Phaedra

Books were tidy things. They were easily arranged and to their credit none of them complained. A quiet, orderly, and peaceful library is what I agreed to maintain.

Why then did my heart call to me? Like an unshelved book, I could not ignore it. It would not be right. Not when it was no longer entirely my own.

With a sigh I fetched one of two matching keys and slithered toward the front desk of the Library. There my heart sat in a brass cage, further warded by my lover's armored scales. (Her request, not mine.) No one could call me heartless, not when I kept the wretched thing nearby.

To me the heart and core of one's being was an inconvenient weakness; to be indulged only in brief lapses of reason and when an abundance of passion was required. It was otherwise best kept at arm's length where it could do me no harm.

Touching the dragon scale ward sent a lance of cold through my fingers and all the way down the length of my coiled body. I hissed with pain before locking eyes with the source, the door to a chamber that my guiding star led two students into not a turn prior. 

That I could feel pain through our bond boded ill.

"What in the blazes are you doing with those students?"

Odds were not great that a pair of students could harm an Astral Dragon, but it merited checking. A quick peek would not hurt, would it? I pulled a blanket tightly around myself kept on hand for when Orbital Hall passed through frigid environments, just in case.

I scribbled a note to inform any inquiring minds that I would be busy consulting with the Headmistress and would return shortly. A feathered quill and the blue ink was set aside for any requests to be left if the student had not time to linger. I could always follow up on them later.

Satisfied, I crossed the Library hall until I could feel a bone deep chill through the door.

The transition from warm and cozy library to a place of bitter hostility was not lost on me.

Asteria, the love of my life and my guiding star, averted her gaze.

Tourmaline, the savage wolf that took a possessive bite out of the eldest Amari sister, was attempting the closest approximation of comfort I knew her to be capable of by attempting to cover one wound with another.

Verity, one of Orbital Hall's newest students, could only be described as dead on her feet mid-transition into something I barely recognized.

Naturally, I heaped all of the blame onto the Headmistress.

I slithered up to and formed a physical barrier between Tourmaline and Verity, my lower half drawing a protective circle around a girl who did not even acknowledge my interruption of whatever was going on here.

"Tourmaline, we are Tourmaline today, yes?" An affirmative nod. "You are without clothes."

She made no sharp remark, not a good sign.

I made sure that Asteria met my gaze, clearing my throat and crossing my arms to express my disapproval. Only when she met my gaze did I beckon her forward. "You can explain yourself in a moment dear, for now, keep Tourmaline warm."

I turned to find Verity cowering from my gaze and attempting to avert her eyes, both hands covering up a wound from which black ichor spilled.

I lowered myself to her level, doing my best to put on a reassuring smile.

"Hello. Can you hear and understand me?"

A slow nod. Uncertain.

"I see you have made some changes. are you still going by Verity? She/Her?"

"Yes. I am."

"If only the circumstances of our meeting were kinder. Verity, it is none the less nice to make your acquaintance. I am Orbital Hall's Librarian. You may call me Miss Phaedra. I had been meaning to visit ever since Verse submitted a name change request to me. But I wanted to wait until you recovered and expressesed a willingness to receive visitors."

"I don't understand."

"All in due time. First, is there anything I can do about that wound?"

Her eyes darted to the brass cage, before falling to the floor and coiled serpentine tail that circled around her. "I'm not sure."

"May I ask you questions in an attempt to gauge your well being?"

She gave me a puzzled look. I considered elaborating before she found her words. "I'm sorry. I just am not used to someone asking if they are allowed to help me before."

I resisted the urge to glare murderous daggers at Asteria. Verity deserved the courtesy of priority treatment.

How to approach this in a way that was right for Verity? Chorus, for all their insight and good intentions, was not the best at documenting need-to-know information for interacting with their charges. Verity was also new to Orbital hall and evasive when the Headmistress called upon her. It was worth starting there.

"No one here can help you if you do not consent. With freedom to opt into and out of interactions here at Orbital Hall, it is possible to pull life saving safety nets out from under you. So, before anything else. I must ask you this. What is it you want?"

Verity looked as if she was ready to give her affirmation like it was the easiest thing in the world, up until I asked what she wanted. I got the impression she would have consented immediately if only asked if she wanted my help.

I denied her this. 

And she froze. Then she surprised me by owning the involuntary freezing up. She made it something conscious and intentional. Black ichor turned to frozen black crystals, and her wound closed all on its own. Ice flowed like water, mixing with the ichor until she settled for a configuration where her torso and forearms arms were encased in black ice.

"I think, at first I just wanted to be left alone." She said before pausing as if expecting a reply.

This I too denied her. She clenched blackened fists that ended in claws before continuing.

"I do not want to be told or graded over how I may or may not be healing. Maybe being stuffed into a body works for others. No, I'm glad it works for Verse. But I do not want anyone making decisions about or for me, no matter how good their intentions."

I backed away a respectful distance, no longer coiling a length of tail around where she had stood.

Verity smiled her appreciation. She looked tired, too tired to even complain about everything that bothered her.

