"Mister Sergeant, Mister Sergeant." Caboose calls out for Sarge.

"Come quick." Caboose says.

Sarge is just outside the hallway. "He better have a damn good reason for interrupting our search. Can't he see this is an extremely organised and highly motivated operation."

2 minutes before that

"Yeah I'm bored." Grif says. "I want to stop doing whatever it is I'm pretending to be doing."

"You're supposed to be helping me look for Lopez meatsack." Sarge explains. "You said you saw him up here."

"We saw his head." Grif says.

"Just the head?" Sarge asks.

"Yeah it was operating the right turret."

"How does that work?" Ash ask.

"Yeah, how does he pull the trigger?" Sarge asks.

"He's very determined." Simmons explains.

"You're sure it was Lopez?" Sarge asks.

"Well, I heard screaming in Spanish and bullets flying through the air." Grif says. "So either that was Lopez, or this is Mexican New Years."

"I didn't even make tacos." Ash mumbles.

"Well where's his head his head now?" Sarge asks.

"Uh, I don't know. Tex shot it." Simmons says.

The reds turns to Tex.

"Hey Tex!" Simmons yells.

Tex pops out from a building. "What?" She yells.

"When you shot Lopez's head, where did it go?" Simmons asks.

"How do I know?" She yells.

"Are you sure you hit it?" Simmons asks. Tex stares at him. "I mean, is it possible that you missed?" Tex keeps staring at Simmons. "I mean, just this one time. It doesn't say anything about your overall skill level."

Tex walks back inside her building. 

Simmons turns around and looks at the group. "Yeah, she says she doesn't know."

Back to present time

The reds walk inside.

"Caboose, what're you yammering about?" Sarge asks. "Did you find Lopez?"

"Someone meaner!" Caboose says.

"The IRS?!" Ash asks.

"Meaner!"

"O'Malley?!" Sarge asks.

"Meaner!" 

You found someone meaner than the guy trying to destroy the universe?" Grif asks.

"Yes!" 

The Church's voice comes through a computer.

"Caboose is that you?" Church asks. "Can you hear me?"

"See. It's Church." Caboose says. "And he's meaner than ever!"

"Caboose is that you?" Church asks. "Can you hear me?"

Caboose looks at the computer. "Church. I can hear you. Can you hear me?"

"Caboose is that you? Can you hear me?"

"Church! I can hear you. How are you?"

"Caboose is that you? Can you hear me?"

Simmons speaks up. "I think it might be a recording."

"Quiet." Grif says. "I wanna see how long this lasts!"

"Church. I can hear you. Do you miss me?: Caboose asks.

Sarge walks over to the computer. "More over braniac. Let me see if I can get the get the rest of this thing to play."

"And there goes the fun." Ash says.

Sarge crouches down and messes round with the computer.

"I  carried the bomb and found Church." Caboose says. "I...am a very important person."

"Yes, we're very impressed." Grif says sarcastically. 

"Hmm, I think I can reroute power from the main coupling to the memory storage compartment." Sarge says. "Grif, we may have to use some of your circuitry from your armor's life support system."

Grif walks over to the computer and looks at the screen. "Or, I could just hit the play button."

"Are you sure?" Sarge asks. "I'm already down here."

"I'm sure."  Grif says.

"Already got the access panel off and everything."

"Pressing play." Grif says.

"Alright." Sarge stands up and Grif presses play.

The recording of Church starts. "Caboose. I know you're there. I'm leaving this message from 2000 years in the past "

The recording continues. "Whatever you do, don't touch anything. Apparently you're this culture's version of the apocalypse. You're going to destroy this building, and somehow bring about doom for their entire race."

"Mmm, no. That doesn't sound like me." Caboose says he then whispers. "I like people. And buildings also."

"How come he is the version of some culture's apocalypse, but not me?" Ash asks.

Caboose, what did you do with the bomb you were carrying?" Simmons asks.

"I put it on the X, like I was supposed to." Caboose says.

"Uh oh."

"I think we'd better get out of here." Grif says.

The recording of Church continues. "Whatever you do, don't touch the glowing weapon thing they have stored here."

"Uh oh." Simmons says again.

Church continues. "And if you do, definitely don't bring it into the main building."

"Wassup dawgs?" Tucker says.

"Otherwise the whole place is going to lock down and you're going to be trapped."

"Automatic locked doors? Cool!" Donut says.

"Would you stop saying bad things that come true!" Caboose says to recording Church. "Or... say them ten seconds earlier."

Sarge turns on his radio. "Tex, this is Sarge. Do not detonate the bomb."

"I don't have a detonator." Tex says over the radio. "It's on a timer."

"A countdown timer?" Grif asks on the radio.

Ash turns to him. "You're so fucking stupid."

"No. A count up timer." Tex says. "It goes from 1 to explode. Of course a countdown timer you idiot!"

Sarge turns off his radio. "I think we might be in trouble. Ah fudgebumps."

"Were going to explode!" Ash yells. "Again!"

T minus 3 minutes

"Just three minutes left on the bomb!" Sarge yells.

"Arghh! We're all going to explode and die!" Donut yells.

"Simmons come over here!" Grif yells "Help me chew on this wall. We can eat out way out!"

Ash looks at them. "I was crazy before it was cool."

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06-30-2022