Spending time with his mother was nice but it was also one more thing for Luca to keep track of like navigating letters from the resistance fighters he once knew and also watching the news about Haochen and Wei like a hawk.
Haochen seems to have attempted to make amends judging by the huge step forward the Confederacy has taken by actually sending creature specialists to examine the living conditions of the other reform centres. Haochen wouldn’t have bothered making amends if he wasn’t committed, so that’s a good sign.
Unfortunately, this perfect opportunity made Christos step up and contact Vinaya, who has enough influence and sheer force as head of her massive trading company to actually push the investigation to keep going. It’s not a bad thing she’s helping, Luca just wishes he was competent enough that he didn’t have to involve anyone in the danger.
It is dangerous of course because the financial backer of the centres has gone deathly quiet but High Mage Niaa is only waiting. Not hiding, not forcing people to back down, just waiting.
So because he’s so busy, Luca notices a bit too late.
Luca isn't sure if they had an argument, but Nicholas doesn't even look at Rafael or Stavros anymore and he's hanging out with Mariana and her friends instead when Luca is with the other two. It somewhat makes sense because now Nicholas and Mariana are dating but the avoidance is very pointed.
Luca asks Rafael and Stavros what happened and neither can quite look him in the eye.
"I think Nicky just needs some time," Rafael offers.
"Did you guys fight?" Luca asks. "What was it about…if you don't mind me asking."
Stavros shrugs vaguely. "Just…stuff."
Luca can clearly tell they don't want to talk about it. "Oh, okay. If you need me to mediate, I'm up for it."
"We'll probably wait until Nicholas calms down first, before we try to talk," Rafael muses.
Luca pauses. "Just, you know, it's better to make up than stay angry and let it drag out. There's…less time than you think."
Stavros lets out a breath like Luca sucker punched him in the kidney and Rafael winces at that reminder of Nicholas’ looming death.
"I mean-" Stavros begins. "Yeah, yeah. You're right."
Nicholas isn’t feeling the best. At first he was angry, outraged, and then wronged. And then just upset. And now he’s sad.
Part of him wants to go to his son but he doesn’t want to bother Luca, and if he’s the dad then he needs to be cool, right? He thinks about telling Mariana what happened but dismisses that thought quickly because she's a fixer, in constant movement, and he’s feeling too soft for that.
Really squishy, actually, and he thinks he just wants a hug and someone to hold his hand. Flick would make him feel safe but she won't hold him. Phaedra would but she's always surrounded by people and while Nicholas normally doesn't mind, he's feeling quiet today. Maybe he doesn't want people looking at him.
The argument was dumb and Nicholas doesn’t even know what the point was.
It’s generally day two after an argument where he gets distracted by something else and runs back to his friends and they all go on an adventure doing whatever it is Nicholas got interested in. He forgives quickly. He’s not good with holding onto negative emotion, and even less patient with being bored – especially if it’s lonely by himself.
But that argument reminded Nicholas of back in year seven.
Because the excitement of living in dorms and meeting new people and the classes, that all wore off and he got homesick. Nicholas is not an island, he needs people, he needs to be cared for, to care for someone else. He learned a lot about himself in those first few weeks because before, his parents were constantly affectionate and around all the time basically, so abruptly going without ended badly.
Nicholas made friends with his other year mates, and it was great, Nicholas has a personality that’s exciting and funny and charming. He clicks with everyone as long as he’s making an effort.
Until he wants to talk until three in the morning for the third night in a row. Until he wants to cuddle in public. Until he keeps distracting other students in class because they haven’t looked at him in five minutes. Until he wants to sleep in bed with someone and swap clothes and why aren’t you paying attention to me?
Nicholas latched onto the first one to give him undivided attention and that was Adam, who was also easy going and second-generation heritage so he somewhat understood the magical jokes and the culture and they were fast friends.
Nicholas is too much, too demanding, for one person and Adam tried but he started to awkwardly pull away with the full force of Nicholas’ personality baring down on him.
A month in, the year seven boys dorms got swapped around because a boy called Stavros in another room got into a fight and they had to be separated. Stavros got swapped into Nicholas’ dorm and Stavros…has never been a good person.
Especially not when he was finally free of his family’s control and wild from the rush of it, and even as young as he was, he knew cruelty and how to wield it. He liked the power, liked the excitement when people fought back, enjoyed it even better when they didn’t. He took one look at Nicholas and scented blood in the water.
Rafael was also in the dorm but no one much remembered him, not when he’d hide away in the corner of every room he stepped into, trying to not call attention to himself for fear that people would know he was barely human and they’d kill him just for being born with the disease.
Rafael saw though, he admitted to Nicholas one day, years after it happened. He saw what was going on and was too scared to say anything. Stavros was a beautiful boy with a hurricane under his skin and while he’s now learned to supress it, direct it, he was uncontrollable as a child.
They were kids and that was awful enough, not that anything really happened. It was just words, Stavros was always so gentle; Nicholas had already convinced himself years ago it wasn’t so bad. But if they were older when it happened, Nicholas probably wouldn’t have made it out the other side with everything still intact.
Adam was the one who accidentally stopped it, or at least he came back after realising no one else could make him laugh like Nicholas could, no one was as fun or exciting like Nicholas was, so that offered another source of attention for Nicholas and Stavros was left behind.
Then it was Stavros struggling to get the kind of unconditional devotion Nicholas had been giving him for weeks by that point. They made a good pair really and they did have fun together; both so head-first, all or nothing, natural disasters packed into the bodies of children. Stavros didn’t apologise or even acknowledge it, just started being nicer, got things for Nicholas, they did homework together. Adam had breathed a sigh of relief because Nicholas was more manageable too with another person as his focus.
Rafael watched them for several more months but Nicholas dragged him out of his self-imposed isolation through sheer determination after accidentally finding him during a full moon. Ever since then they’ve been a tight-knit group, working incredibly well, balancing out each other’s extremes and they all know they’d have burned themselves out if they were alone.
They’ve been through a lot together over the years, merging into one entity really, and Nicholas trusts Stavros and Rafael, he loves them with everything he has and knows they feel the same. It’s all or nothing now, forever. You can’t remove a limb and forget you ever had it.
But these past few days, he just keeps remembering crying himself to sleep at night in Stavros’ arms, as the boy with the face of an angel whispered sweetly about how Nicholas’ parents had already forgotten him, about how it was difficult to love someone like Nicholas, about how Stavros was trying so hard but Nicholas was so tiring and so he should be thankful Stavros was putting up with him. And Rafael just watched.
Nicholas doesn’t mean to bring up old wounds, picking at it until it bleeds. He just really misses Adam…because he was never as intense as Stavros or Rafael, never so effortless to get lost in. Adam was so much easier to deal with, easier to separate from who Nicholas is. They were good friends but not part of each other.
Maybe, like before, he needs to take a break from his friends for a while. Nicholas is never going to leave them, he can’t, but he has a safety net in Luca.
Maybe just a break.
