(WELCOME BACK! I hope you're ready for an interesting movie that's be split into three parts. Now don't forget Smaug's voice actors are Colleen Clinkenbeard for dub and Sayaka Ohara for sub. (Erza from FairyTail.) Dave's voice actors are Cherami Leigh for dub and Aya Hirano for sub. (Lucy from Fairy tail.) Chunnimiku's voice actors are Brittney Karbowski for dub and Satomi Sato for sub. (Wendy from fairy tail.)

(Once I do this movie I'm gonna do Isekai Quartet or  Konosuba -An Explosion on This Wonderful World! The Megumin spin-off ,which I really need to finish watching, where Chunnimiku will be the main character.)

(So who's ready for some Action! Fan Service! Jiggle Physics! And a lot of stupid comedy! SO HERE WE GO!)

A couple goat graze on the grass on the country side, a mountain range pierces the sky in the background. It's all peaceful and calm as a soft breeze blows. The clouds flow through the sky like water and birds sing their songs.

A Giant Toad hops into view and stops a few meters from the goats. It croaks a few times before it's tongue shoots out and wraps around one of the goats, then the goat is brought back into it's mouth.

The second goat runs away as the toad starts to eat the goat in its mouth. A large pillar of magic shines in the distance. Then an explosion goes off and a large cloud of smoke rises, a few seconds later the sound of the explosion reaches the toad and it looks towards where it came from.

Capture Quest

Collect Migrating Tuna

QUEST FAILED!

Smaug, Darkness, Aqua and Megumin pour water on themselves before they take a bath.

.

.

That night in the guild the party is sitting in silence at a table, all downcast from failing their quest.

"Did you hear?" An Adventurer asks his friends. "Starting next year, there won't be any more tuna."

"Some crazy mage screwed up the entire landscape." Another Adventurer tells his friends. 

"I always look forward to tuna season..."

"Zero points." Kazuma says.

"WHAT?!" Megumin yells as she looks up at Kazuma. "Come on, today's Explosion magic was worth at least 120 points!"

Kazuma slams his fists into the table and yells. "It was worth nothing, and that's being generous! You let lose an Explosion because you thought a monster was going to take our tuna?!"

"What's the point if you blow up the fish, too?!" Kazuma yells.

Kazuma continues to yell. "Would it kill you to learn some other advanced magic already?!" He grits his teeth in anger.

"Kazuma, that's going too far." Darkness states.

Kazuma points at Darkness. "You reek of fish." Darkness moans.

"As soon as we got on the water, they were gnawing on you!" Kazuma states.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad." Smaug speaks up.

Kazuma then points at Smaug. "You were the worst!"

We see Smaug standing on the ship holding a tuna by the tail in each hand, with flames coming out of her mouth. Part of the ship is on fire as Smaug is heard laughing.

"You nearly burned down the boat!" Kazuma yells. "WHO EVEN USES A FISH AS A SWORD!"

Aqua then speaks up. "Hey, are we in debt again now?" She grabs Kazuma's shoulder. "What are we gonna do?!" She starts to shake him. "I don't wanna work part-time anymore!"

She starts to cry, Darkness is hugging herself as she moans, Smaug is drinking some beer, and Megumin is blushing as she looks at her Adventurer Card.

'The arch priest who makes everything a pain.' Kazuma says in thought. 'The arch wizard who makes everything go to waste. The dragon slayer who's horny and hungry non-stop. And the crusader who makes everything smell like wild game. It seems my adventure with these useless comrades is headed for its climax!'

Kazuma tries to push Aqua away as she clings onto him, crying.

"Isn't stealing underwear the only thing he's good at?" A female adventurer asks her friends. 

Kazuma glances over and sees a group of women staring at him. 

"He's the kind of scumbag who'd dropkick a woman without a second thought!" A female Elf whispers.  

Then the females start to chant. "Scumzuma! Scumzuma! Scaumzuma!"

Kazuma starts to cry as he turns away. 'If this was an anime or a video game, I'd probably have some romantic interests by now...'

"Women." Smaug laughs, until she notices Darkness glaring at her, then she stops and sips on her beer.

Suddenly the doors to the guild slam open and Yunyun, with Chunnimiku behind her, stand in the doorway.

Yunyun swiftly makes her way towards the parties table.

"Miss Yunyun, think this through." Chunnimiku says as she walks beside Yunyun, her twitch a couple times. "With him, it's worse than death!"

The two Crimson Demons reach the parties table.

"Hey, it's Yunyun and Miku." Kazuma observes. "What's got you two looking so intense?"

Yunyun has a small blush. "K-Kazuma-san..."

"Uh, yeah?"

"I... I... I want to have your baby!" Yunyun shouts with a bigger blush.

Chunnimiku sighs an facepalms. Smaug continues to sip her beer for a few seconds, before choking on it and dropping her drink. She starts to beat on her chest as she coughs.

Kazuma gains a smug look. 'And this begins my popular phase!'

Smaug's face turns blue as she falls backwards, gasping for air. Her tail raises up into the air before falling down.

A Dragon's Blessing on this Wonderful Word!
Legend of Crimson
(Kono subarashii sekai ni syukufuku wo!
Legend of Crimson)

Back at the mansion Aqua is playing cards at the dinner table, with Dave sitting across from her, watching. Chomusuke walks along the table and sits next to Aqua's card field.

Aqua slams a card onto the table, only for Chomusuke to scratch her hand. Aqua yelps then yells at the cat, with the anime nashing her teeth at the goddess. "Why'd you scratch me?!"

Darkness is sitting on a nearby couch, with Smaug laying on her side with her head on the Crusader's lap, passed out. Darkness rubs her hands through Smaug's soft and silky hair. Chunnimiku stands behind the couch.

Kazuma and Yunyun stand in front of the fireplace.

"Could you say that again for me?" Kazuma asks.

Yunyun blushes. "I-I said I want to have a baby with you!"

Kazuma gains a smug smile as he brings a hand to his chin. "I've always wanted to start with a daughter...

"N-No! The first child has to be a boy!"

'I thought she was on the meek side, but she actually knows how to speak her mind!' Kazuma thinks in surprise. 

