(I think Chunnimiku's voice actor could be Brittney Karbowski. She voiced Wendy Marvel in Fairy Tail.)

(Also remember, this is a comedy, not a serious book. So things are not always meant to make sense. Some people seem to forget that.)

Inside the Parties Mansion, we hear cheering in the kitchen, then some liquid flies out of the kitchen entry way. 

"Wow, those thighs can really work." Aqua says in surprise.

Darkness moans. "Oh, those thighs..."

"Oh yeah!" Megumin cheers.

Inside the kitchen we see Smaug, wearing a bikini and showing off her muscles, and there's liquid covering her thighs. "Next!" She smiles.

Aqua puts a Watermelon between Smaug's thighs and after a second, Smaug crushes the watermelon with ease. Everyone cheers.

"Oh, boy, this is gonna be one good smoothie." Aqua smiles as she grabs a coconut.  "Now this one." She puts it between Smaug's tights.

Smaug brings her thighs together and crushes the coconut. "I can crush anything!" She proudly smiles.

Smaug feels another object between her thighs and she starts crushing, only to hear Darkness moan. Smaug looks down to see Darkness' head between her thighs.

"Hey, don't stop!" Darkness whines.

"Darkness!" Aqua yells. "We need Smaug to crush more fruit so we can add them to our smoothie." She holds up a pineapple. 

Darkness blushes and rubs Smaug's muscular thighs. "But they're so strong and soft!" Aqua grabs Darkness' legs and starts to pull. "No!"

Smaug just watches in amusement as Aqua tries to pulls Darkness away from Smaug's thighs.

"No!" Darkness yells. "I must be crushed by the thighs."

"Darkness!" Aqua yells. "I want my fruity smoothie!"

Megumin is just watching from the side and eating a piece of watermelon.

---

"KONOSUBA!" Chunnimiku yells.

---

"What?! Fight a golem?!" Aqua yells from her spot on the couch, she's also wearing her pajamas. "Are you stupid? Are you literally stupid?" She sips on her smoothie. "I'm not doing it! We're set for money, so I'm going to live the easy life from now on!"

Nearby Smaug, Megumin and Darkness are sitting at a table. Smaug has a drink between her breasts and she's sipping from a straw. Megumin is playing with Chomusuke and Darkness takes a sip from her smoothie.

Kazuma points at Aqua. "The people in town are terrified, y'know! Don't you feel any sense of duty as an adventurer?!"

"Who was the guy, whining 'No quests! No danger!' until just a while ago?!" Aqua tells and takes a sip of her smoothie.

"Golems are big, heavy, and hard, aren't they?" Darkness asks and she blushes. "I can only imagine the way something so tough would let me have it..."

"I'm big and hard!" Smaug states. "...That wounded wrong."

Darkness then looks at Kazuma and gives him a thumbs up. "Very well! I, of course, am ready to join you!"

Kazuma gives her a thumbs up. "Looks like I don't need to explain!"

Smaug then slams her hands into the table. "I'm bored so I'll join you! And I'm close to buying the cheeper Dragon Transformation skill, so I need all the fighting I need." She sips from her booby smoothie.

"I need you would." Kazuma then turns to Megumin. "You're in too, right, Megumin?"

Megumin runs Chomusuke's cheeks. "I'm afraid that I need more girth than a golem offers to be satisfied anymore."

"You, the hothead who's always ready to fight?!"

Megumin turns to Kazuma with an annoyed look. "D you think I'm a charging bull or a berserker?! I have the right to choose who I use my Explosion magic--"

Kazuma puts a finger on Megumin's lips, shutting her up. "Shhh. This kind of enemy would be troubles, normally, but with you there, it'll be over in one blast. And once you do this, your already significant fame is bound to shine even brighter." Megumin blushes. "The tale will be told for generations. And the Legend of Megumin gains a another meaty chapter." He removes his hand from Megumin's face.

Megumin smiles and stands up. "Well, I suppose I have to, then! Let's go! Right now!"

"How can you be such a pushover, Megumin?" Aqua asks. "Well, I'm not going! I'll watch the house."

Suddenly there's a loud knock on the front door and Smaug stands up. "I got it!"

Smaug removes the drink from here breasts and she sets it on the table. Then she moves over to the front door and opens it, her smile turning into a frown.

"Hello, Smaug!" Dave cheers.

"Hello, Madam Smaug." Chunnimiku greets.

It's Dave and her Elf friend outside.

"Dave." Smaug grumbles.

Dave sweats a little. "Uh, hehe, um. Do you think we can stay here until me head back out again? Sleeping in the stables for a past week wasn't fun."

Smaug glares at Dave.

