The Running Hawk Kites run towards Darkness, she has a smile and a blush on her face. "Oh, boy! Here they come, here they come!" Darkness yells in excitement. "K-Kazuma, this time... this time I'm surely done for! Oh, they're gonna ram me!"

As the Running Hawk Kites reach Darkness they jump over here, barely missing her. Then they run past the caravan.

"Kazuma!" Darkness calls back. "Do you suppose this counts as a type of teasing? This sensation of almost being struck is quite something! Unbelievable. Males in heat are leaping over me, one after another! This is nearly as good as when Smaug ties me up and--!"

"Stop it!" Kazuma yells out. "There are people watching! Don't say another word!"

.

.

"Blessing." Aqua casts the spell onto Darkness.

Running Hawk Kites continue to jump over Darkness. "Oh, don't bother with me!" She moans as more Hawks jump over her.

"We shouldn't need to worry about Darkness now." Kazuma says. 

Aqua winks. "All thanks to my Blessing!"

"Yeah, yeah. When we're done here, you can have my seat."

Aqua pumps her fist. "Yes!"

The other adventurers start to cast spells onto the Running Hawk Kites. Tacking a few of them out. some of them crash into the adventures, because a spell knocks them off course. The Running Hawk Kites that have passed making their way around again and head back towards Darkness.

"They're still coming?!" Kazuma shouts.

Darkness stands up. "Yosh!"

Kazuma deadpans and then he gets an idea. Kazuma runs towards his carriage, which still has a mute bubble around it. "Pops, are there any cliffs around here?!" Kazuma asks the driver.

"Nothing of the sort!" The driver responds. "Closest thing is a cave we use for shelter from the heat!"

"A cave? That works! Take us there!" Kazuma then runs towards Darkness. "Megumin, Aqua! Get in the wagon!" 

Aqua and Megumin move to the wagon and Aqua pops the bubble, and then the sounds of clothes rustling is heard.

Aqua opens the back door to see Smaug fixing her pants and Wiz has a large blush, but a satisfied look. Smaug looks to Aqua. "Fill me in, nya."

Aqua gives Smaug a slight look of disgust as she and Megumin get in the wagon.

Kazuma picks up Darkness. "Come on, Darkness--" He grunts as he tries to lift Darkness over his shoulder.

"So heavy..." Kazuma grunts. "Can't lift..."

"Don't say I'm heavy!" Darkness says. "You have to specify that my armor is too heavy!" She then starts to blush. "Just tie me to the wagon with a rope and drag me along." Kazuma deadpans. "It's an emergency! No way around it! Don't hold back! You have no choice!"

The carriage pulls up next to the two.

"Sir, you'd better hurry!" The driver says as the Running Hawk Kites get closer. "We can't wait much longer!"

Kazuma grabs some spare rope and ties it to the carriage, then goes over to Darkness and ties it onto her binds. "Let me know if it's too much, Darkness!" He then stands up and runs back towards the carriage. "We'll let you loose!"

Darkness sighs in satisfaction. "Being tied to a cart and dragged by horses... Not only that, but while in that state, I'll be chased by a bunch of lus--" She gets dragged along as the carriage moves.

"Hold on Darkness, sweety!" Smaug calls out. "We'll deal with these things soon and you'll be alright."

"I'm great!" Darkness yells out with a blush as she bounces on the ground.

Smaug sweats a little. "I kinda forgot about that."

Darkness moans. "Smaug! This is good! So good!"

"This is getting weirder than usual!"

"It's a new discovery, being treated as luggage like this!"

The party watches as Darkness gets dragged along as the Running Hawk Kites chase after them.

"I knew you were a brute, Kazuma, but this might be going too far..." Aqua states.

The party looks at Kazuma. "I-It wasn't my idea! It was Darkness!" Kazuma shouts as he sweats.

"Sir, they're gonna catch us at this rate!" The Driver yells.

Kazuma pokes his head out a window and looks back. "Crap! Pops, how far to the cave?"

"Need more time!" The driver responds.

"We're done for!" Kazuma and the Driver yell together.

Wiz moves to the door and holds her hand out. "Bottomless Swamp!"