Megumin walks over to Yunyun. "What is wrong with you, Yunyun?!"

Aqua is now holding up Chomusuke as she yells at the cat. Dave is trying to calm the situation.

"Do you realize what kind of man he is?!" Darkness calls out.

Chunnimiku walks over to Yunyun. "I've heard horrible rumor's about him!"

Megumin shakes Yunyun. "You need to snap out of it! What in the world's gotten into you?

Yunyun glances between Chunnimiku and Megumin. "If Kazuma and I don't have a baby, the world will... And the Devil King..."

"The Devil King?" Megumin and Chunnimiku questions.

"I see. The fate of the world, huh?" Kazuma asks and he grabs Yunyun's shoulders. "It's all right, dear. You can leave the world and the Devil King to me." He starts to sparkle. "Once we have this baby, the Devil King will be dealt with and the world saved, right? How could I possibly refuse someone in need?"

"B-But you always try to get out of monster extermination quests!" Darkness points out.

"Seriously!" Megumin shouts.

"Don't listen to him!" Chunnimiku yells.

"SHUT IT!" Kazuma yells, then he turns around and glares at the three girls. "Keep your noses out of our relationship, got it?! I'm finally in my popular phase! So buzz off! This time I get the girls, Smaug always does so it's my turn!"

The three girls get deadfish eyes.

"He's mad at us?" Megumin asks and she returns to normal. "But if an acquaintance of mine is getting involved with a shady guy, it's only natural that I'd speak up!" She grits her teeth at Kazuma.

Chunnimiku shakes her head and returns to normal. "And it'd be wrong for Miss Yunyun to be with someone like you!" She grits her teeth at Kazuma and Darkness does the same as she snaps back to reality. 

"C-Calm down, everyone!" Yunyun speaks up. "I'm sorry! This is my fault! Please, just calm down!"

Kazuma spins around and throws his arms up. "Wonderful! Magnificent! Stupendous! For the first time ever, I'm glad I came to this world!" He then lowers his arms and smugly smiles. "And what is with you three? Do you secretly like me or something?" The three girls become shocked as Kazuma continues to mock them. "Are you jealous because of my romantic developments with Yunyun? Then you should've just said so, you tsundere trio!"

"How dare you?!" Megumin shouts in anger.

"I would never!" Chunnimiku shouts in anger. 

"Why would anyone be jealous about that?!"

"Megumin, the Crimson Demon Village..." Yunyun starts. "The Crimson Demon Village is going to be wiped out!"

Everyone freezes.

Smaug snorts and wakes up. "Uh, what'd I miss?"

----

"KONOSUBA!" Chunnimiku and Dave yell.

---

Everyone is sitting at the dinner table, except Aqua. Aqua sets a cup of hot water in front of Yunyun.

"Your tea." Aqua states, even though she accidentally purified it.

"Th-Thank you..." Yunyun stutters.

Aqua walks over to her seat.

"Now, what exactly is going on?" Megumin asks.

Yunyun pulls out a couple pieces of paper and sets them on the table. "I got this letter from my father..."

Megumin picks up the papers and reads them out loud. "'By the time you receive this letter, I will surely have passed on.'" She grips the paper and reads it closer. Everyone else let's out a little gasp, except the two other Crimson Demons. "It says the Crimson Demon Village is under attack by the Devil King's forces." Megumin reads the second piece of paper. "'A fortune-teller saw a future where the village would be devastated... But they also saw a light of hope. The light was the only survivor of the Crimson Demons, Yunyun.' How is she the only survivor?"

"Forget that, just keep reading!" Yunyun says.

"But what happened to me?!"

Chunnimiku nods her head, her ears jiggling as she does. "I want to know about me too?!"

Megumin continues reading the letter. "'As the only survivor, she would meet a certain man in the town of beginners. This man, though unremarkable-" She looks at Kazuma. "-and with no special power, will become her spouse.'" 

"Why'd you look at me after reading that?" Kazuma asks and he slams his fists on the table as he looks at Yunyun. "And was that seriously all it took to convince you it was me?!"

"It does sound like you." Smaug points out.

"Shut up!" Kazuma yells at Smaug.

"That's not nice Kazuma." Dave frowns.

Megumin continues reading the letter. "'Then, as time passes, the son born to her and this man would go on a journey. But the boy did not know... that he would be the one to avenge his clan and slay the Devil King...'" Megumin sweats.

Dave, Smaug, Darkness and Aqua all gasp.

Kazuma gasps then starts to sweat. "O-Our little boy's gonna beat the Devil King?!"

Darkness stands up. "wait a second, Kazuma!"

Smaug's tail shoots up. "But I want to be the one to kick the Devil King's ass!"

Aqua stands up. "Hey, that doesn't work for me! That seriously isn't gonna cut it! I can't wait that long! I want the Devil King defeated as soon as possible! Do you really expect me to wait until your kid grows up?! Can't we wrap this up in three years or so?" She then waves her arms around. "Because if not, then I want you to forget about this prophecy!"

"You seriously want a toddler to take on the Devil King?" Kazuma asks.

"Our village has very skilled fortune-tellers." Yunyun informs. "So..." She just looks down and blushes.

Kazuma stands up. "I understand. In that case, you can count on me." He walks over to Yunyun and puts his arm over her shoulder. "It's to save the world. It must be done."

Darkness blushes. "I-I can't believe you!" She hits the table with her hands. "You're usually so wishy-washy! Why the sudden streak of manliness?!"

"Shut up!" Kazuma yells. "Stop talking, boobs!"

"Boobs?!"

Megumin unfolds a corner of the letter and reads some hidden info.

"He finally gets the chance to be laid." Smaug sighs. "He ain't doing it for the world."

"Scumzuma." Dave mutters. "Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't very nice of me."

"It's just having a kid!" Kazuma shouts. "Or is that a crime now?!"

Megumin then reads out loud. "'Heroic Tales of the Crimson Demons, Chapter 1. Written by Arue.'

Yunyun dies on the inside.

Yunyun starts to cry as she screams out in embarrassment. She grabs the papers and crumbles them up, then throws them on the ground. She falls to her knees, grabbing her head. "Arue, you BAKA!"