I wanted to urge her anyways, but a little patience was all I needed.

"The truth is, I don't know what I want. Not really. Not in a tangible sense. I am angry about a great many things. Half the time, anything resembling progress feels like something I have to fight for. But at least I know how to do that. What I don't know is how to rest and be content with what I have or the progress I am making. I'm in the dark and stumbling toward lights that have worked for others, but now I'm not so certain."

I nodded when appropriate, but it was not hard to show genuine concern. A looming feeling was beginning to take shape that suggested the Chorus and Headmistress might be ill-equipped to handle her needs. I could only guess at that truth. What to look for had been impressed upon me only after another revealed a lifetime of scars in a moment of overabundant passion.

"Might I make a suggestion about how to go forward?"

Verity's sigh was world weary. Storms were never meant to live that long, but I had the creeping suspicion that Verity had never been a Storm to begin with. It was a most curious condition, but not unique to her or Verse.

 "Sure."

"Write to the other Instructors and Guardians. Or find a way to communicate with them on terms that work for you. If you'd prefer to find support in another student, maybe they can point you towards a friend or the community that you need."

"And if Orbital Hall just isn't for me?"

"It is best I let the Headmistress answer this one."

I turned to find her with what I knew to be a warming hand against Tourmaline's back. My own body ached for the real and emotional warmth of her touch. This frigid room was going to be the death of me, but I would discharge my responsibilities to the students first.

"We will of courze drop you off at any zettlement you dezire. If you need help picking one, we would be happy to field any inquiriez you make. If you cannot wait for Orbital Hall to reach the dezired location, we can provide you with food and a guide."

Verity seemed to take that in, resistant at first, but she relaxed after thinking it over. "I feel like I shouldn't be surprised at how reasonable and accommodating an offer that is. Like, I can see and appreciate what you do for everyone here. I'm still not sure if it is working for me. Maybe it never will."

"I do believe that Phaedra iz helping your Guardian and Instructor with an event meant to give whomever iz in attendance an idea of what threatz out in the world cannot be bargained with. It iz meant to help newcomers decide whether Orbital Hall iz for them or not."

"In what way?" Verity asked, more suspicious than curious.

It was Tourmaline that stepped forward to answer. "Students are meant to work together to confront and take something away from an encounter with something bigger than them. Instead of what we did, the only danger you are in is getting covered with a little paint." She stopped to bite her lip. "Actually, confronting something not unlike a Stormfolk is in the realm of possibilities. This exercise something a number of Instructors recommend their newest students attend. But anyone is welcome, especially if they want to meet and make new friends."

"It could be a very efficient use of your time." I suggested. "If you can handle what the Chorus sends at you alone, you may not need what the Orbital Hall offers at all." The looks Tourmaline and Asteria were no doubt giving me were not worth giving the time of day. I was instead infinitely more interested in watching as confusion turned to understanding as Verity looked between the tree of us.

"I think I'll attend." Verity said. She did so with a confidence that sounded assured. "Before I go, is it alright if I check out a book or two? I'm not familiar with the process, but I can describe what I'm looking for."

"There is a quill and ink on my desk dear. Do you know how to read and write?"

"I do." She turned and departed.

The room did not warm in her absence.

Truth be told, the temperature had become slowly more tolerable over the course of our conversation, but it never stopped being uncomfortable. Verity was stabilizing, but not healing, an important distinction.

Tourmaline excused herself with my blessing and intention of borrowing one of my coats. I did not mind if it got covered in paint.

When only the two of us remained, she was no longer the Headmistress. She turned to me as my Asteria.

"How did you know how to handle her?" Asteria asked after the door shut behind the two students.

"I did not. I just assumed she would figure it out with or without us. The details are of a nature we are unlikely to understand."

The look my guiding star gave me was a rare delight. I did so enjoy when our roles were reversed. To celebrate, I coiled up against her foreleg and gave her a reassuring embrace.

"She reminded me of someone is all. Someone I think she would very much like to meet."

"You did not mention thiz to her?"

"Love, she has hardly even been here a week. That is nowhere near enough time to even sample what Orbital Hall has to offer. Besides, she said it herself. She is not sure what it is she wants. I would not trust anyone to make hasty decisions under such circumstances."

Asteria stiffened, before grinning and seeing right through my words. "You never had any intention of zcolding me, did you?"

"What could I do to you that has not been done already? The only thing that has ever so much as slowed you down was when that Queen cut out your tongue."

"I would not enjoy a repeat of that performance."

"It's okay." I stroked Asteria's neck, seeking to placate her in advance. "If it comes to it, I will take Verity to see the once Royal Physician myself."

The silence that followed was one that only I enjoyed. But Asteria was never one to make me wait. She did not disappoint.

"If I did not know better, I might infer that you cared."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I do not see this as a kindness."

What if Verity is only trading one poison for another?

No, it is best Verity stayed a while longer. I would not willingly send her to meet someone who might intend her harm.

If Verity needed anything, it was to form lasting bonds that she could rely on.