"...And, I dunno, it's like they're emotionless robots or something." I stared down at my lap in Professor Wells' office. "They don't seem to care about anything anymore. Okay, well, correction: they still have SOME emotions. The positive ones. They still find things funny and they can be happy and excited and pleased, but not sad and angry and jealous..." 

"Should that not be a good thing?" Professor Wells asked, in a way that sounded like she didn't think so herself, but wanted to hear my opinion. 

I shook my head. "They're mean, and nasty, and sometimes downright wicked. And they see nothing wrong with it, because they can't feel any guilt... I mean, it seems like they can't feel guilt. In fact, it seems to make them happy when they're evil like that..." 

"I hope this isn't reminding you of anything, Daisy." Professor Wells said gently, leaning forward. She laid a hand gently on my knee, and I felt my cheeks flush. "They aren't Riddle. They aren't Felix Malfoy. They're two incredibly traumatised boys who are trying their best to deal with what happened to them in their own way." 

I looked away, biting my lip. I knew different. I'd fucked up the magic. Instead of taking away all their pain and suffering, I'd taken away every emotion that could CAUSE them pain and suffering. I'd done it too well. 

"And what about you?" I jumped, turning back to the redhead. "How have you been dealing with what happened to you? Let's start with the self-harm. Have you been getting a handle on it?" 

I subconsciously drew the sleeves of my school cardigan down over my hands. Memories of my wrists dripping with blood flashed across my mind and I blinked, chewing on my lip harder. I'd been going to Madam Pomfrey every time I'd had an episode and she'd healed my cuts, reassuring me that she wasn't going to tell anyone - but that I had to. 

"Yeah." I said. "I've been using a rubber band instead." 

Professor Wells raised an eyebrow. "A rubber band?" 

I lifted a sleeve to show her the rubber band around my wrist. I pulled it back then let go, barely wincing as the snap stung on my skin. 

"It gets the job done without having to spill blood. Sort of." 

"Well, it's a start. I'd prefer it if you weren't hurting yourself at all, but it is a start." Professor Wells's eyes were kind as they made contact with mine. "And are your urges to self harm still solely about the torture you experienced?" 

I nodded. I'd been tortured so often last year, sometimes every day for months, that sometimes I just craved the sensation of pain. Hurting myself was the only way to get rid of it. And sometimes it was the only way to forget about how it was forced upon me. At least now, I controlled the blade - or, well, the rubber band - and I was in complete control of what happened to me. 

"And what about treating yourself like an object? Has that been getting any better?" 

"Er..." I looked down at my lap again. My mind went straight to Luke in the cupboard at WWW, where I was treated by the twins and myself as a prize... Professor Wells's hand landed gently on my right one - I hadn't even noticed that I'd been snapping my band. 

"Daisy, you just have to remember that how those two men treated you does not reflect on how you are as a person." She said, squeezing my hand. "Riddle and Malfoy were evil. You have to remember that. Never treat what they believe as truth." 

I nodded, but I wasn't really taking any of what she said in. All the boys did this to me... fucking me was always seen as some sort of prize, or reward, a triumph... it was always the end goal of anybody who messed with me, or flirted with me, or kidnapped me... why was it never to date me, or be friends with me, or just to hold hands or kiss or cuddle with me? Why was it always sex? Was that all I was good for? 

Shit. I was starting to tear up. Immediately changing the subject, I said, "Why don't I react to death in the same way as the twins?" 

"Daisy, you react to death in a very obvious way." Professor Wells smiled. "Anger." 

I gaped at her. "Right... so if what happened to me the other day on the Quidditch pitch happened instead to Fred or George, I would've - what?" 

"You probably would've beaten Mr McLaggen to a pulp." 

"But that's what the twins did." 

"Not as badly as you would've done. They spent time shaking you and crying and yelling before they went at him." Professor Wells said. "That probably saved him from a much worse fate, because the teachers had been approaching before they went for him and so had been close by the time the first punch landed. You would've went straight at him, you would've had more time to - ah - what's the phrase? - fuck him up." 

I laughed weakly. She was smiling again. "Why don't I have the same reaction as them at first, though? Why don't I also scream and cry?" 