Megumin pokes her head out and spots Chunnimiku. "Chunnimiku." She does a pose and her eyes glow red.

Chunnimiku's eyes glow read and she does a pose. "Megumin."

"I should have known you'd be the one to annoy mama Smaug." Megumin states.

"I-I'm not annoying her!" Chunnimiku pouts and her long ears wiggle. "I'm just following Miss Dave."

"Why don't you go and annoy Yunyun, by being her freind." 

"Someone like me doesn't deserve to be friends with the great Yunyun and she's the daughter of the Chieftain. So she deserves better friends than I."

Megumin just deadpans.

Kazuma comes over. "Oh, it's Kanda."

"It's Dave now, Kazuma." Dave states.

Smaug then gains an idea. 'We're going on a dangerous quest... Hmmm, I have an idea!' "I guess you can stay with us, but you have to come on a few quests with us."

Dave eyes shine and she smiles. "I'm fine with that!"

.

.

.

The party, plus Dave and Chunnimiku, are standing outside some ruins.

Aqua is crying and reaching towards her staff, which Kazuma is holding, and he's holding her back. "Give it back!" She cries. "Give me back my holy implement!"

"That must be it." Kazuma observes the ruins.

"Come on! Give it back!"

Darkness hums. "The giant golem doesn't seem to be around, at a glance."

"Come on Kazuma." Aqua yells. "You better not think tou can get away with this!"

"Could it have wandered off?" Megumin asks. "That won't do! It'll be a loss to the page count of my legend!"

"I'm gonna be mad if it wandered off." Smaug says. "I had to deal with a half-wit all the way here."

"Who's a half-wit?" Dave asks and Smaug just gives the shorter dragon the side eye. "Smaug?"

"Miss, I think she means you." Chunnimiku states.

"Pffft." Dave waves her elf friend off. "Impossible, I'm Smaug's best friend!"

'I only know you because our parents were best friends.' Smaug says in thought.

"Guess we'll have to get close." Kazuma says.

"Just give it back, you thieving NEET!" Aqua pushes Kazuma in the face.

"Oh, put a sock in it!" Kazuma yells back at the blue thing as he pushes her back. "If it's really important, you should take better care of it!" He pushes Aqua's staff back into her hands. "You were using it to hang out the laundry! Well, now that we're here, there's no running! Megumin or Smaug can one-shot this thing. Just relax!"

"You do have a point." Aqua says. "Oh, well! Since it's a small fry that Megumin or Smaug can one-shot, let's wrap it up and head home!"

Kazuma points to the Flag Setting Blue Thing. "Why do you like setting ominous flags so much?" He turns to Dave and Chunnimiku. "What kind of magic do the two of you even use."

Dave smiles brightly. "I know basic fire magic and some good Time and Space magic!" She then holds her hand out and it disappears into thin air. "Like this!" She then pulls a sword out of thin air. "I have a space inventory!"

Chunnimiku holds her staff out in front of her. "I only know Ice magic!"

Megumin and Kazuma deadpan. "Is that all?" Kazuma asks.

"N-No!" The tips of Chunnimiku's ears turn red. "I'm an Arch-Wizard, So I know many different kinds of ice magic, from offensive, defensive and support! I'm trying my best to learn the spell Absolute Zero. But it's a really hard spell to learn. But I've gotten the hang of most of it,  with the help of mine and Megumin's mentor."

"You just can't get the chant right, you long ear friend." Megumin says.

"I-I can too!"

"You don't seem to like her, Megumin." Smaug calls out. "Why's that?"

Megumin just huffs and crosses her arms as she turns away.

Chunnimiku sweats as she scratches her cheek. "It's because I have a much larger mana reserve then her."

"Like how much?" Aqua asks.

"Um... To fire like four, five or maybe six explosions?"

Everyone blinks. "That's a lot of mana." Chunnimiku nervously shifts from all the attention.

Darkness walks towards the ruins. "Enough talking, I'll head into the ruins first. The golem could be lurking. It's times like these when you should rely on me."

"Yeah." Kazuma agrees. "You're usually useless once the real trouble starts, after all." Darkness gasps.

"Dave, go with her." Smaug orders.

Dave smiles as she runs forward with her sword ready. "Okay!"

"Please, be careful, Miss Dave." Chunnimiku calls out.

"I'm always careful, aren't-" Dave trips on a rock and falls face first into the ground.

"No, you're really now."

Kazuma turns to Megumin. "Okay, Megumin, stand by on the edge of the ruins."

Megumin twirls her staff around in excitement. "Leave it to me! I'll blow it and the ruins to smithereens!"

"Yeah, they didn't ask for all that." Kazuma then turns to Smaug. "Smaug, be ready to back Megumin up."

