Sofa you motherfucker, your timing was off on the second verse it was supposed to start at the second beat not whenever your majesty wants to. If you don't get your shit together I'm making you into a stool so you can get off my Ducking back and do your job.

It was the after meeting of my band and after I sang my heart out to my mom I was so fucking dissatisfied. Yeah she was happy with the performance, but she wasn't an artist she wouldn't understand.

Who am I talking about Alister? You might be asking yourself or am I asking myself...

Continuing on with the actual point it's obviously Sofa Bro. He's the lazy slacker of the group who we only keep around because of his god like talent on the drums. Damn if only he put in the work he could leave this ramshackle group of renegades and outcast, but like he told me so many times before he was a sofa, he was made to be rest on and forgotten. He was supposed to be soft and comfy not hard and rigid. 

The only thing that really gets him off his ass is if anyone does anything to pillow oneesan. The softest most caring woman I've ever known she's been with me all my life and was the pillow my mom used when she gave birth. A mid-wife, a lover, and a soft shoulder to lean on. She was also my best flautists leading all the other pillows in rehearsal.

Then there was chair. we don't talk much to chair. Not after I looked into his eyes and saw the horror's of war and like an idiot I asked the simple question WHY!

He then explained the Tree-woodpecker war. A massive war spanning the whole continent were massive tree's turn into spiders to fight off the threat of giant woodpeckers. Chair lost his whole family and the love of his life sofa bob sofa bros father. together with a baby sofa bro he, armchair man, and table guy brought their small unit- The River cottage brigade to an inner realm outside the EverForest. Disguising them as a house to keep them safe and to keep suspicious eyes off them and on to more suspicious things like whatever the duck is going on in this EverForest place.

That was all well and good but there was still one nagging question. Why the hell are you all so musically gifted I didn't even have to train them. Its like finding bears on the moon. They shouldn't be there but hey whatever now onward to Valhalla,(Proceeds to ride a bear to battle/death)

Chair and his comrades were actually the army band, but the war got so bad they had to actively play on the battlefield. He spoke to me about 90 foot tall wood peckers raining acid and causing earth quakes with there beaks as an army of millions of house size tree spiders wrapped their prey in vine like webbing, crawling all over their fallen foe eating them before they regenerate. Then theirs chair and his marry band of shmucks in the middle of this trying to rickroll their enemies. It was like having taylor swift in the middle of D day yeah its cool, but she's playing really loud music to distract their enemies cause their Germans and don't understand why taylor is always sing about broken relationships. The Allies have to hear it everyday so they can drone it out but the Germans don't want to hear her whine about her 5th break up so they start shooting mainly at her. She either has to run and face the shame of breaking up with the allies or dodge and weave to show the Germans she's no push over. And with that operation distraction/meat shield was a success! Tylor got shot twice and is bleeding on the ground but its all good most of us survived. 

If you didn't guess in the obvious metaphor Taylor swift is Chair, because if it was the real Taylor she would have broken up with allies and written a song to top the billboard 100 chart. I would love to listen to it, but too bad so sad it was actually chair and his mates dying horribly instead.

Either way after the after meeting I ate my lunch of apple slices and drank my goats milk for strong bones. It was a good practice It was a good life I had. Yup nothing can top this hope nothing comes to ruin this.

*Bang*

Its the final boss mom. Act cool. Act cool. I'm sure everything is A okay nothing to worry.

"Ali your already 3 I think it's time to start you on the local town's day care to meet other kids"

Mom I'm only 3 and your already kicking me out. Oh why didn't I learn any life skills yet. Shit other isekai protags have already invented cars and have a cute childhood friend. Dammit why am I such a weak op protagonist.

Unless I'm an Mc of a comedy isekai...

In that case i'm boned I'll be tortured and put in awkward situations that are oddly sexual without the nerve to pick a fucking girlfriend, because I'm denser then a fucking rock.

No wait there is a chance I just have to follow along with the greatest isekai story of all time. The Lego movie. I have to be Emmitt and role along with the punches and bring a group together of different talented personalities who squabble and never get along. Bringing them together For the greater good, and finding my own self worth along the way.             

  I still had one problem I didn't have a talent to share with everyone unless...

I take from the second greatest musical of all time high school musical I'll teach the kids how to pop, and lock jam, and break it will be so fun. Now I just have to find a way to make these kids trust. candy no to suspicious, sandwiches, no I'm not here for that. I keep stewing the thoughts in my head until I heard a quack from chair and his plan was genius.

Now I just have to finish up the final touches for the schools first BBB or B3 or Battle of the Boy Bands.