Chapter 16: Friends from the Lands Under
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Announcement
With apologies to the entire nation of Australia.

Hyi turned to stare at Gragya, absolute shock and betrayal written across her face. She spent a moment stammering before managing to get out her statement. “Your cousin was just eaten. Devoured! In a single bite! And you insult her for it?”

The Gorcish woman shrugged. “It was her own dumb fault.”

“She is dead,” Fuan hissed. “And we are all soon to jo—”

“She’s not dead,” Gragya replied, rolling her eyes.

“Ah. It is shock. She can not yet process the truth,” Fuan said in a flat tone to Hyi.

“No. It swallowed her whole. So she’s fine,” Gragya replied. “Probably going to be annoyed, but I bet she’ll be out iinnnn—”

A new geyser of sand exploded not far from their boulder, though this sand was mixed with unspeakable bits of gooey looking matter.

And the small form of a Goblin sorceress, covered in deeply vile looking slimes. A small burst of fire redirected her arc through the air, so that she would fall onto the boulder. It would almost certainly hurt her seriously when she hit, though.

But, well, she was covered in really gross looking goop. So Gragya shoved Fuan over to break her fall instead of catching her herself. 

The Elf let out an outraged grunt at being pushed, a yelped of pain when Illyxa landed on him, and then noises of disgust as a good portion of the goo splattered onto him.

“You should do that again,” Gragya said, as Illyxa lay motionless on the back of the complaining Elf.

“That was severely unpleasant,” Illyxa muttered, before some of the gunk apparently flowed into her now open mouth and she spent a not insignificant stretch of time trying to spit it out.

“It worked, though,” Gragya said after giving her cousin some time to deal with the gunk, and  getting an angry glare from said cousin. “Nothing else we’ve done has discouraged them.”

“Bleh… fleh,” came Illyxa’s initial response, spitting out the last of the fluids. “You go out and get eaten by them, why don’t you?” 

“I’m too big for them to swallow whole,” Gragya replied. “They’d take chunks out of me, and it’s hard to punch your way out of something without any arms.”

“Eh, your head is hard enough you could probably break your way out with that,” Illyxa muttered.

“As much as I would like to reach a conclusion to this argument, could you get off of my back?” Fuan grumbled.

“I don’t know, you’re softer than the rock is… by a little bit,” Illyxa replied, but she stood up all the same. “Bonier, though.”

Fuan got up as well, trying to clean off some of the slimy-bits as he did so. It was somewhat of a doomed effort, however. He had nothing to wipe the gunk off on other than rocks, which were not shaped for efficient removal of goop.

The others stepped back, giving both Fuan and Illyxa lots of space.

“Well, we need to figure something out,” Pin said, eyes glancing towards the now shattered glass pathway.

“I am also curious about the magic miss Illyxa used,” Hyi said, looking in the same direction. “Having now seen that spell a few times, it does not seem like regular fire magic.”

“It’s Draconic,” Illyxa replied, perhaps a little too quickly. “Learned it off a Kobold. There might be some lightning magic mixed in.”

Hyi and Pin both nodded slowly. Fuan also raised an eyebrow, but said nothing further on that matter.

Not that he stayed entirely quiet. “I do support the Gorc’s proposal to feed Illyxa to the worms again. That has been our best strategy thus far.”

“I have a name,” Gragya muttered.

Illyxa snarled at Fuan. When he muttered something too quiet for the others to hear, it apparently got under her skin. So she pounced, biting his forearm. 

The cursed Elf flailed about, trying to dislodge her, though he failed. What he did manage to do was trip, tumbling over the side of the boulder. Illyxa fell with him, having let go too late. The pair thudded onto the loose sand a moment later with less grace than one might imagine.

Filled with dread, the rest of the party rushed forwards, ready to try to help.

Only for there to be no sign of any reaction from the worms. Everyone held their breath, rather confused. And worried that they might jinx the situation if they reacted to it. Yet, after several tense moments of waiting, there was no change.

“I… I think you scared them off,” Pin said, while the two fallen members of the party scrambled back onto the outcrop.

Just in case.