Smaug slams her right first into her left palm. "I'm all fired up!"

Suddenly the ground shakes and nearly everyone falls over, Aqua does fall over. "Hey, I think the ground is shaking..." The Blue thing points out.

"Oh, really?!" Smaug yells sarcastically as her say sways in panic. "I didn't notice!"

Something starts to push up and out of the ground from within the ruins. It's very large.

"Kazuma!" Darkness turns back to him. "I think this might be a bit much, even for me!"

Dave starts to back up. "I'm Backing up, Backing up. Backing on up!"

"K-Kazuma-san..." Aqua calls out.

"Yeah?" Kazuma replies.

"This is really bad, isn't it?" 

"It's huge!" Chunnimiku yells.

"That's what she said!" Smaug yells.

Megumin stares at the growing figure coming out of the ground, in shock. "Kazuma, this thing..."

"Yeah?" Kazuma says.

"What is it?!"

"Well, it's pretty obviously not a golem!" Kazuma yells. "It's a giant humanoid robot!"

"It looks like something from Power Rangers!" Smaug yells.

"A Japanese guy who got reincarnated here is definitely behind this!"

The Golem walks down to the group, causing everyone but Darkness and Smaug to run away in panic.

"Bring it on you stupid Golem!" Smaug yells and she pulls back her first and it catches on fire. "AHHH!" The golem pulls its first back and throws a punch at Smaug.

"Dragon's Fist of F-" Smaug starts to chant, but the Golem's first hits her and she's sent off flying. "FINLAND!" She flies past the party and slams into the ground.

"You okay, Smaug?" Dave calls out.

Smaug holds her head up and small chibi dragon Smaug's fly around her head. "Where's the leak, Ma'am."

The golem throws a punch at Darkness, but said girl catches it.

"You okay, Darkness?!" Kazuma calls out as the party stops running and turns back to the Crusader. Darkness gasps. "What's wrong?"

"Kazuma, this is bad!" Darkness shouts back. "It's lighter than it looks! It won't be able to really let me have it! Although there is something appealing-" She starts to get pushed down by the fist. "-About getting trampled by something this large..."

"Hey, Megumin!" Kazuma yells as she points at the golem. "Do the Explosion magic before it's too late for her, in more ways than one!"

"I won't!" Megumin states. 

"All right, we'll- Wait, what?"

Megumin's eyes gain stars. "I could never destroy such a cool-looking golem!" She turns to Smaug. "Smaug, Smaug, let's capture it somehow and bring it home!"

"I...must...say...no." Smaug struggles.

Chunnimiku tugs on Dave's shirt. "Miss Dave! Miss Dave! Can we also get one!" Her eyes shine. "I promise to not accidentally freeze the entire bath again!"

Dave scratches her cheek. "I don't know, Golems are a lot of work for someone your age."

"This is an emergency!" Kazuma yells at Megumin. "What are you saying?!"

Megumin points at the Golem.

"I promise to feed it and take care of it!" Megumin states. "I'll even handle walks and training!"

Veins appear on Smaug's head and she starts to sweat. "I... can't... say.... no... for... some reason!"

"A pet?!" Kazuma yells. "You want a pet that size?! What is wrong with your brain?!"

"I mean, we did keep Aqua." Smaug points out.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Aqua yells.

Suddenly Darkness yells out as her breast plate gets thrown off her. Then the golem starts to flick Darkness' chest up and down.

"S-Stop it!" Darkness says. "Th-This is salacious!"

Chunnimiku covers B sized chest as she looks horrified. "I don't want one anymore!"

Dave blinks a few times, then covers her eyes and looks away. "Nope!"

Smaug faceplams. "And I thought this was going to be dangerous." 

"We should see how this plays out." Kazuma states.

"Pervert!" Smaug yells.

"N-No!" Darkness whines.

"That said, what do we do?" Megumin asks with a blush present. "Darkness is in real trouble, but I can't bring myself to damage that gleaming metal and dynamic form...."

Aqua goes over to Megumin. "I'll make you an even cooler one! Just do something, now!"

"I'll hold you to that, all right? It has to be even cooler than that one!"

Aqua nods.

"More.... Do it more!" Darkness moans.

'I was wondering where my submissive side came from... I think it's because of Darkness.' Smaug says in thought.

"Darkness!" Kazuma shouts. "Get over here before she finishes the incantation!"

Megumin starts her chant.

"Miku, freeze it when Darkness gets away, so that it can't move!" Dave points to the golem and Miku nods.