A large blackish purple swamp appears in front of the Running Hawk Kites and some of them get trapped. The rest split into two groups and keep running towards the carriage. 

Kazuma gives Wiz a thumbs up. "Thanks, Wiz!" She gives him a thumbs up.

Kazuma looks back out the window and sees the two groups and he gets an idea. "Smaug!" He looks at her. "I need you to move to the door."

Smaug raises an eyebrow as she changes into her dragon form and her tail mimics a question mark. "Sure." Smaug moves to the open door and looks out to the two groups.. "What do you want m-" She's kicked out of the carriage. "Eh?"

"What the heck!" Aqua and Megumin yell.

"Um... Kazuma, why did you do that?" Wiz asks.

"Watch this." Kazuma says as he looks out the door.

Smaug face plants the ground as her tail panics. She props her self up and looks at a group of Running Hawk Kite coming towards her. "Kazuma! You son of a b-"

"I heard they taste like turkey!" Kazuma yells at Smaug.

Smaug's eyes gain a dangerous and hungry glints as she licks her lips. Smaug stands up and lunges towards the group of Running Hawk Kites. "Dinner time!"

A large cloud of dust gets kicked up as Smaug reaches the group, many feathers get thrown out as many different noises are heard within the cloud.

Darkness yells out as she gets dragged along.

"For a noble to be in such a disheveled state..." Darkness blushes and laughs. "No! Stop it! Don't look, Kazuma! Don't look at the seedy sight of me being treated so roughly!"

Aqua casts heal on Darkness repeatedly. "Heal! Heal! Heal! Heal! Heal! Darkness! Hang in there!"

Megumin is looking out the front of the carriage. "Kazuma! The cave is within sight! I'm ready to fire my magic anytime!"

"Yoshi!" Kazuma shouts.

Kazuma moves to the front and steps out the window. "Pops, stop the wagon to the side of the cave's opening!"

"Okay!" The driver agrees.

Kazuma pulls his bow out. "Aqua, I need support magic to boost my strength!"

"Got it!" Aqua turns back to Kazuma and holds her hand out to him. "Powered!"

Kazuma climbs onto the top of the carriage and starts to fire arrows at the Running Hawk Kites. "Snipe! Snipe! Snipe! Snipe!"

Kazuma manages to take down a few of the Hawks. The rest just makes a strange noise at him. 'I see... And I was starting to wonder just what made these Running Hawk Kites 'kites' of any kind. That clears it up.'

The group approaches the cave. "Hang on tight, folks!" The driver yells.

"Got it!" Kazuma yells back and holds onto the top of the carriage. 

This mother fucking driver some how pulls of a drift with a horse and carriage. 

The carriage stops just to the side of the cave opening

Kazuma hops off the top of the Carriage and runs towards Darkness. The Running Hawk Kites get ever so closer. Kazuma cuts the rope holding Darkness to the carriage and he throws her to the entrance of the cave.

Darkness yells out as she flies through the air. "Not bad! This treatment isn't bad at all! I should've expected as much from Kazuma! Roughed up and then used as monster bait--" She lands head first on the ground in front of the cave entrance. 

The Running Hawk Kites jump over Darkness and into the cave. Once they're all in the cave, Kazuma yells to Megumin. "Megumin!"

"Explosion!" Megumin casts onto the cave and it blows through the top of the cave.

The explosion is seen for miles.

Back with Smaug. The dust cloud dies down and we see Smaug, with an inflated belly, laying on the ground with feathers surrounding her.

Smaug moans in satisfaction and she burps out a few feathers. "I'm full."

Smaug then lets out a large belch and her stomach slowly deflates till it's flat. Smaug jumps to her feet and stretches. "Man, I could go for seconds. Like some strawberry cake!"

Later that night.

The caravan has set up for the night and everyone's cooking some food.

"Now, everyone, eat up!" The caravan leader says as he walks over to the party. He sets down a large steaming piece of meat in front of Kazuma. "This turned out great, so help yourself! I have to say, that was impressive!"

Aqua and Megumin both have smiles on their faces as the Caravan leader compliments them. "To think you had a magic user powerful enough to use explosion magic! And an arch priest able to treat all the injured with no trouble!"