After a few more minutes with no signs of the worms, Illyxa hurried off to grab a loose rock. She then tossed said rock as far as she could out onto the sand. It didn’t go as far she’d have liked, but far enough it should have gotten attention from the worms. Yet there was nothing.

“Did… did I really spook them?” she half whispered, when there really was no response.

“I suppose they are just animals,” N’ratha said. “Kill a wolf and the pack will probably back off. Especially if it was killed by exploding after eating something.”

“Do we just start running, then?” Gragya asked.

“I’m not actually sure exactly which way to go, though. I couldn’t see the next outcrop,” Illyxa muttered.

“So, what? We just set off blind, then?” Fuan muttered.

“I’m trying to figure it out!” Illyxa hissed.

That received another sharp reply from Fuan, that in turn led to commentary from Pin. Which then led Fuan to begin complaining Fuan and N’ratha being there at all. He wanted to know why they were even in the group after they had ceased to be travelling towards the Draconic League. 

It all became an annoying mess of insults and counter jabs. If it had been an actual fight, Gragya probably would have been excited to follow it, but, instead, it was a battle of words.

She watched Hyi grow frazzled, attempt to diffuse things, and then give up and go sulk in a corner. N’ratha was mostly quiet, but was making sure to provide intimidating physical support for dealing with the others. Illyxa, however, would need no such support, and so Gragya felt safe in heading off to find somewhere to relax. 

With all the noise, she doubted she’d be able to fall asleep as easily as Hyi, but she could at least be somewhere quieter. Marginally. Since it was a pretty small outcrop. Plus, she would be able to serve as a lookout, to see if the des worms showed any signs of returning. There wasn’t much to see, though, so she began stargazing after a while.

After identifying a few constellations she knew, she couldn’t help wondering how those three were still arguing. Even if there were, somehow, still grievances to air, weren’t they going to get tired? Sleep was so much more enjoyable than arguments.

Just as she was about to turn around, to ask if they could call it a night, movement out on the dunes caught her attention. Doing her best to focus on the surprisingly bright night landscape (sand being good at reflecting and all that) she realised that it was a large flat thing. Like a small island. Or…

“Oh, that type of skate,” she muttered as it grew closer. Gragya then turned to the others. “Hey, uh, guys… I think we have company?”

“The worms are back?” Pin asked, jumping.

“Or the dragons?” Fuan added, moving into a combat stance.

“No. No. I think they should be friendly. They’ve got an orcish banner,” she said, pointing to the great sand skimming creature approaching, a number of large figures sitting on its back.

“Orcs!?” Fuan said. “Out in these wilds? Why would you think they’re frien—”

Gragya watched as he slowly realised who he was talking to. Or, more specifically, the heritage of who he was talking to. While he did that, Illyxa ran over to a higher part of the outcrop and let off a welcoming flare spell.

The skate sped up at the sign, soon pulling up alongside the outcrop. The creature was easily at least half the size of the outcrop. There would likely be room for the six of them even if the three Orcs stayed aboard.

“Oh. A dessert ray,” Pin said quietly.

“They’re skates, not rays,” Illyxa replied.

“Crikey!” the piloting Orc shouted out. “How’d you all get out here without a ride?”

“It wasn’t easy, eh!” Illyxa shouted back.

“Determined sheilas, not aren’t ya?” one of the other Orcs declared, while strolling down the wing/fin of the ray towards them.

“We’ve got two blokes with us, mate,” Gragya replied, finding herself slipping into the Orcish dialect of Common.

It was simply so much more fun, not to mention the one she had more familiarity with. Goblin communities in the old homelands rarely used Common out of a push for cultural identity, so she’d barely known it before moving to the Orz after the—well, when Illyxa moved to her academy and had brought a young Gragya with her. 

“Ah, an Elven gentleman,” the Orc said with sarcastic politeness, stepping out onto the rock with a second crew member following him.

“And the ankle biter,” Gragya said, indicating Pin.

The Orcs nodded. “Ah, apologies to ya, my gender-non-conforming mate.”

“Apology accepted,” Pin replied with a small nod.