"I can't say for sure, Daisy." Professor Wells said. "But from what I know about you - you've experienced loss a lot more than them. They've also witnessed most of the deaths you have, but you were closer to the deaths than they were. Amy Rolfing - Terry Boot - granted, I know you are all best friends, but I gather that you and Terry have a special friendship bond." I nodded. "Harry, your brother - you know, people close to your heart. And, of course, your parents - you don't remember, but I'm sure it had a huge impact on you from early childhood. So it's like you're sort of used to it by now - I know that sounds bad, but you're closed off to the grief aspect of the apparent death in front of you until you've exploded and sorted out the problem. Once the killer has been apprehended, you then start to feel all the awful feelings associated with losing someone. Does that sound about right?" 

The only person who's death I've actually witnessed and remembered and didn't come back to life after, was Amy. And that was true with her. I grieved after I won that battle against Riddle at Floppy's manor and brought her body back to Hogwarts. And everyone else... Terry, Harry... I'd felt the explosion of anger and went after their killers, but they'd come back to life before I'd had a chance to fully grieve them. 

"Yeah." I said. "Sounds about right." 

Professor Wells got up, reaching out to close the window. "It's getting chilly. Look, it's starting to snow, Daisy!" 

I got up too, crossing over to stand beside her. Snow was blanketing the grounds, and students were leaving tiny trails of footprints down below. Shrieks of laughter drifted up to us as snowflakes fell past the window. I felt an odd pang in my chest as I watched a group of four third years mess around, the three boys ambushing the girl with huge snowballs at the same time. 

"You should go have fun." Professor Wells said kindly. "Remember what life should be like for you. You're only eighteen. You shouldn't be feeling like this. It's not fair for you." 

"Alright, Professor." I said, and paused at the door. "...Thanks." 

She smiled once more at me before I closed it behind me. 

I didn't know why I was feeling so sad suddenly. I thought back to the third years outside, having so much fun in the snow. So young. So innocent... I became suddenly aware that the tears I'd been holding back in Professor Wells's office were now rolling down my cheeks as I made my way down the corridor. I was glad that everyone else seemed to be outside, or in the common rooms. 

I couldn't be feeling like this because I missed my friends. Terry was always going to be my best friend, and it's not like the twins were permanently gone. No... it hit me then out of nowhere, as if I'd known all along what the cause to the sadness inside me was; third-years. Third year was the last year before everything went to shit. Before Riddle came back and ruined everything. Third year was the last year we could all be innocent and the worst thing we had to worry about was whether my doting godfather was going to break in to Hogwarts. 

And now we didn't have Riddle to worry about anymore. We should all be feeling like we did in third year. No threat of Dark Lords hanging over us. So why didn't I feel happy again? 

"Hello, my love." 

I jumped back, flinching violently. Tom Riddle, the ghost, was leaning casually against the wall beside a window, his arms folded. 

"Fuck sake." I said. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear." 

"You were thinking about me?" Riddle said smoothly. "Oh, but who am I kidding. Of course you were. You always are. Are you not?" 

"No." I said simply, staring at him. 

"My love..." Riddle's cocky expression dropped, and he took a step forward. I took one back. "Are you crying?" 

"No." I repeated, turning away. "Go away." 

"Who made you upset?" Riddle demanded, his hands forming into fists. "Who did this to you?" 

"Jesus Christ, calm down - no one." 

"If anyone has hurt you - if anyone has made you feel like this -"

"No - no one has - has -" I started to sob, knowing it wasn't true. It wasn't the twins' fault, but they had made me upset this past week, and it was all coming out now. 

Before I knew it, Riddle was next to me. He was raising a grey hand, and even though I knew I couldn't feel it, I felt a chill next to my cheek as he cupped it, staring deep into my eyes. "My love..." he murmured, "what is wrong? Please tell me..." 

And even though I knew it was a bad idea to confide in the man who had literally ruined my life, I opened my mouth and spilled everything to him. About how I missed the innocence of my youth, how Floppy was still terrorising me, how I suspected that I'd accidentally sapped the twins of their negative emotions, and how they'd encouraged me to offer myself up as a reward for employee of the month. Riddle listened intently, nodding and clenching his jaw at certain points. 

