Milo rubbed his eyes tiredly, looking at the hallway he just came from with apparent tiredness, but he still had an hour left on his shift, so he did what any sane person would do in his situation.
"Lately, the government has been trying to suppress the news due to the killings and disappearances as of late. Just yesterday, there were two more missing persons reports filed and three bodies discovered."
His eyes were drawn to the beautiful woman on his phone's screen, but her words were anything but dreadful. Ever since the government tried to lock down traveling in and out of the country, crazy shit started happening.
"Hopefully it's not too bad, otherwise I can kiss my peaceful life goodbye. How is there so many bodies turning up but not a whisper when they go missing?" Fortunately, Milo wasn't a cop or detective, so he tossed that train of thought because he was just a night shift worker for a small company.
"Milo can you leave earlier? The manager said to clear the building faster than usual, so you can leave in the next ten minutes?" A kind looking older man in a shirt and jeans poked his head into the doorway and relayed his message to Milo.
"Uh? Sure. Let me pack my stuff. Is it a tour or something?" Milo slipped his phone into his pocket and grabbed his small backpack, regretting he hadn't bought himself a car yet.
"Not sure either. Manager just said to clear out for the day. Even the day shift workers are being delayed. Maybe it's just a routine tour for the higher ups."
"Oh, did you hear the news? Something about a body being found with all it's blood drained. Some folks online say it's a serial killer." Daniel looked at Milo and smiled wryly, telling him to be careful before leaving.
"This is weird. I've worked here for months and this hasn't happened before. The world really is going to shit." Milo hadn't brought many things to work, just his phone and bag with a few snacks inside.
"Warning! The government has issued an advisory for the Evergreen City area. Be careful while outside at night." He read a text aloud as it popped up and shook his head in exasperation.
"Luckily I'm off for the next few days. I'll just stay at home until this all blows over." Hoisting his bag, he left the room and headed to the lobby, a large room with plastic chairs placed randomly throughout.
"Yo Milo! Want a ride?" A rather obnoxiously loud guy with dyed blond hair and ear piercings shouted to Milo as he exited the building, the cool night air contrasting the previously warm interior of the building.
"Thanks but I'll walk. I don't want to trouble you Ryan." Milo quickly walked away, avoiding Ryan like the plague. He honestly had nothing against the guy, there was just a personality difference between the two that made him feel weird when he was with him.
"It isn't safe at three in the morning!" Milo pretended to not hear Ryan as he turned a corner and let out a sigh. He wasn't pressed for time, but since the darkness of the night was dangerous, he hurried to get home.
"Phew. I hope it isn't too late to order more manga. I don't have a thing to do otherwise until I start working again." Milo read both manga and light novels, as the imagination of the authors amazed him constantly.
From time to time, a car would drive past Milo on the street, lights not overly bright since they were still in the city. Closing his eyes with a tired sigh, he looked around at the familiar buildings that told him he wasn't far from his apartment.
He didn't make a lot of money, so he could only afford a relatively decent place to stay. Because he didn't get out much, he also didn't have many friends or buddies either.
Milo was a bit dazed when his phone chimed again, the sound distinct to that of a government alert. Looking down, he saw that military troops were being deployed to various cities for an unknown reason.
"Can this get any shittier?" Milo put his phone back in his pocket and looked up and locked eyes with someone standing a few meters away shivering slightly in the dim lighting.
"I guess it can." Milo looked around and realized that the nearest buildings were all closed, and aside from him and the other person, he was alone on the street.
"Do I help or not? They could need help, or they could be a fraud." Milo mumbled as he maintained his pace, his eyes on the ground a few feet ahead of him.
"Y-you. I'm so... so very thirsty!" The voice was soft, but the contents were worrying. He wasn't sure what the person being thirsty had to do with him, so he pretended to have not heard anything.
He stepped past the woman and kept walking, a feeling of relief spreading throughout his body. Maintaining a distance of a few feet, he tried not to look back while rejoicing at his good luck.
Milo hadn't even taken a few more steps when an animalistic growl full of hunger and menace sounded from behind. He wheeled around just as a hand grabbed his throat and threw him through the air as if he were a bag of feathers.