Wiz, Darkness and Smaug are sitting off to the side. Smaug is blushing because Darkness forced her to sit in her lap, Darkness has her arms wrapped around Smaug's waist.

The caravan leader continues to praise the party. "Facing down that pack of Running Hawk Kites without backing down, all on her own! Such a courageous crusader! And being able to use advanced magic to slow them down with that swamp magic! Even the Dragon Slayer took on an entire group of Running Hawk Kites, I heard they have such great appetites. Not to mention the inspired decision to lure the enemy into that cave so that they could be dealt with all at once!"

The Caravan leader puts his arms out. "I am quite impressed!"

Kazuma sweats. 'Please stop, seriously. It's not like that at all. This is our fault.'

The Caravan leader holds out a coin pouch to Kazuma. "This is just to show my gratitude. Here, please."

Kazuma stands up and waves his arms. "No, no, no, no! It's totally fine! Really!"

"What are you saying? It's was your group that defeated the Running Hawk Kites!"

"As adventurers, it's only natural we contribute to the battle."

"Remarkable! To think that true adventurers like you people still exist in this harsh world!" The Caravan leader starts to cry.

Kazuma starts to cry. 'I can't accept a reward for a problem we caused!'

'I wish we took that money.' Smaug blushes as Darkness hugs her tighter.

"Good girl." Darkness whispers to Smaug as she pats Smaug's head. 

Smaug's eyes turn into swirls as she blushes. 'I'm supposed to be the dominate one.'

---

"KONOSUBA!" Dave cheers.

----

Everyone's drinking, Eating or partying. 

Smaug is putting dumplings into her mouth, that's already full of dumplings. People are cheering her on as she picks up another dumpling and puts into into her mouth.

Smaug throws her arms up in triumph and drool falls from the side of her mouth. "She did it! She got fifty into her mouth!" Everyone cheers.

There's another group cheering on Aqua as she does party tries, Wiz stands a few feet behind her.

Aqua does a few poses with her fans, then makes on appear on Wiz's head.

Kazuma, Megumin and Darkness are off to the side. Chomusuke is on Megumin's shoulder. Kazuma is pounding out the dents in Darkness' armor with a hammer and magic.

Megumin, Chomusuke, and Darkness watch on in awe as Kazuma repairs Darkness' armor.

"You guys are making this very awkward." Kazuma informs.

"Nah, I was just impressed with how well you were doing." Megumin states.

"Something about seeing my armor being repaired first-hand is exciting to watch." Darkness informs.

"I'm glad the smithing skills I learned for product development came in handy." Kazuma says.

The three look over as they hear cheers. There's still a fan on Wiz's head and she's covering her face in embarrassment. People give Aqua praise.

Kazuma deadpans. "She could probably make a living doing this sort of thing."

Couple hours later.

Everyone's asleep and the fires are out.

Smaug is sleeping peacefully next to Wiz, her tail wrapped around the Lich. Smaug laughs and drools in her sleep. "Mmmm, turkey." Then she lets out a light moan. "Darkness... Wiz..." She starts to blush in her sleep.

Kazuma is sleeping and he suddenly wakes up. He sits up and looks behind him. Then he turns to Megumin and whispers. "Hey, wake up, Megumin! Something's weird!" Said Explosive Loli doesn't wake up. 

"Hey! Megumin, Wiz, Smaug, wake up!" Kazuma whispers again. "Otherwise I'm gonna do something that'll make it hard to look me in the eye..." He brings his hands up. "You don't mind? It's fine, then?"

Darkness appears behind Kazuma. "Of course it's not!"

"What were you going to do?" Darkness asks Kazuma.

Kazuma looks back at Darkness and shouts. "Hey, don't scare me like that! I was about to do something crazy in front of you!"

"Seriously, what were you going to do? No, that's not important now."

"Hey, there's something out there!" An adventure shouts out. "Everyone, wake up!"

People start to wake up and get ready. Kazuma looks out in the distance. "And... Foresight." A large group of something is heading towards the caravan. "There's a lot of them! But they're moving stiffly..."