"You should break off your arrangement with them." Riddle said through gritted teeth. "They clearly do not care about you." 

"It's because I did something to them - I don't know what - or how -" 

"It is not your fault that they are acting like this." Riddle said. "They are the ones who begged you for it in the first place. They should have known the risks. You should break it off with them - at least until you figure out a way to reverse the effects. You will only get hurt if you stay with them while they are like this." 

"No way." I shook my head. "I told them I'm never leaving them. I'm not about to break a promise -" 

"But you love breaking promises, my love." Riddle observed the back of his hand casually. "I seem to recall that in our wedding vows you promised -" 

"Shut up." 

"And this McVey person..." Riddle folded his arms again. His grey eyes glinted at me. "Maybe I will deal with him." 

"You can't leave the castle." I pointed out. "Besides, he didn't do anything wrong." 

"I do not buy that. He definitely overheard what the blood traitor brats were talking about, and he let you give yourself up to him." 

"But he asked me -" 

"I do not care." Riddle's eyes flashed. I felt taken-aback for a moment, then laughed. 

"You're still jealous, aren't you?" I said in disbelief. "You ACTUALLY still have feelings for me." 

Riddle shifted on his feet. "It is time for me to go. I have to get back to the Chamber." 

"No you don't." I laughed again. "Oh my Godric - you're running away because I've just exposed you! You still care for me!" 

Riddle let out a disgruntled snort. "Goodbye, Daisy." 

