few seconds did I realize what I’d done. And that the ‘missing part of the scene’ I was forgetting about was in fact…

 

‘Well well well, who do we have here?’

 

…Me fucking up and having my cover blown in the end.

 

‘Ara ara, It’s Sekuhara-kun, isn’t it?~ I know boys are interested in female body, but hiding in the ladies’ bath is a big no no, Sekuhara-kun~’

‘As expected from Mr. Hentai.’ 

‘Mr. Hentai, hmm. Yup, that has a nice ring to it, Rin!’

‘Thank you, Yuuri.’

‘I CAN EXPLAIN I SWEAR, PLEASE. AND WHAT’S WITH THAT NICKNAME?!’ I lost my cool in the hot water and was now acting like a chicken that’s just had its head chopped off by a countryside granny. I was in too deep of a shock to move, lying down with my face glued to the floor right outside the bath, and my butt high up in the air. I scanned the surroundings quickly only to meet Saki’s gaze that seemed to be apologizing for not fulfilling the given task. And after that, I made eye contact with the remaining girl, who was grinning creepily.

‘Fufufu, Hiiiro-saaan~’ 

‘...!’

‘You didn’t think you’d get away with this, did you?~’ Mai entered some weird psychotic mode I’ve never seen before. Her face was gently smiling, but her eyes were filled to the brim with anger, satisfaction and lust for revenge.

‘What are you talking about, you knew I was here!’ 

‘Yea, so what?’

‘SO WHY ARE YOU APPROACHING ME WITH THIS CREEPY SMILE???’

‘Heee, a weeb like you should know that very well…’ I gulped my saliva in fear. ‘The last, obligatory part of the Hot Springs Scene™ is?’

‘Please no.’

‘What is it, Hiro-saaaan?~’

‘HAVE MERCY!!!!!’

 

…

 

Meanwhile, behind the thin wooden wall in the mens’ onsen, eerie silence took over. Everyone present, including Hayato, Yanus-sensei and the three members of the Harem Club were at a loss of words upon hearing what great tragedy was taking place on the other side. None of them had enough confidence, nor courage to raise their voice.

The only one to take any action was the eldest and the wisest of the group.

‘Yanus-sensei? Where are you going?’ Hayato asked softly with a trembling voice as the teacher stood up from the bath. The monstrous figure stopped in its tracks and slowly turned its head back in Hayato’s direction.

‘The most honorrable thing to do now, would be for us to leave. Now. All of us.’

‘Huh? I don’t understan-’ Hayato cut himself off when he noticed the Harem Club trio also standing up and heading back inside the ryokan with their heads hanging low and mouths shut.

‘A herrro ought to die a herrro. This is how we pay our rrregards to his deeds.’

‘... Got it.’ Hayato too, stood up proudly, after he finally understood the situation. The two of them, engulfed by sorrow, left the onsen before they’d witness unspeakable horrors of the other side with their innocent ears…

As they were walking through the changing area inside, Hayato froze in place suddenly. His gaze was empty. Devoid of life. Entirely blank. 

‘You arrright? What happened, princess?’

‘I felt a great disturbance in the force.’ He said dramatically. ‘As if a pair of buttcheeks cried out in terror and was suddenly clapped.’

‘...’ Yanus-sensei did not answer. But deep down, he knew what Hayato was talking about and what terrible occurrence had just taken place in the ladies’ bath.