"Oh, it makes so much more sense now." Chunnimiku nods her head.

"Wait, what does that mean?!" Kazuma asks. "Explain! What happens to my kid?! What do I do?!" he starts to take off his pants. "Do I strip here? Or in my room?!"

Dave covers her eyes with a blush.

"Not in front of the Explosive Loli!" Smaug covers Megumin's eyes.

Megumin CALMY removes Smaug's hand and speaks. "Arue is a classmate of ours from the village who wants to be an author."

"So it was just a story, then..." Darkness says. "But what about that first letter?"

Megumin grabs one of the crinkled papers from the ground. "I believe this one is genuine. The Crimson Demons have been a thorn in the side of the Devil King's army for a long time."

"Wait, hold up!" Kazuma yells. "What do I do about my masculine obligation now?!" He leans down to Yunyun, who is crying. "Hey, Yunyun? Aren't we supposed to start a bittersweet relationship now?"

"You are not!" Darkness yells.

"Megumin, sweety?" Smaug calls out. "Shouldn't you be worried about your village? Why are you so calm?"

"And shouldn't you be too, Miku?" Dave asks the Elf.

Chunnimiku sweat drops. "Well..."

Aqua walks over to Kazuma and pulls his pants up.

"Th-That's right!" Yunyun looks up, then runs over to Megumin. "What should we do, Megumin?!"

Megumin lowers the letter. "The Crimson Demons are feared by the Devil King for a reason. I have a hard time believing our village will go down without a fight." She looks away. "Besides, as long as the chief's daughter, Yunyun, is safe, we won't die out, even if the village is destroyed. So we need only think of it in these terms: 'Our friends from the village will always live on... in our hearts.'"

Yunyun grabs Megumin's shirt and shakes her. "Megumin, you monster!"

"I think they'll be fine." Chunnimiku says. "My sister's probably back home, but we still should go there."

---

"Konosuba!" Ruby chuckles.

----

Yunyun bows as she stands outside the mansion doors. "I am so, so sorry!"

The party, plus Dave and Chunnimiku and minus Darkness, stand in front of her.

Kazuma puts his hand up. "H-Hey, it's no big deal. But what are you gonna do?"

Yunyun straightens up. "Well, I think I'll head back to the village. I have... f-friends... there."

Aqua, Kazuma and Smaug deadpan.

'I don't really think she has any friends back home.' Smaug says in thought.

"Everyone, if you'll excuse me." Yunyun walks off.

Smaug yawns. "Now that's over. Time for bed."

Everyone else nods. 

"Yeah, we'll be pretty busy tomorrow." Kazuma says.

"Where's Darkness?" Aqua questions.

Smaug shrugs her shoulders as she walks inside. "Probably off doing Darkness things."

Smaug yawns as she heads upstairs and towards her and Darkness' room. Smaug opens the door to her room and finds it empty.

"Huh?" Smaug walks into the room. "I'd thought she'd be in bed at least."

Suddenly the door shuts and it locks. Smaug sweats a little as she turns around to find Darkness' undressing.

"You, bed now." Darkness orders as she breathes heavily. "I want a baby and we're making one." She walks over to Smaug

Smaug backs up as a wild and horny Darkness walks towards her. "D-Darkness, we should wait until-" She backs up into the bed and falls onto it. "-we defeat-"

Darkness climbs onto Smaug and straddles her and leans down close. "I said we're have sex, and you can't say no." She stares into Smaug's eyes.

Smaug gains a massive blush. "Yes, ma'am."

.

.

.

The next morning the party, Plus Dave and Chunnimiku are at Wiz's shop. Smaug is wearing her adventure gear.

"Teleporting?" Wiz questions. "You need me to send you near the Crimson Demon Village, then?"

"Yeah, the tsundere, along with tsundere two, here feel homesick." Kazuma motions to Megumin, with Chomusuke sleeping inside her shirt, and Chunnimiku.

"Wh-Who are you calling a tsundere?!" Megumin yells at Kazuma.

"Yeah, I'm no tsundere!" Chunnimiku yells.

"Yeah, she's more of a Hajidere." Dave states. "And Smaug's a Nyandere!"

"No, I'm not." Smaug pouts as she crosses her arms. A beam of light shines on the ground and she purrs as her eyes snap to it.

"Well, look who it is!" Vanir's voice rings out and he walks into the room. "The man with the easiest-to-level class, who somehow still manages to be under-leveled! The girl who's been useless as of late, except at calling in familiar favors! The Dragon who is the strongest in town, yet still gets her butt kicked all the time! The small-time priest who's overflowing with obnoxious light, and the girl from the joke race who can only use joke magic! Welcome, all!"

Vanir turns to Kazuma. "I was actually hoping to run into you. I've drawn up our little contract."

Kazuma slides over to Vanir and whispers. "You're really gonna go through with this, right?"

"But of course! I'll buy the rights to Satou Kazuma's intellectual property library for 300 million eris."

Kazuma nods. "O-Okay!"

Megumin, Darkness and Smaug sit at a table and Wiz serves them tea. Dave and Chunnimiku look at several items on the walls, and Aqua is looking at some items as well and she grabs one.

Vanir continues. "That said, my debt-ridden fellow, the deal hasn't been completed yet. I haven't settled on a craftsman to build the products you've dreamed up."

Aqua opens up a jar and sniffs its contents. "Hey, man!" Vanir yells at her, which causes her to panic and drops the jar, it shatters on the floor. "Hands off the merchandise, you walking blight!"

"Excuse me?!" Aqua shouts. "I thought the customer was always right! And I'm a goddess, so I'm extra right! So show me the respect a goddess deserves!"

"Then where's my respect!" Smaug shouts from the side.

"Shut it you stupid dragon!"

"How dare you try and lecture me after damaging my merchandise, you poverty-stricken goddess?!" Vanir yells at the Blue Thing.

"I wonder if this happens a lot?" Chunnimiku sweatdrops.

"Wiz, transport them out of here immediately!"

----

"So irritating!" Vanir yells.

