Blinding light of the morning Sun stabbed my sleep-deprived pupils with no mercy as I took a step outside the ryokan. I covered my eyes with my hand reflectively and then took a big breath, full of fresh mountain air and relief. The School Trip Arc™ was coming to an end after what felt like forever. Our first real challenge after beginning the bizarre isekai adventure. It definitely wasn’t smooth sailing, but we somehow survived all the way to the end without any major setbacks. And most importantly, we got Mai to join the club. Somehow.

Both my mind and body felt deep exhaustion after the hellishly intense two days of anime-esque bullshit, packed with regurgitated cliches to the brim. Though I have to admit, I’m not in the worst shape of our group.

“Uuuuu… How come such cute little chocolates would make me feel this bad…”

“I wish I could get some more sleep…”

Hayato and Saki were doing their best not to collapse and/or throw up. The chocolate hangover is no laughing matter. Although on the inside, I’m laughing my ass off. In the distance I could also see Hideko-sensei, not looking much better than the two beat-up ‘high schoolers’ next to me.

“Well, at least I got to wear sooo many cute clothes, so it’s a-okay~”

“...” While Hayato was looking on the bright side of life, as he usually does, Saki instead of saying a thing smiled gently and her cheeks blushed a touch.

“Saki? You’re alright?” I asked, curious.

“Ah, yea, I’m fine… I just remembered I had a…really nice dream, hihi~” Oh no.

“W-what kind of dream?” I’m pretty sure I know the answer though.

“Well…” She walked up to me in a skipping motion. Before I realized I felt a sensation familiar to the one I felt tonight in the futon. “A very lewd one~” She whispered into my ear sensually. I couldn’t help but blush myself. After she backed off, she smiled innocently once again, like the angel she was. Although back in the room tonight she was definitely closer to being a demon.

“Heee, what was that, what was that?” Hayato cut in.

“Not telling you!” Saki answered playfully.

“Heeeeee, don’t do this to me, Saki-chan!”

“It’s a secret between me and Hiro. Right?~” She turned back to me and hugged my arm.

“Y-yeah…”

“Booo… Alright then, keep your secrets.” Hayato gave up at last. “Oooh, no good, I forgot I was feeling terrible…” He grabbed his stomach in an over exaggerated way.

“How do you forget about feeling terrible?”

“Hero and Saki-chan being around always makes me forget my worries~”

“...Why do you always have to be this cute?”

“Hero called me cute, yay! But you should be complimenting me in front of Saki-chan, you know?~”

“You’re not even a girl. Even though I sometimes wish you were.” That second sentence I intentionally said much quieter.

“DER YOU ARRR, MY PRINCESS!” A deep voice with a thick foreign accent suddenly spoke up from behind. Instant flashback of a similar situation from 2 days ago invaded my mind. And what’s up with the ‘princess’?

“EEEEK?!” Hayato squeaked in terror as this time it was him, upon whom a fat, hairy hand of our P.E. teacher was laid.

“Come on, let’s get’ya to de bus, we have to get goin’, ya know? Oh, and you! What was it… Mikazuki… damn, I forrgot again…” 

“Saki. It’s Mikazuki Saki.” The person in question herself tried to help the forgetful hobo disguised as a teacher.

“Naaah, dat’s not it…Ah yea, Sakurrra!” 

“...” Saki did her best not to show the will to murder the poor guy on the spot, but failed terribly.”

“You get goin’ too. Heard you didn’t sleep well, did’ya? That makes two of us, HAHAHA!” His massive hand patted Saki’s back heavily. A bit more strength would probably knock her fragile body over. “Let’s go ladies, we’ll get some sleep in da bus before we set off.” 

“Heeero! Help!” Hayato cried in terror as Yanus took the both by the backs and literally dragged along the gravely parking lot in front of the ryokan. Saki, on the other hand must’ve got convinced by the promise of some extra sleep. Or she was planning a revenge on Yanus-sensei for calling her by her full name.

“Yare yare.” I sighed. I have to give credit where it’s due though. In spite of the uncountable number of beer cans I saw in Yanus-sensei’s room yesterday, he’s suspiciously not-hungover. That’s a middle-aged European uncle-like mass of flesh for you.

“Poor bastards.” A familiar voice said. It was Mai, wrestling with her surprisingly big backpack.

“Oh, there you are. You also got magically teleported to your actual room in the morning?” 