"Yes, miss!" Miku agrees and she holds her staff out. "Spirits of the frozen forest, hear my call for aid." The air around her gets colder and colder and ice starts to form around the ground. "In the name of victory and peace, I order you to follow my will! Blue and White of what is frozen become of what I will or be destroyed for you do not yield! For I am the master of Ice and Queen of all things frozen and cold! So listen to me and cast this spell!" Blue and White magic flows around her.

"Darkness!" Smaug shouts. "If you get away now I'll... I'll do that thing you like in bed!"

Darkness suddenly appears behind Smaug. "You better not be lying to me." She says in a serious tone.

Smaug blushes. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Frozen Entrapment!" Chunnimiku slams her staff into the ground in front of her and ice slithers along the ground and reaches the golem, trapping its legs in a thick layer of ice.

"Do it, Megumin!" Kazuma shouts.

"Rupture forth, Explosion!" Megumin castes

A massive explosion blows the golem up and most of the surrounding area.

Smaug gets up and off the ground as Darkness sighs in satisfaction. "Oh, I am totally going to be satisfied today!" Darkness smiles and blushes.

"I bet." Kazuma says as he lays nearby on the ground.

"Not only did I take a beating like none I've had in ages, but it was under a filthy gaze!"

"Hey!"

"It's been so long since I took on such a fulfilling quest!"

Kazuma sits up. "I wasn't even watching! My filthy gaze wasn't aimed at you!"

Dave jumps off the ground and dusts her hands off. "All in a days work!"

Chunnimiku sweat drops as she looks at Dave. "You hardly did anything."

"But I helped you cast your magic."

"What?" 

Aqua, carrying Megumin, walks over to the downed golem, which is still intact. Megumin points at the golem. "Aqua, let's take the golem's wreckage back with us! I'm sure that'll speed along our construction!"

"How are we supposed to carry something that heavy?" Aqua asks.

"It's magnificent..."

"I'll make you a Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden out of milk cartons when we get back, so be patient."

The rest of the party and the two extras walk over to Aqua and Megumin.

"Milk cartons?" Megumin asks, not too excited about that.

"Man..." Kazuma deadpans as he stares at the golem. Then he notices the eyes starting to blink red, followed by a beep. 'Wait. That seems like bad news.'

The blinking and beeping slowly get fast and faster.

"Well, we're pretty awesome for taking that thing out and coming out of it okay!" Aqua jinxes. "Since we all did such a good job today, let's head home and have something tasty!"

The eyes rapidly blink and the beeps rapidly go off. Smaug's tail panics and sways around.

"BAKA!" Smaug and Kazuma yell.

"Why do you have to keep setting flags like that?!" Kazuma screams.

The golem self destructs in a massive explosion.

----

"KONOSUBA!" Both Daves say. 

"I think we just became best friends."

"Yes, we totally did!"

-----

Dave and Chunnimiku sit at a table within the party's mansion, it's night time. Chunnimiku aims her staff at a glass of water and casts a spell. A few ice cubes appear in the water.

Dave groans in boredom. "I'm sooooo bored!"

Chunnimiku takes a sip of her water. "Just be glad that we don't have to stay in the stable for now." She sets her glass down. "Since you spent all our money on a fake magic rock, Miss Dave.

"He promised it wasn't fake!" Dave shakes her arms up and down. She then leans back in her chair. "Just what are Smaug and Darkness doing in their room together? They've been up there for like 9 hours!" 

"Well, Madam Smaug did promise Darkness something. So they might be doing that, Miss Dave."

Dave lets out a whine. "Can they hurry up, I'm bored."

Chunnumiku pulls out a book about a boy with two souls. "You can read this, Miss Dave."

Dave sighs and grabs the book. "Fine."

-----

"KONOSUBA!" Baxter says. "Wait, why am I here? I'm the one writing this thing."

----

Smaug is laying her head on Darkness' lap, using it as a pillow, as the two of them are on the sofa. Darkness is drinking some tea as Smaug rests her eyes, her tail is wrapped around Darkness' waist.

Aqua is building a statue made of milk cartons, while Megumin watches.

Dave and Chunnimiku are off to the side watching Aqua build the statue. Chunnimiku's ears twitch in excitement as her eyes shine.

"What?!" Aqua shouts. "You took on another weird quest?! Are you stupid? Are you one of those idiots who only pretends to be smart? This should be obvious, but I'm really busy right now!" Kazuma just stares at her. "Stop trying to save face and head to the Guild and cancel!"

"Aqua's right!" Megumin says. "We don't have time to waste on that kind of nonsense! Now, let's put that request out of our heads and finish Dendromaiden! Quickly!"

Megumin continues. "We need to finish the construction of Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden!"

"Hey, is that thing really made out of milk cartons?" Kazuma asks.