---

The party, plus the extra two, stand outside. Kazuma has a cloth full of supplies over his back.

"Okay, I'll send you to the vicinity of the Crimson Demon Village now." Wiz says Aqua and Vanir scowl at each other. "I wish you a wonderful journey and experience." She holds a hand up. "Teleport!"

"Bleeeh!" Aqua sticks her tongue out at Vanir as a purple circle appears below the seven.

They all give Wiz a thumbs up. "We're off!" Kazuma says. They disappear. 

Wiz then lets out a sound.

"What is it?" Vanir asks.

Wiz put a finger on her chin. "Isn't the Crimson Demon Village near..."

The party teleports in on a country side. And a loud boom is heard, not caused by Megumin.

Emergency Quest!!

Survive! Defend Yourselves!!

Kazuma screams and tears fall from his eyes as he runs from an army of female Orcs. "Where the hell did you teleport us, Wiz?!" He looks back and screams as the orcs get closer.

"Hold it right there!" A love struck Orc yells.

"Hey there, handsome!" Another love struck Orc yells. "Wanna have some fun with me?

"Why is there a mob of lady orcs?!"  Kazuma yells.

Smaug, Darkness, Chunnimiku, Megumin, Aqua and Dave all run behind the Orc mob.

Boing
Boing
Boing
Boing

"Kazuma, there aren't any male orcs left in the world!" Megumin yells out and Darkness gasps. "They were wiped out ages ago! And on the rare occasion that one is born, they're usually overworked by the females and die before they can fully mature! The surviving females orcs are known for capturing males of other races, dragging them back to their communities, and doing all kinda of crazy stuff to them! They're natural-born predators of men!"

Smaug sweats. "So glad I'm not male anymore."

An orc yells to Kazuma. "Come spend a few days in our village and you'll have a harem, baby! We'll give you a taste of heaven on earth!"

"No, thank you!" Kazuma screams. 'I just turned down a lady's invitation for the first time!'

Smaug looks to Chunnimiku, who's ears are flopping up and down as she runs. "Can't you freeze them or something!"

"I can't! My spell would freeze Kazuma too!" Chunnimiku shouts.

"Can't you tone it down, then?!"

"That would be the toned down version!

"What?!"

"Umu! I was born with a curse that makes my Ice Magic more powerful than it should be!" Chunnimiku shouts.

"What the f-!"

"Don't yell at her, Smaug!" Dave yells. "It's not her fault."

Smaug rolls her eyes.

'Hnnn, it's just like all those years ago.' Chunnimiku says in thought.

"Wait!" Darkness shouts. "Orcs are supposed to be the natural predators of lady knights!" She looks at Smaug with a smile. "Male orcs! Renowned for their libido, attacking women the second they see them!"

"Don't bring me into that kind of fantasy!" Smaug yells.

"They're all dead." Megumin informs.

Darkness looses all light in here eyes and she falls backwards, hitting the ground and sent rolling.

"Darkness!" Aqua yells.

"Honey!" Smaug yells. "Now's not the time to be sad about losing a fantasy!"

"How can one person be so... perverted?" Chunnimiku mutters.

The orcs continue to shout to Kazuma. "I'm gonna have your babies!"

"No, me!"

"I think I'd like a son first! And then 60 boys, and 40 girls! We'll move into a white house by the sea and spend every day all over each other!"

"Let me go!" Kazuma screams. "I just wanna go home!"

Suddenly a pink orcs tackles Kazuma.

"Kazuma!" The girls scream in horror.

Kazuma falls onto his back with the Orc girl on top of him.

"Okay, this won't take long!" The orc states. "Just close your eyes!" She starts to lick him.

"Save me, Megumin!" Kazuma yells. "Do the thing! The thing you always do!"

"I can't use it at this range!" Megumin shouts.

"Well, he's gonna die by Snu Snu." Smaug shrugs her shoulders.

Dave salutes. "He fought the hard fight.

Chunnimiku just stares at the two dragons with an unpleased look. "I should just freeze everyone here and go home." She mutters.

"Darkness, stop being depressed!" Megumin shouts.

"Can we talk?!" Kazuma yells to the Orc girl on top of him. "Let's talk!"

"Pillow talk?!" The Orc Girl drools. "I'd love to!"

"Go ahead and tell me all the dirtiest fantasies you've kept bottled up!" The Orc girl licks her lips. Then she takes off Kazuma's pants and he screams. The other Orcs cheer.

"P-Please stop!" Kazuma shouts. "Wait, your name! I don't even know your name or age yet! This might be my first time! Can we maybe start with introductions?! I'm Satou Kazuma!"

"I'm Swatti the orc, and I'm a sweet 16-years-old!" The Orc yells.

'Good thing we aren't in America.' Smaug says in thought. 'He'd be in jail by now.'

Swatti stats to slap Kazuma's thighs. "Now, how about you introduce me to what you've got down here? Let me meet your big little boy!"

"You're not missing much!" Smaug yells.

"But he's so shy!" Kazuma yells to Swatti as the other orcs take off the rest of his clothes. "We made our introductions, so could we call it a wrap for today?! Aqua! Aqua, save me!"

"Bottomless Swamp!" Yunyun's voice yells out.

Purple magic surrounds the orcs around Kazuma, and they sink into the magic. Swatti panics as she sees her friends disappear. 

"Orcs who live near the Crimson Demon Village!" Yunyun yells. "I'm willing to overlook this because we're neighbors! Now, begone!"

"Yunyun!" Kazuma yells in happiness. "It's Yunyun!" Swatti climbs off him as he starts to cry.

The girls, minus Darkness, run to the egde of the bottomless swap. 

"Kazuma!" Megumin yells.

"Kazuma-san!" Aqua yells.

"You're not dead!" Smaug shouts.

The bottomless swamp disappears and all the orcs run away.

"Yeah, get out of my swamp!" Dave laughs.

Kazuma crawls over to Yunyun. "Yunyun! Oh, Yunyun!" He hugs said girl, still half naked. "Dōmo arigatōgozaimasu!"

"it's all right, don't worry." Yunyun says, Kazuma blows his nose into her robe. "Um... Y-You're covering my robe in snot!" She lets out a cry as Kazuma continues to blow his nose into her robe.

