73 That Crushing Feeling, Part Two
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"You have to stop being so cold to Tabitha," Zelko said.

"And why is that?" Tsuyoshi asked, already annoyed with the conversation. "She's a recalcitrant patient and she's being a total cow."

"She's scared and in pain."

There really wasn't a way to respond to that without sounding like a total dick, so Tsuyoshi didn't respond, just rolled his eyes and kept checking the nearest medical supply closet to make sure they weren't running out.

"You're not listening to me," Zelko said.

"Then why don't you try saying something worth listening to?" Tsuyoshi asked, annoyed.

"Screw you, then. I'm going to go do something else," Zelko said.

Tsuyoshi had to jog to catch up with Zelko as he clumped his way down the hall.

Not that Tsuyoshi had anything to say, but he didn't want Zelko to be in such a mood at him for the rest of the week. And whenever Zelko got like this he always ended up spending time flirting with women in an annoying showy way that made Tsuyoshi want to smash his face in, and then acting like he did nothing wrong. At least Mac had stopped flirting back. Lately Zelko had been trying to flirt with the military women from the other side of camp, even though the thin one ignored him and the tall one with the big boobs always acted confused.

Tsuyoshi grabbed Zelko's hand and Zelko stopped, just like that. Zelko's skin was warm, even at that time of year. Just holding his hand made Tsuyoshi feel that electricity between them that he knew he had to ignore for their own safety.

Zelko turned only his face to look at him. When Tsuyoshi still didn't say anything Zelko said, "Sure," and walked off. He didn't sound as angry as he had a moment before but all he gave Tsuyoshi was the view of his back as he walked away.

Tsuyoshi startled at the sound of a soft step from behind him. If he had realised Ibrahim was watching the whole time he wouldn't have bothered. He didn't want anyone to see his relationship drama.

Ibrahim offered a gentle smile. Anger set fire to Tsuyoshi's face. He didn't want to talk to Ibrahim, either.

Tsuyoshi walked back to the supply closet, finished his task as quickly as he could, and slammed the door closed.

"I couldn't help but overhear..."

"Don't," Tsuyoshi said. "Just don't."

"If you want, I won't ever mention it again," Ibrahim said.

"I obviously want that."

Tsuyoshi walked straight past Ibrahim, in the exact opposite direction Zelko had gone. The sound of Ibrahim's footsteps followed behind him. He didn't rush, but something about the steady step-step-step made Tsuyoshi feel like he wouldn't outpace Ibrahim even if he ran.

Tsuyoshi stopped just outside the doors to the hospital. There wasn't anywhere to go to get away. The entirety of Zapville wasn't big enough to truly hide from anyone. It was like being home again in that tiny apartment with uncle Tim, but even less fun.

He acceded to the inevitable and stood there. He didn't have to wait long for Ibrahim to catch up. Ibrahim looked apologetic when he walked through the doors and into the cool air of the afternoon. He always looked apologetic, so that wasn't new.

"Say what you want to say and get it over with," Tsuyoshi said.

"Ha, well, I'm quite sure I've already forgotten what I meant to say to you. How terribly forgetful of me."

"Whatever." Tsuyoshi tried not to let his hands form into fists. Something about Ibrahim made him feel very small.

"Perhaps I just think that nobody in this place should have to be alone."

Ibrahim put his hand on Tsuyoshi's shoulder, not that Tsuyoshi felt it much through the three layers he was wearing. Loose layers, granted, but it was the grinning skull patched onto Tsuyoshi's denim jacket that Ibrahim caressed his fingers over, not any of Tsuyoshi's skin.

"Is that supposed to be reassuring? Oh, yeah, I'm definitely going to tell you all of my relationship problems. On what planet?" Tsuyoshi asked.

Ibrahim drew his hand away and tucked it loosely into one of his trouser pockets.

"You're a beautiful young man. I'm sure you have no reason to worry," Ibrahim said.

Tsuyoshi looked at Ibrahim's thin half-smile, his too-strong, low cheekbones and sharp jaw, the conspicuous way he swallowed as he talked.

"I know I am but that's not something I need to hear from you."

Ibrahim laughed his strange nervous laugh and rubbed at the back of his neck, then looked away, his robot eye turning a different direction than his other eye. "Oh, I don't mean to sound like I want anything untoward from you. Not at all. I am not interested in that sort of thing."

"Or you tell people you're not interested in it even though it's not true."

"I merely care about protecting the feelings of young people. That is all it is."

Tsuyoshi breathed out and let half his anger go with it. Put his hands in his jacket pockets and kicked at the gravel. "I'm a grown man."

"Believe me, I am well aware."

Tsuyoshi looked around, saw Angharad on her own with a notebook, probably bored out of her brain. At least she'd be able to distract him.

"I'm going to go for a walk," Tsuyoshi said.

"I will come with you," Ibrahim said, strangely eager.

Tsuyoshi really was not going to be able to shake the guy.

Tsuyoshi draped an arm over Angharad's shoulder before he greeted her, but she turned her face up to him, smiling, soft-eyed. She'd probably been able to tell it was him the moment he got close.

"I'm bored. Entertain me," he drawled right into her ear.

She bounced a little as she laughed, and he went with the motion. Tsuyoshi looked around to check if Ibrahim had followed. Ibrahim was looking down at them, somehow both concerned and disapproving. Was Tsuyoshi supposed to care?

"Why are you still wearing skulls on everything?" Angharad asked. "It's not Halloween anymore."

"That's quitters talk," Tsuyoshi said. "Every day is Halloween if you believe."

Ibrahim folded his hands and said nothing as he watched them. It sucked all the fun out of it.