As they get closer an adventurer tosses his toward out to the moving group of monsters. It's revealed to be undead and everyone starts shouting. 

Wiz wakes up and she sits up. Smaug just snorts and rolls to the side as she continues to sleep. Her tail unwraps from Wiz.

"Handle things here!" Kazuma orders Darkness. "I'll get Aqua."

Darkness readies her sword as Kazuma runs towards Aqua. 'Now's our chance to pay everyone back!' Kazuma says in thought. 'After the trouble we caused when the Running Hawk Kites were attracted to Darkness--' He hears Aqua scream out and he looks towards her.

Aqua is laying on the ground, protecting her alcohol. "What is this?! Why am I surrounded by undead the second I wake up?! Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san!"

Kazuma just stares at Aqua. 'Wait. Is this...'

An undead approaches a sleeping Smaug and as it reaches down towards her. Smaug's tail shoots up and slaps the head off the undead, sending it flying into the sky and disappearing with a twinkle. The body falls backward and onto the ground.

Aqua stands up. "Trying to attack us while we sleep?! Pretty sneaky of you, undead! Oh, wandering souls, rest in peace! Turn Undead!"

A large magic circle surrounds the area. 

All the undead start to evaporate. Wiz yells out as she's also being affected by the spell.

"Hang in there, Wiz!" Darkness calls out.

Smaug sorts and curls under her blanket. Even Megumin is still alseep.

"Someone!" Darkness yells out. "Wiz is..."

People are to busy being in awe by Aqua's spell dealing with the undead.

'I'm sorry.' Kazuma apologizes in thought. 

Aqua laughs like a mad woman. "Your luck ran out when you ran into me! Now, I'll purify every last one of you!" She continues to laugh.

'I'm sorry.'

People begin to praise Aqua about her magic as she holds up her bottle of alcohol and spin in a circle. 

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything my friends keep causing. I'm sorry. If our goddess wasn't here, these zombies probably wouldn't have shown up in the first place.'

Smaug snorts and she wakes up. Then she sits up and looks around in confusion, her hair is all messed up and she has drool falling from her mouth. "Huh? Why is everyone awake?" Her tail sweatdrops. "Ehh, who cares." 

Smaug falls back and starts snoring as she immediately falls asleep. Smaug's tail shakes its "head" and it lays back into the ground.

Aqua slides over to Kazuma and pats his arm. "Well, Kazuma? Was that goddess-like or what? I have to say, I have been really nailing it lately! It wouldn't kill you to make an offering, y'know!" 

The Caravan Leader runs towards Kazuma with a coin pouch in his hands. "Wow, you've saved us again! This time, please, accept this reward!"

"I'm sorry!" Kazuma yells as he pulls Aqua away. "We absolutely can not accept!"

----

"KONOSUBA!" C4 and Beta yell together.

---

It's the morning and Kazuma is sitting in the back of the carriage where Aqua was. Smaug is in cat-kin form and she's sitting with Megumin on her lap. Wiz is passed out from Aqua's spell and has her head in Darkness' lap.

Aqua is looking out the window. "Hey, look over there!"

The caravan enters a hole that's been carved into a tall mountain. Smaug looks out the window. "I like this place! It has a mountain! Nya!"

The caravan exits the tunnel and comes to a city that's surrounded by the mountain. 

"We're here!" Aqua says in excitement. "The city of water and hot springs, Arcanretia!"

"Wow." Smaug says in awe. "It's beautiful, Nya."

The caravan moves through the city.

"Wow! Elves and dwarves!" Kazuma points out. "Now this is really fantastical!"

"Are there any dark elves, Nya?" Smaug as she looks around.

"The scenery is completely different from Axel..." Darkness says as she looks out a window. She then takes a deep breath. "And the air is so clean."

"Steamed buns" A shop keeper shouts out. "Care for a steamed bun?"

"Those are a local specialty, Arcan steamed buns." Megumin informs. "They're supposed to be quite tasty!"

"I'm impressed you know that, Megumin." Kazuma says.