Quest Failed

Kazuma was Psychologically scared

The party is resting in a forest. Kazuma has his head on Aqua's lap as he suckles his thumb, Aqua is petting his head. 

Darkness leans against Smaug as she watches the two, Chomusuke is in her arms. Smaug's tail is wrapped around one of Darkness' legs.

Dave has her tongue stuck to a large block of ice as Chunnimiku watches with a sweat drop. Yunyun and Megumin are sitting nearby.

A breeze blows making the area around them cool down from the ice block.

"There, there." Aqua says in a soft tone. "That was scary, wasn't it, Kazuma? You're okay now, though, It's all right."

"What exactly happened while I was passed out?" Darkness asks. "We only just started this journey."

"I am so grateful, Yunyun." Kazuma states. "To be specific, from now on, if anyone asks me, 'Who do you look up to?' I'm going to answer 'Yunyun!' right away."

"P-Please don't do that!" Yunyun pleads. "It almost sounds sarcastic! What are you all doing here, anyway? Megumin, were you worried about the village after all?"

Megumin is silent for a few seconds. "Chunnimiku was homesick." 

"You just won't admit it! You really are worried about everyone! Aren't you?"

Megumin stands up. "Kazuma, would you like to hear an embarrassing secret about Yunyun? We Crimson Demons are born with a tattoo somewhere on our bodies." Kazuma smiles and blushes. "And in the case of Yunyun, if you can believe it..."

Yunyun stands up and panics. "Hey, cut it out! How do you even know where my tattoo is?! Miku's is in a more embarrassing place anyway."

Chunnimiku blushes and the tips of her ears glow red as they wiggle. "Please don't say anything more about that!"

Yunyun points at Megumin. "You can't use your joke Explosion magic around here, anyway! So I can easily restrain you if I have to!"

Megumin turns to Yunyun as she holds her hand to the side and motions for Aqua. "Aqua, I need support magic." She gets into a karate position. "I think this girl needs to be taught a painful lesson."

Yunyun panics. "Y-You coward! You never play fair, Megumin! Never once, ever!"

"Hey, over here!" An ugly voice echoes through the forest. "I hear human voices!"

Everyone quiets down and hide. They look through the bushes their in to see three Goblins, ranging in various sizes, walking out from a hedge.

"Do you suppose they're with the Devil King's army?" Megumin asks with a whisper. Then she glances back at Yunyun. "This is because of your short temper and shouting, Yunyun!"

"But Megumin, you've got a shorter fuse than me!" Yunyun whispers.

Megumin pulls on Yunyun's cheeks. "Say that again!"

Chunnimiku puffs her cheeks out. "This is both your faults!" Suddenly Megumin pushes her in the face.

"Shut up!"

Chunnimiku pushes back.

Darkness glances at the three Crimson Demons and whispers. "Enough, you three! If you're too loud, they'll find us." She turns to Smaug and Kazuma. "Smaug, Kazuma, say something!"

"Hey, who gives a damn?!" Kazuma yells loudly. "Tell me where Yunyun's tattoo is!"

"Kazuma, not so loud!" Smaug also yells loudly. "They'll hear us!"

"Found them!" A small goblin yells. "They're over here! They were hiding in the bushes!"

Darkness grabs Kazuma and shakes him. "What in the world is wrong with you?!"

"Why aren't you yell at Smaug!" Kazuma yells.

Smaug gives a thumbs up with a smug smirk. "Favoritism!" 

---

"There's even Crimson Demon brats here too!" A Goblin says.

----

The party readies for actions as the Goblin's snicker to themselves. Aqua then walks past everyone, while cracking her knuckles.  The Goblins grow confused.

Aqua takes a deep breath, then starts mocking the Goblins. "Well, if it isn't a bunch of discount, wannabe demons! Oh, may! What might a bunch of ogre-looking wash-outs who couldn't even cut it as lesser demons want with us?"

"That's not nice, even if they're our enemies." Dave states.

Smaug laughs and points at the Goblins "That's fucking hilarious!"

Aqua then snickers. "Look, I'll let you walk away this once time, so scram." She waves her hands at them. "Go on, get!"

Suddenly many more goblins appear behind the three.

"Well, fuck me sideways." Smaug mutters.

"Later~" Darkness whispers, causing Smaug to blush.

Then the smallest Goblin starts to mock Aqua. "Hey, priest lady, what gives? The Crimson Demons put us through hell, and you've got two of them! You really think we're gonna just let them walk?!"

Yunyun goes to walk forward, but Megumin stops her. Her eyes start to shine. "I seem to recall you saying my magic is a joke." she then waves her staff around. "Perhaps I should remind you of just how serious it can be."

Chunnimiku's eyes shine as she twirls her staff. "If these guys want to pick a fight, then a fight they'll get."

Both girls start to cast magic.

"W-Wait a second..." Yunyun stutters. "You're not gonna..."

Megumin points her staff forward. "Explosion!"

Chunnimiku points her staff forward. "Rime's Binding Ice!"

A bright flash of white envelopes everyone's vision. A massive explosion goes off and a massive ice berg appears.

Everyone's laying in a large crater as massive chunks of ice are strung about.

"Did you see that?!" Megumin yells. "My ultimate spell, Explosion magic! Well, would you still call that a joke spell?! How about it, Kazuma?! What score would you give that Explosion?!"

"You get negative 90 points!" Kazuma yells.

Dave, completely stuck inside a large block of ice, slides past the group.

"A little help." Smaug calls out as the lower half of her body is stuck in ice. "My coochie is cold."

Chunnimiku lays face down on the ground, then lifts her head up and coughs out some smoke. "Too much, Megumin."

"What now?!" Kazuma yells at Megumin. "Because we're in no condition to carry you away now!"

A surviving Goblin stands up as he sweats. A large piece of ice crashes down behind him. "H-H-Holy crap, that was scary..." A large army of Goblins appear behind him. "But now my reinforcements are here. Say your prayers, people!"

Kazuma panics as he sits up.

"Time to cry and beg for mercy, not that it's gonna help!" The Goblin yells and the army runs him over.

