"If you don't like the plants idea, how do you feel about a fountain in the armory?" Donut asks.

"That place is so gloomy!" Donut finishes.

No, I had chemicals in there that could blow up the entire base if they touched water." Ash explains.

"Come on Donut, give it a rest already!" Sarge says. "I agreed to let you use Grif's helmet as a decorative birdbath, didn't I? Don't oversell."

"Ok." Donut starts. "But I have just one more idea! I'm going to say two words, and then walk away... Chantilly Lace."

"Unless you're gonna start singing a big bopper song, I think the best part of that idea is walking away."

"Let it simmer."

"Hmm, no sign of any defenses." Sarge states. "I think we might be catching Simmons at a weak moment!"

"Hm, no sign of the tank either."

"Dear God, the madness is spreading!!" Sarge turns to Ash. "And it's all your fault."

"Damn." Ash says.

Sarge continues. "It's only a matter of time before it takes me!

"Did you hear that?" Donut asks. "It sounds like they're having fun in there!"

"Clearly Grif has become so stupid, he's mixed up the yells for pain and happiness!" Sarge explains.

"I mean, he already was that kind of stupid." Ash quips.

Sarge continues. "Simmons must be doing absolutely diabolical things to him!" He turns to Donut and Ash. "Let's give him a few more hours. See if he escapes on his own."

Grif voice comes from within Blue base. "Simmons, I'm having a blast going in and out of your hole!"

Simmons' voice comes from within Blue base. "Grif, just stay down there like you're told."

"Well, that's my cue; let's go!" Donut says.

 Ash gags "I'm going to be sick."

Inside Blue Base

"Grif, stop it, I need your help." Simmons says.

Grif walks by Simmons. "Go ahead, I'm listening."

"Well, just stop riding that stupid grav lift."

Grif walks by him again. "I can do both at once. Why don't we have one of these things?"

"The tank's been making upgrades to the base over the last few hundred years." Simmons says.

"How did it do that without any tools?" Grif asks. "or arms?" He walks towards the hole.

"I don't know." Simmons starts. "A lot of what she says doesn't match up. I think she might be lying to me."

Grif walks past Simmons. "You think the enemy's weapons are lying to us? What a surprise." Grif says sarcastically. 

"It seems like a setup, I just can't figure out how."Simmons says as Grif yells in pain in the background. "I dunno, if I can piece it together maybe that'll fix things with..." 

Sarge and Ash walk up.

"Sarge?!" Simmons yells in surprise. 

"Hello, Simmons." Sarge greets.

"Piece of shit." Ash says.

"Where's Grif?" Simmons asks.

"This here's a rescue operation." Sarge explains. "He's unconscious down below being prepped for evac."

"If it's a rescue operation, why did you knock him out?"

"Well, all work and no play, you know. Heh heh heh."

"That's dumb."

"I think you know the proper procedure for submitting complaints, Simmons."

Simmons sighs. "I'll get my calligraphy pens."

"Don't bother. I think you also know how we treat traitors on red team!"

Sarge cocks his shotgun and Ash puts a fresh mag in his DMR. They aim their weapons at Simmons.

"I'm guessing you're not cocking that gun to give me a one gun salute in honor of my new promotion?"

"I don't think so. Simmons? Just remember, this hurts me more than it hurts you!"

"I seriously doubt that, sir." 

"Well, it hurts me almost as much as it hurts you."

"I don't buy that either."

"Can we hurry this up?"Ash asks.

"Well, I am the one who has to clean the shotgun later." Sarge says.

"Also solvent smells so..."

"Booyah!" Church yells

"Jesus Bobo!" Sarge yells.

Ash turns to Church. "You know, this is fairly familiar." Church hits him in the face and he falls to the ground. "OW, Fuck!"

"Well that was close." Church says to Simmons. "And I always wanted to say 'booyah' too, that was awesome. Booyeah!"

"Where the hell'd you come from?" Simmons asks.

"Huh? Oh, you must be one of the new blues that took over our base after we left. Listen, don't be afraid. But I'm from the past..." Church says.

"Why would I be afraid of someone from the past? People from the future are scary, people from the past are savages and idiots. 

Sarge groans.  "What the...who hit me?"

"Hurry, quick, before he wakes up!" Simmons starts. "Help me get these guys in the hole!"

"We have a hole?" Church asks. "That's kick ass."

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07-02-2022