Chapter 7: Facing oneself

Thomas stood before Lucius's room. The vampire was in the hospital wing. Currently getting the regenerative treatment. The same as Andrew.

The receptionist couldn't help but blame himself. If he had only waited for the guild master, instead of going towards Lucius, now the vampire wouldn't be hurt at all.

Thomas rose a fist, and knocked on the door. A come in was rasped through the door, and Thomas entered. Lucius was hooked to all sort of tubes. They were pumping regenerative potions in his system. His face was scrunched up, and Thomas could see his skin regrowing.

"Hey, Thomas. It is," Lucius looked at the clock by the door, just to be sure that he had gotten the time right. "Two o'clock. Have you had your snack?"

"I... I am sorry, Lucius," Thomas bowed to the vampire, biting his bottom lip.

"Come here," Lucius commanded, and Thomas obeyed. He felt himself being swatted on the forehead, and he looked up.

"That is for being silly. I am S ranked, Thomas. If I don't fight to defend the guild, who will?" Lucius was smiling down at him. The vampire knew why Thomas looked so torn. He could sort of understand, as well. Still, it was not like Lucius was going to die. He was not going to allow to be mourned before his time.

"The hag was SSS ranked. I checked her file," Thomas protested, and he received another swat on the forehead.

"Rank has little meaning, Thomas. Once you get to become an adventurer, you will see," Lucius said, and he patted the space next to him on the bed.

Thomas sat down, and stared at Lucius for a while. Lucius was the oldest member of the Orestria guild. Had seen one hundred guild masters come and go. Had kept the rank of S for eons.

Yet, he had nearly died. Thomas was having doubts on whatever or not he wanted to become an adventurer. As a summoner, most of the heavy lifting would be done by the summon. Yet, Thomas knew that this was not all there was to it.

The summon could betray you. It was rare that it happened, but it happened. The summon could get swarmed, and the mobs could charge the summoner. The summoner could...

"You are thinking how it is not for you now, aren't you? Being an adventurer, I mean?" Lucius asked him, head tilted to the side. Thomas could see the nasty eaten away patches of skin that were growing slowly.

"Is it painful?" Thomas asked. Not wanting to face his fears.

"Answer my question first, Thomas," Lucius told him sternly. Thomas gulped.

"I am a receptionist," Thomas began. "The biggest wound that I have gotten recently was a paper cut while handing quests. What you are going through right now is beyond what I can handle."

Lucius barked a laugh. Then another. He pressed a hand over his eyes and exhaled.

"Oh, Thomas. You will see that the human body can handle much more than a paper cut, as long as the human spirit has enough resolve to keep on fighting. Think - the next time some party brings a hag's head, will you run? Or, would you be the one staying back to buy them time to get the guild master and evacuate the civilians?"

Thomas blinked. He had thought about himself, not about others. His fear the only thing that registered in his mind. Yet, now that it was almost called, his shame and guilt resurfaced to the forefront of his mind.

"Summoners are not all that powerful. They are practically civilians," Thomas protested. He disliked giving himself too big of a hope for anything. Because, more often than not, he failed.

"Who said you have to be a one trick pony? If you'd like, I can see you as an S ranked before the end of a ten-year period. But that is only if you want it," Lucius offered. He reached out with his hand, one connected to so many tubes it was hard to see it, towards Thomas.

The would-be summoner stared at the offered hand. Lucius didn't take on apprentices, no matter how much one begged. Why was he giving Thomas a chance?

"Why me? There are so many adventurers in the guild. Why train me?" Thomas asked, and Lucius shrugged.

"I want a challenge. Those adventurers you speak of? They can become great without my help. You? You are an almost lost cause, Thomas," those words hurt the receptionist, and his eyes grew misty.

"Look at you, getting in the dumps instead of arguing," Lucius continued, looking him straight in the eyes. "Where is your fighting spirit? Your pride? The only good thing you have for you is a good character. Good character doesn't win battles, Thomas."

Thomas sniffled. He was being told that his dreams will remain dreams. All because of his lack of will.

"But you know what? I think you also have a good mind. I have seen you sort the quests. Deny parties that would be way over their heads without even flinching. Even when they got angry. You have a spine, Thomas. The problem is that it is made out of ivory. You need it to become as tough as steel," Lucius sighed, and patted Thomas on the shoulder.

"Don't cry now," Lucius said, as he lifted Thomas's chin. "I am not saying these things to be cruel."

"Why then?" Thomas managed to get out. All his life, people have said similar things. You are not good enough. You will never make it. It was just that Lucius had been the nicest when it came to talking him down.

"Because you are good enough to become a top-notch summoner. I believe you can make it into the S ranked bracket. Heck, you can go beyond that. The question is, will you give yourself a chance? Or, is losing weight the only thing that you want to achieve. Because, I can make both of these things happen. Or, just one," Lucius offered his hand again. This time, Thomas took it and shook it as gently as possible, so he wouldn't dislodge the tubes.