The Goblin army seems to be running from something.

Kazuma helps Megumin up as Smaug bursts into flames and the ice slowly melts away. Chunnimiku stands up, her clothes covered in black soot, she lets out a nervous chuckle as she spots the goblin army.

Suddenly four purple strings of light shine down and four Crimson Demons appear in front of the party. The goblin army stops and panics.

"Not even a scrap of flesh will remain!" A Crimson Demon poses. "The dark flame born from my ebon heart will scorch you!"

Another Crimson Demon poses. "Slumber for eternity in the frozen embrace of my ice!"

A Crimson Demon walks towards the Goblins, then does a pose. "I... kill... you."

Another Crimson Demon does a pose. "Now... it is born!"

"Aw, crap!" A goblin screams.

"Light of Saber!"

"Light of Saber!"

"...Saber!"

"...ber!"

All four Crimson Demons cast Light of Saber. Smaug's jaw drops at the intensity of the attacks.

'These are my kinda people!' Smaug smiles.

'Wait, what happened to the dark flames and frozen embraces?' Kazuma questions. 'No doubt about it, thought.' The Crimson demons finish off the Goblin army. 'Those red eyes...'

One of the Crimson Demons looks at the party. "We heard an explosion in the distance... then saw the massive iceberg... and here we find Megumin, Chunnimiku and Yunyun."

The party gets off the ground, Chunnimiku is melt Dave out of the ice block with the help of Smaug.

"We were told that the village might be in danger." Megumin says. The four Crimson Demons grow confused.

The the rest of the party grow confused.

"I'm confused." Dave says with a smile as she falls out of her ice imprisonment. 

"I'm curious, Megumin. Are these people your adventuring party?" A Crimson Demon asks. Megumin nods and he nods back.

"I am called Bukkororii!" His eyes shine and throws his arms out. "The son of the foremost cobbler among the Crimson Demons! Arch Wizard, and wielder of advanced magic!"

Kazuma walks over to him. "Hey there. I'm called Satou Kazuma." He does several poses. "From my home in Axel, I have mastered countless skills and used them to battle the Devil King's generals."

Smaug walks up and covers one of her eyes as her tail slithers around her. "I'm called Smaug Dustiness!" She swipes her arms in front of her. "I am the master Dragon Slayer and the great Chaos Demi-God!" She points at Bukkororii. "You better remember my name or they'll be hell to pay!" She finishes out with a pose.

The four Crimson Demons gasp in happiness.

"No outsider has been able to properly return a greeting before!" Bukkororri smiles. "Megumin, your friends seem really nice.

Megumin looks away in embarrassment, and Yunyun chuckles. Chunnimiku smiles.

"The village is still some distance away." Bukkororri informs. "Let us take you there." He throws his hand up. "Teleport!"

The group disappears. 

.

.

The party looks around in amazement. 

"Welcome to the Crimson Demon Village, outsiders." Bukkororii says. "And it's good to have you back, Megumin, Chunnimiku, Yunyun."

The party is lead towards Yunyun's house.

"Oh, Oh! Which on is yours Miku!" Dave smiles as she looks around.

Chunnimiku sighs as points to a large house that has a massive ice crystal in the back of it. "T-That one."

"Rich girl." Megumin mutters.

"Hey, my parents do a lot of hard work for their butcher business, why it's the best in town!" 

Yunyun chuckles.

.

.

.

The party sits across from Yunyun's father.

"D-Dad? Could you repeat that?" Yunyun asks.

Yunyun's father laughs and rubs the back of his head. "That was just me sending you an update!"

"Um, sir, what exactly do you mean?" Kazuma asks.

"But it said, 'By the time you receive this letter, I will surely have passed on.'" Yunyun says.

"That's the traditional Crimson Demon greeting!" Yunyun's father says.

"But you said you wouldn't be able to destroy the Devil King's fortress!"

"Yeah." Yunyun's father nods. "The village can't decide whether to destroy it or leave it as a tourist attraction."

"Yunyun, can I punch your dad in the face?" Kazuma asks.

"I was worried for nothing." Chunnimiku sighs.

"Go ahead." Yunyun responds to Kazuma.

"Yunyun?!" Her father yells.

"If the Devil King's army is nearby, then is a general..." Darkness starts.

"Sure, there's one with them." Yunyun's father says. "Strong with magic, I believe. Should be showing up anytime now."

Suddenly a voice rings out through the town. "Devil King Army alert. Anyone available, please assemble at the entrance of the village. The enemy force numbers around 1,000."

"A thousand?!" Kazuma and Darkness yell.

Smaug smiles and slams her fists together. "Then it's a fair fight."

Dave sweat drops. "I think that's a little much, even for you."

Devil King Forces Approaching!

The goblins are being decimated by the Crimson Demons. They don't even stand a chance, being killed just as they walk onto the battlefield. 

"Holy shit..." Smaug mutters as she watches the carnage. 

"This is awesome!" Dave watches in awe.

"This is... so impressive, it's freaky, honestly." Kazuma states.

Yunyun's father motions to the battlefield. "What do you think? We've been wondering if the light show might attract tourists!"

---

"Konosuba..." Chunnimiku yawns.

---

The party, minus Dave and Chunnimiku, they went to Miku's house, are walking to Megumin's house. Megumin's on Kazuma's back. Darkness is carrying Megumin's staff and Chomusuke.

"So, those are real Crimson Demons, huh?" Kazuma asks.

"They were so cool!" Smaug laughs.

"When you put it that way, it makes it sound like you know a fake one." Megumin says and she roughly puts a hand on Kazuma's head. "Why don't you explain exactly what you mean by that?" She starts to roughly rub Kazuma's head.

"Hey, Megumin, is that your stale?" Aqua points to a rundown house in front of them.

"That's not a stable." Megumin corrects. "It's the house."

The party walks up to the house and Kazuma lightly knocks on the door. The door opens to reveal Megumin's little sister, Komekko. She stares up at Megumin and Kazuma.

"Is this your little sister, Megumin?" Kazuma asks. "She's pretty cute!"

"That's the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Smaug states.

