I'm madly in love with you.

More than infatuated, more than insane for you.

Preciously, I admire you.

I observe your crooked smile and glimmering eyes from the depths of the shadows in my room.

I want to watch you up close and from afar.

I feel you moving around in the darkest corners of my mind, playing hide and seek with me while I try to catch a better glimpse of you.

You don't feel pain- the way I bloody my hands for you to ensure your safe keeping doesn't allow it. 

Instead, you live healthily in my turmoil, buried deep.

You see everything that they do to me- all the hatred nestled in my bones and the scars their words sear into my skin- and turn them into ashes at my feet.

Without you, it would be unbearable.

I've locked myself in this space with no way out, and I've chosen you as my only focus.

These blurry walls around me are caving in, but just as I begin to feel as though I'll suffocate, I see you watching me from just outside. 

That soft smirk never leaves your lips, but it doesn't feel spiteful.

It feels like you're reaching out to me, trying to save me from the poisonous thoughts being forced down my throat and the fluid they're injecting into my veins.

I think you're genuine- that you want to protect me too. 

If only I could tell you how much you mean to me, how good you make me feel.

If only I could tell you how good I could make you feel; I could be your lifeline, your support, your number one.

Would you want to hear it?

Would you say you love me back?

Of course not.