“Now, not that we’re upset to see you lot,” Illyxa said, slipping in the slightest bit of slangy Orcish candor, despite her accent being distinctly Goblin (she’d been one of the educated folks in the village and had actually known Common before the adventurers… before they’d moved), “but I am curious what you’re doing out here without any real goods on your skate.”

“We’re to be guides for any mugs who might get lost after the dragons trashed the next station rock,” the second Orc said, the pilot helping him to carry some supplies onto the outcrop.

Supplies that looked to include nearly as much beer as water.

“I was right,” Gragya said, turning to Illyxa with a smile.

“I didn’t doubt you,” Illyxa muttered.

“Well, I reckon, with all the junk unloaded, we can probably carry you lot back in one go,” the pilot said.

“To an Orcish village?” Fuan asked, failing to not sound disappointed.

"Oi, I'll have you know it's a town, not a village, mate."

“Sounds good to me,” Gragya said. “Let’s quit yabbering and get going.”

-

They weren’t able to leave immediately, however. N’ratha and Gragya were drafted into helping set up a tent for the two guides who would be staying on the rock. The plan was for them to wait for any other travellers to arrive, with the occasional crew changes. It wouldn’t be good for the local economy if caravans got lost in dunes.

That all only took about as long as waking Hyi and successfully convincing her it was safe to ride the sand skate, however. So it really wasn’t any time wasted.

The actual ride back passed quickly, however. Mostly because the party soon passed out and slept through it. They were awoken by a few prods from the pilot, which managed to get the drowsy adventurers back to the land of the awake. 

A number of orcs were gathered around the sand dock, a number of wooden piers stretching out from a truly massive rocky outcrop ringed by tall walls. The sun was low on the eastern horizon, showing the trip had been longer than Illyxa had expected.

“C’mon. Rise and shine. You’ve got papers to fill out, mates,” the pilot said.

“Papers?” Gragya said, stretching before clambering onto the dock.

“Well, not you, love, nor the little Gobbo miss,” an Orcish woman said. “But the tree-talkers and mouse definitely do.”

Hyi stared up at the woman, looking back and forth between her and Gragya. “She’s so big.”

“She’s an Orc,” Gragya said with a shrug. “I’m just a Gorc.”

“Tall for a Gorc, since our family are tall Goblins,” Illyxa said, climbing up onto the pier herself. “But, obviously smaller than a full Orc, y’know?”

Hyi nodded slowly, but still seemed quite mystified by the idea of a woman who was a good head taller than Gragya and substantially beefier. It made Gragya feel somewhat inadequate. At least until she realised Hyi’s wonder was simply at a marvel of nature, rather than an awakening of any sort.

The woman led the party in through large but plainly decorated gates. Upon entering through the unassuming passage, they found themselves thrust into a large and thriving urban community. The streets were splashed with colourful clothes providing shelter from the sun, throngs of merchants bringing a flood of smells and sights. The crowds were also an impressive array of peoples. Notably types that both Illyxa and Gragya had missed. Throngs of Goblins danced around the long legs of Orcs, Trolls, Ogres, and even great horned Oni and Rakshasas. Catfolks of a dozen stripes hurried between the crowds, sticking out for their fluffy ears as much as their lack of tusks. There was at least one Merfolk merchant travelling past in a litter carried by Orcish servants. 

Illyxa was a little peeved by the number of Nagas on the streets, but, with this many Goblins around they must have been trained not to try to eat small folks.

“I don’t think I see a single Human, let alone an Elf,” Fuan muttered, pausing only as long as he dared before hurrying to not be lost in the crowd. (Not that he had too much to worry about, even the pickpockets were avoiding him due to the smell of the worm-bits still stuck to him.)

“Eh, there’s probably a few Humans around. Those keeners find their way everywhere,” Illyxa muttered, not really thrilled about the idea. But what was one to do?

Finally, after several winding blocks of bustling streets, they arrived at the immigrations office. As Alliance citizens, Fuan, Hyi, and Pin had a number of forms to fill out regarding their stay, watched over by a larger number of mostly goblin civil servants. (Goblins were always overrepresented in Orcish civil service. Lacking the muscles of Orcs or other, even larger citizens, they made sure to work on their bookkeeping skills to fulfill their compulsory services.) Still, it was the lone Ogre in the office that kept the three folks of the Divine Races sweating as they made sure their forms were perfect.

