Katsumi relegated himself to his room. His room was veiled in darkness even though it was only late afternoon. His blinds were shut and lights turned off. He lay on his back mindlessly scrolling some social media app.

For a second two female voices got really loud then quickly quieted down. Those two voices were the reason for him trapping himself in his room. The source of the voices was Nara and Shouko. The latter of which had come over after school to hangout with Nara.

Katsumi rolled over on his side and as he did the phone slipped out of his hand. His hand was still in the same holding position with nothing in it. 

A sigh escaped his mouth.

I’m almost at the point of doing extra studying…

His eyes brought the empty hand into focus.

What’s the point?

Thin walls didn’t help the noise from Nara and Shouko. The two girls weren’t doing anything wrong but they were being very loud.

Katsumi’s stomach rumbled. 

I don’t wanna cook… And there’s nothing in the apartment…

He rolled back over and was looking at the ceiling again. 

A minute passed.

And then another.

Five more passed.

The talking was almost soothing at one point. Consistent talking, a sort of reminder that there are people nearby. People he knew.

Katsumi sat up.

I’m gonna go out and eat something… Why not.

He took a moment to change into something that was presentable. Enough so that he didn’t look homeless.

Taking up the couch were Nara and Shouko. They’d spread out a bunch of beauty products across the small living room table and were chatting away. For a moment Katsumi tried to listen in just out of curiosity as he passed through but realized he couldn’t possibly care less.

He stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water before heading out when Shouko called out to him.

“Hey, Katsumi.”

“Huh?”

“Where’re you going’?”
“I think I’m gonna go get something to eat.”

“Oh, alright–” She paused in a way as if she had something more to say.

Nara nudged her.

“You know Tahashi-kun in my year right?” She kept talking, not giving him time to answer, “It’s like cool if he comes over, right?”
Katsumi’s honest feelings almost came out, how he’d rather everyone leave his apartment, “Yeah, sure, I don’t really care.”

“Seriously? Thanks,” Shouko responded, sounding surprised.

Katsumi waved to the two as he slipped on his shoes and stepped out the front door.

 

The air was humid, as if it was sticking to his skin and weighing down all around him. It was a familiar feeling, but one people don’t normally get used to.

Days were still getting longer, the sun still sat a fair distance above the horizon.

Do I just get something quick and cheap? 

He pulled out his phone and checked nearby restaurants on his map app. Hundreds of dots popped up when he searched.

That’s so many choices, how have I never known…? I mean, I do live downtown… In a big city, it should be obvious. But still, that’s so many.

The city is massive. There are so many alley-ways, turns, corridors, streets, all leading… somewhere. Katsumi wandered down the sidewalks with no destination in mind. The way he walked showed that, while to him, it seemed everyone around him had a purpose. A reason for why they were walking.

At an intersection, the corner building was a McDonalds. Not just any one though, it was two stories with a massive glass front that showed the entire interior.

It’s crazy… So many people fall for this marketing, because that’s what it is… They make their building, I’ll admit, look cool, but it’s still McDonalds. It would be the same if you ate at the worst looking one.
Katsumi gazed inside to scattered groups of people ranging from teenagers to the elderly.
I’m not stupid enough to fall for marketing like that.

The crosswalk light turned to a blue man and everyone at the corner began filing across the street. Katsumi remained still though.

 

“Can I get the six-piece, a small fry, and a sprite please?”
“Your total comes to seven hundred thirty-eight yen, thank you.”

Katsumi gave back something that vaguely resembled a smile to the cashier and took his food.

I might as well do the intended purpose of coming here…

He made his way to the staircase and found a seat near the glass railing at the edge of the second floor.

The view was a little interesting, an angle he didn’t normally see of a busy intersection.

Was this view worth the seven hundred yen? Probably not… Katsumi tried to think of a positive thing about this other than it being a little interesting. I had unlimited choices of the best local ‘hole-in-the-wall’ places and I chose a stupid two-story McDonalds… 

What are Nara and Shouko even doing with that Takeshi-kun guy? Was that his name…? No, it was Tahashi. That doesn’t matter…. What matters is what they’re doing. 

His mind flashed to images he wished it didn’t. Images he wanted to scrub away with the most powerful solvent he could get his hands on. He shivered a little.

I pray they’re just talking, or messing with him. But they were applying all that makeup… I might have to clean that couch as soon as possible.

What would I even use to clean it? Bleach? What? Wouldn’t that just bleach my couch? I mean it would be clean I think but that’s not what I want… Oh! I could just ask Arata-sa— He cut his own thoughts off.

But they persisted.

She would probably instantly have a detailed plan on how to clean it. Arata-san always seemed like she knew what she was doing. I don’t know if it’s a bad thing, but I sorta liked not having to think all the time… That she would give me the directions…

With this thought though, something came back to him. How he acted.

Why do I appreciate it now that it’s gone… Am I stupid? I whined about how much I hated her, whenever she told me what to do I’d be resentful.

Why am I reflecting on this over chicken nuggets?

He smiled.

A minute or so passed before he finally got back on his original thought process.

Maybe I could still ask her to help me… Or just give me advice… What did she do when we first cleaned my apartment.

He tried thinking back to what she told him then, or any of the techniques she used. But he couldn’t remember as different ones had taken their places.

She smelled nice then… Her hair looked soft, she looked so determined when she was helping me… But I feel like she lost that look the longer she was around me… 

It was almost like his brain was on auto-pilot at this point.

No.

What am I thinking? Why am I feeling this way about her now? I don’t want to feel this way so why am I? It’s awful, I don’t get it.

He put his head in his hands.

At this point in his meal he had eaten only a fry. He suddenly realized this, that he’d been sitting staring out onto the street for almost fifteen minutes. Katsumi thought people might be starting to stare at this point, that he was being a weirdo.

Everyone around him was engrossed in their own conversations, talking and smiling amongst themselves. 

He picked up his tray and with some regret threw away his entire dinner.

 

Katsumi stood outside the McDonalds, waiting at the crosswalk in a sea of people.

I shouldn’t go back to my apartment tonight… Katsumi sighed. Just think of it has helping a guy out.

He crossed the street with the crowd of people this time.

This made him smile and almost laugh.

That’s so fucking stupid.

Where am I supposed to sleep tonight? I could just find a nice park bench or something… 

Katsumi looked up at the street-sign at the corner of the street he was on. It was vaguely familiar, he’d been here before. 

 

Katsumi knocked on a door. He stood on a balcony somewhat similar to his but it wasn’t as nice. After a second of silence he heard muffled footsteps coming from the other side. 

The door swung open and he was met with a man in a wrinkled button-down shirt and slacks.

“Katsumi?”