Caboose: What happened?

Tucker: One of the Reds just shot Church in the foot.

Church: Ow, that fuckin' hurt!

Tucker: Do you think we should try to help?

Caboose: I don't really see how we can, I can't really get a clear shot of Church from this angle.

Down with the Reds and Chruch.

Church: Ow, man you guys are a bunch of dicks. I just got this foot.

Simmons: Four minutes left.

Church: I just wanna say, that you guys are all mixed up. You're doing it wrong.

Donut: Doing what wrong?

Church: This, your team, like, where's Grif?

Donut: He's in the base cleaning up, he loves to keep things tidy.

Church: No, no, no, see? That's not right, this isn't the way things are supposed to be. It got all confused somehow. Grif isn't tidy at all, he's filthy.

Simmons: He's gonna wash his hands for a week if he hears you say that.

Church: Grif, come on, get out here man!

Grif: I'm doing my second coat of floor wax! That's when the shine comes to life. I'll be out in a minute.

Church: Ugh, Sarge come on, be Sarge, yell at him. Get him out here.

Sarge: Why would I yell at a subordinate? Seems unfair to yell at someone who can't yell back.

Church: What? That s- what?!

Sarge: Hey, sorry about calling you fellas subordinates.

Church: This is so lame.

Sarge: No offense meant.

Donut: None taken, boss.

Simmons: I actually kinda like being talked down to.

Church: Okay, seriously? Sarge, come on. You love being in charge, tell these guys to, you know, shape up or do something.

Sarge: Well, I guess they could be doin' a better job.

Donut: How?

Sarge: Uhh, I just want you guys to feel like you're reachin' your full potential.

Donut: I know I am.

Simmons: Me too.

Donut: My potential is so full, I feel like I could fill up a couple other soldiers' potentials.

Simmons: God damn it, mine's just the regular kind of full.

Church: And Donut, come on, man. This isn't you, you're supposed to be, you know, free spirited. Not some kind of repressed, overachieving jarhead.

Simmons: One minute left.

Church: Dude, what fuckin' clock are you using? It's only been like fifteen seconds. Then Ash.

Ash pops up from behind the Warthog. "Yes, Mr. Blue?"

"You're not supposed to be this submissive, quiet, shy guy. You're supposed to be Violent, loud and threatening to blow people up."

"Oh, no." Ash says softly. "I couldn't hurt anyone. My gun doesn't even have bullets." Ash holds up his gun and confetti comes out.  "Oh, I hope that wasn't too violent. I'm sorry!" Ash ducks down behind the Warthog.

Simmons: Well, what about me, blue guy? Am I supposed to be different too, you know, someone less nerdy and not lonely every second of the day?

Church: No, you're pretty much spot on, Simmons.

Simmons: Oh, okay. Great.

Donut: I've heard just about all I want out of this guy.

Church: Uh, I'm leaving, just remember, this isn't the way things are meant to be. You know it, and I know it. Donut, you're a nice guy. You're not a jerk, try expressing yourself a little bit. You know, like, start keeping a uh, like a journal, or a diary or something like that.

Donut: *clearing his throat* A what?

Church: Nevermind, nevermind. I'm leaving, I'm leaving. I'm gonna limp home now, okay? Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Church leaves.

Sarge: The nerve of that guy. He's just tryin' to get in our heads. Right?

Donut: *mumbling* How did he know about my diary?

Simmons: Your what?

Donut: Nothing! I have, I have to go, log, log this in, in my logbook.

Donut walks into the base.

Grif: Donut! Don't track mud in here! You know better! *Grif yells from within the base.*

Sarge: What do you think, Simmons?

Simmons: Hard to say, sir. He was talking nonsense, but he sounded so sure of himself. I think he should count himself lucky he got out of this one alive.

"Is he gone?" Ash asks.

"Yes." Simmons says.

Ash pops up. "He was scary."

Cut to the Research Facility being destroyed.

Four Seven Niner: Incoming transmission.

Carolina: I got it, this is vehicle Four Seven Niner, go for secure.

F.I.L.S.S: Secure, hello Agent Carolina.

Carolina: Good morning, F.I.L.S.S. Nice to hear your voice.

F.I.L.S.S: Is this a bad time? You sound, occupied.

Carolina: The LZ got a little... hot. We may be late for the rendezvous, but we'll get there. Don't leave without us.