Megumin turns to Kazuma. "Arcanretia is famous among adventurers as a health resort. The curative effects of the hot springs here are said to be extraordinary!"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, I'm so excited, Nya!" Smaug says in excitement. 

"My father took me to several different towns in the past, but this place is more beautiful than any of them." Darkness says. Then she looks at Kazuma. "This should be a good hot springs trip."

Kazuma lets out a chuckle. "If they're all like this, maybe we should've been visiting different towns all this time."

After a few minutes the caravan stops and the party gets out.

"Well, enjoy your holiday, folks!" The driver says and he sets off.

Kazuma waves his hand. "Thank's, Pops!"

Smaug is carrying Wiz on her back. Aqua wears her  translucent pink hagoromo.

"Aww.... Jarippa." Megumin says and she holds her hand out to the carriage. "Jarippa is being taken away!"

"She gave something a weird name again..." Kazuma mutters

"I like that name." Smaug mutters.

Aqua runs a few feet in front of the group and turns back. "Come on, everyone! Where should we go? You can ask me anything you need to know about this town! After all, this town is the home of the Axis Church, which I've blessed!"

'Wait... the same Axis Cult that's full of creepy weirdos?' Smaug asks in thought. 'And we're in its home town! That explains why Aqua wanted to come here, Lazy Crappy No Good Goddess!'

A group of people come over to the group and stop in front of the party.

"Welcome to Arcanretia!" A man sparkles as he greets the party.

"Are you tourists?" A woman sparkles as she asks. "Converts? Adventurers? Pilgrims?"

"If you've come looking for work, might I recommend the Axis Church?" Another guy recommends as he sparkles. 

Another woman pops up and sparkles. "We have a job right now where you can get paid just to tell other towns about how wonderful the Axis Church is!"

More people come in and sparkle, making the party, but Aqua, uncomfortable. "If you accept the position, you get the bonus of being able to identify yourself as part of the Axis Church!" The group then leans in. "How about it? Please, join us!"

Smaug's right eye twitches. 'If I'm gonna be apart of any religion, it'll be to my own. I'll call it The Chaos Dragon God! A religion that prays to me, Smaug. Oh that sounds really good!' She smiles to herself. 

A couple females gather around Aqua. "Such beautiful light blue hair! Is it natural? I'm jealous! I'm ever so jealous!"

"Your raiment is just like Aqua-sama's, too! It suit you!"

Aqua smiles to herself.

Kazuma leans to Darkness. "W-We should probably head to an inn for now."

"R-Right. Good idea." Darkness agrees.

The party bows, with Kazuma forcing Aqua to. "We've already got a priest from the Axis cult with us, so..." Kazuma says. "Pardon us!"

The party runs away.

"Farwell, comrades!" The cultists yell. "And may you have a blessed day!" Aqua waves to them.

----

"Konosuba!" Asher yells.

-----

Wiz is laying on a bed, with Kazuma, Smaug and Darkness sitting on chairs next to her. Kazuma's using drain touch on Smaug and giving the magic to Wiz.

Suddenly Wiz wakes up with a fearful look on her face. "Where am I?" She asks.

Kazuma stops using drain touch on Smaug. "Relax. We're already at Arcanretia."

"I feel as though I was on the edge of a beautiful river, and Verdia-san was happily waving to me from the other side, but there was a calming warming light trying to pull me back away from the river..." She looks at Kazuma with a smile. "Thank you so much, Kazuma-san."

"You should thank Smaug, not me."

"I'm glad you're not dead!" Smaug smiles in happiness. 

"I'm glad you're back." Darkness says to Wiz.

Kazuma puts a hand on his chin. "I hope that Aqua hasn't caused some new problem." He then puts his hands together and rest his head on top of them.

"Knowing her, she'd probably get the whole town pissed off at us." Smaug says.

"Don't jinx it!" 

Darkness puts a hand on Kazuma and Smaug's shoulder. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Megumin went with her."

"Really?" Kazuma asks. "You think so?"

Wiz sits up. "I'm fine now, so why don't the three of you take a look around town?"

"Let's go, Smaug, Kazuma." Darkness says. "I'd love to get a look at the city."