"I was just thinking of checking the maze of machinery again so I could, like, take notes and stuff," Angharad said.

"Ah, then we should accompany you to make sure you remain safe," Ibrahim said.

"Sure," Tsuyoshi said, already walking, arm still hanging over Angharad's shoulders. It probably would have been less awkward to go with Zelko in the first place, but he'd committed to this and he just had to put up with Ibrahim following them around as the night began to set around them.

Or he would have had to if a terrible scream hadn't ripped through the air at that moment. And then another and it didn't really seem to stop, transforming into an animal keening noise, the warning sound of something badly wounded.

Someone ran out of the far end of one of the steel tubes, just far enough way that Tsuyoshi couldn't see who it was, but the moaning continued so the runner couldn't have been the person with the injury.

"Well, I mean, we were going in anyway," Angharad said.

"Oh, no, you're not," Tsuyoshi said.

He moved past her, quickly, trying to see what went wrong before whoever it was suffered too much pain. He moved around a large pole that was blocking his view and saw the victim – the doctor's son, arm torn open, eyes wide and staring up at the lights as he cried and moaned every time he moved.

Behind him, Angharad shrieked.

"I told you to go back," Tsuyoshi said, turning.

"I didn't think it would be..." and then her voice trailed off into a stutter as she put her hands over her eyes.

"You shouldn't have to see this," Tsuyoshi said.

"I want to help," she said. Her voice was small, shaky like she also might start to cry.

He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Then go to the hospital and get someone who knows what they're doing."

She nodded and started to run.

When Tsuyoshi turned back Ibrahim was kneeling beside the kid, looking on the ground for something. That didn't help Tsuyoshi. What was he supposed to do with the boy? He wasn't trained for this and the doctor was going to absolutely freak. There was no way she wouldn't be unbearable as soon as she saw what had happened to her kid.

Up close, Tsuyoshi could see Ibrahim press a hand over the kid's hair. Ibrahim made a shooshing noise and said, "Be calm, Yong Jie."

Yong Jie shook harder at the touch, slight as it was. Tsuyoshi couldn't blame him. The boy's ruined flesh was dark with blood and bits of his skin had stuck to the upper plate of the machine. He started to make a gurgling noise.

"Keep him from swallowing his own tongue," Tsuyoshi said.

Ibrahim looked up, one hand holding whatever he'd been looking for on the ground, and said, "My hands are covered in filth."

"That better not be a metaphor," Tsuyoshi said.

He shoved Ibrahim over and moved the kid's head so it wasn't sliding back down against the metal pole. Beside him Ibrahim folded something up and put it in his pocket.

"You don't need to worry, Yong Jie. I have your glasses safe with me," Ibrahim said, then took the kid's hand.

Oh. Tsuyoshi felt like even more of an arsehole than before.

Someone arrived behind them with a stretcher before Tsuyoshi could embarrass himself by doing something stupid like apologising for his tone or something equally useless. It was Milo, and Ibrahim immediately started chatting to him while they unstuck Yong Jie carefully and loaded him up on the stretcher to take him across the camp. Not that they needed three people to carry him – the kid was pretty light.

When they finally got into the building and dumped him into one of the beds, Ibrahim said, "I assume you won't be needing me."

"We'll make Niall Turner do the nasty bits. You can tell Dr Yeoh what's happened to her child so none of us have to," said Milo.

Ibrahim nodded and walked out. Tsuyoshi almost wanted to drag him back but that would have been weird. Really weird. They weren't even friends.

"And you," Milo said, as he pointed at Tsuyoshi, "can hold this kid down until we can sedate him. Don't worry, we won't make you do the amputation."

*

When he finally left the room, Tsuyoshi's sleeves were spattered with blood all the way up the elbows. He walked straight into the showers and turned the water on over his head, clothes still on. Stood there getting wet until the water ran clear.

He at least towelled his face dry after he turned off the water.

In the hallway his feet took him past Dr Yeoh's office automatically but she wasn't there. And then he thought, did anyone tell her yet?

He walked close to the room where she slept, as quietly as he could, and listened. He could hear the sound of her breathing, muffled through who knew what. Sometimes there was a rough gasping sound, almost a choke. He wasn't surprised that she was the kind of person to hide her tears even in private. The door was only slightly open, and all he could see through the gap was an empty vodka bottle. He closed it with his softest touch, then turned and walked slowly out of the hospital.

Ibrahim was outside, brushing his outfit clean.

"It's an unfortunate circumstance not having an incinerator to deal with the body part," Ibrahim said.

"The fortunate thing would have been if we'd had antibiotics," Tsuyoshi said.

"Quite so. Such a shame. I told Milo to put it in the refrigerated room with all the bodies instead. Well, at least the boy lives. Things could be worse."

"How you can say things like that?" Tsuyoshi said. "You'll give this place ugly ideas."

Ibrahim looked across the camp with that inscrutable expression he almost always had, so you could never tell if he was sad or happy or plotting your death. He had to have practised it in the mirror. Tsuyoshi could never control his face or hide his emotions. It didn't feel fair that anyone got to be less obvious than he was.

"Yong Jie is 15. It's an interesting age. I barely remember being 15," Ibrahim said. "I'm sure you don't have that problem yet. But I remember what my brother looked like at the age of 15 when I found his body. Things could be worse." Finally, Ibrahim looked at him, and in that moment he wasn't hard to figure out at all. "Still, while your young man is ignoring you, would you like to have a cup of tea with me?"

Tsuyoshi's hair was still damp and his clothes getting cold, and in the cooling night his breath shook out visible in front of him.

"Yes. Take me somewhere warm."

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