"Sure is. You want one, Kazuma?" Aqua asks. "Well, you can't have one! There's only one Transforming-Combining Dendromaiden in the whole world. If you want it, you'll have to negotiate with Megumin."

Smaug sits up. "Oh make one in my likeness next!"

"No, you stupid horny useless dragon!" Aqua shouts.

"What'd you call me, you Useless H2O?! I'll kil-" Darkness just shoves Smaug's head back down onto her lap and begins to pat her head. 

"There there." Darkness sodtly says. "Don't let the big bad mean goddess make you mad."

Smaug's eyes grow heavy. 'How does she do this to me? The Great and Powerful Smaug! Who bows down to no one!' She closes her eyes. 'Hmmm, lap pillow. Every man's dream.'

"Well, we should at least hear what kind of request it is." Darkness calls out. "If it's a fearsome foe..." She blushes. "I wouldn't be opposed to accepting it!"

"We'll come with." Dave says.

Megumin jumps around chanting. "Transforming-Combining Dedromaiden!"

"I'd rather hold off on doing any quests for a while..." Aqua says.

"It'll be fine." Kazuma claims. "They just want us to explore the ruins we cleared out the other day. Plus, since we defeated the golem that was guarding the place, we can take any treasure we find back with---"

Aqua slams the doors to the room open. "Let's do it!"

----

"KO" "NO" "SU" BA!" Smaug, Dave, Chunnimiku and Megumin say.

----

Guild Request

Investigate inside the ruins

Difficulty Level: Unknown

Everyone stands outside the ruins. Chomusuke is on top of Chunnimiku's head.

"Say, this is just about peeking inside, right?" Aqua asks. "Couldn't you just use your Lurk skill and handle it yourself?" She looks at Kazuma.

"I don't mind doing it that way, but I'll be keeping all the treasure I find." Kazuma states.

Aqua walks towards the entrance. "Off we go!"

---

"KONOSUBA!" The party shouts.

----

The party and extras are deep within the ruins. Aqua is playing with Chomusuke as Megumin is checking out some weird toy.

"All of this magical equipment defies even my comprehension..." Megumin states. "What could it be used for?"

Darkness is stiffing a container. "From the faint aroma of this thing, I'd guess it was a container for perfume?"

Kazuma's eyes widen. 'That's an air freshener for a toilet! I'm sure of it... This place was built by a Japanese person who reincarnated here!'

Smaug is looking at a small stuffed toy of a Japanese Idol with long, turquoise twintails. 'This person was definitely from Japan.'

Dave pops over. "Oh that's so cool!"

Chunnimiku comes over and looks at the stuff doll as her ears twitch. 

"Hey!" Kazuma shouts out. "My Enemy Detection skill just went off!"

"It's probably just a smaller version of that golem we beat before." Aqua states and Chumusuke plays with Aqua's hair. "Which means that Darkness should be able to handle it. And while she has its attention, Kazuma takes it down! It's not like Megumin and I can do anything against an indoor golem, and Smaug would probably destroy the place more. Dave is too incompetent to do anything and Chunnimiku would freeze everyone. So we'll be cheering from the rear!"

Darkness swings her sword up and down with a smile on her face.

"How about you cast support magic from the rear instead?!" Kazuma suggests.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Aqua complains. "My holy magic gets its power from the prayers of my believers! Why would I waste that on some shut-in NEET or some horny MILF dragon?" Chomuskue jumps of her.

"I'm not a MILF." Smaug glares at Aqua.

Suddenly a bunch of babies attack Aqua.

"Why?! Why does it always happen to me?!" Aqua screams. "Am I really that popular?!"

Smaug just backs away with a hint of fear. "Yup, I'mma out of here!"

"Huh?" Dave questions. "Oh, right. Dolls. Dragon Maid Smaug had a bad run in with one and it kinda traumatized him."

"Darkness, use Decoy!" Kazuma orders. "Lure them away with your skill!"

"I already used it, but something's not right!" Darkness informs. "Could it be..."

Aqua continues to scream.

"Those are really creepy!" Chunnimiku hides behind the shorter golden dragon.

"Aqua!" Megumin calls out. "Those are ghosts, or something else that has possessed the golems! Ghosts that have possessed a humanoid shape! Undead, in other words!"

"God Blow!" Aqua immediately casts, killing the ghost babies and sending their souls away. "God... Requiem."

-----

"I'm Hungry." Smaug says. 

----

The gang arrives at the ruins owner's bedroom and they begin to search it. Smaug's tail pops out from under a Kotatsu. 

"Heh, I'm Queen Under the Kotatsu!" Smaug chuckles.

Dave sweat drops at Smaug's behavior, while Chunnimiku is not amused. 

"We haven't found anything that looks valuable yet." Megumin informs.