F.I.L.S.S: Understood, it sounds like the Director was right to send you along to assist the teams.

Carolina: Seems that way, can't say everyone on board feels the same.

F.I.L.S.S: All Agents accounted for, excellent work.

Carolina: F.I.L.S.S, I see a blank spot in the head count. Please verify.

F.I.L.S.S: We will see you at the rendezvous, Agent Carolina. Fly safe, and have a nice day.

Carolina: Roger that, Carolina out. South, check our six.

South Dakota: Heads up, we've got company back here.

Minne runs over to the back.

"Crap!" Minne yells.

"What we got, Minnesota!" Carolina yells.

"We got two GA-TL1 Longsword-class Interceptor."

"What does that mean?" South asks.

"Fast ships that have devastating weaponry." Minne says.

"Who're your friends?" 479 asks Carolina.

"Just some people we met at the party." Carolina says.

"Man, I wish I was there." Minne says.

A missile explodes near the pelican, causing it to shake.

"They seem nice." 479 says.

The Longswords open fire on the Pelican, while Four Seven Niner maneuvers around them.

Carolina: Nice moves, firing missiles.

Carolina fires the missiles, but the Longswords evade them with ease.

South Dakota: Can't you get us out of here?!

Four Seven Niner: I'm working on it.

The lock on light begins beeping.

South Dakota: What's that noise?

Four Seven Niner: They have missile lock.

South Dakota: That's bad.

Four Seven Niner: Yeah, that's bad.

South Dakota: Take evasive maneuvers!

Four Seven Niner: I'm trying.

South Dakota: Well, try harder!

Four Seven Niner: Hey South? Do me a favor, would ya?

South Dakota: What?

Four Seven Niner seals the door to the loading dock.

Four Seven Niner: Thanks.

South Dakota: You stupid bitch!

Minne is heard laughing then a loud thud is heard.

"OUCH!" Minne yells.

The Longswords fire their missiles at the Pelican.

Four Seven Niner: Releasing flares.

Four Seven Niner fires off flares to deter the missiles, but still ends up getting hit.

Ash and South are trying to stay standing.

"I hate flying!" South yells.

"Well, maybe if you had set your motion trackers!" Minne yells. "And you be in my shoes!"

South Dakota is thrown around the loading bay and is knocked out. North Dakota begins regaining consciousness.

"Man down-!" Ash slams is head on a chair and he falls to the ground. "Another man, down!" 

Four Seven Niner: Hey, everyone hold on back there. Things are gonna get a little um...

Carolina: Bumpy?

Four Seven Niner: Yeah, well I was gonna say crashy, but bumpy works.

Four Seven Niner flies the Pelican into an ice canyon to try and avoid the Longswords' missiles, to a bit of success.

Carolina: Countermeasures depleted. North, get moving. I'm clearing you for equipment usage.

Four Seven Niner: Whatever you're gonna do back there, do it fast.

Minne and North help South into a seat. 

"Stay safe, kiddo." North says.

Four Seven Niner: North, North!

Minne helps North making his way to the ladder, with the HUD on his helmet flashing Helmet malfunction, takes off his helmet and tosses it aside as he climbs the ladder, working his way to the middle of the Pelican.

"You better be safe up there!" Minne yells from the hatch.

North Dakota: Well, here goes nothin'.

The Longswords fire off another volley of missiles, but are blocked off when North activates his drop shield.

The Pelican then starts heading downward towards the ocean.

Carolina: Pull up, pull up!

"I'm going to wet myself!" Ash is heard.

The Pelican manages to get balanced before crashing into the ocean.

The rendezvous light begins flashing.

Carolina: There's the rendezvous point, if we're gonna make it, you better punch it.

North falls down the hatch, but he's caught by Minne.

"I knew you'd fall for me." Minne says.

North chuckles as Minne helps him to a seat.

 A yellow beam is shot in the distance, destroying one of the Longswords.

Carolina: Whoa!

The clouds begin to clear, revealing the UNSC Frigate Mother of Invention, which fires off another beam from where the MAC would be, destroying the other fleeing Longsword.

Four Seven Niner: Mother of Invention, we're inbound.

F.I.L.S.S: We will have medical personnel waiting for you in the landing bay. Welcome home, Four-Seven-Niner.

Carolina: Thank you F.I.L.S.S. Good to be home.

"I might need a change of pants." Minne says.

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07-17-2022