While it may have happened long ago, I still remember it as clearly as if it was yesterday.

I had merely been speaking my idle musings aloud, without any consideration to the fact that they all hung onto my every word.

And he did so more than anyone else.

My every suggestion was the best one that he had ever heard of, every question I asked with the simple intention of chipping away at my ignorance was regarded with the same import as the musings of a great philosopher.

So of course it went without saying that the combination of his over-reverence of me and his desire to get stronger led him to practically leap at the opportunity to see if my idea would work.

...to be more accurate, to him there was no "if." He was as sure that I was correct as he was in the sun rising the next morning.

And so, I indulged in my curiosity and overfilled his soul by two-hundredths of its natural maximum capacity.

He did speak of some discomfort immediately afterwards... but what I saw from him was nowhere near what I am seeing right now.

Because it has been nearly half an hour that my Brigitte has been pacing circles around this room, and she still looks every bit as miserable as when she first started.

Of course the last thing I want is for her to suffer, but the only immediate way I can think of to relieve her discomfort is to take back what I gave her... which would then render this entire exercise pointless.

it would also run counter to my own desires

as ever, I am ruled by my own selfishness

The only difference in their situations that I can think of is that while he was already a Contractor at the time, she is a pure, untouched human...

...wait, is that it?

The strengthened vessel of a Contractor made the strain more bearable for him?

And because hers is weaker, she finds it far more burdensome than he did?

Yes, that makes perfect sense. And extrapolating from there, she will likely take longer to grow accustomed to doing this every single day... so I should wait longer before increasing the ratio past this initial two-hundredths...

...two days? Three?

No, it is still to early to decide.

It will all depend on how she handles this first day's worth, and then we can go from there.

Patience.

I will be patient.

A mere handful of decades is nothing to one who has lived for millennia.

even if nearly half that time was spent slowly dying

No.

No no no no no no no DO NOT DWELL ON IT I AM NO LONGER INSIDE THAT HELL

......

Gritting my teeth, I clutch my temples.

Now is not the time to dwell on my own meaningless issues borne from mental weakness. Not when my savior is currently suffering actual pain as a direct result of my actions.

"Bleeeeeh..."

Brigitte abruptly ceases her pacing.

Her soul also seems to have at least partially stabilized, but not to the point of fully digesting all the magical energy that I forced into it...

...has she judged that it is too much to bear?

Is she finally going to cast me out for subjecting her to such pain?

"...been pacin' around practically topless this whole fuckin' time..."

Er-

And then she stomps over to the chair where she had thrown her clothing, grabs her shirt and slides it over her head.

...I admit to feeling some disappointment at this.

Because while its current malnourished state (which I shall endeavor to rectify) has rendered it more akin to an unfinished sculpture than a completed one, Brigitte's frame very much appeals to my own sense of aesthetics.

All her limbs are a pleasing length that complements the the rest of her body, her midsection is neither too long nor too short, her chest is just large enough to be noticeable without reaching that unappealing exaggeration that most humans seem to prefer...

and also so very comfortable to rest my head upon

...and then she goes and covers it all with a outer robe that completely obscures her entire body aside from her face.

A lovely face it may be, but still.

Beauty is meant to be seen.

"...hm?"

She is approaching the door? She finally feels well enough to head out?

But she does not-

"Brigitte?" I call out to her.

Right as her hand makes contact with the doorknob, she sends a listless glance my way.

"Mm?"

"...you are forgetting your staff."

She must really be out of sorts to try and leave without that, of all things.

"Didn't forget it," Brigitte half-mumbles, "not using it today."

Eh?

"...what exactly were you intending on doing today, if I might ask?"

Because for the scant few days I have known her, she has never failed to carry it with her wherever she goes.

"Checking in at the Guild first," she replies.

"Ah," I nod, "to collect the remainder of your pay."

That makes sense.

"Yeah, and then it's on to the library."

"Library?"