A few minutes later the three are walking about the town. Smaug is in a dress as she left her adventuring gear back at the Inn, Darkness is also in some casual clothes. 

Darkness points to a fountain that has a statue of Aqua, The Aqua statue looks better than the real deal. "Look, Smaug! There's a fountain!" 

"Cool!" Smaug Walks up beside Darkness. Kazuma walks up beside them.

"This statue of their goddess is beautiful..."

'And useless... I'd still smash, only if she was the last girl on this planet.' Smaug says in thought.

Darkness grabs Smaug's hand, said dragon girl looks at Darkness. Darkness smiles at Smaug and she smiles back. Their wedding rings shine in the sunlight. Darkness leans her head onto Smaug's shoulder and Smaug leans her head onto Darkness.

Kazuma is standing to the side and sweatdrops. 'I feel like a third wheel to some date.'

A girl carrying a basket of apples trips over, causing her and the apples to fall to the ground.  "My apples..." The lady whines.

(When I first watched this scene I for some reason thought she was gonna call them Appas, the name for Apples is Re:Zero. I don't know why, but I got really confused for a few seconds, then remembered, This is Konosuba, not the dark anime of Re:Zero. 

I've actually planned to make a Re:Zero book at one point, but it was out of my skill level for what I wanted to do. And my character wouldn't be the main focus of the story, but still be an important character. A very knowledgeable person, maybe too knowledgeable.)

"Are you okay?" Kazuma calls out.

The three start to pick up the lady's apples. After a few seconds they get all the apples back in the basket.

"Thank you so much!" The apple lady thanks the three as she bows. "You've been a huge help! Um..." She blushes and looks shy. "Can I do anything to thank you?"

'I can think of a few...' Smaug thinks to herself as a perverted smile forms on her face. Darkness starts to crush her hand. 'OW! OW! OW!' She looks to Darkness only to receive an innocent smile from her wife. 'It's like she can read my thoughts. Damn Dragon Libido! You've got a hot and beautiful girl next to you! Just wait till tonight and she's all yours! Wait! Stupid Dragon, stop being perverted!' Smaug shakes her head and the intrusive thoughts go away.

The apple lady walks over to Kazuma and grabs his hand and holds it. "There's a café run by the Axis Church just up ahead!" Kazuma then realizes something. "Why don't we go there and have a chat?"

Kazuma moves away from the girl. "I'm good, thanks." 

The girl forcefully grabs Kazuma, surprising the two other girls. "W-W-Wait a second!" She starts to gain a crazy look. "I'm actually great at telling fortunes! Why don't you let me read your future?"

Kazuma tries to get away. "Th-That's quite all right! Seriously, it's fine! L-Let go!"

Darkness looks between the two, not knowing what to do. Smaug is just smugly smiling and seeing Kazuma being uncomfortable. 

The lady's eyes glow with a dangerous look. "I've seen your future! Grave misfortune awaits you! But if you convert to the Axis faith, your misfortune can be avoided! Join us! Why don't you join us?" She grabs Kazuam's shoulders.

"I'm experiencing misfortune at this very instant!" Kazuma shouts and the girl pulls at his arm. "Hey, let go!" He looks at the married couple next to him. "Darkness, Smaug, save me!"

Smaug just shrugs her shoulders and looks away. Darkness walks over to the lady and puts a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry." Darkness holds up her Eris necklace.

"I'm actually a believer in the Eris faith." Darkness informs. "If you want to proselytize to him, you'll have to wait until--"

(Proselytize: convert or attempt to convert (someone) from one religion, belief, or opinion to another.)

The apple lady just spits to the side. She then picks up her basket and walks away, but stops to spit to the side one more time, before walking away.

Smaug's right eye twitches as her jaw is dropped in shock.

Kazuma is too in shock from the ordeal. "W-Well, you know how it is. I know that the Axis cult and the Eris church don't get along too well... Maybe we should keep your charm hidden." He looks to Darkness. "And don't let it bother you too--"

Darkness blushes and lets out a small moan.

"Are you turned on right now?" Kazuma asks.

Darkness looks away. "I am not."

"But you just made that 'Mmm!' sound."