"It's like having a mini Megumin!" Aqua walks up to Komekko and kneels down, holding out a piece of candy. "Hey, want some candy?"

"I'm back, Komekko." Megumin smiles.

Komekko takes a deep breath.

Komekko turns around and screams. "DAD! Megumin's back, and she's snared a man!" She runs further into the house.

Kazuma throws his hand out. "Hey, little missy! Could we perhaps discuss this?!"

----

"KONOSUPRA!" Dave yells.

"Is that a Supra!" Other Dave yells.

"Yooo!" Another Dave yells in the distance. "IS THAT A SUPRA!"

"IT'S A SUPRA!" Dave yells.

-----

Kazuma awkwardly knees in front of Megumin's parents, a table between them. The rest of the party is sitting off to the side.

Hyoizaburoo clears his throat.

'What do I do?' Kazuma questions in thought. 'The one who's supposed to smooth a situation like this over is...' He looks to the side and sees Megumin, sleeping with drool falling from the corner of her mouth.

'Damn you!'

Aqua sets a cup on the table, which is full of water. Komekko watches with curiosity.

"Look at this!" Aqua moves her hand around and the cup moves on top of the table. "See how the mug moves around once I've flipped it over?"

"Sugoi, sugoi! How'd you do it?!" Komekko asks. "How are you doing that?"

"It's a magnet!" Darkness says. "It must be some kind of magnet!"

Smaug looks between the two. 'Do they forget Magic exists?'

"No, there's no magnets or magic involved!" Aqua states.

Smaug looks confused. "Oh, you have a Smaug confused."

"So..." Hyoizaburoo speaks up. "What exactly is the nature of your relationship with our daughter?"

Kazuma takes a deep breath. "Like I've been saying, we're just frie--"

Hyoizaburoo yells and tries to flip the table over, but Yuiyui stops him, by holding the table down.

"Honey!" Yuiyui shouts. "Stop! No more flipping the table and breaking it! We don't have that kind of money! Stop!"

The party watches in shock, with Komekko just blankly staring at the ceiling.

Several Minutes later.

Hyoizaburoo takes a sip of his tea after having calmed down. "Forgive me. I lost my composure. It's just that you kept insisting so shamelessly that you're only friends..."

Kazuma reaches into his pack and pulls out some food. "This isn't much, but here..."

Hyoizaburoo and Yuiyui both put their hands on the food box at the same time.

"Dear, I believe Kazuma-san meant to give this to me." Hyoizaburoo says to his wife.

"Oh, really?" Yuiyui questions. "After all that bluster just now, you're being polite enough to call him Kazuma-san? You really shouldn't. It's embarrassing." The party deadpans. "This is going to be our dinner tonight. I'm not going to let you snack on it with your booze."

"Ma'am, those are just dumplings..." Kazuma sweat drops. "They don't make much of a snack, let alone a meal."

The two adults struggle for control of the box.

Komekko leans over the table and looks at the dumpling box. "Hey, is this the kind of food that actually fills you up, instead of the watery rice porridge we usually eat?!"

'They barely have anything to eat?' Smaug questions. 'Me, I'd hate that.'

Kazuma pulls out several more boxes and a couple deserts and slides them over to Hyoizaburoo, Yuiyui and Komekko. "It really isn't much, but here..."

Hyoizaburoo slams his hands on the table and leans over. "We're so glad to have you, Kazuma-san!" He turns to Yuiyui. "Dear, bring out some of the good tea!" 

Yuiyui swiftly stands up. "We only have one type of tea, honey." She walks off.

---

"Konosuba!" Smaug yells.

---

Komekko is sutffing dumplings into her mouth with a smile. The party smiles at how happy she is.

"I don't care what you feed us!" Hyoizaburoo shouts as he eats a dumpling. "You can't have Komekko!"

"I don't want her!" Kazuma yells. "That's not what I'm trying to do!" He turns to Komekko. "Komekko, you can have the rest."

"I can?! Yay!" Komekko cheers and runs around.

"You seem nice enough, so I won't object..." Yuiyui speaks up, Kazuma takes a sip of tea. "But I really think you should pay off your debts before taking in our daughter."

Kazuma spits out his tea, Smaug starts to cough from choking on some saliva, Darkness pats her on the back as Komekko eats a dumpling on the Crusader's lap.

"I told you that we're only friends!"  Kazuma yells.

"But in her letters..." Yuiyui starts.

"Can I ask you what she wrote, exactly?"

Hyoizaburoo and Yuiyui glance at each other. Yuiyui looks back at Kazuma and puts a hand on her chin. "Well, for starters... You left her covered in a sticky fluid and made sport of her. When she depleted her magic power, you carried her on your back while pressing her chest against you. You bathed together. As she napped innocently on the sofa, you stared up her skirt while sitting across from her and holding your knees." Kazuma has a horrified look on his face. "You feed Chomusuke and say, 'This is what I want. Bring me more of this! Then I'll feed you even more!' while showing her some underwear..."

Kazuma swiftly slides the table to the side and slams his head into the ground. "I am so sorry!" He rubs his head into the patted ground.

"But in spite of it all, she says you're an important friend..." Hyoizaburoo says and Kazuma looks up. "And that even if you're debt-ridden, perverted foul-mouth without a lick of sense, you'd die without her, so she'll stay with you. Considering she said all that, I'm sure there's more to you than it seems. And I'm glad that your dragon friend has been acting as a mother to Megumin, it gives her motivation to keep going."

'There are parts of that I'd argue against, but being called an important friend does make me kind of happy.' Kazuma says in thought. 

Yuiyui then speaks. "Since you're in the same party as her, we'd love to help you out..."

"No, it's all right!" Kazuma says as Komekko rides Darkness like a horse in the background. "I'm on the verge of making a fair bit of money."

"Oh? Exactly how much are we talking?" Hyoizaburoo asks.

Kazuma rubs the back of his head. "I think it was 300 million eris."

"300 million?!" The two parents scream in shock.

'Huh? Should I have not said that?'

Hyoizaburoo leans into Kazuma's face. "I've got a great idea, Kazuma-san! You should spend the night here! As my daughter's comrade and friend, it's only natural! I mean, as an adventurer, you don't have a home of your own, right?!"