"Not acknowledging is a good strategy, but I won't let my meal escape." The woman stared at Milo expressionlessly, but Milo could somehow feel malice and ill intent directed at himself, as if he were thrown into a cold snowy night.
"Wait! I don't have any money or anything okay? You can check if you don't believe me." Milo wondered where the cops were since he was being assaulted, but how could they know if no one informed them?
"Money? No, I don't want your money. I want your life!" The woman's slightly larger canines grew longer as her sclera, the white parts of her eyes turned black while her irises turned blood red.
Her pupils, which were normal narrowed and thinned, becoming elliptical like a predator's. Milo looked at the woman shaped thing in horror.
"Don't worry. Your suffering, should you survive this, is just beginning!" The woman monster accelerated and Milo couldn't even react as he felt a cold breath on his neck, then slightly moist teeth closed down on his neck and the pain began!
Thanks for the chaps!
Poor Milo. That's the reason why you shouldn't have raised a flag
Milo snack bar
"Can this get any shittier?"
Flag raised.
suck the milk out of the cookie.
Suck the cookie out of the milk
milk the of out cookie the Suck
a vampire? pehaps?
thanks for the chapter
Some corrections I caught, as well as recommended edits
Milo rubbed his eyes tiredly, looking at the hallway he just came from with apparent tiredness
> looking at the hallway he just came from with apparent exhaustion.
> he just came from with obvious exhaustion.
You’ll want to avoid repeating the same words over and over, so a good way to find synonyms
but her words were anything but dreadful.
> but her words were nothing but dreadful.
His eyes were drawn to
> Milo’s eyes were drawn to
Repeats “his”, so to avoid repetition, use milo’s name.
Ever since the government tried to lock down traveling in and out of the country,
> Ever since the government started to lock down traveling into and out of the country,
> tried to lock down travel into and out of the country,
I think this one was an issue of tenses? Also word flow.
How is there so many bodies turning up
> How are there so many bodies turning up
Fortunately, Milo wasn't a cop or detective, so he tossed that train of thought because he was just a night shift worker for a small company.
> Milo was’t a cop or a detective, so he simply got rid of that train of thought
> so he just tossed that train of thought away
>train of thought. After all, he just worked the night shift at a small company.
First part feels somewhat incomplete, and added simply/just to give it a more casual feel. Second part, you can remove the “because” and make it a separate sentence entirely.
"Milo can you leave earlier? The manager said to clear the building faster than usual, so you can leave in the next ten minutes?"
> “Milo, can you leave earlier?
> The manager told everyone to clear the building faster than usual,
> so you can go home in about ten minutes.”
First part, added a comma. Second part changed “said”, and got rid of the other question mark.
Milo slipped his phone into his pocket and grabbed his small backpack, regretting he hadn't bought himself a car yet.
> Milo slipped his phone back into his pocket
> and picked up a small backpack leaning against the counter,
> leaning against the wall,
> regretting how he hadn’t gotten a car yet.
> regretting that he hadn’t bought a car yet.
Added “back” because of a previous implication in the earlier part of the chapter where he assumedly took his phone out of his pocket. Avoiding repetition of “his” again, by specifying the location of the backpack.
"Oh, did you hear the news? Something about a body being found with all it's blood drained. Some folks online say it's a serial killer." Daniel looked at Milo and smiled wryly,
> Daniel continued,
“Oh, and did you hear the news?
> serial killer.” He looked at Milo and smiled wryly,
> the senior worker looked at Milo
Interjection to remind the reader who is speaking after the line break. Because the name is mentioned at the start, replaced with “he” or “senior worker” or anything else that refers to the older man.
It’s your first chapter, and it seems pretty good so far. Should always give your work a look-over after some time and check if there’s something that can be improved.
Anyways, it’s six in the morning, my brain is foggy and i’m buried under a bunch of blankets lol. There’s more places that i’d like to recommend edits, but i’d prefer to read the rest of the story for now.
Should’ve taken the ride…
Ever since the government tried to lock down traveling in and out of the country, crazy sh*t started happening.
That’s expected: rioting, murder, protest, outrage, and a bunch of other random crap that could potentially start a Purge
this mc is an idiot don't you? xd