---

"Ko." No." "Su." "Ba!" Ilulu, Tanya, Luco, and Merlin all say one after the other.

-----

Smaug and Darkness are walking alongside a river while holding hands. Kazuma is next to them.

"This place really is the home of the Axis cult." Darkness comments 

"I really don't like these people." Smaug says. "And that's not Racist! I hate most humans and humanoids!" 

"Well, there are fewer people around here, so we should be fine now." Kazuma says.

"Eek!" A girl shouts. "Help me!" A girl runs towards the group as a large man follows her.

"I smell a scam." Smaug mutters as she sniffs the air.

"You there! Please, help me!" The girl stops and points to the large man a couple feet behind her. "This violent-looking man, who's probably an Eris cultist, is trying to force me into his dark ways!"

The man stops and laughs, then he points at Kazuma. "Hey, you there! You're not with the Axis Church, are you? If you were as cool and strong as the members of that faith, I'd have to run away! But if you're not, I'm not gonna hold back!" The three deadpan. "I've received the blessing of the Dark Goddess Eris! If you wanna get in my way, then I'll let you have it!"

'I should save up my points and buy one of those two dragon transformation skills I can get.' Smaug says in thought. 'Then I can burn this city to the ground.'

The woman pulls out a few application sheets. "Oh, this is horrible. And all I have on me is the paperwork for joining the Axis Church! If only someone would sign their name,-" The man pretends to grab at the girl as she does a dramatic pose. "-this sinister Eris cultist would flee in fear!"

Kazuma, Smaug and Darkness just walk past the two with their heads down.

The girl reaches out to them. "Hey, wait, don't abandon me, sir!" She and the man walk after the three. "It's fine! You just have to write your name on this paper, and then you'll receive some kind power from Aqua-sama to make you strong and super cool!"

'The last time I got a power from Aqua, she turned me into a girl. Got rid of my buddy. Gave me huge badonkers. Changed my view on things! AND MY PERSONALITY! I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE MYSELF ANYMORE! DIDN'T GIVE ME MY BOOK ON HOW TO CONTROL MY POWERS. I'M GET HUNGRY A LOT! AND I'M HORNY ALL THE TIME, IT'S LIKE BEING A TEENAGER AGAIN WITH HOW BAD IT IS! But I didn't get married and have a harem, I got turned into an awesome dragon. I get to see an awesome new world and live out my fantasies. I can also become a cat girl. And I can actually grow my buddy back with a skill. So it kinda balances it out, sorta.' Smaug rants in thought.

"With that power, this Eris cultist will surely lose his nerve and run away!" The girl motions to the large man.

"That's right!" The large man agrees. "Plus, if you join, you'll get all kind of rare bonuses, like becoming a good entertainer and being beloved by undead monsters!"

Darkness turns back to them and holds up her Eris necklace. "If you insist on calling Eris-sama a dark goddess in my presence--"

The two cultists spit to the side. Then they walk away and spit to the side one more time.

"Is everyone in the Axis cult like this?" Kazuma questions.

Darkness moans.

"Would I get in trouble for burning this city down if they keep disrespecting my wife?" Smaug asks.

"Don't go committing genocide for me, okay." Darkness kisses Smaug on the cheek.

"Fine, just this once." Smaug crosses her arms.

----

"Konosuba!" Morgan says.

----

The three come to a market place and a man greets them. "Congratulations!" The man greets to Kazuma. "You are the millionth to pass down this street!"

'They even have these in this world too!' Smaug shouts in thought as her right eye twitches.

"I'd love to give you a commemorative prize, but you see,-" The man holds up an Axis Cult application sheet. "-the prize is actually sponsored by the Axis Church, so if you'd just help me get this paperwork out of the way,-" His eyes gain a dangerous glint. "-We can get your name, and you can receive your prize..."

The three managed to get away, but another cultist girl comes up to Kazuma. "Hey! Hey, wow, it's been so long! It's me! You know, me! How've you been? Remember? We were classmates in school!"

'No you weren't lady.' Smaug's eye twitches in annoyance and the only thing keeping her back is Darkness holding her hand. 'I went to school with that man before he dropped out. Damn man couldn't get a girl friend, but I had a few in school. They weren't as hot as Darkness though.'

