1-Shitty Life

Hi, my name is Felix Cattus. Yeah, I know my name is the same as the cat from that infamous advertisement. You can't imagine how difficult it was at school; I became the laughing stock of everyone. However, when I entered middle school, things took a turn for the worse. Within a month, I transformed into a troublesome student who frequently got into fights because of the constant teasing.

Gradually, I managed to escape the laughter, but in doing so, I ended up isolating myself. It's not that I had no friends, but appearances can be deceiving. True friendship reveals itself in times of great difficulty. I knew that I had only three genuine friends. However, life is full of hardships. One of my friends, Alicia, moved to another city, and unfortunately, I never saw her again until today. Another friend, Jack, battled cancer and passed away six months ago. As for the last of the three, Lucas, I simply lost contact with him, and I have no idea what became of him.

As I approached the end of middle school, I had successfully created a facade that kept me isolated. I pretended to be someone I wasn't, but strangely, it didn't bring me down. After all, I was consistently feeling depressed about something else—I was certain of it. So, when I finished middle school and transitioned to high school, my depression persisted, and I couldn't figure out why. One question consumed my thoughts.

I never knew my mother. I lived with my father, whom I could almost swear didn't have a heart. I suppose you're curious to know why I thought that, right? Well, one day when I returned home, I found him sitting on his favorite couch, engrossed in watching TV. His phone was in his right hand, while the remote control rested in his left. I entered quietly, making sure not to create any disturbance, yet he didn't react immediately to the sound of the door shutting.

"YOU F*CKING B**CH OF A FREAK!! YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIM!" he shouted into his phone and abruptly hung up. "Oh! Felix, when did you come back?" he asked, suddenly noticing my presence.

The mere fact that he tried to act as if nothing had happened made me realize that he was attempting to conceal something from me. So, I gathered the courage to inquire, "I came back a while ago. Who were you talking to on the phone? From what I overheard just now, it sounded like you were discussing me. Was it who I think it was?"

As I bombarded him with questions, I noticed his frustration building up, eventually erupting into anger. He shouted at the top of his lungs, "YOU! YOU'RE MY SON! YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT FREAK OF A MOTHER YOU HAVE!" After continuously repeating those words for five minutes, he gradually calmed down. He then uttered, "You're not a freak like her. That's the only reason I kept you with me! At least you're 'normal'," with an emphasis on the word 'normal' that sent shivers down my spine. Before I could react, he struck me in the face with a punch. "Go to your room. You're not having dinner tonight," he added sternly.

I complied with his demand, holding my cheek with my hand, afraid of the consequences if I disobeyed. I didn't want to end up in the basement again, not after what had happened before. I went hungry throughout the night and couldn't bring myself to sleep until 4 in the morning. Thankfully, I didn't have school the next day.

Revised on Monday, June 19th, 2023 at 1 a.m (UTC+2).