N’ratha had a single paper to fill out, with minimal questions. She still had her Mezora citizenship documents, after all.

“Mhm,” the Ogre said, looking over Hyi’s forms. “It’s all sorted now, darl. Enjoy yer stay.”

Hyi gave a small nod and a squeek, before hurrying off to seek shelter behind Gragya. The party then set out onto the street, hunting for an inn.

At least until Gragya spotted something more pressingly useful.

“An Orcish bath!” she said, her smile spreading from ear to ear. “Just what a girl needs after bein’ stonkered out in the Wastes!”

“Ooh. Count me stoked for a proper scrub,” Illyxa added, also smiling.

“A soak does sound pleasant,” Hyi said.

Both cousins turned to her with menacingly mischievous grins that shot a shiver up her spine. Before she could react, though, Pin spoke up, interrupting.

“Is it, um… is it shared and public?”

“Yeah?” Gragya said.

“I… I can’t go, then,” Pin mumbled.

“You can drag Fuan over to the blo—mens’ side?” Gragya replied carefully, having realised how lost Orcish slang was making the others. Even Illyxa had been finding some of what she said hard to follow.

“That won’t work either,” N’ratha said in a quiet voice.

“If you worry someone will give you trouble over your clothes… they won’t,” Illyxa said. “And, if they do, I’ll torch ‘em.”

“It’s not the clothes,” Pin mumbled, looking around to make sure the side street they were on was fairly empty. All the same, he dropped his voice quiet enough that it didn’t rise up to reach the ears of the taller folks. “It’s my body…”

“Eh? Your… you’re…”

He gave a small nod.

Illyxa blinked. “Is that why your clothes are all… should we be getting you new stuff?”

It was Pin’s turn to blink. “No? I like my clothing.”

“Even though it’s all… frilly? And skirts?” Illyxa asked.

“I haven’t seen you or your cousin wear a single skirt since we’ve met,” Pin countered.

“I kick people,” Gragya said, thinking she knew what the conversation was about, even though Hyi and Fuan were both obviously confused. “Skirts and kicking don’t really mix.”

“Alright, but what about you?” Pin said, looking at Illyxa.

“I… I grew up with pants and now skirts don’t feel like proper clothing,” the Goblin sorceress muttered, blushing slightly. Other girls with histories like her seemed to love them, which always made her a little self conscious. “… Alright. I get it. I can be a girl despite my birth bits and not like skirts. You can be a guy despite yours and like skirts.”

Pin replied with a confident nod.

“Why haven’t you gotten a potion yet, though? They don’t taste that bad,” Illyxa muttered.

“The ingredients are a bit pricey, so the potions are expensive,” Pin replied.

“Oh. Right. I DIYed mine,” Illyxa replied, scratching the back of her head awkwardly.

“They have gender neutral rooms in an Orcish bath, though. Don’t worry,” Gragya said, offering Pin a smile.

“They do?” he asked.

“Orcish culture is chill about trans folks,” Illyxa replied. “Glorz’s official position is that gender is complicated and he’s sorry about getting things wrong sometimes for his children.”

The Halflet’s eyes sparkled with something vaguely envious. He was then happy to agree to head into the bath. The group paid their admission fees and then Fuan and Pin both seperated from the main group a moment later. The four women went into their change room and began to undress, thrilled to find out there was also a laundering service on site to clean their clothing.

“I guess his interesting relationship with gender helped him sneak onto your radar?” Gragya said to N’ratha.

“Indeed. I didn’t quite figure it out at first, but, after a few dates I realised he was not like the women I’d dated… but that I was still attracted,” the Half Dragon replied before they stepped into the first room of the baths.

Hyi, who had been lost in the conversation of gender and sexuality, now found a new way to be confused.

“Um… where is the bath?” she asked, interrupting the conversation as she looked around the stone chamber.

“Oh, that’s after the scrape down,” Illyxa said.

“What scrape…” Hyi began to ask, when four Orcish women came walking towards them, various implements of scraping and scrubbing in buckets in one hand.

It was then that Hyi realised what she’d signed up for.

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