“Yup, fortunately. We’d be screwed if someone found us like that.” Even though we fell asleep in the same room, it turned out the world ‘moved’ us to our default rooms. At this point, I’m willing to just accept this explanation.

“What about the pants?” I just enjoy teasing her a bit too much.

“Good question. I asked Saki to lend me a pair.”

“Wow, look at you socializing. I’m proud.”

“Fuck you.” With each consecutive conversation with her, it felt more and more natural and… friendly. Like how two guys who’ve known each other forever just casually insult each other, only to name their firstborn son after the other one. “I should’ve asked Kaichou instead… Saki’s ones are really tight.” She said while struggling to adjust them through her skirt.

“I didn’t need to know that, but thanks anyway.”

“Pff, perv.”

“No point in denying it anymore.”

“True.”

“Wanna do that tier list before we get on the bus?”

“Hell yeah!” She shouted enthusiastically with a somewhat mischievous look on her face. Like she was excited to insult my taste again. We sat on a nearby bench and opened the notepad app.

…

“How did it go, Yuuri?”

“As usual.”

“That bad?”

“Haha, well, they weren’t exactly happy about how things are going.”

“Bastards.”

“Rin! You can’t insult them like that!”

“I know, sorry… But they are bastards.”

The Student Council duo of Nagayama High School was discussing current matters in front of the ryokan while other students were caught up in packing their backpacks and slowly making their way to the bus that would take them home. Yuuri’s words might not have reflected it, but she wasn’t in the best mood after a certain meeting that had taken place the previous day.

“So, I see they did well enough?” Yuuri asked.

“Barely.”

“Great~”

“But he’s onto something.” Rin said about a certain somebody.

“Ow, is he now?”

“Unfortunately. I might’ve underestimated him.” 

“I told you to trust me~”

“If he’s really that good, it’s also not ideal. They might accuse us of cheating and we won’t make it.”

“True. For now, let’s back up a bit and reduce our interactions with them to the necessary minimum.”

“Agreed…” Rin made a dramatic pause and her expression, even though it seemed stiff at first glance, saddened. 

“Yuuri?”

“Hm?”

“...Can we really do it?” Rin asked after clenching her fist.

“Haaa…” Yuuri sighed. “We have no other choice, do we? Let’s do our best, my dear vice-president~” She said in a sweet, encouraging voice. Rin smiled in response.

“Let’s do our best, my dear president.”

As the two of them were now silently observing the students flowing outside of the ryokan at a steady pace, a scream of despair and sheer anger filled the fresh mountain air.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY ARE MY PANTS HANGING ON THE POLE ON THE ROOFTOP??????” Yuuri, Rin and most students present around looked in the direction of the ryokan's rooftop. And indeed, white and pink striped girl’s underwear was waving gracefully in the wind, like it was the flag of The Land of The Fallen.

“Rin? Would you care to explain how Gotou-san’s underwear got onto the rooftop pole?

“Who knows?”

“Rin!”

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“Mattaku…”

“Isn’t it funny when she’s angry like that though?”

“...I admit, it is quite amusing.”

“Exactly.”

…

 

 

Even though our bus ride from the ryokan back to school took much less time than it did on our way to the mountains two days ago, it was already dark when I came home. Hayato just wouldn’t shut up about how he doesn’t want the trip to end yet and that he wants to hang out together some more. We agreed, out of pity I guess. We decided to explore the town a bit, since we were at it, which might’ve been useful, but very tiring. After splitting up with the girls, I went to Hayato’s for a guitar lesson (seriously, fuck the C chord), fast forward a few hours and here I am now, in front of an innocent looking house in a typical Japanese suburbs with not-so-innocent name plate labeled as ‘Sekuhara’.

I walked up to the door and grabbed the doorknob. It wasn’t locked. Even though I’m absolutely sure I’d locked it. But honestly speaking, it didn’t even shock me. Not only was all this neatly hinted to me before, but even more importantly… There was still one more obligatory character in the shitty rom-com harems’ roster, that we were yet to meet. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for what’s waiting on the other side of that very door, and opened it.

 

“Onii-chan, okaeri! Would you like your dinner? Or your bath? Or maybe… Wa-ta-shi?~”

“You.”

“E-Eh…?”

“I would like 'you'.” I said with the straightest face ever.

“...heee…”

“ ‘heee’?”

“hee… HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?????”