"No, you don't - come back here!" I called after him as he glided away quickly down the hall. "Aww. Okay." 

~~~ 

The encounter with Riddle had left me feeling a lot better than I'd felt leaving Professor Wells's office. Talking to him had lifted my spirits due to my amusement at teasing him, and so I proposed in the Gryffindor common room that we should have a game of Gryffindor Hide-and-Seek. 

"Oh my Godric, yes!" A sixth year yelled. "I missed that!" 

"Okay, who wants to be the first Seeker?" I called out over the crowd of people gathered in front of me. 

"I'll do it!" Dennis Creevey leapt into the air, waving his hand, and I grinned. 

"Excellent." I said. "Okay, Dennis, count to five minutes. Everyone else - let's fucking GOOOOO!" 

We all shrieked and giggled as we poured out of the portrait hole. Kylie, Harry, Colin, Louis, Ginny, and I all got swept along to the Room of Requirement, where the six of us hid, crouched next to the door for the first five minutes listening out for Dennis. 

"My brother's really good at finding people in hide and seek, we're totally fucked." Colin whispered. 

"Nah, we'll be fine." I said. "This place rocks. Look, it's got so many hiding places even within the hiding place... so weird." 

We all glanced around. It was a small room, but with tons of sofas and bean bags to hide behind, multiple curtains, and wardrobes. 

"I love this room, honestly." Kylie said. "It just always knows exactly what we're looking for. Remember, Daze?"

"Shut up, Kylie." 

"Fair." 

"What are those curtains even covering, anyway?" Harry asked, striding over to one and whipping it back. "Ahhh!" 

"What?" Louis and I chorused, spinning around in alarm. 

"Just - this guy." Harry shrugged, stepping back to let us admire the painting of a guy with three eyes. 

"Um -" I said. 

"Why does that exist?" Louis said. "And why is it in here? The fuck?" 

Colin stood up to observe the painting too. Kylie smirked. 

"It's Harry." She said. 

"Huh?" 

"Oh - nevermind." Kylie shook her head, her smirk dropping. "I forgot it's specky four-eyes, not three." 

"Fuck off." Harry threw a bean bag at her. 

"It's haunting me." Ginny said, raising her wand and pointing it at the painting. There was a bright flash of pink light, and the painting was suddenly of a three-eyed pig. "Perfect." 

"Much better, Ginny. Thanks." I said. 

"Shh!" Colin said suddenly, his eyes wide. We all froze - footsteps were pacing slowly outside the door. "Fuck - everyone hide!" 

We all dove for a hiding place - I stepped into a wardrobe with Harry, who was sniggering hysterically. The door to the Room of Requirement creaked open, and I tugged the wardrobe door further over us. 

I watched Dennis, Parvati, Dean, and several younger Gryffindors step in, glancing around. A shriek came from a curtain as they passed us, and I saw Dennis grinning madly. 

"Oh Godric," I whispered as Harry slammed his hands over his mouth, uncontrollably giggling, "oh Godric, oh Godric..." 

"Fuck!" Ginny yelled as Parvati snatched her out from behind a sofa, laughing. 

"Harry, it's our time to run!" I hissed. Harry nodded, still sniggering into his hands, and I pushed the wardrobe door open more. It swung open fully, making me cringe, but none of the others were looking - Harry and I scampered out and sprinted out the open Room of Requirement door. 

"Aghhh, c'mon!" I screamed, sprinting as hard as I could down the corridor with Harry hot on my heels. I fumbled in my pocket for the Invisibility Cloak, knowing that it was cheating but not really caring, and tossed it over our heads. We slowed down, panting, and made our way up to the Gryffindor common room, giggling and chatting. 

I could see several heads pop up from behind sofas and armchairs anxiously as the portrait hole swung open. I tugged the Cloak off, extending my arms to the room. 

"It's okay, it's just us." I said. The heads still hovered nervously behind the furniture, and I sighed, clarifying. "We're not Seekers yet." 

The heads revealed themselves fully, and chatter started again. Harry and I made our way across the room towards Seamus, Lavender, Neville, and some other Gryffindors who were hiding behind a sofa next to a fireplace. 

"What's the dealio?" I said, crouching down next to them. 

"Cormac just passed us. He's a Seeker." Seamus hissed. "He was clearly too dumb to search the common room. He's trying to get up to the girls' dorms, because he thinks that would be the perfect place to hide. Dumbass doesn't realise that girl Seekers can still get up there." 

"Oh, shit." I glanced around quickly, squishing myself in closer to Seamus. 

"And Ron, Hermione, and the Weasley twins are up in the boys' dorms." Lavender whispered. "I saw them head up there after Cormac left." 

"Okay, good luck, guys!" I hissed back, staggering up and glancing around again. 

"Good luck!" Neville called quietly as Harry and I pelted across the common room. 

My twin and I hurried up the spiral staircase, peeking in each dorm as we went. We eventually came to my dorm, and I spotted them immediately. The four of them were all just standing in the middle of the room, gazing around desperately. 

"Ahhhh!" Ron shouted, pointing at us. 

"We're not Seekers." Harry said, and Ron dropped his finger, shrugging. 

"Thank fuck for that." Fred said. "We've been looking for somewhere to -" 

"Oh!" I giggled. "Quick, under here!" 

The six of us laughed and snorted madly as we all tried to squish under my blanket. The twins and Ron pressed in on either side of me, while Harry and Hermione wriggled underneath the pillows at the head of the bed, me helping them position the pillows back on top of them. It was sweltering underneath the blanket as the Weasleys and I had it tugged up over our heads, but it was hilarious - we all tittered and giggled, wriggling against each other as each other's bodies tickled us. 

"This is so fucking funny, guys." George said, his voice strained and tears spilling out of his eyes. 

"Harold, Mynee, how're you two doing under there?" I said, and two muffled snorts erupted from under the pillows. 

"This is the closest I'll ever get to being in bed with more than one person." Ron said, and the twins and I erupted with laughter. 

"Godric, I'm sweating so much." I panted, wriggling my hand out from underneath someone to brush the sweat away from my forehead, and that someone yelped, "Ouch!" 

"It's literally so warm under here!" Ron said in an exaggerated pained voice, and we all exploded into giggles again. 

"Fuck, someone's coming!" I hissed as I heard the sound of footsteps on the spiral staircase outside. 

"That's what she said." Fred muttered, and George went, "Tee hee!" in a high-pitched voice. 

There was a pause. I could hear everyone's breathing so close to my ears. 

"Is that a sixsome I see in Daisy Potter's bed?" Ginny's voice came from the middle of the room. 

And we all exploded.