CHAPTER 6
On the outskirts of the town lived a middle-aged lady and her husband. This lady loved her husband very much. Obsessively so. Her husband worked as a woodcutter. Her name was Yolanda and his name was Oliver. Oliver wasn`t the sharpest tool in the shed. He would work hard instead of smart. He wouldn`t be able to figure things out if someone didn`t explain to him clearly. All that hard work has shown its merit in his physique. This man had rippling toned muscles.
That was mostly what Yolanda loved about Oliver. She would get the house chores done, take a bath, brush her hair and start eagerly awaiting her husband.
The moment he walked into the door, she would jump up, run up to him and climb him like a monkey. She would inhale a big whiff from this smelly man`s neck. She would feel like she is in heaven.
In her head, all the other women were jealous of her because she had the best husband. She would compare this buffoon of a man to all the other men in the village. In her head, Oliver would win this comparison by a large margin. This would work her up and get her excited. Apart from her horniness Yolanda was a good woman. She wouldn`t hurt a fly. Ishtar wouldn`t like her.
Oliver was a simple man. When you talk to him you got simple answers. When asked about something seemingly deep, he would answer with something that rhymes. These rhymes were not necessarily related to the subject. Then he would smile like he just said something witty. All and all Oliver was a good guy. Which, given the circumstances wasn`t a good thing at all.
One day, while Yolanda was knitting her husband a sweater a certain invisible supernatural being made his way towards her ears and said
«I bet that bitch Olga is fucking my man.»
Yolanda`s facial expression changed. Her neighbor, fisherman`s wife Olga was objectively prettier than her.
«No. That`s not it. I shouldn`t think like that.»
She said to herself.
Olga was one of Yolanda's closest friends. They would wash clothes on the lake together, went to the well together. Sometimes cooked together.
Olga loved her chickens. She would name them, sing for them. Sometimes when she sings, the chicken would rock their head up and down to the rhythm. This would make Olga very happy whenever it happens.
A day ago a grinning skull had visited Olga`s house.
«I bet that bitch Yolanda is trying to steal my chicken.» Olga gritted her teeth:
« Nooo! She wouldn`t do that, that`s silly.I shouldn`t think that way.»
And yet after that half-assed denial, Olga was already looking at Yolanda with suspecting eyes.
Across the dirt road, Yolanda was losing sleep over the idea of Oliver fucking Olga. In the middle of the night She shakes his man awake:
«Oliver darling, You love me right?»
Oliver, rubbing his sleepy eyes:
«Yeah babe, I love you more than ... more than ... umm ... uhh...»
Oliver forgot what he was going to say.
«Go to fuck to sleep ok. I'm tired.»
Oliver put his head back to the pillow and immediately started lightly snoring.
Seeing this, Yolanda was convinced. She went to the other room to silently cry.
She kept imagining scenarios in her head. In her head Olga and Oliver were twisting and knotting their tongues behind the bush, Then Olga moved in and Yolanda had to sleep in the shack with all the stocked wood.
«Bhu hu!» She cried more.
The next morning, Yolanda was giving Olga the stink eye from behind the fence. Olga was eyeballing her back.
«Is she here to steal my chicken?» Olga growled under her breath.
Yolanda steeled her resolve and walked up to her neighbor.
What a tremendous slap. 8.9 out of ten. Brilliant.
Olga saw a white light for a moment. Then came the ringing in the ear.
«Owwww! What the fuck!»
Fisherman`s wife was on her back holding her cheek.
The lich, leaning into Yolanda`s ear «This bitch loves her chicken. I`m gonna fuck with her chicken.»
Yolanda started grinning, caught a chicken by the neck.
Lich was going towards Olga. He was going to whisper: ``I knew that bitch Yolanda was after my chickens.``
Before ho could do that, with tremendous agility and vigor, Olga launched herself and bit Yolanda in the calf.
``Damn.`` the lich thought.
These two (formerly) respectable members of the community were at each other's throats, ripping each other's clothes and pulling each other's hair.
«EIIK EIIK AAAGK...»
«HIIIIHG HIIHG HII...»
Stuart felt incredible shame and guilt.
After all, he was new to this. Everything he did was against his nature.
An old lady ran towards all the ruckus the best she can.
«What are you doing?»
«She is fucking my man!»
«She is stealing my chicken!»
All the chicken were there and Oliver was out all day chopping wood.
``These bitches are out of their minds.`` granny thought.
Granny made them sit and wait for their husbands. First the fisherman, then Oliver returned from work.
Curious about the old lady's solution to this conflict, Stuart decided not to interfere.
This old woman pulled the fisherman and Oliver to the corner and said:
«These women are hysteric. You two have to beat some sense into them.»
«Umm... What?» Oliver replied.
«You heard me. Beat em up. They`ll get worse and worse every day. Beat em up!»
Oliver took his wife into the house. He made a fist with his leathery, bony working man hands. Oliver, being a dumbass, not understanding moderation, sent her flying.
The day after, Yolanda was knitting with her best friend Olga. Yolanda had a swollen black right eye and Olga had a swollen purple left eye. They were awkwardly smiling at each other.
Oliver eased Yolanda`s heart too. He was a prolific lover. It was the first and only time he hit her. It was because the old lady told him to do it. The village elder's opinion mattered a lot in this culture. And apparently it was tradition to beat up out of control women.
``I`m glad these wife-beating traditions exist.``
The wraith levitating two meters off the ground thought. `` They all will take their place in the Ishtar`s paradise.``
Day after day Stuart fucked with the townspeople.
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