"And this looks like the last room." Darkness says as she looks through a book.

Kazuma looks at a keypad that's on a thick steel door. "Is this a vault? Maybe there's a hint on how to open it somewhere...."

Smaug's head pops out from under the Kotatsu. "My video game instincts are kicking in!"

"Video... game?" Chunnimiku questions.

"Don't worry about it." Dave says,

Aqua pulls out a book from a dresser drawer. "What's this? Is it a journal?"

Everyone moves over to Aqua as she opens the book. 

"What in the world is that?" Megumin questions as she notices the foreign writing in the book. 

Smaug reads the first page. 'Hey, it's written in Japanese!' 

"I'm a Crimson Demon, and I've never seen this language before." Chunnimiku states as she looks at the first page as her ears twitch a couple times.

"It's Japanese." Aqua states.

'What did the person who wrote this think?' Kazuma questions in thought. 'I feel a little guilty about reading someone else's journal.'

"Well, read it then!" Smaug says to Aqua. "I want to know what's in it."

"I'm on it! I'm on it!" Aqua says and she begins to read from the book. " 'Parallel World Log, Day 1. Today I arrived in this world at the request of a goddess. I was sent to defeat the Devil King and save this world. I'm sure it'll be an incredibly difficult task, but I'm determined to see it though. Hearing that made me feel embarrassed. We were sent to this world for the same reason, but what have I been doing? If the receptionist lady hadn't sent me here, I'd probably be lazing around today...

Parallel World Log, Day 7. I tested the power that the goddess granted me. It has its conditions for use, but it's incredibly powerful. It lets me create whatever I want. With it, I think I could even conquer the world. But my wish remains the same: defeat the Devil King, and save the people of this world.'"

'The power to create whatever he wanted...' Smaug says in thought. 'Heh, I could create unlimited Turkey legs! I'm amazed he wanted to save this world and not conquer it. I bet if I become powerful enough with the direction I'm going, I could conquer this world! But that seems like a lot of work...'

" 'Parallel World Log, Day 113. I've been trying, but struggling, to create something that can stand against the Devil King. I think the conditions that come with my power may be the problem. I need a strong desire to be able to create things... Essentially, how much do I want the thing I'm making? Does that mean I don't want to defeat the Devil King badly enough? My doubts keep piling up.' "

'Wow, he seemed to struggle a lot.' Smaug says in thought. 'Hmm, he seems to start using a bit of this world's writing now. Japanese is slowly dwindling in his writing and is completely replaced with this world's language.'

Aqua continues reading from the Journal. " 'I understand what I really want. But it's not as if I don't want to defeat the Devil King. I'm so lost. Just what is it I should do? I asked myself that question again and again. After I finally overcame my doubts... I'm giving up on defeating the Demon King. I mean, what do you want? I used to be a NEET! I can't change that much on the inside just because I came to another world!' " Everyone deadpans as they read the journal. " 'I'm gonna do what I want from now on, and make only the stuff I really want to. First up is every man's dream, a beautiful robot girl. A giant robot would be good, too. Oh, man, maybe both!'"

'That was fast!' Smaug yells in thought. 'Switched so fast!'

" 'I built a giant robot, or I guess, a giant golem. But it's no good! I can't pilot it. I tried, but nope. It felt like being tossed around inside a washing machine. But since I already built it, I'll have it guard this place or something. Oh! Gotta remember to add a self-destruct.

Parallel World Log Day 289. Time to start development on the beautiful golem girl of my dreams. But it's been nothing but failure... I mean, her thighs are hard as metal! And she can't adjust her strength! It felt like my neck was gonna snap from her rubbing my head! There was one other crucial defect. It was missing the most important feature a beautiful girl robot needs, damn it! Both the giant golem and her... The second I take my eyes off them, they go berserk! Is this their rebellious phase?' "

'This is getting weird!' Smaug yells in thought as she sweats a little.

Aqua continues to read. " 'Parallel World Log, Day 563. I'm getting back to basics. Focusing on creating something that suits my needs, with no compromises. First things first! What do I want? Am I a masochist or a sadist? Actually, let's put a pin in that for later.' "

Darkness gasps.

'I'm a sadist! Not a masochist!' Smaug says in thought.

Aqua continues to read. " 'Parallel World Log, Day 783. It's wrong! But why?! Something about the face? The hairstyle? Or is it the sculpt itself? I'm starting over from the design phase! If I start compromising now, it'd be a waste of all my efforts! By the way, I'm a masochist! Oh, crap, I'm nasty! Woo!' " Aqua turns the page and the next is covered in hairs. " 'Anyway, let's put that aside for now.' "

'This is getting very weird.' Smaug says in thought and she holds her right arm. 'And it's making me very uncomfortable.' Her tail sweat drops.

