Ash is standing on a rock in the middle of the valley.

Ash looks around. "Hmmm." Ash looks up to the sky then to the ground then he just looks forward. "Standing here for ten minutes, I've discovered that.... I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."

Suddenly he hears yelling from two opposite sides of the valley.

"What the hell?" Ask asks confused.

"Kill the reds! Kill the reds!" Ash hears a group yelling from his left.

"Kill the blues! Kill the Blues!"  Ash hears a group yelling from his right.

"I'm hearing voices." Ash says. "Have I gone insane?" Ash goes silent for a few seconds. "Pffft. I'm already insane! Or am I?"

Suddenly a Bugle Call plays out of nowhere.

"Chaaaaarge!" Two different groups yell.

Ash looks to his left and right to see an army of red and blue soldiers running out of some buildings, firing their guns blindly.

A rocket flies past Ash's face as he watches the battle from atop his rock.

"Die bitch!" A red and Blue soldier yell at each other as they snip each other in the head.

A blue fires a rocket launcher and it hits the ground next to a red and he's sent flying. "I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!" The red yells as his body flies past Ash.

A blue drives a Warthog and a red uses a gravityhammer and hits the Warthog. 

"FUCK!" The blue yells as his Warthog is sent flying through the sky and lands on another blue. "Outta my way jackass!" The blue continues driving.

A red is at his base throwing grenades. He then steps to the side and picks up more grenades and continues throwing.

A blue walks towards a sniper on the ground, not noticing the red behind a rock.

"HAhaha!"  The blue yells and the red hits him in the back. "Oh, you weapon camping bitch!"

"You just suck!" The red yells as he runs away.

A blue and a red are sniping at each other from across the map and they keep missing.

A red soldier walks over to a rocket. "Ohhh." But another red comes by and grabs it. "Hey, asshole, that was mine!"

"Snooze you lose!" The red runs way.

"Jackass." The red says and he spots a warthog next to him and he walks over to it, but another red gets inside it and drives off. "You know what! That's it!" The red disapears and his weapon and grenades fall to the ground.

Red #3 has left the game

A blue and a red are a few feet from each other, firing their assault rifles at each other.

"Why won't you die! Hacker!" The red yells.

"No, you're the hacker!" The blue yells.

Suddenly a grenade lands between then and explodes, killing them both.

A red and a blue run around a corner and they both have rocket launchers. "DIE!" They both scream as they blow themselves up with rockets.

A red reaches the blue base. "I'm gonna get the flag! I'm gonna get the flag!"

A blue pops out from the entrance of the base and shoots the red with a shotgun, killing him.

"HAHA! Suck it!" the blue yells and he gets sniped in the head.

A red is standing on a wooden bridge with a sniper. "Get sniped, Bitch!" 

A warthog flies through the air and hits him, killing him.

Then there is only one red and one blue left. They stand a few meters from each other, staring.

A tom-tom drum beat stars. An eagle cries overhead.

A soprano recorder is heard. Wah wah wah 
The Red and Blue are hard staring each other down
Another soprano recorder is hear. Wah wah wah
A tumble weed rolls between the two.
Another soprano recorder is heard. Wah wah wah wah
The two soldiers reload their guns.
Another soprano recorder is heard. Wah wah wah

"AHHHHHH!" The two soldiers yell as they charge each other and when they meet they both melee each other, killing themselves.

The drum stops and the battlefield goes quiet.

Ash is still standing on top of his rock and he looks around to all the dead bodies.

"That...." Ash looks to a blue crouched under a jeep. "Was...." Ash sees a red laying face down on the ground. "AWESOME!" Ash shouts. "LET'S DO IT AGAIN!"

A mini Ash, with a halo, pops on Ash's right shoulder. "But we don't have time."

"Huh?"

Another mini Ash, with devil horns, pops on Ash's left shoulder. "Let there be chaos!"

Ash looks between the two. "What?"

The two mini Ash's both walk in front of him.

"We need to find a way out of here and get a move on, we need to find O'Malley." Good Ash says.

"Don't listen to that cocksucker!" Evil Ash says.

"Hey!" Good Ash yells.

Evil Ash continues."There's always time to make explosions, Kill people. Make weapons! Make Weapons that explode and kill people!" He laughs.

"Oh, I get what's going on." Ash says and he looks to good Ash. "You're my Sane side." Ash looks to Evil Ash. "You're my insane side." Ash laughs. "And you're both just in my head because I'm not crazy!"

Evil Ash and Good Ash look to each other then back at Ash. "Nope, your completely Insane." They both say.

"Shut up!" Ash shoots both of them and they disappear. "I'm not completely insane! Only slightly." Ash looks down to the bottom of the rock where a dead red is. "What do you think?" After a few seconds. "That's what I thought."

Ash looks around to all the dead bodies. "It's kinda boring now."

Suddenly Reveille plays throughout the battlefield. 

All the soldiers stand back up and yell and cheer.

The reds and blues run back towards their base. "Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut." 

The battlefield goes quiet as all the reds and blues are back in their bases.

Ash looks back and forth. "What the hell, was that?!" Ash looks towards the red base. "Yeah, I got time." Ash hops off the rock and heads towards the red base.

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06-29-2022