"N-No, I actually have a mansion in Axel..." Kazuma informs.

"Mansion?!" The two parents yell in shock again.

later that night.

Kazuma finishes up taking a bath and he walks back to the living room, but hears Darkness yelling, so he stops and hides around the door frame.

"How can you suggest such a thing?!" Darkness shouts. "Don't you care what happens to your daughter?!"

Inside the room, Komekko is sleeping with Megumin, Hyoizaburoo is knocked out on the floor. Smaug is mostly down for the count as blood falls from her nose and grass is in her hand.

"It's perfectly fine." Yuiyui says. "She's old enough to get married, and Kazuma-san is an adult with good judgement. Even if something were to happen..."

Darkness leans forward. "What are you--"

Yuiyui holds up a finger. "Sleep."

Darkness falls to the ground, knocked out.

Kazuma's jaw drops. 'She actually did it!' He sees Hyoizaburoo knocked out on the floor. 'Is this...'

Yuiyui appears in the doorway. "Oh, Kazuma-san. All done with the bath? Everyone's already asleep, so would you help me move them into their rooms?"

Kazuma sweats a little.

.

.

The door shuts and Smaug comes to her senses. "Huh?"

Smaug looks around as she wipes blood from her nose. Smaug notices she's in a room lit up by the moonlight. She looks down and notices she's sitting on a coat with Darkness sleeping next to her. 

The moonlight shines off their wedding rings. Smaug looks down at hers and smiles. Smaug then yawns and starts undressing. She takes off her claok then her shirt, her breasts bounce a little.

Boing
Boing

She unclips her bra and sets it to the side, then starts to take off her leggings. Smaug then looks at you and turns the view away. "I've think you seen enough."

A couple leggings get thrown into view and a pair of socks and pants. Some shuffling is heard, then Darkness' armor is thrown into view. After a few seconds Smaug grabs the view and brings it back onto her. She's covering herself with a blanket.

"Can't give you too much fan service now, can we?" Smaug smiles as she sticks her tongue out at you.

Smaug lays down and her tail wraps around Darkness and she hugs the Crusader to her large chest. Smaug closes her eyes and she hugs Darkness tight. 'I wonder how Dave's meeting went with Chunnimiku's parents?'

Several Hours Earlier. 

"I'm walking on sunshine, oh oh~" Dave sings as her and Chunnimiku walk towards the large ice crystal in the distance. "I'm walking on sunshine, oh oh~"

Chunnimiku nervously sweats as people stare at her and Dave. "Miss Dave, can you not sing? It's attracting attention." Her ears wiggle.

Dave sighs in disappointment. "I guess so."

"T-Thank you."

After several minutes the two make it to a large three story house, that has ice sticking to teh sides of it. A large ice crystal shines in the back of the house.

Dave shivers a little. "Oh, chilly." 

The two enter the house.

"I'm home!" Chunnimiku yells.

A tall elf walks into the room with a large grisly bear over his shoulder. "Oh, hey Chunni!"  He sets the bear down with a thud. "Hey honey, Chunni's back!"

A tall female elf, covered in blood from head to toe, walks into the room. "Chunni, it's been a few years since I've seen you."

An elf walks down a pair of stairs, who looks like a slightly older version of Chunnimiku. "Heh, it's you."

Chunnimiku looks at Dave. "Dave, these are my parents and my older sister."

Miku's father does a pose and his eyes shine. "Heh, a new comer to the Miku house hold!"

Miku's mother does a pose as her eyes shine. "It's been a while since we've had a guest."

Miku's sister does a pose as her eyes shine. "Better watch out, I'm the strongest Ice magic user to exists!"

"I'm Dimemiku!" Chunnimiku's father greets.

"I'm Shinemiku!" Chunnimiku's mother greets.

"And I'm Mikumiku!"Chunnimiku's sister greets.

The three do a pose as their eyes shine.

Dave waves. "Hi, I'm Dave."

The three other Miku's narrow their eyes at her.

"Nope, she's not good wife material for you." Shinemiku says.

"M-Mom!" Chunnimiku blushes. "She's just my travel companion!" 

"Yeah, we're beast friends!" Dave hugs the elf next to him.

Dimemiku picks up the massive grisly bear and puts it over his shoulder. "Well, I'mma start dinner."

"Oh, let me help."

The two parents walk into another room.

Mikumiku walks over to Chunnimiku with a smug look. "So what have you done since leaving home, nothing admirable I bet. I just got home and got the title Ice Witch."

"I have the title Ice Queen." Chunnimiku informs. 

"W-Well, I slayed a Owl Bear!"

"I slayed an Ancient Dragon." Chunnimiku informs.

Mikumiku takes a step back in shock. "Not possible, someone as scrawny as you couldn't even hurt a fly!"

Chunnimiku does a pose as her eyes shine. "Well, I used Absolute Zero and took it down!"

"Impossible! The chant is in an unknown language and getting a single syllable wrong messes up the chant!"

Dave just watches on with a smile.

"W-Well." Mikumiku stutters. "You're face is stupid!" She stomps away.

A few hours and one awkward dinner later.

Chunnimiku is in her room and she glances around at all the furs that line her walls and floor. She then walks over to her closet and takes out some pajamas and sets them on her bed.She then starts taking off her clothes. She takes off her shirt and sets it to the side and looks at a mirror to the side. She sees part of a barcode hidden under her left bra.

The Chunnimiku turns to the side and looks at her back through he mirror. Four massive claw like scar line her back, she looks at them for a few seconds before putting on her pajamas. 

Suddenly the door opens. "Miku!" Dave bursts in.

"Dave! What are you doing?!" Chunnimiku screams.

Dave tilts her head in confusion. "I'm sleeping with you tonight."

"Why, there's like ten other rooms to sleep in!"

"We've been sleeping in the same bed for the past year-ish, so why not."

Chunnimiku huffs. "F-Fine." She gets in bed and Dave joins her. "Good night."

Dave smiles. "Good night."

To Be Continued! Dun dun daaaaaaa~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

06-04-2023

8475 words