" 'Parallel World Log, Day 1,230. I've realized something. It makes sense! With my talent, I don't need to mess around with a beautiful girl golem! I'll just hook up with one of the major technological countries, then get paid and hire me a hot maid! Oh, man, I am so psyched now! To the goddess who sent me to this world, many thanks!' "

Smaug then realizes something. 'Wait. Wait... WAIT! This is the guy that made the Destroyer!'

Aqua continues to read. " 'Postscript. If anyone is reading this journal, please take care of the golems around this building. None of them listen to a thing I say, but I care about them like my own children.' 

------

"KO!" "NO!" "SU!" "BA!" "BARGHHH!" Aqua, Kazuma, Darkness and Megumin say and Smaug just pukes.

-----

"Come on, Kazuma, let's head back!" Aqua says. "Let's say we checked the place out. I've got a bad feeling about what'll happen if we open this door!"

Kazuma is at the door with the journal in his hands. He glaces back at Aqua. "What are you talking about? The journal said there's a beautiful girl golem behind this door! And there's no telling when it might run amok like that big one. Veteran adventurers like us can't just ignore something that dangerous!" He starts to put in a pass code on the keypad. 

"What's gotten into you, Kazuma?" Darkness asks. "This isn't like you."

"It's not?"

"But it's good that you've realized your responsibilities as a veteran adventurer."

"Why, thanks."

"Oh, I can't wait to see what's behind the door!" Dave says to her elf friend.

"If it's a cool golem, I call it! Dibs!" Chunnimiku swiftly says.

"What, no!" Megumin "You can't do that! This is our quest, so we get the rewards."

"But you didn't call dibs, I did. Dibs. See."

"You can't call dibs on a golem." Megumin states. "That's ridiculous." 

"Heh, Yes I can. Dibs, see." Chunnimiku says. "I just did it again."

"Smaug!" Megumin yells.

"Play nice with your friends." Smaug says.

Megumin just grumbles and crosses her arms.

"Come on!" Aqua says to Kazuma. "I can already tell you what's gonna happen next!"

"Go on, then." Kazuma says.

"Something freaky is gonna show up, Darkness is gonna squirm, I'm gonna cry, Smaug might try to eat it, and Megumin's gonna scorch everything without listening to a word you say, Kazuma! And the other two I don't really care about."

"Well, that's no good."

"And the, since this valuable location will have been wracked, we'll be stuck with the debt somehow!" Aqua claims.

"Man, cut it out." Kazuma sweats a little. "You make it sound really convincing."

"Don't be so rude, Aqua." Megumin points out. "Even I wouldn't dare cast magic in a place like this. I'd do the right thing and wait until I'm outdoors."

"Wait, what did you say?" Kazuma hits the last key in the pad and the keypad starts to glow. Then the door opens.

Inside is an empty room with a glass chamber in the middle, with a button next to it.

The party, plus two, enter the room.

"Hey, Kazuma, look!" Darkness points to the glass cylinder in the middle of the room.

"This is it..." Kazuma gains a small blush. "The beautiful girl golem created by my predecessor in this world! Yes! Behind this glass case is the dream of every man!"

Megumin stands in front of the button that would open up the glass cylinder. She goes to press it, but Kazuma puts a hand on her shoulder. 

"Hey, would you want to explain that hand on my shoulder?" Megumin asks.

"I'll do that once you tell me what you were about to do." Kazuma says.

Megumin tries to quickly push the button, but Kazuma stops her. "If there's a button, then as a Crimson Demon, I can't rest until I've pressed it, even if I know what it'll do!" Megumin keeps trying to push the button, but Kazuma is holding her arms back.

"Don't you dare! That's bound to result in the thing where whoever wakes her up gets the 'Are you my master?' question! You'd better not press it! You hear me?!"

"Osu." Chunnimiku pushes the button.

Kazuma and Megumin stare at the Crimson Demon Elf. Suddenly the glass chamber starts to open and it release smoke.

"Oooh!" Chunnimiku steps back. "This is gonna be so cool!"

"Why'd you press it?!" Kazuma yells at the Elf.

"Please don't yell at my friend." Dave calls out.

"U-Uh..." Chunnimiku foes a pose as she sweats and becomes nervous. "As a Crimson Demon, my instincts where to push it!"

"Everyone, quickly, get behind me!" Darkness yells and everyone does.

Smaug just gets behind Darkness so she can grope the crusader's ass. 

The smoke clears to reveal a beautiful girl.

"Which of you is my master?" The Golem Girl asks.

"It's me." Kazuma steps forward.

"Hey!" Chunnimiku yells. "Don't break the International Dibs Protocol."

