(Short chapter.)

The Bomb is beeping and it has 2 minutes left until it blows up.

"Oh... just two minutes left." Grif says.

"Men, I don't want this to sound pessimistic, but I'm absolutely certain we're all gonna die!" Sarge says.

"I think that's a totally objective assessment of the situation, sir." Simmons says.

"We're going to die by a bomb I didn't build." Ash says. "I'm very sad now."

"What if we just beat on these window shutter together?" Tucker asks. "We can get 'em open!"

"No! That would be the coward's way out!" Sarge yells. "Fruitlessly trying to escape instead of accepting your own fate!"

"But I can see daylight!" Tucker yells.

"It's true." Sarge says. "Only a miracle can save us now."

"What if I blow this bomb up with another?" Ash asks himself. "That could work. Hmmm?"

.

.

.

.

.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DUE!" Sarge yells. "STARTING WITH GRIF! EVERYONE, GET READY TO KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE! Simmons, you can have the honor of kissing mine."

Then Church appears outside the base.

"Hey everybody, what's up." Church asks.

"Aww, man." Ash says.

Caboose turns around. "I am so happy that you made it in time to die with me. We will get to be smithereens together!"

"That won't be necessary, Caboose. Hey Gary how you doing?"

The computer screen flashes.

"Not bad." Gary says. "Although my static ion-matrix is a little itchy."

"The Computer can talk?!?!" Simmons yells.

"The computer's name is Gary?!?" Grif asks.

"How have you been, Church?" Gary asks.

"Good, thanks for asking." Church says. "Listen could you do me a favor? Could you shut off the bomb please?"

"No problem." Gary says.

"GARY YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU COULD'VE TURNED OFF THE BOMB THIS WHOLE TIME?!?" Sarge yells. "AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SO?!? AND DON'T SAY I DIDN'T-"

"You didn't ask." Gary says.

Sarge starts to mumble to himself.

"Man it is really great to see you guys." Church says.

"You seem like you're in a good mood." Tucker says.

"I learned a very valuable lesson in my travels, Tucker." Church starts. "No matter how bad things might seem-" 

"They could be worse." Caboose says.

"Nope. No matter how bad things might seem, they can't get any better, and they can't get any worse. Because that's the way things are, and you better get used to it Nancy. Quit yer bitchin'." Church looks to Ash. "Ash."

"Hmm?" Ash turns to Church.

"Couldn't you have disarmed the bomb?" Church asks.

Everyone stops what they're doing and turn to him.

"Well.... I wanted to see how long it would take for someone to remember that I work with weapons and explosives." Ash says. "And no one said 'Please, Save us Ash.'"

"You are fucking insane, you know that." Tucker says to him.

"I know. 9/10 voices in my head say I am." Ash says.

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06-30-2022