"You know, the whole reason we're in Hovora to begin with? To hopefully dig up some more information on where I found you?"

"........."

How could I have forgotten that she is doing all of this for MY sake?

I am such an ingrate...

"Anyways, let's get out of here," Brigitte sighs. "Hopefully the outside air'll do me some good."

"Ah- yes..."

She beckons for me to come along, and of course I oblige.

While trying my best not to allow the shame I feel to manifest on my face.

I follow her out the room, through a hallway, down a flight of stairs, and so on...

"Ah- good morning!"

...and just as we are about to pass through the ground floor of this inn and out the door, a voice calls out to her.

One belonging to the same girl at the front counter as when we arrived here yesterday, with the same curly blonde hair and large bosom and flushed cheeks and nervous smile.

"Oh, hey," Brigitte offers a listless response.

"Off to the library for some more research today?" the girl asks. "I see that you don't have your staff on you, so..."

"Got some errands to do first, but that was the plan," she replies.

"Ehehe, so I was half-right!"

The girl clasps her hands together.

"Umm, do you know how long you'll be at the library for? I'm only on the morning shift today, and..."

"Dunno," Brigitte shrugs. "Got a lot to search through, so it might be all day."

"...oh."

Obvious disappointment.

"Well, umm... I hope you see another big success!"

"You too."

And with a final parting wave, Brigitte once again starts for the door.

I offer no such gesture myself, though I do admit to deriving a certain amount of amusement from the inn girl's pouting expression as we leave.

"......huh."

Not too long into our walk to the guild office thing, Brigitte makes an abrupt stop.

She then slaps the area by her collarbone a couple of times and takes some deep breaths.

"Didn't expect the shitty feeling to just suddenly disappear like that," she mumbles to herself before turning to me. "So I guess I'm good now?"

"Er-"

I...

...she is not angry with me?

"Y- yes, your soul has fully digested what I gave you," I stammer.

"Cool," she nods. "Now I don't gotta worry about not being able to use magic if someone starts shit at the Guild office."

Relief.

A wave of relief washes over me.

For there is not the slightest inkling of anger in her voice, nor in her expression.

Which means that Brigitte does not hate me for the pain I caused her.

why am I always so damned selfish

only ever thinking about myself

"...alright, we're here."

"Eh?"

Sure enough, we are now stopped in front of a building with the same signage as in the previous town.

Which means that we resumed walking and I was so engrossed in my own selfish inner thoughts that I did not even consciously realize it.

Foolish.

Carelessness was my undoing, yet I still have not learned my lesson.

"Haaa..."

Completely oblivious to the my inner storm of self-reproach, Brigitte heaves a long sigh, takes a deep breath and shifts her face into the neutral expression that she uses when interacting with everyone other than me.

She then pushes the door open and motions for me to follow her inside the building.

I am somewhat surprised to find that this place has nearly the exact same inner layout as the guild office place in the town we were at before, with the only differences seemingly having been necessitated by the shape of the building rather than voluntary choice.

But unlike that first one, there are no crowds or lines to speak of, with only a couple of men and women loitering in scattered groups far away from the front counter.

And so, I follow her right up to the desk.

Just like back at the inn, the counter here is helmed by a woman. With short, straight black hair which frames sharp features, she is reasonably pretty, though I would admit that the girl at the inn is moreso.  But with that said, she possesses a considerably larger bosom than the inn girl's, so I suppose the humans here may rate her higher instead?

I will never understand such things...

"How can I help you?" the clerk asks in a rather cold tone.

"I'm reporting in for an escort job for a caravan that came in yesterday," Brigitte replies. "Name's Brigitte Martine Fehrenshildt."

"Cara-"

The clerk's eyes widen with surprise.

"So you're the one they were talking about!" she exclaims. "The Conductor of Shadows!"

"...what."

MaouZenigame

Hit a bit of a snag while writing, but then I realized that I have a whole other character who I can switch perspectives to whenever I want and things started to go way more smoothly.