"Seriously?!" Megumin says. "He didn't even hesitate!" 

"Yeah." Aqua agrees. "I've never seen him responds so quickly to anything!"

"She looks like a hard worker." Dave says.

"Eh, she's not my type." Smaug says.

"Shut it!" Kazuma yells back to the group. "It's every man's dream to become the master of a beautiful robot girl!"

'Not me.' Smaug states in thought.

"You are my master?" The golem girl asks and she walks forward.

"Hai." Kazuma says with a blush.

SNAP

'It has jiggle physics.' Smaug states in thought.

"Now, master..." The golem girl gives a sadistic smile. "It's time for your punishment."

'Now that's hot and scary!' Smaug yells in thought. 'What has Darkness done to me?!'

The golem girl snaps her whip at Kazuma. "Sit down!" She orders. "Down, boy! Stay! Kennel! Kennel!"

Chunnimiku hides behind Dave. "Um, you can keep her Kazuma."

'I just remember that guy said he was a Masochist.' Smaug says as she hides behind Darkness.

The golem Girl keeps snapping her whip at Kazuma. "Hey, jerk! What's up?! Squeal for me! let me hear you squeal! come on, nice and loud!"

Kazuma yells out in horror.

Darkness turns to Smaug with a blush on her face.

"No, we can't keep it!" Smaug yells at her wife. "I'm hungry now."

"The face is definitely not the problem here!" Kazuma yells.

A massive explosion goes off.

----

"I'm a masochist." Smaug states. "I'M NOT A BOTTOM EITHER!"

"Yes you are!" You say

"I can crush your head like a watermelon!" Smaug yells.

---

The party is at the guild hall, with Kazuma talking to his "Fan". Dave and Chunnimiku are back at the mansion.

Smaug, Darkness, Aqua and Megumin are sitting at a nearby tabling watching Kazuma talk to Ran, the rookie adventurer. 

"Hey, he's been bragging to that rookie adventurer about his fantasies all the time lately." Aqua says. "When in reality that crazy thing that came after us had Darkness squirming, me crying, and Smaug actually tried to eat it, and Megumin scorching everything without listening to a word he said! Plus, with the ruins destroyed, we even had to pay damages for failure to complete the quest!"

"Shh!" Megumin shushes Aqua. "Something like a fan of Kazuma's is a rare find. Leave them be. It won't be long before he messes up and she gets sick of him, anyway!"

"Indeed." Darkness agrees. "And he's bound to come back crying when that happens. Let's be kind to him when he does."

"How did someone like him even get a fan?" Smaug questions. "The Greatest Dragon Smaug is much better than scummy Kazuma! How come I don't have a fan? I should create a book about my adventures in this world!" She then just lays her head on the table. "Ah, but who would read that?"

.

.

.

Kazuma is leaving and he spots Ran talking to Luna. Ran seems to be arguing with Luna. "Some kind of argument? Since she's my first fan, I guess a veteran adventurer like me should help her out." He starts to walk over to them.

"I swear..." Ran starts and Kazuma stops. "I heard this was going to be an easy job, just motivating some NEET, but it's not worth what it's paying anymore! He chases me down every day and repeats the same stories! The other adventurers are starting to say I have terrible taste in men! Couldn't you have at least assigned me to Smaug, I heard she's a cool person and is nothing like Kazuma. I would've like to meet the most powerful Dragon Slayer in the world. You gotta pay me extra for this!"

"I understand your complaints, but you were made aware of all this when you accepted such a high-paying job." Luna says. "That party's quite troublesome, but they've managed some real accomplishments. Too many to let them just sit idle."

"I get that, but that doesn't mean I should have to..."

The two females notice Kazuma just off to the side of them. The party is off to the side watching.

The four girls are trying not to laugh.

But Aqua laughs. "Look at that! Kazuma's quaking!"

Smaug then laughs and her tail is amused. "I knew someone couldn't like him!"

"Come on, don't laugh at him!" Megumin says, while trying not to laugh. "This is even worse than getting sick of him! she was leading him on the whole time!"

Darkness lets out a low chuckle. "W-Well, let's all be kind to him when he gets back..." She then laughs.

"Oh, um, Satou Kazuma-san!" Luna greets. "It's not what you think! See, it was a request from the higher-ups at the Guild... It's just... y'know, Kazuma-san, I've always thought you, um..."

Ran then speaks. "I just accepted the request, so... But, uh, what I said about admiring you was true, so..."

"You're sorta kinda okay, you know?" Ran and Luna say together. 

Kazuma looks up with tears in his eyes. "Steal!"

"NO!" Luna and Ran scream out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

04-04-2023

6730 words