The cult lady leans onto Kazuma. "We were in the same class! Do you remember me?" Her eyes gain a dangerous glint as she holds up an Axis Cult application form. "I've changed a lot since joining the Axis Church, so maybe you didn't recognize me!"

The three manage to get away from her.

"Oh, my! Wait a moment!" An old lady with a basket of vials calls out. This time the cultist foes after Smaug. "Are you two newlyweds?" Smaug and Darkness are holding hands. "Why, how darling! Here, take this detergent!" She hands Smaug a vial. "OH, don't worry about paying!" She continues to give Smaug vials. "It's a little wedding gift from an old lady!" Smaug is holding many vials. "It's actually some amazing stuff! I mean, it's received Aqua-sama's blessing, so it can get rid of any kind of stain!"

The old lady shakes Smaug's shoulder. Smaug's right eye is violently twitching. "And it's so easy on your skin! I'm serious!" She gives Smaug another vial as the old lady's eyes gain a dangerous glint. "You can even drink it!"

'Burn. I. Must. Burn. Everything.' Smaug smiles. 'Flames. Flames are beautiful.' 

Smaug tail is just dragging along the ground, having lost all it energy. 

An hour later.

The three are at a restaurant and are sitting at a table. Kazuma has face planted the table. "What is wrong with this town?" He asks as he looks to the side.

Smaug is hunched over and staring at wide open space. "So. Many. Things. To. Burn."

Darkness smiles. "A trial in a heretical land..." She chuckles. "What an experience!"

Kazuma sits up. "You never break character, do you?"

An elf waitress walks over. "Here are your orders." She hands Kazuma and Smaug their drinks.

'She's not a dark elf.' Smaug sighs to herself.

"Oh, and for our guest from the Eris cult..." The elf sets a bowl with a bone in it on the ground. "This is for you, on the house."

'I wonder if elves are as sweet as Smaug from the book said they are?' Smaug wonders in thought.

"Please enjoy yourselves." The elf waitress walks away.

"Hey, Smaug, Kazuma, why don't we all move to this town?" Darkness suggests with a blush.

"Absolutely not!" Kazuma and Smaug say together. 

----

"KONOSUBA!" Haru yells.

-----

The three are walking down a street. Darkness and Smaug are holding hands together as Kazuma is walking next to them.

"Let's just head back to the inn." Kazuma suggests.

"Yes, please." Smaug sighs.

A little girl is walking down the street toward the three, when she suddenly trips. She yelps and hits the ground.

'I wanna laugh, but I don't want to be rude.' Smaug says in thought.

"Are you okay?" Kazuma asks as the three run over to the little girl.

The little girl cries as she sits up. "Let me see." Kazuma says as he wipes a cloth over a scratch on the girls knee. "Looks like it's just a scratch."

"Thank you, mister, ladies!" The little girl smiles.

'Did we finally find the one?' Smaug asks in thought.

Kazuma stands up and holds his hand out. "Here." The girl grabs his hand and he helps her up. "Well? Does it hurt?"

"No, it's fine now!" The little girl states. "Thank you! Hey, nice mane, tell me your name!"

"It's Kazuma. Satou Kazuma." Kazuma then motions to Darkness. "And the scary lady here is Darkness." He then motions to Smaug. "And the MILF Dragon is Smaug."

"D-Don't give me such a weird introduction!" Darkness says. "Am I really that scary-looking?"

"And don't call me that in front of a child!" Smaug yells. "You'll taint her ears!"

Kazuma and the little girl laugh. "How do you write 'Satou Kazuma'?" She pulls out a paper and pencil, then she holds them out. "Write it for me, mister!"

"Sure." Kazuma smiles and grabs the paper and pencil. "My name is written like--" Kazuma freezes as he looks at the paper. It's actually an Axis Cult application form. He looks up to the girl and she has a dangerous glint in her eyes. He then rips up the paper. "Damn it all!"

"MISTER!" The littler girl shouts as tears fall from her eyes and holds her hand out.

'Humans are the worst!' Smaug yells in thought.

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03-07-2023