It is my birthday today, all my family has congratulated me, but the only one who I wish to speak to today is him. No reply for 2 days now, is he busy? Is he ignoring me? What is the reason you only asked how I was and nothing else? 

Does he remember me? My every thought about love in the past 8 years has involved him, but has he thought of me once in these years? Only time will tell, yet it flows so slowly now that I've found him again. It's as if the universe is torturing me with it's crawling pace, a welcome blessing if I was with him, but a curse without.

These writings do little to stop my mind from jumping from bad to worse and then back to hope that maybe, just maybe he feels the same. For I was afraid to open that first message if his, what would it contain; love, rejection, sadness, hope? All it held so far is a remembrance of me and a wondering at my well-being.

These two days have been anxiety stricken, yet remembering his smile brings a smile to my face and peace to my heart. Does he remember? Does his heart speak to him as mine does? Will our paths combine or shall they split as they did 5 years ago? 

I walk through the wooded path to clear my mind, trying and failing to remove him from my mind for just a bit to ease my anxiety. A fallen tree blocks my way, I simply crush the branches with my feet and walk ahead clearing the spiderwebs with my walking stick as I try to clear my mind from the fog that covers it. Past the obstacles is a tree, shaped by Mother Nature herself into a perfect arch over the path.

Perhaps this walk is Her speaking to me, past these obstacles is something beautiful. My dog walking with me, making a tumultuous noise and running around as children would in play. The sun shining beautifully through the gorgeous greenery, a hopeful light giving me dreams of the future.

My walking stick is headed by an eagle, showing the freedom, bravery and support to take any path I choose. I could not find the sassafras tree this day to make tea of it's roots, but perhaps it is another sign, for it is a sweet but cancerous tea as I've heard. Does She speak to me in this way, or does my mind merely cling to hope? It feels as if Mother Nature and Father Sun are blessing me this day, I only hope my love gives me a similar blessing.

Perhaps this day shall be blessed in the end. I don't know what the future holds, only the possibilities and where time may lead. I hope to show him the path one day, for I will clear the obstacles for him so that he may see Her beauty.